


Between Gods and Devils

by kanna37



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-04
Updated: 2013-03-25
Packaged: 2017-11-09 04:44:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 121,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/451430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kanna37/pseuds/kanna37
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A broken vow leads to Mattaki's return from death with but one commandment from the kami - protect Kagome.  But soon, protecting Kagome, becomes protecting her heart - with his.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“ _I will always protect you, Kagome. I swear on my life, on the honor of my family name, on the kami. You will be protected.”_

Those were the words Inuyasha had spoken to Kagome when the well had been destroyed by her just in time to stop Naraku from getting through it. When that battle had ended, the grief that she'd choked off at the loss of her home while still fighting had overwhelmed her, and fear for her situation had taken root in her mind. 

The truth was, while traveling and fighting Naraku and looking for the shards of the jewel, Kagome knew she was as safe as she could possibly be. But once the quest was over, everyone would go their separate ways. When she'd been bound to return to her own world, that had been okay, though she would have missed her companions – especially Inuyasha. But she knew he'd chosen to follow Kikyou to hell, and in the end, she wouldn't take that choice from him.

But what he'd said to her with the remains of the well still smoldering in a clearing that was totally destroyed had given her hope. Had he _not_ chosen to follow Kikyou, after all? He was vowing himself to her, to stay with her and protect her?

She should have known it was too good to be true. For Naraku wasn't even cold on the ground before Kikyou appeared, and with few words, beckoned Inuyasha to follow her. He had been so entranced the moment that she had appeared, that he hadn't even remembered his companions still watching in shock as he disappeared into the forest, never to be seen again.

In that last moment, he'd completely forgotten his promise to Kagome, and now she was all alone in a world she had no chance of surviving in.

Yes, she was miko – but untrained, and with no one to help her, her strong, but uncooperative powers could not be counted on to protect her. They only came when she was under great emotional duress, and usually by that time, it was too late – or would have been, had she been without other protection to take up the slack.

True, Sango and Miroku would not abandon her, but they had their own lives to live, and she couldn't impose on them to the extent that would be needed without interrupting their future to a great degree.

Heart broken and laying inside her chest in tiny little pieces as she watched Inuyasha's crimson fire-rat disappear forever into the darkness of the forest, Kagome allowed her injuries from the battle, her broken heart, and her fear for the future to take her mind and force it into darkness as she collapsed to the blood-drenched ground.

The only thing echoing through her dark and empty mind as she fled the light of day was the word _forsaken._

Because that was what she was.



The repercussions of the days actions were felt more on the spiritual planes than the physical. 

Especially loud was the echo of that word forsaken as it rang through Kagome's darkened mind.

When Inuyasha had sworn what he had, he had sworn not only on his own power to protect to her, but had vowed his family's honor as well towards that same goal – all while invoking the kami's attention to the vow by calling out to them in it.

The breaking of that vow had infuriated the gods, and now his family, such as it was, would have to shoulder the responsibility for Kagome – because Inuyasha had sworn in their name. 

The heavenly realms roiled in agitation as the anger of the kami began to affect their surroundings.

“It is not to be borne!” shouted Bishamon*. “His vow was of the most powerful for those whose names he used, and his honor is forfeit for his failure to meet his obligations. He must be made to pay!”

The cool voice of Amaterasu* broke in. “Calm, Bishamon. He will pay. But that is not the issue here. Now that he is gone, what is the girl to do? His brother will never agree to take on a vow that his foolish brother spoke. I would not thrust her on him as we could so easily do, binding him to protect her, when he would do all in his power to make her existence miserable for that binding. She fulfilled our wishes in destroying the Shikon no Tama and aiding in Naraku's demise. I would not have our own honor tarnished by forsaking her now in her time of need.”

Inari* spoke up, his aspect sliding between forms as a fox appeared in his place. “What then, are we to do? Give the girl more power? Allow her to access what she already carries with no training?”

Princess Konohanasakuya* eyed the fox and nodded. “We could,” she said, her voice rumbling like a volcano through the ether. “It is not as if it is not within our power to do so.”

“But there is a reason that we do not do so,” Inari countered. “Those who gain power without having to work for it, learn nothing, and they then begin to abuse it, at first not even realizing they are. And by the time they do, they have already been seduced by the concept of power without consequence, and become that which must be destroyed – like Naraku.”

“Are you then saying that Kagome would also do the same?” Amaterasu asked. “Her heart, even broken, is more pure than any child we have ever created. Would she really react that way?”

“It does not matter,” Inari replied. “She might not – but then again, she might. There is no need to take that path – there are other ways. Let the girl gain control of her strength, but do it the right way. She must train.”

A sigh came then; the other gods turned to look at the one who'd made the sound. “You have something to say, Omoikane?”* Amaterasu asked, eyebrow raised. 

The god so addressed looked up at her and nodded. “There is only one other way to see this vow consummated, Amaterasu.” He pinned her with serious eyes. “You know of what I speak. It is said that the sins of the fathers are visited on the children down to the third generation, is it not? What then, of the sins of the children? There is only one answer, in this case, at least.” His expression deepened to solemnity as he gazed at her. “They must be visited upon the father.”

There was silence for a moment amongst the gathered gods, and then murmuring and shouts broke out as the ether around them grew thick with power.

“Yes! Make the father answer for the vow of the son!”



Darkness. 

It lay over everything in this realm of the dead, as necessary to hell as the silence that twined perfectly with it. In this realm, if there was any need for speech, it was done in whispers, for the deep places that they lay in could not withstand anything louder; death was silent – only life was noisy.

For two hundred years, Mattaki, the great Inu no Taisho, had lain covered in this realm, the bright darkness of his power faded and sleeping within him. He was not happy here – but he was not unhappy, either. He simply was. He floated in silence and darkness wrapped in warmth and light that existed only in the fragments of his mind that still dreamed.

He still knew himself, as most that lay within that realm did not, and that was why his spirit had not moved on into another life. For to escape the realm of death and darkness, you must forget who you once were, so that the gods could then shape you into someone new.

Always, he would remember who he was, remember the feel of the wind through his fur, and how it had felt to take on a human form, cloaking himself in their skin as a shapeshifter would to trick its prey. Not that he had ever preyed upon humans in that fashion, but in the analogy there lay a kernel of truth. His human skin allowed him to take what he willed from the human world – be it wealth, or be it one of their own.

Izayoi was a predation he would never forget or regret. Always, she would remain in his heart, even if it was only in a small corner of it as a bittersweet memory, but it was because of her that he had learned what being in love felt like. And it was an emotion he was glad to know – he never wished to forget what it was like to love someone in such a manner.

It was beautiful.

He wished that his firstborn would learn that lesson, too. Hoped that maybe, someday, there would be a precious human that would teach him love, as well. Wished that he could have been there to lead him in that direction – wished that he could have been there to show his youngest the same.

How fortuitous, then, for him, that at least some of his wishes were about to be granted...

All because of the careless breaking of a vow and a young woman's heart by that same youngest son.



The first breath that Mattaki took burned through his lungs like fire, shocking him into painful awareness as light once more touched his form. His senses came to life so instantly and powerfully that conversely, they almost made his mind shut back down, for after two hundred years his body had forgotten how to hold its strength.

Had forgotten how to _live._

The gods, impatient, reminded him.

When he finally opened his eyes, he took in the being before him, and submitted – he was instantly aware that this power was far greater than his own.

“What is the will of the kami?” he asked, though dazed with wonder to hear his voice speaking above a whisper, he still listened most carefully to the kami's words.

“You are to be bound by the words of your foolish younger son. He vowed protection to a child of ours on his name and his family's name, and vowed so invoking our aspects as kami,” came a voice containing more than one being. “Then he turned around and shattered that vow, forsaking his own honor and our daughter in the process. By his own words, you will be bound by our power to his word to provide protection to our daughter – forever, for her life does not burn out like others do.”

There were many things that Mattaki felt in that moment – anger, at his son and his new situation because of said son, pain, when he realized that son had not learned what love truly was, sadness for the hurt the girl must have felt at his son's broken vow. Confusion... what had brought about this circumstance? And elation – for he would once more be able to _live_ – to be freed of death's hold forever.

In all of that, there was only one thing he could say. “As it is the will of the gods, and my son's sworn word, I will take up this burden.”

Approval was granted him from the beings before him, and as he waited for their will to take effect, he smiled.

_To life!_



“Mmmm,” came a low moan of pain as Kagome began to wake. She hurt everywhere, and it was a fight just to open her eyes. They felt as though they had been weighted down with lead.

Once she managed to, she frowned, the recent past forgotten for a moment in the confusion of first waking – but that ignorance did not last long. Tears blurred the vision of Kaede's timbered ceiling as she realized in that moment just how alone she really was now.

_He left me. He forgot his vow and left without even once looking at me. Her power over him was so complete that he didn't even remember any of us at the end. And now he's gone... and I don't know what I'm going to do._

_Why did I let myself love him? Why did I let myself believe him, when he'd lied to me so many times before? I'm such a fool..._

She shook her head as anger pushed back the pain, and slowly raised herself up on her arms to look around. She could hear voices outside the hut, but she was alone inside it, though it looked as though that was a temporary thing, as there was a savory stew bubbling merrily on the fire. Kaede would never leave food on the fire and walk away – that was a quick way to lose one's home and treasured possessions to greedy flames.

It occurred to her to wonder how long it had been since the battle, but by the looks and feel of her wounds, it had been some time – at least a week, because, though she hurt, it was a great deal less than she had on that dreadful day.

Still weak, however, it took her some time to wrestle herself from the blankets that had been placed over her, and she growled in frustration at her predicament – at her  _weakness._ It was a word she was quickly coming to hate as much as Sesshoumaru did.

“ _I am weak,”_ she whispered with anguish, wishing she could hide from the knowledge but knowing she could not. “Weakness is inherent within me, and that is why I'm alone.”

She wasn't prepared for the greeting that came from behind her. Feminine, yet no one she knew, she twisted herself around as pain crashed through her causing jagged movements; she couldn't care, though, and her mind stopped all thought at the sight to meet her eyes as she finally managed to face the opposite direction.

“Who... who are you?” she asked, not differentiating her request to the two standing behind her; her question could have been for either – it was meant for both. And especially for the one that resembled Sesshoumaru – and yet didn't.

“Who _I_ am matters not, little one,” the female said. “You only need to know that I am of the kami. This one, however-” she indicated the silent male who was scrutinizing her carefully, “-is Mattaki, Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha's father. The hanyou swore an oath of power to you, and called upon the names of the gods to witness it. That kind of oath can not be abrogated. Since he showed a lack of honor in abandoning you, the gods have chosen a replacement protector – Mattaki. He has agreed to the task.”

Her jaw dropped in horror. “But I don't want to tie anyone to me like that! He shouldn't have to be forced to follow me around because Inuyasha was a jerk!”

The female sighed, a small smile crossing her face. “It does not matter, child. A vow such as was made cannot be simply dissipated. And there is this... it gives Mattaki a chance at something he would not ordinarily receive – a chance to live again. Would you deny him that by dismissing his protection?”

A scowl tightened her brow as she stared at the woman.  _She's using my heart against me! She knows I wouldn't do something like that, taking away someone's chance to live again. And now there's nothing I can do but accept..._ “This is only until I die, ne? After I pass on, he will be free to live again in any manner he chooses?”

A sympathetic expression in endless eyes, the female shook her head. “Death does not know your name, Kagome. You are an endless creation built to protect the Shikon no Tama with your very flesh. It cannot die, and so neither can you. He will be with you for as long as the jewel is.”

'You'd force him to stay with me... _forever_?” she asked, horrified. 

“Was not Inuyasha's vow to protect you 'always'?” she asked gently. “Accept it, child, because it is what will be, no matter how you rail against this.”

With that last statement, she glanced at the male who had stood by quietly, and then faded away, disappearing before Kagome could even get another word out.

She stared back at the male that was watching her with dismay – it seemed as though her fate was no longer in her own hands.

But she couldn't seem to pull any anger out of herself for the being now kneeling across from her and looking at her expectantly, as though he expected her to start yelling at him, or fate, railing against what had been decreed by the gods, or  _ something _ . But it was clear as she stared back that he was  _ not _ expecting her to simply return his own look.

“You have no questions?” he finally asked, his silky, deep voice wrapping around her spine and making her shiver... though not in fear. She pushed the reaction away.

“Oh... um, well, I think I'm still too surprised to really think of any,” she said, suddenly drooping like her strings had been cut; her injuries were once again making themselves known through her consternation.

He seemed to know what the trouble was, in a flash he was next to her and helping her to lay back and straighten out her covers.

It was while he was pulling up the covers after checking her bandages that disaster tried to strike; Kaede chose that moment to enter the hut with Sango and Miroku right behind her. The three froze momentarily as they took in the tableau before them, and then the hut erupted in shouts.

It took several tries for Kagome's sore abdomen and chest to put enough strength into her voice to get everyone's notice.

“Please, shut up!” she finally managed to yell, wincing in pain right afterward as the three froze again, this time in surprise at Kagome's words.

They watched in silence as the unknown youkai once again settled the girl against her bedding, straining to catch her now weak voice. “This is Mattaki... Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha's father,” she began wearily, not sure why she was telling this story, since she'd just heard it herself and still hadn't had a chance to take in what it would mean for her. “Inuyasha swore a binding oath, it seems, to protect me forever; since he cared nothing for his word to me, apparently the kami took exception to that lack of honor, so they brought Mattaki back to fulfill it, since Inuyasha also swore on his _family's_ name and honor.”

Warily, the three moved further into the hut and sat down, watching the two across the fire. Finally Miroku asked, “If that was the case, why did they go to the trouble of resurrecting you, Mattaki-sama, instead of just placing her with Sesshoumaru, since he is still alive?”

Mattaki studied the monk across from him as closely as the monk was studying him, and then finally said, “Because, while they could force him to be bound to the letter of the vow, namely protection, they knew that he would make her life as miserable as possible without technically violating the terms of the vow, all in payback for him being bound at all.”

At that, the three relaxed somewhat; there was no denying he'd answered well. Sesshoumaru was just the type to do such a thing, for never would he take being bound against his will easily, and none of them wanted their battered friend to face anything like the rage such a thing would engender in him.

“So... what now?” Sango asked tentatively.

The answer was simple and to the point. “We let her heal, taijiya. And then we will see what she wishes to do.”

All three glanced over at Kagome at that, only to find her eyes glassy and far away – she wasn't even in the hut with them anymore.

Silence fell over the group as Kaede stirred the stew in its pot; they all lost themselves in their thoughts as the fire danced merrily and crackled cheerfully to itself.



Back in the underworld, a portal opened with a flash of light as a soul descended into the darkness, and then closed, leaving light and life behind. Inuyasha shivered and reached out for Kikyou's hand, only to feel nothing.

Panicked, he called out to her.

His voice barely left his throat; it was muffled as though spoken into a pillow, and did not carry more than a foot or two away.

The sound was answered, however.

“Kikyou is not here,” a crumbling, quiet voice whispered back.

“Where is she, then?” he asked, fear sharpening his voice though he'd given up on shouting.

“She has moved on into her next life, hanyou. As Kagome. You, however, will not be so fortunate.” The voice became stern. “Tell me, did you forget something? A vow, perhaps?”

Inuyasha quieted as he frowned, trying to figure out what the being was talking about around his fear of what he'd already said. “What?”

“So you did forget your vow to Kagome, then,” it said, frozen disapproval in its voice. “You are a shame to your proud name, half-breed. You vowed to protect her always, on your name, your family's name and honor, and you invoked the gods as witnesses. And yet... here you are.”

_ Oh... I did. And I forgot. I'm sorry, Kagome,  _ he thought in passing. “What's that got to do with anything?” he asked. 

There was a subtle menace in the voice now as it drew closer, and Inuyasha tensed. “It has everything to do with it. Because of your lack of honor, the miko has been left defenseless. The kami are not pleased with you. For your desertion of your duty and desecration of your honorable family name, this is your punishment. The thing that Kagome saved you from – eternal sleep in loneliness with no chance of escape is the hell you now face. Relive your life in your dreams, hanyou, and know that you will never escape the regret and grief you will feel as you lose all hope to this darkness.”

And with that, Inuyasha was sealed to the void, never to know life or light again. 

The kami do not take lightly those who forsake their honor, and tarnish the gods names, as well. Inuyasha would have countless eternities to ponder on his mistakes... and grieve for them, too.



It had been a few days since Mattaki had been introduced to her, and in those days he'd stayed quietly in the background, not trying to order her around, just watching over her. It was very different than the way his son had fulfilled his promise of protection during their hunt for Naraku.

This day found Kagome sitting by the remains of the well as she thought of her family and spoke her goodbyes. The pain in her heart that now seemed permanent worsened with the loss of her future. She was truly adrift, now, with nothing to hold her in one place.

Sure, she had Sango and Miroku, Shippo and Kirara, but yet, she really didn't. Sango and Miroku were planning to revive the slayer's village, and Kagome, in the state she was in, knew she could never make a home there. There was too much of a pall of death and despair over that place for her to ever be comfortable there.

As for Shippo, he was not around all that much, now that he knew she would be okay. He was busy learning how to be a kitsune, training in the kitsune youjitsu. While he visited, still, he was moving forward with his life – a life that she was only a peripheral in.

It was something that Kagome could not do. She was not of this time, and so could not make a life within it on her own, without someone who _was_ of this time making one with her. If Inuyasha had kept his vow and stayed with her, perhaps they could have married and then she would have had a place here, but now she quite simply no longer belonged.

She was adrift without an anchor... and it came to her that was all she could ever be, here... adrift. The only thing left for her was to drift wherever the tides of time took her. Perhaps, if she did that, she could find a place for herself – a place for her to belong. Someday. But it was increasingly certain that she didn't belong where she was any longer. The village, _this_ village, could no longer house her.

It was time to move on.

Gathering what she would need and could carry in her bag slowly as she healed, she'd kept her decision secret from all but Mattaki, since he would obviously be going with her. He'd said nothing, but nodded at her with a piercing gaze, his eyes strangely knowing.

That day, Kaede had pronounced her fit once more, and Kagome had chosen to say her goodbyes, as she would be leaving on the morrow at first light. That was why she was at the well... saying her goodbyes to her family in the only way left to her.

Sitting quietly as the tall grasses blew softly in the wind around her, Kagome closed her eyes and sighed, patting the broken wood of the well with heartbroken affection. “I came to say goodbye, mama, jii-chan, Souta.” She sobbed out a broken laugh. “Things didn't end the way I hoped they would, mama. Inuyasha abandoned me. I really was just his shard-detector, and once they were all found and Naraku dead, he forgot about me and followed Kikyou. He's truly gone now.”

She fell quiet again as her thoughts wandered; her mind was so far away that she startled when Mattaki simply appeared by her side and folded his elegant body into a sitting position.

Blinking up at him as her heart slowly calmed, she waited for him to speak.

“I asked you that day, if you had questions, and you indicated that you did not,” he began, and she nodded. “I find I do, however, have questions for you, if you are willing to answer them.”

Holding his gaze for a moment, she sighed and finally looked away after several intense seconds. “You can ask, but I can't promise to answer. I will, however, promise to answer what I can.”

He cocked his head at her odd phrasing, but then thought he might understand what she was saying and simply nodded in acceptance.

Thinking for a moment, he finally began with, “Will you explain the circumstances of this vow that my son broke? The kami explained nothing but that he had broken a powerful vow, so I find myself confused by this situation.”

Kagome sighed again, twirling a piece of grass nervously between nimble fingers, she decided she would answer this question even though to talk of Inuyasha in any way hurt. He deserved to know why his sleep had been interrupted and he'd been forced to take over the responsibility to watch over her for, well, forever.

“We were... companions on a quest to reassemble a broken jewel of power called the Shikon no Tama, and to destroy an evil spider hanyou named Naraku, who also coveted the jewel,” she began, her voice weary at having to relive it all again.

“I know of the jewel – I never understood Midoriko's choice in her final battle to create such a bauble. Certainly, there were too many youkai even for one of her might to win against, but she should simply have abrogated the battle. They were all low-level youkai, and it is certain that had she left them alone-” he shot a glance at her to get her reaction, “-the world would have been better off.”

Kagome frowned. “How can you say that? They would have attacked more defenseless villages if they hadn't been destroyed!”

“Ah,” he said, “but they weren't destroyed, were they? How many more villages and people have been destroyed because of the Shikon no Tama? This jewel has caused more destruction since its creation than the original youkai would ever have been able to. Especially as higher youkai also destroy the low-level vermin when they catch them.”

She blinked, surprised. She'd never thought of that, but he was right. Why _had_ Midoriko made such a bad choice?

After a moment, she nodded and continued on with her explanations. “That makes a lot of sense, actually, but it's a question I can't answer. Anyway, Inuyasha needed me to help him gain vengeance on Naraku. Fifty years ago, the jewel was being protected by a priestess named Kikyou. Inuyasha came after the jewel, but instead of getting it, he and Kikyou fell in love. However, she was caring for a dying bandit named Onigumo who also wanted her, and when he realized that she was in love with someone else, he gave his soul to youkai and became Naraku.”

Mattaki nodded slightly, his eyes far away as he took in her story. “Hn... continue.”

She chuckled inwardly at that, just a little. _He sounds like Sesshoumaru when he says that – only not as cold. Then again, Sesshoumaru hasn't been as cold lately. I think his heart has softened... just a bit, thanks to Rin._

“Naraku decided to take the jewel, so he basically caused Kikyou and Inuyasha to betray each other, each one thinking it was the other who had done so. Kikyou died, but not before pinning Inuyasha to a tree. He was sealed there. That ended that part of the story, and it was my advent into this place that started the rest. You see, I'm the reincarnation of Kikyou.”

“How is that possible?” he asked, his eyes showing his confusion. “You say it has only been fifty years since she died? Reincarnation takes much more time than that, since the soul must forget its previous life before it can be reshaped into a new being.”

The breeze picked up, and the grass rustled for several seconds before falling still again, and Kagome picked another stalk to roll between her fingers. “Hai. You see, this well acted like a portal through time. I'm not from here – I came from five hundred years in the future.”

Stunned, Mattaki simply stared at her, not sure what to think. He didn't doubt her word, however. “That is... quite the span of time, little miko,” he finally said, a new respect in his eyes for her.

“You have no idea how right you are. My world resembles this one not at all. When I came here, I had no clue how to use a weapon, didn't know that youkai were real, and had no idea I was a miko. In my time, miko, monks, and youkai are all myths and legends. People don't even believe that they were ever real.” She glanced sideways at him. “That was why I needed protection – because I couldn't survive in _this_ world alone. And even now... I am proficient with my bow, yes, but I cannot control my miko ki. I've never been trained, and beyond my hama no ya*, I'm pretty much defenseless.”

_No youkai in the future? Well, I, at least, have to exist, because the kami ordained me to protect her... forever._ “Well, I suppose I will get the chance to see that time myself, since I will be with you for what amounts to eternity,” he chuckled wryly. “So I will save those questions for another time. Tell me the rest of this story,” he encouraged.

She nodded. “Anyway, I arrived here, and long story short, I woke Inuyasha from his seal. The Shikon no Tama was inside my body when I was born, since Kikyou had it burned with her body when she died. I was attacked by Mistress Centipede, who tore it from my side, and shortly after that, it was stolen by a corpse crow. I tried to shoot the crow, but ended up shattering the jewel and scattering it across the entire island, instead.”

“And this is where that Naraku comes back into the story, ne?” he asked.

“Yes. We began a quest to re-gather the shards, and partway through that task, Urasue, a youkai sorceress-” she paused at the odd look on Mattaki's face, then continued, “-recreated Kikyou's body from her ashes and tried to steal my soul to re-animate her. She only partially succeeded – I managed to thwart most of her spell and reclaim the majority of my soul, but Kikyou was able to remain on this plane of existence by using what she kept of my soul, and stealing the souls of dead maidens.”

“I know of this Urasue,” Mattaki said in disgust. “She was practicing her vile arts in my lands about a century before my death. I cast her from them, as I would not allow her to force those who were resting peacefully in death to return only to be enslaved by her. Without her kiln she could not perform that spell, and she could not take that with her when I sent her away. I suppose after my death she sneaked back, since Sesshoumaru was so stuck on his 'Supreme Conquest' idea.”

_He's an honorable person... it's so difficult to understand how he fathered Inuyasha._ She nodded at him. “Probably. At any rate, once Kikyou was revived, Inuyasha went crazy, I guess you could say. He'd vowed protection to me, but once she was returned, he often forgot his words, and instead, vowed to protect her. I refused to give up, though, and continued to search out the fragments of the jewel. I'm the one, after all, that shattered it, and it was my responsibility to fix it.”

“You have honor,” he said, smiling at her. “Most would have simply gone home and let someone else take up the burden.” 

She almost fell over.

_Wow,_ she thought blankly.  _Maybe I should ask him not to smile at me unless I'm sitting down, because that smile's dangerous._

His smile widened at her wide-eyed expression; he gently nudged her into continuing with the story.

Flushing, she cleared her throat. “Ah... yeah... so, anyway, after the well here was destroyed by me to keep Naraku from using it and going to the future, Inuyasha swore that he would protect me forever. His exact words were, _“I will always protect you, Kagome. I swear on my life, on the honor of my family name, on the kami. You will be protected,”_ she finished, and Mattaki growled with anger at his youngest pup. 

Eyes flashing crimson, then back to gold along with the growling didn't really comfort Kagome much, and she leaned back, her eyes wide and defenseless as she watched him cautiously. With herculean effort, Mattaki forced his black blood back into place, and let it calm before speaking again.

“I apologize, little miko, I did not mean to make you nervous. I was simply greatly angered at my son's desertion of his honor – and his friends. Tell me... what happened to him?”

Tension eased, Kagome's worry vanished and she answered quietly. “Naraku hadn't been dead five minutes when Kikyou appeared at the edge of the battlefield and called to him. He went to her, and disappeared into the forest... we won't see him again, because she took him to hell with her.” She looked up at the sky, trying valiantly to hold back her tears as the breeze blew her raven locks out behind her in a whirl of midnight black. “He didn't even say goodbye. He didn't look at any of us, didn't wave, didn't acknowledge us in any way, simply walked away as though none of us existed any longer. I think... that's what hurts the worst. To be dismissed as though I meant nothing after sacrificing so much for him.”

Mattaki watched her fight her tears, and sighed inwardly. _She loved him. And he took advantage of that love. It would have been better if he had never been sired,_ he acknowledged almost tiredly. _My mistake affected so many lives._

“I am sorry that my son hurt you so much, Kagome. I wish that I could erase what he's done to you somehow, and it is a bitter pill to know that I cannot,” he sighed, watching her watch the heavens. “It would have been better had he never been born, and that is a fault that is solely mine.”

Startled, Kagome looked back down at him. “Oh, don't say that!” she exclaimed. “Didn't you love his mother?”

He closed his eyes as he remembered his elegant wife, her smiles, and soft hands. Her eyes that always saw so much... rather like this little miko. After a moment, he said, “Yes. But Inuyasha should never have been fathered. Hanyou don't usually live good lives, and I knew this. I did not want a child of mine to suffer so - I had not planned to sire a child with my hime... it just happened. But I could have stopped it, if I had been paying attention.”

Kagome flushed and looked away with sad eyes. “I'm sorry – I didn't mean to bring up painful memories. Especially as you're trapped with me, now... and can never see her again. I feel so badly that the kami have done this to you.”

She did, too – he could feel the misery rolling off of her petite form in waves. It made something in him ache. “What do you mean, see her again?” he asked, a bit confused.

“You know, if you were to find her reincarnation.” Her eyes lit up, then, as she thought of something. “But hey... maybe you could! If you did find her again, I would stick around in the background and you could be with her once more. That way, as long as the letter of the vow was being followed, the kami wouldn't get angry,” she explained. “You could build a house for her, and I would live quietly in a small room or something. I wouldn't interfere.”

Standing up, he offered his hand to her; it was getting dark, and was time to retire to the village. Dawn would come early.

It was quiet for a few minutes as they headed for the village, but finally, Mattaki shook his head. “There would be no need for you to do such a thing, little one. A reincarnation is not the same as the previous incarnation. I loved Izayoi, that is true, but that time has come and gone, and while it will always be a bittersweet memory in my heart, I no longer mourn what is so long dead. If I find love again, I will accept it for the gift it is and not yearn after the past, destroying my future.” He met her wide, innocent eyes. “I am not Inuyasha.”

Kagome took in his words quietly, wishing that Inuyasha could have understood what his father seemed to see so easily. It would have made a world of difference, but there was really no point in thinking of the 'what ifs', because they would never happen.

The past was dead, the present was dying, and only the future still lived.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own the Lord of the Rings or any of the intellectual or real property owned by the author and/or any inheritors of his estate.



**Chapter 2**



Dawn found the two standing outside of Kaede's hut with the remainder of the group standing with them in the cool morning air. Mattaki stood to the side, letting the others say goodbye to their long-time companion in peace.

Sango cried as Kagome pulled her into a hug. “Are you sure you won't come with us?” she asked, missing her best friend already.

Kagome sighed as she hugged Sango back, then pulled away a little to meet her liquid gaze. “You know I can't, Sango,” she almost whispered. “I... I have to go out and see if I can find a place for myself. We both know I shouldn't be here, but since I am...” she trailed off, and Sango nodded on a sob.

“I know,” she whispered back. “But I'm going to miss you so much,” she sniffed. 

“It's not like I'm going back to my future world and will never see you again, Sango. I'll come around to visit every so often – after all, I have to make sure that lecherous monk makes an honest woman out of you,” she giggled wetly as Miroku tried to look innocent, and instead only managed to look like more of the lecher he truly was.

Sango let go her hold on Kagome to smack Miroku as his hand started towards her and laughed, too, though her laughter was still marred by tears. Miroku stepped forward and hugged Kagome as well, keeping his hands in respectful places as the big inuyoukai standing beside her narrowed his eyes warningly.

“I will miss you as well, Kagome-sama. I wish that things had turned out differently; but they did not, and we must now move forward with what we have been given,” he said. “I know that your ki does not always answer your call, so I have written a stack of sutra that you can easily charge – it is the same principal as your arrows, and when you pick a sutra and hold it for more than three seconds, your ki will automatically charge it. It is not much, but I did what I could, and they will help you in a pinch where your arrows are not appropriate.”

Kagome nodded shakily as she took the sutra and put some of them in a pocket that was easily reachable, and the rest in her pack – there were a lot of them, and she knew this was not only a costly gift – ink and paper was expensive in this era – but one that had taken him some time to complete. She was totally touched.

“Thank you, Miroku,” she hiccuped, a watery smile directed at him. “I'm going to miss you, you pervert. Take care of Sango – no,” she said, looking at them both, “Take care of each other.”

They both nodded solemnly, and Kagome looked over and met Kaede's wise old eye. With a sob, she threw herself into the old woman's arms, and held her tightly. Kaede had become a grandmother to her, and she would miss the comfort of arms holding her in her sorrow. “I'm going to really miss you, Kaede,” she whispered sadly. “But I'll be back to see you, because I could never forget you and just leave.”

Kaede simply nodded, hugging the girl she also saw as family, she said, “I will sorely miss ye, too, Kagome. But I understand why ye feel ye must go. I will look forward to seeing ye again, my child.”

She squeezed the older woman once more, and then stepped away. “Thank you, Kaede.”

Kaede simply nodded again, and then Kagome looked down at the very quiet Shippo, who was looking at the ground and running his toy top through nervous fingers.

“Shippo?”

He looked up as she addressed him, and she was startled to see a small smile on his mischievous face. She held out her arms to him, and he hopped into them immediately.

“Are you sure you don't want to go with me?” she asked, her voice muffled as she hugged him to her.

He nodded, his smile fading as he looked at her. “Yeah. I have to get strong before I come back and travel with you.” He looked with suspicion at Mattaki for a moment, then back at her. “That way I can protect you. But anyway,” he said, his smile coming back, “I have something for you.” He pulled out one of his acorns and showed it to her. “This acorn is special. Keep it with you always, and I'll always be able to find you no matter where you are. Don't let anyone take it from you, k?”

She smiled back at him as she put it in its own little pouch in her bag, her heart lightened a little with his gift. “So... when you take a break from your training, you'll come visit me?”

He grinned, then hopped down from her arms. “Yup! So I'll see you soon, K'gome.”

Feeling a bit better, Kagome smiled one last time at everyone, then shouldered her pack and turned to follow the road out of the village; looking back over her shoulder, she smiled and waved one last time, then turned her eyes back to look forward as her feet followed the road as it disappeared into the horizon.

It reminded her of one of her favorite poems – from the Lord of the Rings. __

 _The Road goes ever on and on  
Out from the door where it began.  
Now far ahead the Road has gone,  
Let others follow it who can!_

_The last part of it, though... about weary feet finding their rest at an inn... well, I won't be doing that. Since I don't have any money and all, I'll be sleeping outside. Which reminds me..._

“Mattaki-sama?”

The daiyoukai glanced at her. “Yes?”

“It's summer right now, of course, but fall and winter will come. Do you know of any good places – maybe a cave with some hot springs and a source of drinking water nearby that we could winter in?” she asked, blushing a little, though she didn't know why.

He cocked his head at her for a moment, wondering at the blush. “First, please call me Mattaki. There is no need for formality between us, is there? After all, we will be together for a very long time, little miko, ne?”

She looked at him carefully, wanting to make sure he meant it, and then smiled softly and nodded. “Hai. But only if you call me Kagome.”

“Agreed. Now, as to your question, I do remember a few places like that, but there is no need, unless you really want to live in a cave. I have an estate that we could be more than comfortable in during the cold months.”

Looking startled, she looked up at him with wide eyes. “Truly? After so long, would it still exist?” she asked.

“Oh, yes. It is bespelled. When I am not there, the estate, and the shadow servants both sleep. They are hidden away, and neither thieves nor time can do it any damage. I am not without money, either. In fact, I think that we should head there, first, so that I may gather some coin in case it is needed.”

“Oh, no! I couldn't ask you to spend your money on me, Mattaki! Especially as you're already stuck spending all your time with me,” she said guiltily. “I wouldn't feel right imposing on you any more than I already am.”

Smiling into the freshening morning breeze, he lifted his head and scented the air. It had been so _long_ since he'd been able to do so! “You know,” he said, his voice full of his pleasure, “it has been so long since I've been able to enjoy even this simple pleasure of breathing in the softly-scented morning air.” After a moment, he looked back down at her. “I do not begrudge this vow of my son's that I have agreed to take up. It has allowed me to live again – how could I be anything but grateful for that chance? It is a small thing to be tied to you as your protector to gain life once more in all its glory. And truly, I am pleased not to be alone – to have a companion that I know I will not lose to time or anything else. So do not feel badly, Kagome. And accept that I will use my money in any way I choose – including for you.”

She really wanted to argue with him about that, but she just couldn't; the look of contentment in his eyes as he enjoyed the morning was so captivating, and she could never deny him whatever he wanted to do. It was, after all, because of her that he was here and not dead, true – but it was also because of her that he was here, and _trapped_. He wasn't really free, and that made a lot of difference in her mind.

In the end, it wasn't as though he'd made that oath to her of his own free will. He was merely being forced to take over the vow his son had tossed aside, and that was a guilt that she would probably never completely get over.

The least she could do is give him his way in anything that she could.

But she had to smile as she watched him, his silver locks shining with such brilliance in the bright morning sunlight, and his golden eyes dancing with pleasure as he just enjoyed the day simply for what it was. She had the feeling traveling with him was going to be very different than it had been with his son.

And then something occurred to her, and she felt even more guilty. “Ah... Mattaki?” she said in a small voice, and he looked down at her questioningly. “I am so sorry – I didn't even think to ask you what you wanted to do. Is there something that you would rather do than just travel around? Perhaps... you would like to see Sesshoumaru?”

He chuckled almost merrily at her. “As for Sesshoumaru, he will find me when he chooses to. And I don't mind traveling around – it has been centuries since I roamed freely across the earth. It is good to be free to do so again.”

Her brow furrowed. “Well... is there any particular place you wish to go?” she asked.

“No, not really. Wherever the road takes us is fine with me.” Then it was his turn to frown. “But... it occurs to this one that I definitely need to return to my estate – I need a sword. As your protector, I'm going to need one, especially as we are traveling, and could run into anything.”

Kagome eyed him, surprised. “Oh! You know, I hadn't even noticed that you didn't have one. What about armor? I mean, I never see Sesshoumaru without his armor, and you probably had some, too, way back when, ne?”

Chuckling as he nodded down at her, he said, “Yes... I also have armor stored there. Do not worry, Kagome, we will have everything we need as we wander.” _She is so innocent, watching the world around her all wide-eyed with wonder._ He scowled inwardly, then. _But her eyes are shadowed, now. Because of Inuyasha. He taught her pain, and that one of my blood did such a thing angers me. It is fortunate for him that I cannot get my claws into him._

It was beyond him how someone could look into those liquid blue eyes and deliberately harm her. Or forget her for some other female. Already, barely knowing her as he did, he felt a protectiveness towards her that very few people had ever brought out in him. He knew that, even without that vow, had he just met her in some other way, he still would have chosen to protect her.

A comfortable silence fell as both walked at an easy pace, feeling no need to rush, as they were not in any hurry. For Kagome, especially, it almost felt odd to be traveling without an angry hanyou screaming at them all to hurry the hell up.

But much, much more pleasant for all its strangeness.

It took them three days at their easy pace to reach his hidden estate, and once they stood in what looked to be an empty meadow, Mattaki seemed to perk up some, obviously happy to reach their destination.

Kagome was behind him, and so did not see what he did, but he'd certainly done something, because all of a sudden, the air in front of them began to shimmer, and slowly, a traditional Japanese yamashiro began to appear before them. It took but a few moments for it to phase into sight, and then with a sigh, Mattaki smiled at her. 

“Welcome to my home, Kagome,” he stated, satisfaction simply oozing from him. She couldn't help but smile back at him.

The gate in the hei swung open and Mattaki entered with no hesitation, Kagome following him just slightly cautiously. She didn't want to anger anything that might be protecting this place. Triggering its defensive systems would probably be a very bad thing for her.

Once they reached the steps of the palace proper, several odd-looking beings stood waiting and Mattaki wasted no time in addressing them, giving orders as though he'd only just left his home a few days before – and not centuries ago.

He turned to her and gestured at one of the servants. “Follow Satoshi here, my dear, and he will show you a room, then take you to the baths so that you can refresh yourself. I hope you don't mind if we stay here for a day or so?”

She shook her head, still looking around in appreciation. The palace was beautiful. “No. It's not like I have anyplace to be,” she said, that statement seeming to pull her back to the here and now and saddening her aura a little.

Mattaki watched her for a moment with a sharp eye, and then nodded, letting it go. Now was not the time. “Well, then, after you have relaxed and refreshed yourself, he will escort you to the dining room for dinner. It's rather easy to get lost here, if you aren't familiar with the place. If you wish to explore, I will escort you after dinner.”

“Thanks, Mattaki,” she smiled shyly, and then turned to follow the designated servant. He watched her go, and then turned to the other servants still awaiting his word. “Send Hana to her as a maidservant,” he said, and one of the beings standing there nodded and disappeared to do his bidding.

Striding confidently into his home, he looked around, happy to be seeing it once again. It had been, after all, a very, very long time.

At the time he'd still been Lord of the West, he'd built this place to get away from the main palace and Sesshoumaru's mother – or anyone else that wanted to bother him. This was also where he'd loved and lived with his hime, his sweet wife. The funny thing was, he felt more at home here than he did his main palace – and he'd been born there, and lived most of his life there, as well.

But that was really his place of business, so to speak. There, he was the Western Lord, with all the responsibilities that went with the title. Here, he was simply the Lord, and there was little responsibility to worry over. It was where he could simply be himself, rather than the Inu no Taisho.

He wondered as he walked, taking a small tour of his palace just to refresh his own memories of the place, what Kagome thought of it. He really hoped she liked it, because he hoped to be able to convince her to call his home hers, as well.

While the armory here wasn't as big as the one at the main yamashiro, still, it was impressive enough, with many different weapons. While none of them were of the caliber of say, Tessaiga or Tenseiga, still, they were strong and would serve him well. And he also had extras of his armor here, as well. All in all, he would now be attired suitably as Kagome's protector. Anyone seeing him would think twice about attacking.

And since that was the purpose of the whole thing, he was more than pleased – although he decided that as soon as he had the chance, he would have Totosai create him a new sword. Plain steel just wasn't going to cut it – not after he was used to so much more, because these blades, while good enough for small-time combat, wouldn't be able to be a channel for his youki. 

Once he had taken care of his immediate weapons needs, he carried the chosen sword and armor back to his suite of rooms and smiled with a deep happy inhale of the scent here. It still smelled like him – even after all these centuries.

It instantly relaxed him, and he decided a nice soak would be a welcome thing, so, setting aside his armor and swords atop a low tansu, he headed for the bathing room, confident that Kagome should have been done by that time and back in her rooms.

He found out just how wrong he was as he entered the steamy room and stopped dead, his mind emptying of any thought as he stared at the very _naked_ young woman sleeping in the hot water. He honestly tried to turn and leave, but he simply couldn't – he was spellbound.

She was beautiful. 

Delicately molded limbs floated easily in the water as her hair wrapped around her and drifted in the pool. She was slender, but not skinny, her body curving where it ought and flat in all the right places – like her belly. She didn't appear to have an ounce of fat on her except in awfully tempting areas – like her full, rounded, high-set breasts, or what he could see of her rear end. Her legs were long and slender, and at their apex, a tiny, well-groomed thatch of black curls.

He began to sweat, just a little, and decided it was a good time to get out of that room. He'd never intended to violate her privacy in such a manner, but he couldn't help himself as he froze at the sight of something so beautiful. Perhaps he should find a willing female and settle his male needs before they once again left on their journeying? After all, it had been over two hundred years since he'd had a female...

But he dismissed that thought almost as soon as it appeared – taking out frustrated desires towards one woman on another was really not very honorable. For some reason, seeing what he had, had caused him to think of his sexual needs for the first time in centuries – which meant that _she_ was the one he desired. 

It was not really surprising. They were constantly in each others company, and she was a beautiful young woman, full of life and glowing with health even though she her light was dimmed with grief for now. It was really, now that he'd thought about it, only a matter of time before he began desiring her, since she was everything that had always appealed to him in a female form.

Finding her maidservant, he sent her in to wake Kagome from the bath, and then once it was clear, took himself in to enjoy a nice soak in the heated waters. The memory of what he'd seen, though, kept interrupting his relaxation, and he finally sighed in annoyance. It wasn't as though he could just have her, since she was just beginning to get over his son and what he'd done to her heart.

It seemed he was in for a long haul, but conversely, he knew that eventually, he would be able to have her. After all, they would be companions for basically eternity, and he knew she found him attractive – he'd scented that the very first day he'd met her. So it was only a matter of time. He winced, then, as he shifted in the water, adjusting himself to sit more comfortably. But it was promising to be a very _painful_ wait.

He sighed. _Nothing ever comes easy, does it?_



They ended up staying at his estate for three days as Kagome just took advantage of having a roof over her head and easily accessible hot water. It had been some time since she'd been able to simply relax and not have to worry about peeping monks or bad-tempered hanyou when she bathed, and she'd soaked for hours each day they were there, storing up the experience to look back on once they'd left.

The last day there, Mattaki had pulled her aside and asked her where she wanted to go when they left the next day. It wasn't something she'd really thought about, since she'd spent the last three years of her life wandering feudal Japan in a haphazard manner with no real destination in mind.

Something occurred to her then, and she frowned. “Mt. Hakurei,” she said, tapping her lip thoughtfully. “Now that Naraku's gone, I want to make sure that no one can bring him, or any part of him, back.”

Mattaki frowned as well. “What does Mt. Hakurei have to do with that? Is it not a holy mountain? I would not be able to go there, which means I would not be able to protect you. I like not that idea.”

A little puzzled as to why he seemed so... upset at the thought of her being outside his care, since they'd only been together for a little over two weeks, all told, she forced her mind to concentrate on his question. She could ponder on his odd reaction later. 

“Mt. Hakurei isn't a holy place anymore,” she said regretfully. “Naraku hid there after his body was destroyed so that he could regenerate in safety. When he was forced from the mountain, there was a great deal of his... I don't know... flesh, for lack of a better word, left behind. I want to make sure that no one can get to that place, because even though the mountain collapsed into itself after Naraku left, there could still be... open ways into the heart of the mountain.”

His brow shot up into his bangs as she spoke, and it poked at a sore spot in her heart – he looked so like Inuyasha at that point it hurt. But as she watched him, it became quite clear that he was nothing like his youngest son – and for that, she couldn't be more grateful. He was also a great deal more handsome... no, she thought, not handsome. Beautiful. Like Sesshoumaru, but, at least to her eyes, more so.

Whatever similarities he carried to his sons in looks, however, it was perfectly clear that he was nothing like them in personality – he was his own youkai.

Kagome smiled when she came to that realization, because she wanted no reminders of the past – of Inuyasha. She needed time to heal before she faced any part of that past.

It was a good thing she had that time.

She was pulled back from her thoughts as Mattaki spoke to her, waving a hand in front of her face. “Oh, I'm sorry, Mattaki,” she blushed, “I'm afraid my thoughts wandered.”

From the hint of scent she'd thrown out, he suspected he knew where her thoughts had wandered, and he'd be lying if he said he minded. But that was not his point at this time, and so he pushed such thoughts away. 

“That relieves my mind,” he said. “Still, that also means that there will be many dangers there that did not exist before. I have often found that a once holy place that has been defiled seems to draw more darkness once it has fallen than other places that were never protected by the kami in the first place. We will have to be very careful.”

“I know,” she nodded. “Especially as any place that Naraku stayed for any length of time ended up drenched in an evil aura.”

He was silent for a moment, and then said slowly, “Still, while I understand your need to make certain the place is safe, I feel the need to make it clear that if there is a place that I cannot go, then you will not go, either. If you are outside of my care, I cannot fulfill the vow I have taken up. I hope you will not fight me on this, Kagome.”

Confusion clouded her eyes as she looked at him, wondering why he was so adamantly opposed to her basically being out of his sight. Surely he was taking this protection thing a little too far?

Noting her confusion, he said, “If I allowed you to leave me behind to go into danger in places that I could not follow, then I would be forsaking my vow as much as Inuyasha did.”

“But... but it's not really your vow, Mattaki,” she replied. “You just got stuck with picking it up thanks to Inuyasha running off with Kikyou.”

“Perhaps it began that way, Kagome, but it is no longer Inuyasha's discarded vow that I am fulfilling. I chose to protect you for myself several days ago, because I realized that even without Inuyasha's vow holding me here, had I simply met you on my own, I would have chosen to protect you,” he responded, to Kagome's astonishment. “So do not fear that I am held here against my will, little miko – I am here by choice, and Inuyasha's forsaken vow has nothing to do with it any longer.”

Not knowing what to say to that declaration at all, Kagome, flustered, tried to find her footing without falling flat on her face, though it wasn't working too well as she blushed and stammered her way through her next sentence. “W-well, it s-should be okay, then,” she stuttered, her blush deepening to scalding as she realized how stupid she sounded. “I mean, there's n-nothing there that should be a problem for you.” She cringed, knowing how bad she'd sounded; peeking up at him through her lashes only made her blush more as she caught laughter in his eyes.

Choosing not to make matters worse, Mattaki simply let it go, though it was quite difficult not to tease her. Instead, he offered to walk with her in the gardens for a little exercise outside in the open air. Still trying to find her footing, Kagome nodded without looking at him, the thought that if she kept her eyes off of his too-gorgeous face, she wouldn't be flustered any longer making sure she kept her eyes glued to the ground.

_I shouldn't be thinking like that at all,_ she scolded herself.  _It's bad enough he's stuck with me instead of being with his wife in the afterlife. He doesn't need me noticing his good looks and acting like a love-struck puppy. But it makes me wonder... how did someone like him create Sesshoumaru – and Inuyasha?_

She just couldn't understand how a male with his panache had created two sons who were not anything like their father at all. Sesshoumaru and his coldness, nothing at all like his father's warm personality, and Inuyasha, socially awkward and always angry, as unlike his sire as it was possible to be.

True, Inuyasha hadn't grown up around his father, but environment only explained some of it. 

“Tell me, Kagome... what is it that you hope to find on this journey?” he asked, and Kagome snapped out of her thoughts in an instant as she wondered what he meant.

“Find?” she asked. “I'm not sure I understand.”

He could almost hear her puzzlement, so he expounded on his question. “Why did you leave the village?” he asked gently, watching her carefully though she didn't realize he was.

“Oh.” Her brow cleared, though a sad look passed over her face. “I get it. I left because I just don't belong there. I never really did. But now I have no real ties there except Kaede, and she'll not last too much longer,” she said, her aura becoming depressed. “And I could never live in the slayer's village with Sango and Miroku – it... I don't know... reeks of death and despair. Agony. They may not feel it, but I do, and I could never be happy there. So... I suppose this journey is to find a place to belong – if I even can.”

He nodded thoughtfully, looking at the ground as they walked. “I see. And have you any thoughts on where you might find your 'place to belong'?”

She shook her head. “No. I keep wondering if I even can belong anywhere in this time. If I hadn't had to destroy the well to keep Naraku or anyone else from getting through it... I would have just gone home. But... that's not an option anymore, and home is five hundred years away from where I am.”

He nodded as they walked, letting the fresh air and sunshine do its job. “It is certainly a difficult thing to deal with,” he agreed. “There are no easy answers. But I think that you will find what you are looking for – once you stop thinking about it and just let the answer come to you.”

She eyed him suspiciously, wondering what he was getting at, then shrugged lightly and simply nodded. “Probably,” she said lightly, lifting her little face to the sun and closing her eyes.

With her eyes closed, she had no idea that his own gaze was pinned on her while a faint question lay deep within those golden eyes. She was a puzzle in some ways, and he wanted to find the answers. There was something about her that was drawing him in, and since he wasn't fighting it, it wouldn't be long until he was obsessed. 

There were worse things he could be obsessed about, he figured, and so when the thought occurred to him he simply shrugged his shoulders and ignored the warning chime that his sub-conscious gave off.

After a few minutes of silence, he asked, “Do you mind if we take a slight detour on the way to Mt. Hakurei? I find that I am in need of a sword that is a little more than just a sword, if you take my meaning.”

She shook her head with a small smile. “No... I daresay Totosai will be very glad to see you, as will Myouga, who I am sure is enjoying the free meals he can get from Momo – and the significant lack of danger that hovers near Totosai.” She let out a small laugh; he was captivated at the delicate sound as for one moment true amusement pushed back the sorrow, grief, and melancholy she had been surrounded by since he'd met her. He stared at her, intrigued by this glimpse into her as she was before his son had damaged her, and hoped that he could help her heal until she was that way again.

After a moment of surveying her, he answered. “Yes, Myouga always was a coward, and Totosai as well. Surprising, since he isn't exactly powerless. Still, it will be good to see my old friends again.”

By that time, they had circled the entire garden and were once more nearing the doors into the shiro; Mattaki led her inside and to her door with a smile. “I will leave you here to ready yourself for the journey tomorrow, and will see you at first light?”

She nodded and slid her door open before stepping inside. “Goodnight, Mattaki,” she said softly, and he inclined his head.

“Goodnight, little priestess,” he replied, then turned and headed for his own rooms as she slid her door closed once more.

It would be an early start, and he wanted to be well rested, for he had a very good idea that the _true_ journey that they would be embarking on was one that would be taken through her heart – and those kinds of journeys were always the longest...

And most difficult.



Looking up at the mountain that Totosai called home, Kagome wrinkled her nose as the smell of the place penetrated her thoughts. The mountain was noisome, steams and fires burst through the thin crust in varying places, releasing poison into the air. It was not a place that a simple human girl could go.

Before she could ask her companion how they were to get to Totosai, the low 'moo' of Momo broke the loud silence, and she shielded her face with her hands as Totosai, cross-legged atop the three-eyed beast, almost dropped his huge hammer at the sight of his guest.

“M-master?” he called out as the cow plunged to the ground and landed with jarring impact. He blinked those huge eyes several times, obviously thinking he was seeing things, but when Mattaki shook his head and began to grin, he slid off his ride and bowed low, astonished, but very happy. “I never expected to see you again, master,” he sighed after a moment, eyeing Kagome. “And you, miko... where are Inuyasha and your other friends?”

He must have realized from the look on her face that was a long and painful story, and cleared his throat apologetically. “I didn't mean to bring up bad memories... did they not make it out of a battle with that half-breed spider you all were chasing?”

Her voice caught in her throat as she tried to answer; Mattaki, seeing this, intervened. “Come, old friend, and sit with us. I will explain. Where is Myouga, or do you know?” he asked as they all sat down, Kagome throwing the daiyoukai a thankful glance at his tactful intervention of Totosai's questioning.

“Probably napping somewhere in Momo's fur, master,” he answered, slapping the cow on the rear; his action startled a burst of youki from the animal, and within moments a tiny sharp cry was heard as the nomi in question jumped from his hideout in the cow's thick fur and landed hard in surprise as he took in just who he was facing.

After a good ten minutes of listening to the old flea moan and cry of his joy at once more seeing his master, they settled down and Mattaki told their tale in its entirety, leaving Kagome to simply listen and mourn in peace.

Myouga sighed once he'd heard of his charge's actions in abandoning Kagome for a shadow of his past. “It is not really surprising,” he said sadly, looking at Kagome with regret. “Master Inuyasha could not see beyond his past to notice his future; he was simply incapable of moving on from the anguish he felt over his first love. I am saddened, but I am not surprised. I am sorry, Kagome-sama.”

Unable to speak around the lump in her throat, Kagome simply nodded, the misery in her eyes clear to all. In deference to her grief, they moved on and soon Mattaki was speaking to the swordsmith of his need for another blade, one capable of channeling his vast power. That subject perked Totosai right up – he hadn't had a decent commission in _ages_. 

He whipped out his pliers from somewhere – Kagome never could figure out where he hid half those things – and grinned gleefully, but before he could tell his former Lord to open up, Mattaki simply pulled a fang himself and handed it over to the very disappointed swordsmith.

“How long will this take?” he asked, inwardly laughing at his old friend's disgruntlement, the question perking the old man up as he studied the fang he'd been given and nodded as though it was speaking to him.

“Yes, yes, perhaps... that could work, ah-” he glanced up at a patiently waiting Mattaki, “-give me two days. This tooth is so much stronger than the ones I had to work with for Tessaiga and Tenseiga that it will not only be stronger, but take less time to create. It's quite eager to be used,” he grinned, tucking the tooth away somewhere. “Though I've gotta ask – since Inuyasha apparently doesn't exist on this plane anymore, why don't you just go get Tessaiga? I can feel it, about two day's travel from here.”

Mattaki blinked, obviously surprised, as Kagome paled. “Tessaiga?” he asked. Then he thought about it and nodded. “I understand. Tessaiga repudiated Inuyasha when he abrogated his vow to protect the living woman and remained behind when he descended to hell. But how will I find it?”

“Ah, as to that, I'll lead you to it when I'm done with this one,” Totosai said, indicating the fang he'd tucked into his clothes. He met Mattaki's gaze, and when he indicated his acceptance, the swordmaker said, “Well, the sooner begun, the sooner finished! I'll see you in two days. You gonna wait here?”

Mattaki looked around the small glade, finding it adequate; there was water and shelter to be had, though the fumes were a bit annoying when the breeze would shift that direction. He glanced at Kagome and found her eyes were miles away, but the fumes did not seem to be bothering her, so he nodded at his old friend, who promptly took off back towards his home to begin work.

Not surprisingly, Myouga chose to stay and visit with someone he'd never thought to see again; while he was saddened that Inuyasha had done what he'd done, he couldn't say he was unhappy with the result. Of course, he was saddened to see Kagome in such a state; she was a sweet girl and deserved much better treatment than what his hanyou charge had given her.

But he wasn't blind to the fact that she would, in the end, receive that 'much better'; it was only a matter of time before the two that were bound together by a vow became bound in much closer ways. After all, they would be together forever, and as they were already attracted to each other – he was very good at picking up the little signals that the big people missed – love would soon follow. He couldn't say the idea displeased him. Kagome was a sweet, loving young woman with a heart as big as creation, and Mattaki was an honorable, strong and protective inuyoukai that was very capable of love, as he'd shown with Izayoi.

He was pretty sure the kami had known just what they were doing when they'd chosen to resurrect his old friend. Although it did occur to him to wonder what would happen when the former Lady of the West decided to make an appearance. Satori was a wild card... and while her mating to Mattaki had been a political alliance and nothing more, she was still a hime in her own right, and very... conscious of social standing. Kagome, on the other hand, didn't think much of the caste system of the time. It would be an interesting meeting.

The two days passed quickly for Mattaki and Myouga, though not so quickly for Kagome; she didn't mind, however, finding herself floating in a limbo where time didn't really matter anymore. She could move as fast or as slow as she wanted, and it changed absolutely nothing. She moved outside time's influence, now.

It came to her as a peculiar thought, a realization; she was no longer tied to time, and therefore, she needed to stop thinking of time as humans did. Humans, because they lived such short lives, needed to break time down into manageable portions – portions that they could number and understand. But someone who had no day of death did not need to do that – they could see time as it really was... something without beginning or end, an endless flow of days and nights that waved millions of humans 'years' away as though they were mere minutes.

“I must measure time as though I were the earth, rather than as though I were one that lived upon it,” she sighed quietly to herself as she watched the small stream rush endlessly past her over the stones in its bed. “I don't need to worry about what day it is, or month, or year. Or even century. Because in truth, it doesn't matter. When you are as I now am, time... does not really exist. It truly has no meaning anymore.”

Mattaki just watched her, saying nothing.

She was beginning to see that her life was totally different than what she would have expected as a simple human. Her life force was different, now, and she could never go back to the way things had been.

Humanity no longer knew her as one of its daughters, instead, she was claimed by the kami. It was a difficult adjustment.

Pleased with his new sword, Mattaki enjoyed testing it as Totosai, Myouga, and Kagome watched him; he was a Master with a sword, and as much as she had always thought Sesshoumaru was the most gifted with a blade, now she knew just how wrong she was. In this way, at least, he had still not managed to best his father.

Finally, the fourth day after they had first arrived, they departed, Myouga, surprisingly, choosing to go with them. It seemed that his confidence in his master was such that he did not fear even going into combat with him.

To Kagome, that said quite a lot.

It was strange traveling with the daiyoukai and the – normally – cowardly flea and Totosai, compared to her days spent traveling with Inuyasha and her friends. There was more peace and quiet, which suited her needs perfectly at this time... she needed it so that she could grieve and begin to adjust to her new life.

There was also conversation if she so desired, she found, quite by accident, that the former Lord of the West was a gifted conversationalist; they covered diverse topics and not once was she bored. Myouga and Totosai mostly just listened during those talks, or more accurately, debates, though when she tired of those, the flea would pipe up with interesting tales culled from centuries of living. 

While it was different, and she was the only female, surprisingly, she wasn't lonely at all – there was just something about Mattaki that was truly larger-than-life, and it just wasn't possible to be lonely with him around.

That didn't mean that she didn't miss the old days, the fights and the laughter and the battles. But as time passed, she found herself adapting more and more to her new companions, and her mood eased just that much more as they headed in the direction that Totosai indicated Tessaiga was in.

It was on a day like any other that she took her first steps on the path to recovery; the day when Sesshoumaru finally appeared before his father. In his words hid a surprise that shook her up and made her start thinking, made her _see_...

He had simply appeared out of the forest ahead of them, Mattaki evincing no surprise at his presence, and truly, Kagome wasn't surprised, either – he had always had a commanding youki, one that could be felt far before he was seen.

Silver and gold, just like his father, he approached at his usual pace, and stopped when he felt like it; his eyes studied his sire, then moved to Kagome, and she could almost hear the questions.

It made her yearn for the day when she would never have to speak of her situation again.

“Father. It is a... surprise to see you again. And traveling with the miko, no less. This is a story I find I would like to hear.”

In short order, they were seated and Mattaki began speaking, once more taking the burden of telling on himself, so that she would not have to. It was something she was very grateful for.

Sesshoumaru's countenance had darkened as the story unfolded, and when Mattaki finally fell silent, he spoke, his voice cold. “It is no surprise to this one that the whelp dishonored himself so.” He looked at Kagome, then. “Human or no, you deserved much better than his behavior towards you, were worthy of much more than he could give.” As Kagome blinked in stunned silence, he turned back to his father. “So now you are bound to the miko by his vow.” Something entered his gaze, then, and he said, “But somehow, I do not think this is any great chore for you. You live again, and are bound to an attractive, honorable and powerful female, though she is untrained, and are free to wander wherever you both choose. This one believes this is more providence than punishment for you.”

Mattaki chuckled, fully aware of the stunned look on Kagome's face. “Perhaps.”

With nothing further to say, Sesshoumaru stood and nodded at his father, held Kagome's gaze for several seconds, then turned and disappeared back into the trees, having completely ignored Myouga's presence entirely – which suited the little nomi just fine.

But the things he'd said about her stuck in her mind, spinning inside her until she was almost dizzy – Sesshoumaru considered her attractive, honorable, and... powerful? She passed time with no notice as she considered his words, for Sesshoumaru to say such things meant that they were truth as he saw them. He was no liar, no matter what else he was.

And as the days passed, her shoulders lightened little by little as she began to believe his words – at least partially. It was Inuyasha's loss that they were not together, not hers. He'd made the wrong choice, and too bad, so sad for him. It still hurt, yes... 

… but not _quite_ so much now.

As those days passed, a little more of Kagome began to peek out of bruised eyes, day by day, and Mattaki watched, content to let time heal her wounds.

What was uncovered as her grief slowly dissipated was an extraordinary woman, intelligent, beautiful, and graceful with a gentle, loyal heart.

A woman he could most definitely learn to love.


	3. Chapter 3

The morning they found Tessaiga was a difficult one for Kagome. She wasn't blind – she could easily see the depression in the earth surrounding the sword that spoke of one of Kikyou's portals to hell. But the worst part of the whole thing was what she realized in that moment – Kikyou had basically tricked Inuyasha into going to hell alone...

Because she knew she would not be going with him. 

She _couldn't_ – because Kagome existed in that time period and was already using that soul. So, when she drew him into hell, he descended, and she let go of her clay form and surrendered that fragment of soul to her reincarnation, leaving him alone in darkness – just as he had been when Kagome found him bound to the Goshinboku.

_Oh, Inuyasha, you fool. She led you to your doom, and you followed all unknowing._ She wished she could understand  _why_ Kikyou had done what she had – she had known full well that Naraku had betrayed her, not Inuyasha, so that was not a valid reason for what she'd done. Could she have somehow foreseen that he would betray her, Kagome, in some way, and wished to punish him for that? After all, she would have seen it as him betraying  _her_ , just in a different form. 

After a little while, though, she'd cast the whole thing aside – there was little point in worrying over it, since it was an answer she could never have hope of gaining. After Mattaki had retrieved the Tessaiga, which chimed welcomingly when he lifted it free of the dirt in a manner it never had for Inuyasha, she'd requested that he and Totosai create a grave marker for the hanyou. It was the last thing she could do for the inuhanyou she'd loved, and though she was angry at him for leaving her as he had, she still couldn't find it in her to leave his grave unmarked and forgotten.

Casting her an enigmatic glance, Mattaki agreed, and while Totosai created it from some heavy boulders in a nearby clearing, he filled in the depression with smaller stones, almost building a cairn, save that he left the center clear for the headstone Totosai was at that minute creating, blowing flame from his mouth to heat the rock enough so that he could form it.

When it was finished and placed, Kagome nodded, pleased, and smiled at the two. “Thank you,” she'd said softly, tears running swiftly down pink'd cheeks as she'd said her goodbyes to the boy – because he was really little more than that – she'd loved so much. And despite his betrayal of her, she'd realized that she couldn't find it in her to hate him – to be angry, yes, but hate was beyond her, and was something she didn't miss for all that.

They spent the night there, giving Kagome time to kneel at the grave and say some prayers, and to cry herself out. Just being there, where he'd disappeared from the waking world, allowed her to grieve and say goodbye in a way she really hadn't been able to since it had happened. It was a rough night for her; even in her sleep, once she'd managed to find any. It was troubled and poor, and Mattaki, watching quietly, knew she would be tired in the morning, and so planned to make sure they moved slowly and stopped earlier than normal so she could catch up with her body's needs once the sharp edge of her grief had been dulled once more.

The next few days passed quietly, and oddly, Kagome found herself coming out of her upset daze a lot quicker than she had thought she would. After thinking on the matter for some time, she decided that it was because of her companion. His quiet care and matter of fact acceptance of her grief and her choice in destinations lifted her spirits, and she began comparing him and his son - subconsciously, at least at first.

She tried not to once she realized she was, turned her mind deliberately to other things every time she caught herself, but it didn't matter what she did, she found herself constantly noting the differences. After a while of trying to stop herself, she decided to just do it openly and get it over with so she could figure out whatever it was her mind was trying to tell her.

First off, the biggest and most notable difference was in temperament. With Inuyasha, there was fighting, name-calling, negative comparisons, and nagging on an almost constant basis. Peaceful times between them were few and far between, and that wasn't even including his relationships with the others in the group. 

He was always in a rush, although that really was an unfair comparison, considering that they had been after Naraku, and had a reason to rush a great deal of the time, while now, there really was no hurry. Still, even during times where they had no information and were taking a break, he was always impatient, always pushing. 

It made her wonder if he was hyper or something... maybe he had ADDHHD, or Attention Deficit Dog Hanyou Hyperactivity Disorder. The rather odd thought made her giggle, lightening the daze just a little as her sense of humor woke up a bit and tickled her for a moment. 

Mattaki was nothing like that at all. He was caring, thoughtful, always polite and noticed everything when it came to her comfort and well-being. He never rushed, letting her set the pace she was comfortable with without comment about her 'human weaknesses'. He didn't push himself on her in any way, letting her come to him if she wished to talk, otherwise letting her work her way through her sadness and grief at her own rate.

When it came down to it, when he swore to protect someone, he _meant_ it, as was obvious the first time they came across a youkai that felt like fighting. The damn demon had wanted to fight _her_ – but hadn't even gotten to finish his challenge before he was dead. And the best part of it was...not a drop of demon guts or goop came anywhere near her, unlike Inuyasha, who regularly drenched her in the stuff.

He also seemed to know where every single hot spring in Japan was located, and managed to find one for her every other night, at least, if not every night, for which, of course, she was mind-numbingly grateful. That was another difference between he and Inuyasha – Mattaki didn't mind her love of bathing, as he seemed to enjoy it just as much, always taking a turn after she had hers – which was a decidedly un-Japanese behavior. 

The concept of ladies first did not exist in their culture, women were expected to walk behind the men and the head of the household always went first, including at mealtimes. 

It made her curious enough to ask him about it one day as they were walking along in silence, Myouga had decided to head back to Mattaki's estate and await their return in comfort, hoping she wasn't stepping over some line with her question.

“Mattaki?” she called quietly to get his attention; it had seemed as though he were in deep thought. 

He immediately turned to her with a smile, that same smile she'd noted the first time she'd met him was dangerous; that hadn't changed with proximity, if anything, it made it worse and she stumbled slightly at the beauty of it.

Blushing at the knowing light in golden eyes, she forced her mind back to her question. “Um... if you don't mind me asking... why are you so different from most males of Japanese origin? I know that youkai and human are different races and all, but the mannerisms are the same between them – youkai or ningen, we are _all_ Japanese. You act differently, though.”

He blinked, obviously not expecting that line of questioning, and not sure what she meant. “If you could qualify what, exactly you are asking...?” he trailed off.

“Well, I mean, your manners are more European than Japanese. The concept of 'ladies first' is definitely not from this area,” she said dryly , brow furrowed. “European men, while still being dominant, were usually a little more polite about their belief that they were better than women.”

At that, Mattaki chuckled. “Ah. I see. As to that, it would probably be mostly, though not completely, because of my mother – and how my father treated her. You see, my mother was not from Japan. She was from Europe, though not necessarily claiming any certain country as home, as her people wandered – they were conquerors. But you are right, their mannerisms were very different. My father traveled with my mother's people for a long time, which is how he came to meet her, and after a while, he picked up their behavior. He knew she would never accept being treated as the women here are, and never forced her to try to fit in, either.” He smiled at her. “He would have had a fight on his hands if he had – she was definitely an alpha female in a way few youkai females here ever are.”

Kagome was fascinated by his story. “So the way he treated her rubbed off on you, then?”

He shook his head, a far away look in his eyes as he laughed. “No... my mother made sure I learned what you both call manners. She refused to have her son treat a woman the way the 'barbarians' here do, as she called the males of this country. And any male that challenged her for her words usually ended up dead.”

Kagome blinked. “What happened to the ones that didn't die?” she asked, still taking that in.

“Those were the ones who wisely backed down,” he chuckled fondly, obviously having loved his mother very much.

“What did she look like?” she asked softly, studying him closely as he talked of his family.

He was silent for a moment as he looked back into the distant past, then said, “She was tall, slender, with golden hair and eyes of an unusual but very beautiful twilight color. I've never seen eyes like hers on any other. My grandmother, my mother's mother, claimed it was because she had foresight. And she did, so perhaps grandmother was right. Anyway, she had lovely purple crests, one on each cheek that echoed her eyes, and a wide, beautiful smile. Many were so taken with her beauty that was all they saw, which was a dangerous mistake to make – she was very powerful and a strong warrior.”

“And what about your father?”

“My father... he was very different with my mother and me than he was with anyone else. In manner, he was a great deal like Sesshoumaru, actually. Cold and controlled – at least, once he became Lord. But with my mother and I, he was warm and loving. He loved my mother greatly, and seeing their relationship taught me much about love. I look a great deal like him, except that he didn't have the usual golden eyes of our line, having his mother's silver, instead.”

“Oh.” She eyed him, a question burning in her mind about his reasons for having two females, but wasn't sure how to ask it, or if he would even answer her. She certainly didn't want to anger or offend him...

She was startled from her thoughts by his voice. “Ask. I can tell there is something on your mind.”

Continuing to dither, she sighed and frowned, not sure she should, but finally she couldn't hold back and asked, “With the relationship between your parents, why... well, what I mean is, why did you get together with Sesshoumaru's mother and then leave her for Inuyasha's?”

He didn't seem too surprised by her question. “Satori was introduced to me by my parents and hers. They were hoping we would be agreeable to a mating. And... I admit I was blinded by her beauty. She was and is one of the most beautiful females I've ever seen. Think of a female Sesshoumaru, for he resembles her greatly.” He nodded as Kagome's eyes widened. “Indeed. And for a time, I was quite happy with the idea of mating her – she was beautiful, highly intelligent, and powerful. Then my parents died... and her cold manner began to turn me away.”

He broke off his story to tilt his head her direction; she flushed realizing what he was hearing.

“Do not be embarrassed,” he smiled, “hunger is, after all, a natural thing. We will take a break here, since it is a nice place with plenty of shade.” He pointed to the meadow to the side of the path they had been following for the last several days as they headed into the Ox-Tiger. Kagome nodded and found a nice spot in some cool grass and sat down, happy to take a rest.

After the two had eaten and relaxed somewhat, Mattaki continued his tale with little prompting from her.

“Where was I?” he tapped a finger against his lip, then nodded. “Oh, yes, after my parents died.”

“What happened to them?” Kagome asked, noting the sadness in his gaze when he spoke of their death. “You make it sound as though they died at the same time.”

“They may as well have,” he said, “it was so close together. My father had gone out to war with the dragons. They had encroached on our lands and were taking people from them, human and demon alike, to use as prey in elaborate 'hunts' they would set up as sport for their nobles. It was disgusting. Mother stayed behind to assist me in taking over in father's absence – it was the first time I'd been in charge, and she advised me. I won't go into the whole thing, for it's a long story, but their Lord had a dark sorcerer in his service, and had him craft a spell that he used to drain other youkai of their strength. My father, however, was too strong to be affected by the spell – so he drained almost his entire court and most of his family instead, and with the youki of nearly a hundred youkai, overpowered my father and killed him, though my father managed to take the bastard with him.”

He paused, his jaw tightening as he thought back to an obviously difficult and painful time for him, then continued after gaining control once again over his memories.

“Our army never even had the chance to make it back to tell us the news – my mother let out a heartbreaking scream of denial-” his eyes closed as he said that, “-then simply fell over. By the time I reached her side, she was almost gone. She told me that my father was dead, and that she loved me; that was the last thing she ever said to me or anyone else. I lost both parents in one day. With father, he was at war – we knew death was always a possibility. But mother? I was... blindsided. At any rate, Satori... she acted as though none of it mattered, and where before their deaths she had held back, once they were dead and I was Lord, she quickly agreed to a mating. But her ice left me just as cold, and by that time I was no longer interested. Still, I knew she would give me a powerful heir, and so I offered her a breeding contract, instead. She was angry at first, but when she saw the palace I offered her in exchange, she agreed.”

“Why was she like that, I wonder?” Kagome said to herself softly, not really expecting an answer, though she got one.

Mattaki sighed. “Her parents were that way. It was how she'd been raised. I learned in later years, as I had much contact with her as we raised our son, that she did have feelings – she'd been trained by violence to never show them, however. And after a time, it just became natural for her to eschew any open showing of emotions.”

“How sad,” Kagome breathed as she thought of her own upbringing. She shuddered – she could not imagine her own mother acting that way. She was suddenly very grateful for the mother she'd had.

“Yes... I learned to care for her to an extent over the years. It wasn't until after I'd met Izayoi and developed feelings for her that I found out from my son that Satori loved me. I'd never known, and while I felt badly for hurting her, there was little I could do about it.”

Kagome just shook her head, her imagination caught by such a tragic tale. She could empathize with Satori – she knew what it was like to love someone who loved another quite intimately, after all. 

“What of your own family, Kagome, if I may ask? You don't have to answer if the grief of their loss is too much for you at this time,” he said, not wanting to upset her after she'd come so far out of her shell in the last few days.

She smiled sadly and shook her head. “It's okay. It helps to talk about them, funny enough.” She sighed as her own gaze went far away this time. “My mother... she's the strongest woman I know. She's so small, not much bigger than me, and yet it almost seems as if she's ten feet tall or something. She doesn't let anyone push her around,” she chuckled. “I think that's where I got my temper, though mama's nicer than I am – most of the time.”

“Do you look like her?” he asked.

“No, not really. I guess I look like my father. Mama's face is more oval shaped, while mine's what they call heart-shaped. She has high cheekbones and the most amazing eyes. The outer rim is this dark golden brown that fades until the inner ring becomes an amber color that's not far from your golden eyes. There's so many different shades in her eyes it would take forever to count them all, I swear,” she laughed lightly. “She wears her hair short – says it takes less time to fix for a busy mother.”

“That was something I wondered – blue eyes are not common among humans here – where did you get yours?”

“We're not exactly sure, but mama thought it was from her grandmother's mother – she married a man from England in Europe. From what I was told, he didn't have blue eyes, but _his_ mother did, and I just got lucky, I guess, inheriting a recessive gene.”

“Ah,” he said, though not quite understanding her last words, he gathered the gist of what she'd said well enough. “What of your father?”

Her eyes saddened even more, though he could tell that this was a distant sadness – a sadness that had already softened with time. “I don't remember daddy too much. He died when I was almost eight. My mother was so young... and pregnant with my younger brother Souta at the time.” She picked a blade of grass and twirled it, her eyes locked on the motion. “I don't really know how she did it, taking care of everything like she did, though she did have help, I guess. My ji-chan – my father's father helped her all he could. No... they helped each other. You see, we're a shrine family from my father's side. It was a good thing that we lived on the shrine already when he passed away. But I could tell how desperately mama missed papa - she really loved him. Even when I was older and traveling with Inuyasha, sometimes when I would stay the night at home, I would hear her crying once she thought everyone was asleep and wouldn't hear her. She still missed him, even those years later. I think she always will.”

Mattaki nodded, not really needing to say anything.

“So you grew up on a shrine, with your mother, grandfather, and a younger brother?” he asked, and she nodded.

“Hai. Ji-chan... oh, he's old, and a little crazy at times. He would be seventy-nine this year,” she said, a little amused at his surprise at her grandfather's age. He still runs the shrine, and is absolutely nuts about what he calls his sacred relics and artifacts.”

Mattaki was definitely surprised. “Humans live that long in your era, and are still able to make themselves useful?”

“Yes. Our healers are very advanced, and most of what kills here is minor in my time. For instance... the coughing sickness that makes it difficult to breathe and that comes in the fall and winter here and kills so many every year? In my time it's called the flu, or influenza, and though a few people still die from it, mostly young infants, or older people with compromised immune systems, most who get ill from it are still expected to get up and go to work. I've had it several times when I was younger, and still continued with my studies and went to school.”

He was amazed. He knew of this illness, though it wasn't something youkai got, he'd learned of it through Izayoi, who'd gotten it the year before she'd gotten pregnant with Inuyasha. For a time, he'd thought he was going to lose her. And Kagome's people had made it mostly an illness that was little more than annoying?

He set that aside for a different time – for he certainly had questions about her era. 

“And what of your brother – Souta?”

“Souta's a good kid. A typical younger brother – annoying sometimes and liked to snoop into my business, but I love him. As annoying siblings go, he wasn't too bad,” she chuckled. “I miss him.”

Putting his waterskin back in his pack, Mattaki stood and stretched, then offered a hand to Kagome and pulled her to her feet. He was no longer surprised by the jolt, the heat of attraction he felt whenever he touched her, but he could tell that she was. It was probably the first time she'd been aware of anything besides her broken heart since he'd met her. He watched from under his bangs surreptitiously as she stared at her hand with wide eyes, a startled flush on her cheeks.

Pretending not to see her confusion, he began making his way back to the path – it was too little traveled to be called a road - and continued along it, drawing slowly ever nearer their destination... Mt. Hakurei. He hoped that after this, she would be amenable to returning to his estate for a while. For some reason, he wished to be a homebody for a while.

He didn't know it, for he was unaware of the route the group of shard hunters had taken when heading for Hakurei, but to Kagome's heartfelt relief, he'd chosen a different way than she'd taken with Inuyasha. The memories of the time at Hakurei, and the run-ins with the Shichinentai, brought back memories of her near-death experience... and the aftermath of the fall of Mt. Hakurei that brought back Inuyasha's abandonment of her when he went off chasing rumors of Kikyou's supposed death.

Some of her most painful memories of her time here were her memories of Akago and the feel of his tainted being searching her soul for the source of the little bit of darkness she'd carried. She still shivered thinking about it, and again, it brought a surge of anger to the surface for Inuyasha... it seemed that all her bad times could be traced to him.

She found that fact almost heartbreakingly ironic, since once, when he'd been feeling badly about hurting her, he'd told her that all of his good memories came because of her. Unfortunately, she couldn't say the same. All her memories of him caused her pain in one way or another.

With a grimace that Mattaki was all too aware of, she pushed those memories aside and focused on the peaceful scenery. It seemed that this path was even less traveled than she'd thought by the small path – walking here, she could almost believe that she and Mattaki were the only beings in existence. That thought wasn't objectionable at all, surprisingly enough.

It seemed that she'd changed a great deal more than she'd thought, and that perhaps, she'd even have to relearn who she was, because she was very different than she'd ever been before.

No longer the high-spirited, innocent and immature teenager, she was cooler, more introverted and taken with quiet thought than she'd ever been before. Her temper was calmer and took longer to ignite, which was definitely a good thing, she thought dryly. _I guess they were right when they said a calmer nature comes with maturity._ They, being her mother and grandfather. _If they could see me now, they'd be boasting about it, too._ She chuckled a little to herself. _Well, at least ji-chan would. Mama would just take it in stride as she did everything else._

She missed her mother every day, though some days were harder than others. Particularly when a bad day came... she missed the comfort and wise words her mother gave her with equal facility, usually being able to calm her rather more flighty daughter right down. She looked back at herself over the years of the quest, and sighed. She really had been flighty and high-spirited. While being high-spirited wasn't necessarily a bad thing, in the excessive amounts she'd had it in it certainly was, and she could finally look back and see that a great deal of Inuyasha's histrionics had been charged by her own.

_We fed off each other, I suppose._ And maybe that's why she was so calm now – because she'd used up all her overly large amounts of energy keeping up with Inuyasha. Now... she didn't need to. 

She looked around, judging where they were and finding herself surprised to see them coming up on a place she remembered well – the place where Kouga had fought some of the shichinentai and lost in a big way. This was where a reluctant Inuyasha had taken the wolf prince over his shoulders and carried him to a cave so she could look him over and make sure he would be okay.

That memory brought a chuckle to her as she remembered Inuyasha's very colorful language at having 'wolf stink' on his clothes.

Coming to a stop, she put out a hand and placed it atop Mattaki's.

“Is something wrong, Kagome?” he asked immediately, scanning their surroundings carefully.

Shaking her head, she said, “No, but we should stop for the night. We'll be in close to the areas I want to check by late afternoon, but I want plenty of daylight when I go into that place. It wouldn't be a good thing to be caught out in darkness in this area,” she said, her words indicating what the inuyoukai could already sense – the mountain had indeed become the home for dark things that had no use or liking for the light.

“Aye... I can feel that you're right. Very well, we'll make camp ahead in that copse of trees, then – they will give us some shelter from the winds that I can feel will soon be upon us,” he replied as he scented the entire area.

Kagome looked up at his words and met the rather ominous sight of dark gray clouds coming in towards them with dismayed eyes – she _really_ didn't want to have to shelter within the mountain due to bad weather.

Mattaki seemed to catch on to her worried thoughts. “Do not concern yourself with thoughts of fear of what is hidden in the mountain. If we must shelter there, you will be in no more danger than you are now, little miko. I promise you this.”

Grimly, she shook her head. “While I thank you for your words, even you cannot save me from the memories of this place, and the nightmares that will come,” she sighed, then looked away; dropping her bag, she sat down and began rubbing her legs absently as she sorted through her thoughts.

Knowing all too well that she was right and that he couldn't defend her from the demons in her own mind, he settled next to her and considered the sky. It would not rain that night, but it would by the next afternoon, and it was very possible they would have to shelter somewhere on or in that mountain. He chose not to say so, however – let her sleep comfortably for at least this night. Tomorrow was soon enough to worry about storms and nightmares.

The next day dawned dark and with gusty winds, and even Kagome could tell that they would be hit by noon with severe storms that would leave them sheltering inside the mountain.

With a few muttered curses as she stared at Mt. Hakurei, which almost seemed to swim in an evil aura, she cast frantically inside her mind for a safer place to ride out the day's storms – and then the cave she'd hidden in with Kouga came to mind – the one where Inuyasha had faced off with Renkotsu. So, yeah, it had memories associated with it that she would rather not wake, but it was a hell of a lot better than actually having to hide inside Hakurei.

Kagome quickly told Mattaki about the cave that they were not really to far from, and within a half hour the duo was on their way, both glad to have a place to ride out the bad weather that wouldn't leave them fighting off other, dark things to remain safe inside.  She wondered idly as they headed for the cave, just what he was capable of in battle. After all, she'd never seen him really fight, but if that mock sword fight he'd had with his new blade back at Totosai's was any indication, then she couldn't wait to see him in a decent fight. Sure, he'd killed some youkai off on the trip, but he hadn't really had to fight to do that – they were weak beings that he'd simply killed with his whip.

His whip, unlike Sesshoumaru's, wasn't poison. No, his was basically lightening. His whip was made of electricity. And it gave her all sorts of ideas that she would have to talk to him about – later. But watching beings basically getting electrocuted to death was quite... interesting. After all, in her time in the Sengoku Jidai, she'd seen a lot of ways to die. But she hadn't seen that one outside of someone getting hit by a stray lightening strike. Mattaki's whip seemed to be a concentrated electrical jolt of unimaginable power that fried his opponent so fast they probably didn't even know they were dead until they woke up in hell.

So Sesshoumaru was poison, and his father was power. That made sense, since it seemed the poison capabilities came from his mother – and his travel by light orb from his sire's electrical abilities. He was truly a composite of his parents.

She was pulled from her thoughts by a streak of lightening – speak of the devil – bursting across the dark sky almost like an announcement, and then the waterworks began, and Kagome found herself drenched and having to be very careful not to fall from the rather narrow path they were following – because the bottom of that fall would be in a very wildly rushing river that looked to have dangerous currents. She remembered that river as the one Inuyasha had pulled himself from after the explosion caused by Renkotsu had knocked them into it..

Visibility was really poor by that time, and Kagome almost missed the entrance to the cave due to the storm – and the fact that long ago explosion had knocked some stones loose upslope, and they had rolled down to partially block the now much smaller entrance. 

By the time the two had climbed inside at Mattaki's reassurance that the rocky slope was stable, both were drenched, and alone together in a cave where they would have to change.  


Suddenly, Kagome wasn't so cold – maybe she'd feel cooler if she kept the wet things on in a cave that was quite suddenly very warm? But Mattaki wasn't having any of that – her modesty would not the reason she fell ill if he had anything to say about it. And he did.

Quickly getting a fire going with wood that was only marginally damp hissing and spitting in the flames, Mattaki surprised Kagome completely as it caught well. 

“How did... I mean, where did... uh...” she pointed at the fire finally and Mattaki chuckled, knowing what she was asking. 

“I began grabbing wood as soon as I realized we would need it. It was not hard to keep most of it from getting wet, and you did not look behind to see what I was doing.”

She blinked. “Oh.”

“Now, get something dry from your pack and change. The temperature in here will drop later, and I was only able to gather so much wood,” he gestured over his shoulder to a pile of wood. To Kagome's eyes, it looked like enough to last through at least most of the night, especially as it was rather damp, meaning it would burn slower. But a daiyoukai isn't someone to argue with, and Kagome sighed and moved towards the fire, deciding that if she was going to be naked, even if it was for a short time, then she was going to be naked by the fire.

She gave Mattaki a fierce look and motioned for him to turn around, and with a chuckle, he did so, though he wasn't too honorable to sneak a peek. Yes, she was just as delectable as he'd seen at his shiro that other evening, and he sighed, inwardly – he was certain that he was in for a very long haul before he could sate his desires.

But at least she was beginning to wake up to him, if her reaction to touching him recently was any indication. She was beginning to feel the burn of attraction a lot more strongly than she had to begin with, and that was a good indicator that she was starting to come out of her cloud of depression and grief.

“Okay, I'm done,” she said, and glanced at him as he turned. “Why don't you get out of that armor and stuff? It looks terribly uncomfortable on a good day, let alone when it's wet and probably rubbing you the wrong way.”

He glanced at her, then nodded, and without a by your leave, began stripping. He was curious to see what she would do. At first, she didn't react, thinking he was only going to strip off his armor – but when his clothing began to come off, too, she flushed a deep red and squeaked, eyes wide, before turning abruptly to stare at the cavern wall.

She reddened even more at the baritone chuckle her actions occasioned from the damp daiyoukai. But her embarrassment didn't stop her from taking a quick peek, and she almost choked at what was on display behind her.

“You may as well turn around, Kagome. I am not putting anything back on until it is dried. And it is not as if my hakama have come off, ne?” he asked teasingly, sincerely wanting to laugh at the sound of another squeak as she slowly turned. It was a rather cute noise, he decided, and he'd like to hear it again. 

He was sure he would, sooner or later. _Sooner would be appreciated,_ he thought dryly.

“Come now,” he teased at her refusal to look below his chin, “I am sure you have seen the upper bodies of males before, little miko. Why is mine so different?” he asked, wondering if she would dare to answer that question.

“W-well, it was usually o-only when I was treating injuries and things... and none of them looked like you,” she blurted indignantly, and, he was certain, unintentionally, as she immediately looked away and turned even redder.

He was totally charmed.

“Kagome,” he began gently, “we are going to be together forever. That's a long, long time, you know. I am sure we will each see a great deal more of each other before the kami decide that forever is over. There is no need to be embarrassed.”

She still refused to look at him, taking a seat on top of her sleeping bag near the fire. “That's easy for you to say,” she finally said, her voice very low. “You've been married and I'm sure been with a lot of women, so you're used to seeing them naked. But I'm human, and my body's not as perfect as I'm sure you are used to, and I'm not used to seeing naked males, either human or youkai.” _Especially not ones that look like you,_ she thought nervously to herself. _Well... I did see Miroku and Inuyasha that time, but it was an accident, and I screamed and ran off. I don't really think that's an option here, and besides, running is the last thing I want to do. Staring, more like. And that's horrible. He's Inuyasha's father! I can't want_ _him!_ _It won't do. Eventually, he'll find someone to love, so I should just push any of those kinds of thoughts to the back of my mind, and off a convenient cliff._

That last thought, as depressing as it was, brought up a subject that she'd not really thought of too much, as stuck in her depression as she'd been. And now she felt like a horrid person for not asking before this...

“What do you want to do now that you're alive again?” she asked quietly, still not really looking at him as she stared, mesmerized, into the small fire.

“Do?” he asked, bemused at the sudden change of subject. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I mean, what do you want to do with your life now that you've got it back?” 

And Mattaki suddenly found himself without anything to say, because so far, he'd not thought of anything but letting her have time to grieve and then be ready to move on... to him.

But he couldn't tell her that, yet – because she wasn't quite ready to hear it, and he wasn't quite ready to say it.

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

After her last question had left Mattaki struggling for an easy answer, the cave had grown quiet; Kagome herself simply thought that he was thinking about her question – not that he was thinking about how to get around it. She had become oddly drowsy staring at the fire in the silence when he startled her out of her daze with his answer.

“I have no major ambitions to go out and conquer the world, little one. I am content with what we have been doing, although, I did wish to ascertain whether you would be amenable to returning to my estate and staying for a good long while after we have finished here. I find that of all things missed while dozing in death's arms, home was the one thing I wanted to return to, and yet could not do more than dream of doing so.” He sighed, flicking a glance at her fire-lit countenance. “As things are now, it is your home, too. What you thought to find by traveling is really behind us and waiting for our return.”

Startled at his words, Kagome at first thought to demur. How could she claim his home as hers? But then she thought about it, and realized that he was right. For if she were to deny him that, the opening of his home to her, then she would be denying him his home, as well, since he was bound to her. She really hadn't realized that because he was unable to ever leave her, he would be subject to follow wherever she went, and if she went wandering all over Japan in search of a place to live, then she would, in effect, be making him just as homeless as she was, and all for naught. So it was the least she could do, to agree, and make her home within his estate so that he could enjoy being home on a more or less permanent basis.

It wasn't as if she had any other place to go, and since he had a home here, he would be her anchor – what held her here and gave her a place to belong.

“Okay,” she finally said softly. “Once I've made sure that none of these evil things here have any way to be contaminated by Naraku's remaining flesh, we can go... home.” She felt cold saying that word; her true home was lost to her, now, and would be forever.

Pleased, he breathed an inward sigh of relief that she had given in to him on that; there really was no point in her wandering the lands looking for a place to belong when in truth she already had one – with him. 

Setting that subject aside, he reached inside his pack and pulled out his food, taking a big chunk out of the dried meat. After chewing and swallowing, he asked, “What is it that you fear happening here that you wish to make sure cannot happen, exactly? This Naraku you all fought is truly dead, ne?”

Kagome nodded, following his actions she pulled out her own food and began to slowly nibble on her rations. After a moment, she said, “Naraku was a master at planning. If one scheme failed, he always had another iron in the fire. I just want to make sure that the flesh he left behind here inside the mountain is truly gone, so that nothing else can come in contact with it and possibly provide new life to the spider through possession. Even though there is no longer a Shikon for him to chase, still, he would definitely want revenge on those that had defeated him. I don't want Sango and Miroku to suffer any more sorrow. They've dealt with enough, they don't need a resurrected Naraku to come after them for vengeance and spoil the lives they are trying to rebuild from the ruins.”

_It is funny how she does not think of herself at a time like this, only what a resurrected enemy could do to her friends._

“You are not worried for yourself?” he asked, curious.

Her answer caught him off-guard and made him chuckle, because, of course, she was right. 

“Of course not!” she denied, looking at him strangely. “You're here, ne? Naraku would be no sort of opponent for you. Why should I fear?”

“Of course you are right,” he said, echoing her own words as he chuckled. “And while he might not be as powerful as he was with shards of the jewel, without them, still he would no doubt wreak havoc on the countryside. I wish for some peace and quiet, and it is obvious that I would not get any were this being to be returned to life.”

“That's an understatement,” she nodded. “And of course, he would not dare to go after Sesshoumaru, since without the jewel he is relatively powerless, so he wouldn't need to worry about any return of the spider. But he didn't often actually confront us directly, anyway, and that's what took so long to catch him. He always used others while he remained hidden.”

“Hm. A true spider, then. For that is their way – he was merely following his nature. Very few spiders are actually aggressive in their own right. They usually hide, and trap their victims.” Mattaki glanced at her and noticed her heavy lids; looking back towards the entrance to the cave, he took note of the steady rain, and was pretty certain it would last through most of the night. “Go to sleep, Kagome – I will keep watch; it's unlikely that anything dangerous would be out and about in this. You obviously need sleep, my dear, and I would hate to see you doze off and fall into the fire. Do not fear, for I will allow nothing to harm you, little one,” he finished softly.

She nodded, indeed very tired and not inclined to argue with him. She shook her sleeping bag out and crawled inside obediently, then settled herself comfortably. “Goodnight, Mattaki,” she whispered, knowing he would hear, and her eyes fell shut as he returned her words.

_Yes, goodnight, little one. And hopefully soon, it will be a better night, when I can curl up in the bedding with you and follow you into sleep._

Mattaki watched her sleep for a good, long time that night. She was becoming a driving need, slowly, but surely. He had already figured out that he would eventually come to love her, if for no other reason than being bound together and always with one another. Even if it had been a love born of closeness rather than passion, a love that was not the same as being  _in love,_ as he had learned the difference with Izayoi and Satori, it would still be love.

But he had begun to suspect that he had no need to think that such was what he would feel for her; for it was indeed a passionate emotion that she was slowly breathing to life within him. He knew, that like Izayoi, he would come to be  _in love_ with her very soon – he was already halfway there as it was. And all he could do was curse his son and thank him in equal measure, because without his foolish insistence on following the past into its grave, he, Mattaki, would never have been brought back, and never gotten to know the little enigma named Kagome, but if he had not done what he had, Kagome would not have a damaged heart, either. 

She was so soft, so gentle, and always looking out for others. Even after what his son had done to her, she could not find it in herself to hate or turn against him; she had even gone so far as to make sure that the place he disappeared from light and life was given a marker, so that he wouldn't be forgotten. 

And she had grieved over that marker, even praying to the kami, asking for lenience in the sentence she was sure he would have been given. For forgiveness of his mistakes. Mattaki didn't have the heart to tell her that it was unlikely he would be given that forgiveness – to do so would only break her heart anew, and he didn't want to ever do that, for she had such a tender and giving one that should have never known the feel of so much pain in the first place. While the thought that his son had thrown his existence away for nothing saddened him, it was a distant sadness, a sadness of conceptualization. He was sad because it was his son, but he hadn't known Inuyasha, and so it wasn't a sadness based on knowledge of loss. It was different for her, because it was a sadness of direct loss of someone she had known and loved, and it had damaged her gentle heart quite deeply.

On top of her loving heart, she was more intelligent than anyone he'd ever known; it wasn't just that she knew a great deal due to her birth in a far distant era and being schooled in their knowledge, but that she had a native intelligence that was very high. He could look forward to many interesting debates and conversations with her that he wouldn't have been able to have with anyone else that existed. Even Izayoi, as sweet and loving as she had been, had been of no more than average intelligence, and had no more knowledge of things than anyone in his time did. He had loved her, yes, but she had never been his equal, not as Kagome was.

Underneath the fog of grief and despair that she had lingered under since he had known her, he could see faint signs of a wonderful sense of humor, and the fact that it really took very little to make her happy. She was nothing like the spoiled hime of his social strata, and that fact pleased him immensely – he absolutely hated the capricious and greedy bitches of the inuyoukai clan – indeed, of youkai blood, period, and had never had any use for them other than to use those who offered for the bodily release they promised. Once he'd married his Izayoi, of course, those assignations had ceased, for he was quite happy to stick to one female – more than that was asking for trouble, as he'd seen far too many times in his life.

Yes, Kagome was completely unlike any female he'd ever known, and it was really a foregone conclusion that she would be a temptation he would not be able to resist, just as Sesshoumaru had indicated. He was quite certain the kami had known just what they were doing when they attached him to her as they had, but unlike Sesshoumaru, who would have fought the link on principal, he was not so inclined to bite off his nose to spite his face. The kami had pretty much dropped the perfect little female right into his lap, and he was disinclined to refuse the gift.

To top off all her attributes, was her comely face and figure. She did not necessarily look like Izayoi, but their forms were somewhat similar, and frankly, she was exactly what he happened to find attractive. Long, silky ebony hair, waving down her back with life, rather than the dead straight locks most Japanese females had, presided over a fair face with beautiful blue eyes that were close to what his mother had – if they had just a hint more purple, they would almost be exact. A cute, tiny nose cast its shadow above full, sweetly bowed rosy lips – lips that were quite simply made for kissing. 

And despite her fear that her body would be too flawed to match up to what he was used to, he couldn't say he saw what she did, because he'd been quite turned on by what he'd seen that night in his baths, and just the thought had blood flowing to parts that were not useful at this time and only caused him pain. _Like now,_ he thought ruefully, gritting his teeth and willing the blood in his body to _avoid_ the place it was determined to flow to. But he couldn't help his reaction to her – it was simply the way of things when a male found a female he wanted.

He definitely wanted Kagome. A long, slender neck set into graceful yet strong shoulders and arms, no doubt the product of long practice with her chosen weapon. Rounded bosom and a dainty waist set atop beautifully curved hips and finished off by long, long legs and tiny, delicate feet – he was sure the sole would fit neatly right into the palm of his hand. And her scent was just wonderful. He inhaled deeply at the thought, a smile creasing his cheeks at the way it fed his need. She smelled of life, of exuberance, of happiness beneath her current sorrow, and he knew that very soon now, her subconscious would begin to push the grief away and heal her, returning her to her normal happy frame of mind.

He could smell it.

It would be then, he decided, that he would begin to truly court her. He was certain that by the time they finished this duty she felt she must and returned home, that she would be ready. But nonetheless, he would go slowly, taking his time to make sure that he discharged perfectly what he had begun to see as his ultimate duty – protecting her fragile heart. He never wanted to see such heartbreak and sadness in her beautiful eyes again, and especially not over anything he had done.

The night passed slowly in that manner, Kagome sleeping, and Mattaki watching over her. Just after the moon would have passed its zenith in the night sky, the rain slowed and then finally stopped, and before long, the clouds began to break up. He stepped to the entrance of the cave and studied the surrounding landscape with an appreciative yet wary eye, well aware of the creeping evils that the moon hid with such sweetly beckoning light. 

But none dared approach the cave that hid such a tempting sweet piece as the little miko – not with the strength of the youkai that guarded her. No, she could sleep right in the midst of them with no fear, for not a one would ever dare challenge the one that guarded her, for no matter where one was on the food chain, there was always someone higher – until you came to the top of the food chain, and found Mattaki. His golden eyes flared crimson in needless warning, and all the watching things cowered, then fled back to hide in their dark, deep holes. Once the landscape was once more clear and peaceful, Mattaki went back inside and stirred the fire, allowing himself to doze a little in the early hours before the morning, Kagome's animated, beautiful face entertaining him in his dreams as she had not yet done while waking.

It was only a matter of time, though, and Mattaki was a patient male.

She would come to him... soon enough.

~oOo~

A few cheerful warbles of birdsong erupted just past the entrance to the cave, and Kagome stirred, her body waking early as she was used to from so much time spent chasing the spider hanyou that had ruined so many lives. Sleeping in was not a concept that Inuyasha understood, since he didn't really even bother to sleep in the first place. It was rare that he truly succumbed to sleep, and the rest of them got used to getting little, which was why they had all learned to fall asleep early, so that they would at least be able to compensate.

The bright sunlight streaming into the cave and the cheerful chirping gave Kagome a warm feeling, despite being so close to Mt. Hakurei; indeed, they were standing amidst the foothills leading to the mountain itself. Still, with the day that looked to be forming, Kagome couldn't find it in herself to worry about darkness and fear – or even sadness and defeat.

She looked around the cave as she sat up, a little surprised to find no sign of Mattaki. Taking the chance for what it was worth, she hurriedly stood and dressed herself, just finishing before she felt his youki returning. She stuffed her used clothing in her bag just as he entered the cave, a smile lighting his face when he saw her.

“Good! I am pleased to see you awake and so lively,” he said cheerfully. “It is a beautiful day with no clouds in sight – a perfect day to do what you are wanting to do. I took it upon myself to reconnoiter, and found several seeming entrances into the mountain. A couple went only so far and then were blocked off, but there were three that are open and seem to go quite deep into the mountain, though I'm not sure just how deep, you understand, since I didn't go inside. Still, those three areas do indeed have dark dwellers, and they will like not the sunlight, meaning they will remain within the mountain.”

Kagome frowned, trying to remember exactly where the passage that they had entered the mountain was at – the one they'd exited from during its collapse had been completely blocked, but the one they'd come in from might well have survived, being a vent fissure and containing strong walls that may have held through the mountain's convulsions.

“There was one,” she began, still frowning and deep in thought, “that was where we entered when we went after Naraku. It was an ancient thermal vent, from when the mountain was still an active volcano, and might well have withstood the earthquake generated by Naraku in an attempt to bury us there.” She was still looking back through her memory and hadn't noticed his questioning look at some of her terms, and he decided to ask later. He understood enough...“It was a fairly straight, deep passage, heading straight down into the mountain, with a winding, somewhat narrow pathway up to it. Did you see that one? That's where I'd like to try first, if possible.”

“I believe I know which one you are speaking of. There are two that are similar to each other and what you speak of, so we will start with the nearest one. However, we will eat first, as I think it will be a long day, and you will need the sustenance, little one.”

Nodding, because she knew he was right, she sat down and dug through her pack, taking out a couple of oranges and peeling them expertly. She almost moaned at the sweet, juicy taste, and her eyes fell closed in enjoyment, meaning she didn't notice Mattaki's suddenly arrested look as he heard her little moan and caught her rather erotic enjoyment of the fruit. It made his groin ache – _again_. It was becoming a rather constant event, and he sighed inwardly, discreetly adjusting himself while she was not looking.

Forcibly pulling his mind away from certain body parts, he took in his own dried meat, his needs very different than her own. When sated, he took a good, long pull of his refreshed waterskin, and gestured at hers where he had set it next to her.

“Surprisingly, for its nearness to the spoiled holy mountain, the river outside the cave has crystal clear, cold water that quenches thirst quite nicely,” he said, smiling at her a little. “I took the liberty of filling your waterskin and the extra I carry, just in case we are inside the mountain longer than we hope to be.”

Kagome took a pull of hers, and had to agree, to be so close to a despoiled place, the river was clear and strangely pure. It felt good going down her throat, as had the oranges – she hadn't noticed the little things like that for weeks now... ever since... well, it was better not to think of all that, since it was over and done; it was time to put it away and look ahead, and her enjoyment of her breakfast was a sign of her mind telling her just that.

She was not inclined to argue.

It felt too good to feel alive again, and since the past was dead and gone, there was no point in trying to bury herself with it – she couldn't revive it, and to throw herself away after it would be the same mistake Inuyasha had made. She wasn't so foolish. She was still alive, and it was time to put her grief away and begin living again.

So she smiled back at the inuyoukai, who was a bit startled at the brilliance of it; he had not 'til that moment seen a true smile from her, and it was dazzling. He blinked, her voice breaking him from his daze.

“You're right – it's strange, but I've seen stranger, and I'm not inclined to argue the point. The water tastes wonderful, and so did the oranges, and I think with that I am ready to go whenever you are,” she said, her smile dimming not a bit, though it got a little smaller. “If any day boded well to face such a haunted place as this, I think this is it, and I'm glad I'm facing it with you.”

Trying to bring his mind back to business from the glory of that smile, Mattaki cleared his throat and smiled in return, nodding agreeably, though in truth he had not one idea what she'd said. He'd been too caught up in her glorious smile and the sparkle in her eyes that he had never seen before to even notice that she was speaking.

Oblivious to Mattaki's attraction to her, she shouldered her pack and waited as he took up his, as well, and then followed quietly along behind him as he led her towards the first of the three entrances he'd found.

It took them about two hours, but they were finally able to rule that one out, as it became choked with debris about halfway into the mountain, and there was little chance anything would be getting in through there. Thankfully, whatever creature was using the passage as its lair simply slithered away into a small side chamber, refusing to face the powerful being walking inside its domain.

They weren't so lucky at the second entrance. This one looked like the one from Kagome's memory, and from what Mattaki could tell, was home to several evil critters. Not that they would pose any problem for him, mind, but he cautioned Kagome to stay right beside him, and not to allow herself to be separated from him no matter what. 

He didn't need to tell her twice, and she shivered at the feel of the dark passageway down into the bowel of the mountain.

Taking a look up at the sky, he estimated that they had about twelve more hours of daylight, as it was high summer and the days were longer. That should be more than long enough for them to go in, make sure that nothing was growing underneath Mt. Hakurei that could be a problem later on down the line, and come back out. They should even be able to make it back to the cave for shelter again – but then again, since there was no point in sticking around, he could just fly them home.

Nodding to himself, he took Kagome's hand, a smile for that jolt of attraction and her still surprised hiss when she felt it crossing his lips as he entered the cavern, slowly allowing his youki to rise within him so as to provide enough light for them to see by. He didn't let go of her hand, and he could see her look up at him with a little confusion and apprehension, which he ignored, and after a few minutes, she relaxed, letting him lead her wherever he wanted as she studied the passageway closely.

It didn't take long for her to come across evidence that at least some members of their group had, indeed, been here – the characteristic grooves of the windscar carved the floor of the passageway, and at the end, she could see the remains of one of their opponents – after tugging Mattaki over to it, she could see that it was the remains of Jakotsu, that weird, creepy gay mercenary that had tried to kill Inuyasha. There wasn't much left but his sword, but it was easily identifiable. When she told Mattaki of its capabilities, he looked intrigued, and decided to take it. No evil will still left in it from its former master would ever be strong enough to overtake Mattaki, and sure enough, when he pulled it from the rubble, it flared slightly, trying to entice its new bearer to evil. Mattaki simply overwhelmed it, then snuffed out the little bits of its former owner's evil mind, basically cleansing the sword.

Kagome watched with a bit of trepidation. Not that she was worried that the sword would be able to take him over, but she didn't really want to be traveling around with an evil sword whispering all sorts of nasty things in her ears. She had hated Sou'unga for just that – because she'd been able to hear it, and it was truly, deplorably evil.

But whatever Mattaki did to this sword, once he held it, it went from evil to neutral very fast, and after looking it over with a critical eye, he slid it into his sash to bump intimately against Tessaiga and his new sword. After looking the scene of the battle over, Mattaki once again took her hand, which she'd withdrawn when he'd gone to pick up the – formerly evil – weapon, and they continued on downwards, both keeping a close eye on their surroundings.

Though the place felt evil and sickened, neither felt anything on a par with Naraku's malice, which Kagome took as a hopeful sign that nothing of Naraku's discarded flesh had survived to infect anything else. But she wasn't certain enough to turn back, even though she hated being where she was with everything within her, she wasn't willing to turn back just yet.

They had been traveling for some hours when they finally made it to the center of the mountain, the once closed mouth of the mountain surprisingly semi-open, now. There was weak sunlight filtering through a gaping hole on the western half of the plug of magma that had cooled and blocked the mouth of the mountain from daylight for so many thousands of years, and that actually made Kagome feel better. 

They'd found the hard way that Naraku's discarded flesh didn't do well in sunlight, and as Kagome looked downward to the area that all his discarded, pale flesh had rested in clumps, she couldn't see that any had survived. Still...

She tugged at Mattaki's hand, and when he looked at her, she pointed down. “That's where all his flesh was left behind when he took on his new body. Will you take me down there so we may make _sure_ that none survives?” she asked.

Mattaki didn't answer immediately; instead, he used every sense he possessed to study the ruined throat of the mountain they were in. And as far as he was able to sense, there was nothing dangerous here, so he pulled her against him, situating her carefully against his armor so that she wouldn't be hurt by the hard spikes jutting out from it. He wrapped his pelt around her and stepped off the cliff they were on, floating them gently down to the bottom and carefully setting down on an old lava flow that was just above the level of the odd-looking ground that Kagome claimed had once held Naraku's flesh.

“I would like to know why the rock looks so, there. I've never seen such,” he murmured, looking around cautiously.

“That's the remains of his flesh,” Kagome answered a bit abstractedly as she closely studied the entire ground area. It appeared that all of the clumps of disgusting, greasy flesh had basically turned to stone. Crouching down, she picked up a stone and threw it towards the furthest corner – the one corner that was apparently never in range of any sunlight; she almost fell over and shrieked as those pieces rippled angrily at the impact. It seemed that some little bit of Naraku did, indeed, still exist. She stood up and eyed them grimly as they wavered in form, though they didn't change into anything recognizable, and didn't move other than the rippling motion they'd made. 

“Well, it seems it was a good idea to come here and make sure, because those pieces over there are still active, and if they ever get ahold of anything living, I can almost bet that they'd eventually take over, creating Naraku all over again. He stored his memories in his flesh, as well as his mind, and even pieces he'd discarded before had still contained his memories and personality. 

“What will you do to destroy them?” Mattaki asked, his nose wrinkling in disgust – before Kagome had thrown the rock, there had been no scent of anything odd or bad, but as soon as those pieces of flesh had moved, a very light but disgusting odor had reached his sensitive nose.

“Oh, that's not hard. All I have to do is purify them.” She dropped her pack at her feet, and took her bow from over her shoulder, drawing an arrow from her quiver and nocking it in the bow with a businesslike stillness on her usually mobile face.

He watched in fascination as she allowed her reiki out to infuse the arrow with a brilliant pink glow, and just when it was getting too bright to look at, she released, the arrow streaking towards the now writhing pieces of flesh on the same path the rock had taken. 

It hit with a rather large explosion, and Mattaki pulled her into him and turned her away to protect her from any shrapnel or flying debris, closing his own eyes until most of the noise and commotion had passed.

When it had, he felt Kagome begin to pull away from him, and he looked over to where the flesh had been, only to find nothing left, just clean rock – the original rock of the mountain itself.

He looked down when he felt Kagome sigh, feeling the little bit of sadness that tainted her aura. “What's wrong, Kagome? Are you not happy to finish off the last of your nemesis?”

Kagome shrugged, still staring down at the now bare rock with that same sadness, and then, he thought that maybe he understood. This was the end. It as over. Every bit of the quest that she had devoted her life to completing was finished, and it was now time to put it all away and move on. To truly say goodbye. But he _was_ heartened to notice that while she seemingly felt a bit saddened, the grief and depression that had dimmed her naturally bright aura had not returned.

After a few minutes spent quietly looking the area over, Kagome seemingly put it aside and finally looked up at him. “I'm ready to go whenever you are, Mattaki. Let's go home.”

He smiled delightedly at her. “I would be most happy to,” he said, waiting for her to gather her things together and then lifting into the air again. But this time, he bypassed the corridor they'd come in through and lifted them straight up and over the lip of the old volcano, right into the still bright sunlight of early afternoon.

“I hope you do not mind, but I would like to simply fly us home. It will only take a few hours,” he said, “rather than a few days. Unless, of course, there was some reason that you wished to walk?”

She shook her head. “No... I'm good. Everything that I needed to do is done. I guess... I'm free, now, to find another path in life. So if you want to fly home, that's fine. In fact, a nice hot soak sounds lovely,” she smiled up at him, almost making him lose himself in her eyes and forget to pay attention to what he was doing. He would have been most amused to hear that he was thinking along the same lines that she had about him – that smile was dangerous. Perhaps they should both agree not to smile at each other under certain circumstances.

Those hours spent flying were the most enjoyable hours Mattaki had ever had while engaged in the familiar activity. For never before had he had a beautiful, personable female held close as the wind flowed past him, forcing him to hold her even closer and wrap his pelt around her. It was exhilarating. 

On top of that, she was indeed showing signs that she was ready to let go of the pain of the past. It had been some weeks, now, and you couldn't grieve forever. Most humans, he was aware, grieved for long periods of time. It seemed that Kagome was different. Her mind refused to linger on the pain of the past, and even though she would always remember, and a part of her would always feel that grief, the rest of her would move on, returning to life, and the enjoyment of it. She just could not shut herself away from life – for as miko, she _was_ life, in its purest form.

He was pleased with that, he couldn't deny it. For while she felt the burn of attraction for him every time they touched, she did not appear to realize that he, also, felt it. She hadn't realized that it was _reciprocal._

So far, he had refrained from enlightening her, in deference to and respect of her grief. Now, he could look forward to doing just that – and then taking the first steps in the courting dance between a couple that was _already_ bound together forever. This vow of protection they'd been bound by was basically a mating bond, in truth – the only thing missing was the intimacy. 

And if he had anything to say about it, that wouldn't be long in coming.

He looked down, his eyes soft on the little baggage in his arms and smiled slightly, pensively. As terrible as it seemed, he almost wanted to thank the son he'd never known for being a blind fool. And though it _was_ a terrible thing to think, he couldn't help but feel that way. Because if his son hadn't been lacking honor, he wouldn't have been allowed to live again and find the woman who was going to be the love of his life. 

Though he had loved Izayoi, she wasn't quite as perfect for him as Kagome was. She had been beautiful, kind, and loving, and she had taught him how it felt to be in love. And he was thankful for that – for it meant that when he finally _did_ meet someone who was perfect for him, he would recognize the feeling for what it was, and not pass it by out of ignorance.

Omoikane-kami-sama must have had a hand in making sure that he was resurrected to shelter Kagome. He _must_ have, for in this solution to their problem with Kagome being left unprotected, there showed great wisdom – and after all, was he not the kami of wisdom and knowledge? It solved several problems all at once, actually – protection for their 'daughter' as they'd named her, giving her a companion that would be with her forever, so that she would never be alone... and with the added benefit that this companion was the one and only one from this era – or close enough – that would be unable to resist one such as her.

Most males in this time period would find her far too outspoken and disrespectful in her manner, and with so much knowledge and intelligence, she would intimidate them. She would inevitably have ended up alone, for they would have either put her on a pedestal and worshiped her as a minor-kami, which, she technically could be considered, or conversely, called her a dark miko in league with Sosa or other dark powers and put her to death.

But he – oh he would find her fascinating, beautiful, intelligent and perfect, if it came down to that. He would worship her, but it would be in a different way than any other – it would be in a way that she could reciprocate, a way that only true lovers could worship each other.

And they would never have to fear losing each other – for while normal youkai could be killed, he could not. It was part and parcel of protecting her – he couldn't protect her if he was dead. And so the kami had made him just as immortal as she now was, and they would face down eternity together...

With a love that was just as eternal. He knew it... now how to tell her the same?

Kagome, enjoying the flight as she was, could not help the hollow feeling that had invaded her insides. Now that her last self-imposed task was finished, what would she do?

She hadn't really thought about it until now, with the fugue that she had been in, but the fact that she was now eternal was suddenly very frightening; to watch everyone you know and love fade away through time until you didn't even remember them for the passage of millenia dimming the past in your mind? How could she possibly withstand that? To be alone... and never find love? For what man would love a woman who would never age, never die? She would be shied away from, feared, and would spend eternity alone. Her heart pounded with fear and she clutched her chest in pain...

And then everything stopped. For it wasn't true, was it? For the first time since the moment Inuyasha had forsaken her, she stopped and took a look at what the gods had done – they had given her not only a companion, but one who was now as eternal as she was. And she knew herself well – she already was attracted to him, found him honorable and intelligent and so damn caring that it took her breath away – she knew that she would love him. How could she not? She knew herself too well – she loved far too easily. And not only was he perfect – in her eyes, anyway – but he would also be the only one who would not leave her as the sands of time slipped through her fingers. With such perfection and proximity, it was a certainty.

That realization pushed the fear back and her heartbeat slowed; but the thought also came to her then that there was no guarantee that he would feel the same. In fact, why would he? She was nothing special, and Inuyasha had hammered that knowledge into her psyche indelibly – for who could love someone so plain and ordinary? He would probably come to feel a passing affection for her, probably as one would feel for a grown child. And she could never hold him to her side using the vow as an excuse... he had said once that if he found love again, he would embrace it, and she had to let him know now that she would never stand in his way should he find someone to love. She would simply fade into the background and bury herself and her heart in a dusty, unused corner of the mansion. 

It seemed that to fade into the background, forgotten, was her fate in life. That thought wrenched a desperately unhappy chuckle from her throat. How ironic.

They were coming in to land at the estate when Mattaki heard that broken sound from her, and it hurt to hear such from someone as lovely, inside and out, as she was. He had originally been aiming for the courtyard, but now he turned and landed instead in the gardens, far from anyone else, far from interruption.

He held her until she was steady on her feet, and then reluctantly let go, watching with a concerned frown as she stepped away and looked down, rubbing her arms as though cold.

“Is something wrong, Kagome?” he finally asked, since she did not seem inclined to speak, but yet it felt like she had something she needed to say.

“Oh, uhm, I was just thinking, I guess. Now that's done... I kind of feel empty, you know? I suddenly find that I have eternity – but what will I do with it? Humans weren't meant for forever,” she sighed sadly. “We don't have the capability to think in an endless cycle of time. Our minds aren't made to understand forever, it's a concept that's beyond our comprehension. But...” she trailed off at his understanding look for a moment, and then cleared her throat and continued bravely, “I just wanted to say that even though you got stuck babysitting me, I don't want you to feel tied down in any way. I'll stay quietly out of the way, and if you find someone, you know, that you'd like to be with, I won't get in the way.”

There were two layers of fear in her statement. First off, she was wondering what one does with forever on their hands. And it was a good question, but it wasn't one he could answer, because even though youkai were very long lived barring combat or other injuries, they weren't normally eternal. It was something they'd find out together. The second fear, however...

“There is no need for you to think of hiding yourself away in some dusty corner of the estate, Kagome,” he said, a small smile on his face. “For while I will not deny that I am eager for love to come to me, in truth, it already partially has, but not in the form of some stranger. Did you not think I would come to love you? It will happen sooner or later, and probably sooner, as I'm already halfway there.” He eyed her confounded look with sad eyes. “Did my son abuse your heart so badly that he made you think yourself unlovable? Rid your mind of that fear, Kagome.” He paused, then said, “Did you know that the way we are bound together is just like the mating bonds of youkai? We bind ourselves together through life. Is that not what the gods have done for us?”

At that, Kagome's face crumpled as she thought that she understood what he was saying. “But that's not what I want, Mattaki,” she whispered miserably. “You don't have to take me because you feel that you're basically stuck with me. I would never force you to take me as a, a mate,” she choked out, “just because I'm going to be around forever. My presence doesn't rule out you finding someone else, you know.”

“Even were that my reasoning, Kagome, do you really think I would want to take someone else as a mate, that I would only have to watch die, since they would not be immortal as I am now?” he asked. “But even though it does seem that we are being forced to be together as a last resort, that isn't how I see it. You are perfect for me. You couldn't be any more perfect for me than if the kami had taken orders from me and made you to my specifications. I think that the kami – or at least some of them,” he chuckled, “knew that we would be perfect for each other, and that was the _true_ reason they brought me back, rather than binding you to Sesshoumaru. But even if that is not so, still, that does not change that I think you are perfect.”

Eyes huge in her little face, Kagome stared at him. Perfect? How was that possible? If even Inuyasha couldn't find anything in her worth loving, why would this _truly_ perfect youkai do so?

“Uhm... perfect?” she squeaked. “You can't mea-” 

“But I do,” he cut her off. “Your intelligence, your knowledge - while others would be intimidated by your mind, I am not. I am probably the only one, with the possible exception of my son, who would not be in this era, or I think many more, until we get to your own. The conversations we will have! My blood heats just at the thought. Your gentle heart makes me want to protect it just as fiercely as I will protect your body. And speaking of bodies... you are beautiful, Kagome. In some ways, one of the most beautiful women I've known, because your open heart so caring towards all makes you glow, little one.”

She shook her head, amazed at his words. Everything that she thought about herself was diametrically opposed to what he was saying. She just couldn't believe...

He interrupted her negative thoughts, not allowing her to get started, for he knew they would only degenerate into blacker thoughts than ever if he did.

“I will risk your anger, little one, in admitting something. But I need to tell you what I think of you – how attractive I think you. When we were here the first time – and you were soaking in the bath? You fell asleep, and I did not know you were there.” He eyed her rapidly reddening cheeks. “I very much adored what I saw, though it was unintentional. I would never deliberately violate your privacy, you know. But it happened, and what I saw... I had a very difficult time that night containing my desire.”

Cheeks still red, Kagome couldn't really get angry at him. It wasn't his fault she'd fallen asleep in the hot water. But that he liked what he'd seen... “But it's probably only since it has been awhile-” she blushed even harder and squirmed uncomfortably under his interested gaze, “-since you've, you know, been with someone. I'm sure if you looked around, you could find someone that would be glad to be with you... someone more suited to you – like another youkai female.”

He blinked. “I think you mistake me for my son, Kagome. Sesshoumaru is the one that cares whether a prospective attachment is youkai or not. But I will admit, after I saw you that way, I considered doing so. After all, you were still grieving, and it is not as if you would have welcomed any advances on my part. But... I could not. Because it was not just release I sought, from any available female. It was _you_ that I desired, and I consider it dishonorable to take desire for one woman out on another. Not that I could have, anyway – the thought of taking another left me cold, my body asleep once more. So I chose to wait. For you.”

Despite the fact that she was literally squirming with embarrassment over even having this conversation, and couldn't understand at all why he would find her so attractive, it did ease her fear. At least, a little... “Even so,” she murmured, “you may change your mind one day. Grow tired of me. After all, forever's a long time.”

He minced no words. “And the same could be said of you. You may one day tire of me, too, ne?”

“Oh, but I wouldn't!” she blurted, slapping her hand over her mouth and looking surprised that had come out. And then she sighed, and dropped it, shrugging awkwardly. “No, I wouldn't do that. I... guess I don't have the same gene that males do... always looking for the new, and exciting. The next big thing. I want the stable, the familiar. So being with one person...” she blushed, then finished softly, “well, that's all I could ever want.”

“And can you not trust me to know myself as well, Kagome? I know that you have not had a very good time with your first foray into a - slightly, I must say -  more adult love, but I am not my son, and I'm a great deal older than he. I know myself, and what I want, very well.”

Raising a hand to grip her elbow, she smiled a little and turned to stare out over the darkening garden as dusk approached, and then lowered her head and nodded. “Hai. You are right. You are not Inuyasha, and I should not expect you to act as he did. I'm... sorry.”

He nodded as he watched her, so bashful and shy, and he couldn't help but chuckle; he knew that in the decades to come he would look back on these first days with her with fond remembrance for her blushes and difficulty in meeting his eye. She would change, he knew, as the years went by and she healed and found her confidence. And that would be very attractive to him, but he would always remember her as she was now – sweet and uncertain and oh, so very afraid to gift her heart to him, and yet willing to try. The days of her baby steps as she slowly learned to trust him, to love him, to let go. The days of their courtship.

Sighing, he smiled ruefully at her. “Well, I am glad that we have gotten that over with. Are you ready to go in and perhaps soak in some hot water while I take care of making sure that dinner is readied?”

She looked up at him. “Sure,” she shrugged. A frown furrowed her brow. “Anyway, I wanted to ask before and forgot... where did that oddly sweet smelling hot spring come from, anyway? This really isn't the area that those kind of things are found.”

“Eh? Oh, the hot spring? Well, I made it myself, of course,” he replied as he escorted her still blushing form inside.

She blinked. “Made?”

“Yes. It's not really very difficult.”

“Oh... yeah, I remember now, even Jaken made one one time. I forgot about that.”

“Jaken? Why would my son's little rat be making hot springs?” Mattaki asked as they entered a side door into the main part of the shiro.

Kagome giggled at the memory, a little sadly. “Oh, it was his idea to steal Tessaiga from Inuyasha to give it to Sesshoumaru. That was back when he was still set on getting it from Inuyasha.”

“How did creating a hot spring help him attempt to steal the sword?” he asked, a little confused.

“Well, while Inuyasha and Miroku were soaking, the plan was for Jaken to sneak in and grab it, then run like hell.”

“Ah. You know, I really should have a word with Sesshoumaru about all of that. Did he really keep trying to get the sword from Inuyasha, even after his first failure?” he asked.

“Oh, yes. He tried for a while. But I think the whole idea of Inuyasha going under to his youkai blood and losing it rather scared him, so he decided after a time to let it alone,” she replied absently as they neared her door, her thoughts already on her bath. It had, after all, been a long day... especially emotionally.

Mattaki chuckled inwardly to himself at her blatant desire for hot water. She loved water more than anyone he knew. Leading her to her door, he slid it open and then placed a hand on her arm. 

“I will send in a servant to let you know when dinner is ready.”

She nodded and started to turn, but Mattaki pulled her back and gently lowered his head down to hers, smiling a little at her suddenly wide eyes and instantly red cheeks. But he didn't stop, and that was how Kagome lost her first kiss to Mattaki; with wide eyes meeting the laughter and soft affection in his before they drifted shut at the soft press of lips, and the lingering pressure as he rubbed gently along hers for several seconds before pressing again, his lips just slightly opened to nip at her bottom lip. She gasped, but he didn't press, lifting his head though his instincts screamed at him to smile softly at her. She tasted just as sweet as she looked. With a reluctant sigh, he turned her stunned form around and then gave her a little push.

“I will see you in a little while, Kagome, but in the meantime, enjoy your bath.”

With that he walked away, leaving a stunned little miko behind him.

_A little premature, perhaps, but oh, so worth it..._

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

Kagome barely even noticed her bath, her mind instead stuck on her first _true_ kiss. Sure, she'd kissed Inuyasha in desperation that one time in Kaguya's palace, but it hadn't been a true kiss in the erotic, adult sense. It had been an innocent meeting of lips, and nothing more. This... was _not_ the same thing as that at _all._

Even though this had been just as technically chaste, with a mere meeting of lips and nothing more, still, it was light worlds away from that other kiss that she had instigated with Inuyasha. This one, after all, had been instigated by Mattaki – he had been the one coming to her. That made it entirely different. On top of that, she could feel the desire in him, though he didn't push it. This kiss had let her know, however, that it was there, and that he _was_ holding back – for her sake.

She touched her finger to her lips and sighed softly, her eyes still dazed. _So that's what it's supposed to feel like to be kissed by someone you're –_ she blushed – _sexually attracted to. I never felt that way with... Inuyasha._ It came to her in that moment that her feelings for the hanyou had been the innocent love of a child, with no adult attraction behind it. Stunned, she realized that it would never have withstood the test of time – they were not meant to be. She would always love him, but she knew now – it was the soft, affectionate love of a friend, a sister. Not the powerful, romantic love of a partner, a lover, a... _mate_.

That realization kept her thoughtful and, truthfully, stunned for some time, even through part of dinner. All that time she'd grieved for her broken heart, only to find that her heart _wasn't_ broken – not even a little bit. Yes, the hurt he'd given her heart with his misuse of it was still there and valid, but she realized that it would be much worse to go through the same with a real love, a _true_ love. And sure, her heart grieved for his death, but it wasn't grieving for the loss of its innocence. She was shocked at how much weight that realization lifted from her shoulders. Yes, he had been her first love, a puppy love, as funny as that sounded in this particular situation, but it wasn't a _real_ love. And now she was free to learn what real love was – what _adult_ love was, because she was no longer a child. Separated from her family and her era, she was alone and responsible for herself and her decisions, and was now answerable to no one for the decisions of her heart but herself.

It was a heady feeling.

But... in some ways she also felt very intimidated. Mattaki was definitely an adult male who was _very_ experienced and knew exactly what he wanted – which was apparently her, for now, at least – and she was a virgin. A rather scared virgin. But she wasn't too innocent to know that she was not going to get away. And truthfully, she couldn't run from adult love forever – sooner or later she would lose her virginity. The question here really was... who did she want to give it to? 

It wasn't like she wasn't attracted to Mattaki, because as scary as this all seemed, she still wasn't going to lie to herself and deny what she knew full well her body was telling her. 

_I suppose... really, why am I so worried about it? There's certainly plenty of time to let things play out as they will,_ she thought almost acidly to herself. It wasn't as if either of them were going anywhere. 

That thought actually calmed her down, and even more as she remembered something he'd said about becoming involved with anyone else but her. He'd said that he found the idea totally unappealing, since he'd eventually outlive them and have to deal with a painful loss at the end of it all. Why bother with that when he had a ready-made companion that was just as immortal, and one he was already attracted to in more than one way, anyway?

_So... what does he really see me as? A convenient bed warmer, since I'll always be there? Or something more?_

“What furrows your brow so deeply, little hana?” came a voice that startled her so badly she almost fell over. She'd been so far in her thoughts that she'd forgotten the presence of the very male she'd been thinking so hard about. Heart beating a frantic tattoo against her ribs, she sat still for a moment trying to regain her composure, a scolding reminder to pay attention to her surroundings running through her mind. She could feel the mystified amusement coming from Mattaki, and after she calmed down, she looked up at him.

“Please don't do that again, Mattaki, you almost gave me a heart attack!” she said reproachfully, and he tilted his head, still amused, but also just as confused.

“Heart... attack?”

She sighed. “It's a future term used by doctor's... erm, healers in my birth time. It just means that something is wrong with the heart – it's beating dangerously fast for one of many possible reasons. In this case, because you scared me so badly.”

He blinked at that. “Are you telling me that humans can be... _scared_ to death?” he asked, a bit incredulous at that. _Are humans truly so frail that even something so silly could kill them?_

“Well, not most of the time, really. For some, maybe. Older people that are not as strong anymore. What I said was just a phrase, a saying. 'You scared me to death', indicating that you frightened or startled the person quite badly.”

“Ah,” he nodded understandingly. “Still, you didn't answer my question. What were you thinking about so deeply that I was able to... scare you to death?” He watched as a light blush kissed her cheeks, adoring the gentle color that only enhanced the blue of her eyes.

“Uh, well... I, I was just thinking about, you know, what we talked about earlier,” she finally admitted, not able to meet his gaze - his wryly affectionate gaze, if she had seen it and been able to interpret it correctly.

“And what were your thoughts on what we discussed?” 

It was silent for several minutes as Mattaki watched her gather her courage, and her thoughts. _She is one of the most shy females I've ever known when it comes to topics such as these. And I would have thought it would be different, with her coming from a world so far in the future. Even Izayoi wasn't this timid._

Finally, she inhaled deeply and said, “You mentioned that the way we're bound is kind of like a... a … mating bond.” He nodded, so, _so_ amused and enchanted at the wavering voice she was trying so hard to control. “What... well, what I mean is, what does that mean? What's a... mate?”

His eyes softened as he took in the vulnerable curve of her cheek as her lashes lay like charcoal smudges against rosy cheeks. She truly was so soft and delicate inside, her heart just healing from the beating it had taken.

_I shall have to take great care with her... always, for her heart and her soul are the most fragile parts of her, and have already been so abused; I could never wish to hurt her any further._

After a moment, he said softly, “A mate is an animal based youkai's other half. It is not so different than the lower mortal animals. Except that where different species of common animals have different mating instincts when it comes to one or many partners, a youkai takes only one, unless his or her mate dies. Then, if they choose, they can take another, though most do not. We are serial monogamists, you could say – at least, we are once we take a mate.”

Something he said pulled her attention in a slightly different direction. “Animal based youkai? Do you mean to say that other youkai are different?”

“They are,” he replied. “But that is a discussion for a little later, perhaps. Let us finish this one, Kagome.”

“So... Izayoi? You said once that she was your wife...?”

He knew immediately what she was asking, and though his past with his former wife was a rather private matter for him, this question at least, she deserved an answer to, since he was basically asking her to accept him as her alpha... her mate, in the youkai fashion.

“Izayoi was my wife. She was not my mate.” He hesitated, then continued slowly, softly. “For a true mating, both halves of the couple must have... power of some sort or another. The binding cannot be completed without it, and Izayoi had no power of her own.”

“Oh.” She looked away, fidgeting in her seat. “I'm sorry,” she offered faintly. “That must have hurt – knowing that you would have to say goodbye someday.” Clearing her throat, she showed her empathic side clearly when she changed the subject, leaving his memories of his wife alone – at least, directly. Izayoi couldn't be completely removed from things, since she was a part of his past that in some ways would effect his future – at least, in Kagome's view, anyway. 

“I guess... I'm not sure what you want from me for certain,” she finally said. “I... can't replace your past love for you, I hope you understand that, and I _won't_ put myself through something like that again.” She looked up at him, then, almost fiercely meeting his gaze, quite surprising him, determined to be one hundred percent sure of where she stood. “That's what Inuyasha did to me, and... in a way, I'm reluctant to let myself get... emotionally or p-physically involved with someone who's already had some grand love they lost to time and the past. It hurts to always come in second behind another, and realize that's all the good you'll ever be to the one who is first in your _own_ heart. So... so I need to know what you want. So I can decide for sure that I can... live with it and not lose too much of myself to the damage that comes with always wondering if you're comparing me to what you lost. A-and you,” she stuttered out, forcing herself to get it all out in the open, “you have to be sure that you can be satisfied with... with someone who isn't your former wife. I'm no elegant hime, beautiful and graceful – I'm a lost vagabond with nothing to my name, and not much to my looks, either.”

Suddenly losing her courage, she blushed heavily and ducked her head, a phantom of Kikyou suddenly jeering at her and causing her to doubt herself completely; everything he'd said earlier simply seeming too good to be true. How could she ever compare to his former wife? She hadn't even been able to compare to a peasant miko. She sighed dejectedly into the heavy silence.

“N-never mind,” she said softly as she made to get to her feet and leave the room, no longer able to even stomach the idea of eating anything more. “Maybe we should just leave it and stay as friends... I'm _good_ at being _friends_ ,” she finished, her slightly bitter emphasis on the word friends not being missed by the stunned and saddened daiyoukai.

_Did he really break your spirit down so deeply inside that you cannot heal, little one?_

In that moment, watching the sweet young woman he was rapidly developing very deep, strong feelings for leaving the room with such misery in her aura, he almost hated his own son – the son he'd never even met.

He stood and swiftly followed her, not willing to let this go. It had to be settled now, and he was going to do just that.

“Kagome, stop,” he said as he reached the entrance to the room just behind her. The authority in his voice seemed to freeze her. “Did you forget everything I spent the time after we returned home telling you?”

Something in his voice seemed to needle her; she spun on him, almost angry. “No. But I'm tired of being a second-hand _toy_ for Taisho males! The very fact that you're reluctant to speak of your wife proves that she still owns your heart – Inuyasha was the same way with Kikyou. So once again, I would be settling for whatever _leftovers_ you had to give,” she said scornfully. “This time... I'm just not willing to play second fiddle to another woman that's better than me in every way imaginable. Please... at least respect me as a person enough to not ask something like that from me.” Her last words had lost her previous fire and turned desperately pleading; it was clear to Mattaki that this was an extremely painful subject for her.

“Did we not already agree that I am not my son? Have you already forgotten my words to you before we left your former village on the subject of love, and my idea of it? I've told you in several ways already that while my past with my wife will always be remembered with affection, that it would not affect my present and future? Love is precious, and never the same if you are lucky to find it more than once, and I would never poison my own future by pretending that it was my past, or the same as it.”

Shaking her head, she whispered, “Words,” and then continued to head towards the doors to the outside of the palace.

At that, he grabbed ahold of her arm and pulled her outside into the garden, not wishing their 'discussion' to be overheard by the so-far missing Myouga or any of his servants.

When they reached a small open patch in the exact center of the garden, he gently pushed her down, frowning when she just folded up into herself and didn't even try to resist. After a moment of staring down at her sable crown, he sat down facing her, so close their knees were touching.

For the moment he let her hide her thoughts and herself by keeping her gaze pinned on her lap.

After a short silence, he said, “In a few hundred years or so you will begin to understand fully what I'm about to tell you.” That conversational gambit seemed to startle her; wide eyes slid up a little to meet his questioningly. “When I think of my wife, do you remember what I remember most? Her smile. It has been several hundred years since I have seen her, and I have spent most of that time dead. What I remember of her is not enough to leave me anything to _compare_ you against. Physically, I remember very little, it's all blurred with immense spans of time – and death. So... to put it bluntly, as it seems I must, when I touch you, mate you, there will be nothing left in my memory for there to be any of these _comparisons_ you seem to think I will be making. You will be all that resides in my mind as my present and future.”

Stunned and completely embarrassed at what he'd just said, she blinked, and then actually thought about it. _So... so he does want to mate me._ She shivered. _Well, I asked him to tell me what he wanted,_ she thought, putting her hands to her flaming cheeks, _but I wasn't expecting him to be so blunt – and cocksure._ _When_ _, he says, like it's a foregone conclusion. I shouldn't be so surprised at that bit of arrogance, though – look at who his sons are. They had to get it from somewhere._

She didn't realize she'd said that aloud until Mattaki laughed. “It _is_ a foregone conclusion, Kagome, no matter how long you play coy. And I am not arrogant – arrogance is _undeserved_ pride. My pride is thoroughly deserved.”

And with that outrageous statement, she slowly stood up after picking her jaw up from the ground, fists clenched, annoyance fairly dripping from her and her earlier angst momentarily forgotten. Teeth gritted, she ground out, “With that attitude, it's going to be several _more_ centuries before you see that 'foregone conclusion' you seem convinced actually _is_ , do you get me?” Then she turned on her heel and stomped off. He couldn't help but laugh as she stormed away... deeply pleased to have erased some of her concerns, as he knew he had.

 _Patience,_ he once more cautioned himself as he stood up to follow her in from the garden. _Slow and steady wins the race!_



_Perhaps I should corner Myouga and have him tell me exactly how my son treated her. There is obviously very deep damage there. But I have no idea exactly how their relationship – or what there was of it – went. If I want to help her heal from the fears it left in her, I need to know what they are._

Not even trying to hunt him down, as that could take days, he swelled his aura with demand, and went into a sitting room to wait for the little bug to observe the summons.

It wasn't too long, really, before he felt the tiny youki of his nomi servant, and pulsed his aura just enough to knock the little bloodsucker back – he was trying again to sneak up on him. The flea should have known better than that by this time, but he always tried anyway.

He sighed. “Come, Myouga, you know better. Now, attend me.” He waited for him to pick himself up and make his way to his hand, which was held out for him to settle on. Once he was there, he spoke. “I want you to tell me how Inuyasha treated Kagome. Everything you observed. I find myself wanting to know exactly why she's so damaged.”

That request made Myouga sigh. “That... is a long story – and not a very nice one, either,” he said, shaking his tiny head. “I am sad to say that Master Inuyasha did not often treat her very well, though I think he did care about her, in a rather distant way, anyway. To be perfectly honest, though, he was most often cruel to her. He constantly derided her and compared her unfavorably to Kikyou, calling her stupid, worthless, useless and helpless on a near daily basis,” he said, shrinking a little as Mattaki's youki rose in anger and his eyes reddened.

“Continue,” he growled, obviously wishing that he could get his hands on his son and beat him severely.

“He would call her clumsy and ugly and unlovable, and repeatedly ran off the moment the undead miko appeared in the area, often leaving Kagome-sama and his friends in danger. There was one time... Miroku told me of it later, when Inuyasha thought Kikyou dead, Naraku used that against him and drew him away with a rumor of her survival. Kagome-sama... well, let's just say it was a close call.”

A deep growl echoed through the room signifying great danger; for the first time in his long life, he actually wished that he could speak to the kami. He knew they'd planned some sort of punishment for the boy, but he wanted to get his hands on him more than almost anything he'd ever wanted. What that boy needed more than anything in the world was a good beating – or two, or twenty.

Stunning Mattaki from his temper, a dangerous power suddenly filled the room, and he was once again in the presence of one – or more - of the kami. Submitting immediately, he awaited the pleasure of the gods, and wondered what they wished to say.

He didn't wait long.

“You were correct in thinking that we would punish him. He has been sent into eternal darkness, in a similar fashion as what the priestess Kikyou did when she originally sealed him to the Goshinboku.” There was a pause, and then the voice came again. “But there are those among us that find it... an amusing idea to place the son in the care of his father, so that _you_ may punish him. After all, as Omoikane has mentioned to us all, he was already sealed away in darkness, alone without hope of redemption, and it did nothing to change his foolish, selfish temperament. Perhaps a great deal of pain at the hands of his father might succeed where sealing has failed.”

“I cannot deny that I truly wish to get my hands on him – but there is also this,” he said reluctantly, “for Kagome to be faced with him again, it may be... counterproductive to her healing.”

Again, the voice of the gods filled the room. “No. The bond she wished to share with your hanyou son will never come to be. Her hope for such is beyond redemption,and she has lost the desire for such a thing already, her heart no longer being fooled by the love she holds for him. While she has forgiven him, and loves him with the softness of family, she has not _forgotten_ what he did to her _._ Still, some of us are hesitant to release him from what we originally chose. Let us think on this, discuss it amongst ourselves. Whatever the decision, we will give you word of it.”

With that, the room cleared of the ominous power of the kami, and Mattaki let out an explosive breath. It was always overwhelming to be in the presence of those so far above even him, and it humbled him for a moment as he felt the trembling, tiny youki of his nomi servant and friend. For he imagined that as it was for him to be confronted with the gods, it was probably similar for Myouga to be faced with _his_ heightened youki. Perhaps he should apologize to his tiny friend for never thinking of it.

And then the implications of the kami's visit sank in, and he sincerely hoped they decided to return Inuyasha, going against their original decision regarding him. For the boy to simply languish in death was really no punishment. He clearly remembered the embrace of death, and while it was not something he wished to experience again, it hadn't been bad. It was much as being asleep without being able to awaken.

That was truly nothing compared to what was awaiting the boy should the kami decide to return him to life, and Mattaki cracked his knuckles in anticipation. 

Deep down, though, beneath his admittedly righteous anger, was the hope that he could straighten that son of his out, and then get the chance to know him, as he'd never had before. And... one other, final thought came to him, then – his former wife would have been devastated by her son's fate, and were he to regain Inuyasha's life, and chance at a normal death later on where he could be reunited with her, she would be happy.

Dead or not, he always wanted her to be content, not suffering. She in no way deserved that.

But he would not give up the boy's discipline and punishment if he were to be allowed to return, either, despite his mother's soft heart – he deserved to be punished for his treatment of Kagome. _Greatly._

With a sigh, he slipped out of the room, allowing Myouga to go off and regain his little equilibrium after such a visit. After all, he needed to do the same, and suddenly, hot water and then his bed sounded very good.

But the moment he stepped into the bathing room, he wanted to kill something, for just like the first time, a certain female was laid out asleep in the hot water.

For just a moment, he pondered retreating and sending a servant in to awake her as he'd done before, but then he decided, “To hell with it.” And he stalked forward, stripping himself as he went and sliding into the water so smoothly that there was almost no movement to warn the dozing young woman laid so exquisitely out before him of his presence.

Soft lips parted sweetly in sleep were easily made out as he approached her, and with an inward groan that would have rumbled through the room were it to escape him, he leaned down and captured those beckoning lips, wasting no time in taking this kiss much deeper than he had their first.

He was completely aware of the moment she awoke; she reached up and clutched at his shoulders in shock as his mouth delved passionately within hers. Oddly enough, resisting never occurred to her. He had truly caught her in a vulnerable moment, but she, also, had caught him in one, too, for he had not expected to see her in such a way again, and after all, he was all male, and could only stand so much provocation.

Especially when the provocation was so beautiful – and completely naked.

She still hadn't resisted him, and thinking went out the door as he slid his arms around her and pulled her to him. The moment that her body made contact with his, though, her eyes opened and she pulled away in shock at the feel of an aroused male pressing himself against her so boldly. 

“W-what are you d-doing in here, Mattaki? Why are you here?” she quavered, her wide eyes staring at him in fear. It wasn't a normal fear, though, and he could scent that – it was a virginal fear. She'd never been where they were right now. He liked that, if the truth were to be told – that she had never known another. Her innocence was a siren's call to him. It made him want her even more, to take her innocence and sweetness and wrap himself in them forever. The very idea of it made a shiver run up his spine.

“What do you expect from me, Kagome, when faced with such a temptation?” he groaned. “I am not a god with perfect control – and especially not when the female that is laying naked and sweetly asleep in my bath is one that I desperately desire and have such strong feelings for.” He shuddered as she shifted against him, unknowingly pressing against his maleness, and once more pulled her face back and lowered his head to kiss her again.

Her eyes remained open and staring into his the entire time he was moving closer, as though she were frozen and unable to move. And her heart began beating so hard she thought it was going to burst right through her chest when she saw the depths of the passion in his eyes. _He's looking at..._ _me_ _like that?_ She was so _puzzled_ by his seemingly powerful desire for her.It was just so hard to believe that this male, who was so much more dangerous to the female of the species than Inuyasha or Kouga or even her old schoolfriend Houjo could ever be, could want her. _He was looking at her_ like she was the center of his world, the most beautiful thing that he had ever seen.

And then he reached her lips and once more took them over, and her eyes fell closed in submission, though his eyes remained open. He was so completely captivated at her taste and as her lashes fluttered almost helplessly against her cheeks like a trapped butterfly's would, and she let out the tiniest, most breathlessly hesitant moan he'd ever heard. He could feel himself tightening more than he could ever remember, and it hurt more than he had ever experienced, causing him to grind himself against her in hopes of relieving the pain. She was beautiful, delicate, yet so deceptively strong, loving, and so _full_ of trapped passion that was just waiting to explode... and _he_ _just had to have her._

His hands, which to that point had been wrapped around her waist, began to move and explore, even as he took the kiss deeper, barely letting her breathe before he was taking her again. One hand traveled up and tangled itself in her damp locks, pulling on them and tilting her head back as she finally ripped her mouth from his, almost ready to pass out from lack of air. As her vulnerable throat was exposed he growled low in his chest, a rumbling sound that startled a gasp from her kiss-swollen lips that immediately pulled him in, and he attacked the sweet flesh of her throat, nipping with his fangs and then licking behind to soothe the faint red marks.

By this time Kagome was out of her head, and almost ready to just give in and let him have her. After all, they would never be apart from each other again, and since he kept swearing that he wasn't ever going to choose another, the wanton side that lived in every woman and had just been awoken in her was ready to submit to him, ready to throttle the voice of caution from her still frightened inner self. 

And yet in the end, it wasn't she who pulled away – it was Mattaki. Because although he was fairly certain at that point that he could take her to his bed and have her now – she wasn't truly ready. Not after everything that had been said between them earlier, and not after everything he'd been told by Myouga. She needed someone to undo the damage done to her, and he was more than willing to take on the responsibility – and it had nothing to do with the fact that it was his son that had caused the problem in the first place. There were many things he was willing to do for honor – but bedding a female because his son had emotionally harmed her wasn't one of them. No, the task of helping her and loving her enough to heal her was one he would take on _because he wanted to._

And so... regretfully, so, so regretfully, he slowed the ascending passion, and soothed the girl's desires back into sleep, gentling her as he caressed her back softly and nuzzled into her neck. And though she responded to his retreat, letting out a sigh that he knew full well was equal parts regret and relief, he knew that those same desires weren't truly sleeping any longer – they were only dozing and it was only a matter of time before they would demand to be satisfied. Before _she_ would demand to be satisfied.

He would be exquisitely happy to answer that demand, when it came, when she was ready.

Once her racing heart had calmed and her breathing also, he pulled away and gently settled her back into the water. Meeting eyes that were soft and vulnerable and questioning, he smiled a little.

“You aren't ready for any more than that, Kagome. And while it is all I can do not to take you to my bed right now, I will not do it until it is what we both want – with no hesitation, no doubts.” He reached out and drew a gentle finger down her cheek, his claws retracted* carefully away from her delicate skin. “But please, for my sake... do not tempt me so? When you are using the baths, leave a small lantern, like the extra one in your room, lit near the shoji so that I know you are there and so am not drawn in only to view such a sweet temptation as you, laying bared and soft with sleep in steaming water to torment me.”

Not knowing what to say, she simply nodded, staring up at him with so many emotions in her eyes that he could have stayed and read them for an hour. Instead, he forced himself to turn and step out of the water, walking swiftly to his door and going inside to wait until she was finished. All the while, he was smiling, just a bit – he knew that though she'd turned away when he'd exited the water without bothering with a toweling cloth, she hadn't turned away before _looking_.

From the indrawn breath and intensifying arousal, he knew she'd enjoyed what she'd seen – and that she was probably as red as his son's fire rat attire, as well.

While it was truly one of the most difficult things he'd ever done, walking away from her as he had, he knew it was the only thing he could have done, too. When he finally took her, it would be because _she_ had come to him and demanded that he fulfill their desires. Only then would he join himself to her permanently, blending their lives in a way even the kami could not.

It would take some little time, but time was something he could give her, though it was not easy on him, it was necessary. But Inuyasha had better pray that the kami did not in the end choose to return him to life to face him. Because if they did, the boy would soon be begging to let the kami punish him, instead.

Mattaki grinned at the thought; a grin full of deadly fangs and malicious amusement.

In that moment, he looked exactly what he was...

A dangerous predator.

~oOo~

By the time Kagome had dried off, dressed, and returned to her room, she was shivering in shocked reaction to what had occurred between she and her kami-gifted protector. Never had she been the recipient of a grown man's passion, and the aftermath of the embrace, and then the withdrawal, had left her trembling and numb and her mind oddly empty.

_I..._

_Is it always like that?_ was the only thing she could finally drag out of her conscious mind.

Nothing she had ever seen could have been anywhere near what Mattaki had done to her body. She had read books, seen naughty manga, and even more, experienced the complete lack of modesty of an impossibly decadent society, where sex was everywhere and you couldn't turn on the tv without seeing what most every other country in the world would call pornography, yet her country simply called regular programming. And the internet was even more explicit with any kind of content you could wish to find with one click of a button.

But nothing she had ever seen on the internet or tv, read in books, or seen depicted in naughty manga, had prepared her in any way for those endless-seeming moments in the baths. She didn't think that anything ever could.

The intensity of it... when she'd met his eyes, she'd nearly been scalded; the passion, the sheer  _want_ burning in his eyes was enough to turn her to ashes with one touch.

How had it come to this? And so quickly, too? It had been weeks, weeks that were nowhere near long enough, in her opinion, to have become so entwined with each other. Because if that episode in the baths had proved one thing, it was that the desire was reciprocated on her part, untutored and innocent or not. Her body wanted his, _she_ wanted him. 

Didn't something like this take a long time to develop between two people?  _Shouldn't_ it take a long time? This wasn't a game, it was the most deadly serious thing she could think of. Surely time was needed to learn enough of each other to become so enamoured with each other. 

And then she sighed, and sank down on her soft, comfortable futon. Obviously not. She was quibbling over something that was already written in stone. Even though it  _should_ take a lot of time to develop feelings, and passion, need, desire, it didn't seem to need much, and there was little point in denying what was happening just because she felt as though it were too soon.

Suddenly, as she sat there contemplating things she was ill-equipped to deal with, a distant echo of her mother's voice washed over her, nearly bringing on a cascade of tears. But what that lovingly remembered voice was saying seemed to answer to her dilemma.

“ _Everything in life takes time, Kagome – except love. Love comes when it will. You have to reach out and grab it as soon as it comes to you, because if you don't, it can disappear just as fast, and you may never have another chance to capture it again. The gods won't keep throwing such gifts your way if you keep rejecting them, simply because it happened 'too fast'. I know you think you're in love with Inuyasha, honey, but you aren't. He doesn't inspire in you the passion and desire that are part and parcel of a real, adult love. Don't lose out on the chance for real love because you're chasing after a false hope with your eyes glued to it and capable of seeing nothing else. If you do, you'll be making the same mistake he is, and I don't want to see you throw yourself away over something that was never meant to be. Something that deep down, you don't even want to be.”_

She had come home from yet another shard hunt that ended in another of countless Kikyou episodes, frantic with pain and drowning in tears, and unable to keep it in any longer, she'd finally unloaded her grief on her mother. At the time, she'd been so upset with her mother's denial of her chances with Inuyasha – her insistence that she didn't love Inuyasha with an adult's love, that she hadn't spoken to her the rest of the night. She'd been angry at her mother's words... but it had been because her mother was telling her something that, deep down, she already knew, but didn't want to admit. She had spent so much time convincing herself that she loved him, that it was meant to be – surely, by drawing her five hundred years into the past to save him, the one her soul had loved in that past, meant that the kami were giving them a second chance!

But more fool her, because in the end, what she'd realized was that Inuyasha hadn't loved Kikyou, either. He'd only thought he had, and it came to her in that moment, that she had been doing the same thing he was doing. Insisting on a love that had never actually existed, and closing her eyes to anything else... just like he had done. In that moment, she laughed at herself. What else could she do?

_For god's sake... how much clearer could it have been? Neither one of them really loved each other... and I never loved Inuyasha, either. At least, not as a woman. I loved him as a little girl. A child's love. Oh, mama, I wish I could see you, to tell you how right you were._

_Inuyasha didn't break my heart... I did._

All of that aside, however, still didn't come close to preparing her to handle a male like Mattaki. He wore his name like an advertisement, and every bit of it was true, because he _was_ perfect, and she'd never met anyone who was perfect before, and had no idea how to deal with it now that she had.

_I suppose I'll have a very long time to learn, though,_ she chuckled tiredly to herself as her eyes fell closed and she allowed the tension of the day to drag her under into a deep, healing sleep.

Mental lessons now all learned, Kagome was a new woman, ready to meet tomorrow with a clean slate. 

Now, if only she could override the damage that Inuyasha had done to her self-esteem, and reach out and grab the gift that was Mattaki – before he gave up on her and began to look elsewhere.

That  _would_ break her heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Mattaki means perfect in Japanese. Also, my little asterisk above. I am well aware that dogs cannot retract their claws. But in my mind, anyway, inuyoukai would be able to do so – after all, they have to be able to do things that regular four legged mortal dogs don't. Retracting their claws if needed would be a necessary skill for a youkai that spends most of its time in human form, doing tasks that would often be difficult, if not impossible, with those claws getting in the way all the time. So, for the purposes of my fics, take it as read and please don't pm me complaining that I need to learn my facts about dogs, since they don't have retractable claws. If you all hadn't noticed, I'm not writing about regular old mortal dogs.
> 
> Amber


	6. Chapter 6

The next days were spent with a sort of tension between the two, a nervousness on the part of Kagome that kept things a little on edge in the mansion. It was a good thing that Myouga was there - his presence kept things from getting too tense.

Mattaki just managed to keep himself calm, knowing that Kagome was working herself through things and that if he kept himself from responding to her somewhat distant manner in a negative way, she would eventually calm down and her tension around him would ease.

So, as difficult as it was at times, he kept a pleasant manner despite her distance, keeping himself busy training. It had, after all, been a long time since he'd had a really good fight. In fact, he found himself wishing Sesshoumaru would stop by – a good spar would really warm him back up. 

He also suspected that at some point, Sesshomaru's mother would be showing her face, if only to sniff disdainfully at his 'new life'. And of course, he knew that some of Kagome's friends would also probably visit. He figured that would be the one thing that would calm her the best – and he found himself hoping one of them, at least, visited soon.

It seemed Shippo was the one destined to answer the voiceless call, as he just appeared on the palace steps one morning about a week and a half after the episode in the baths, confused to see where his mother figure was apparently living. He definitely hadn't expected to see her living in such a fine, richly appointed place, considering that her benefactor and protector had been dead until recently. How he'd come up with all the money needed for a place like this, Shippo really wanted to know, not that he was upset to see it – as far as he was concerned, Kagome only deserved the best of everything.

Ecstatic to see one of the people she cared so deeply about again, she dragged the weakly protesting kitsune indoors from where he'd just appeared on the palace steps chattering a mile a minute, insisting that he stay for a few days, at least. Tracking Mattaki down, she put the request to him. His answer made her blush.

“My dear, there is no need to ask me. As far as I am concerned, this is your home as much as mine. Invite whoever you wish,” he assured her, smiling at the blush on her cheeks at Shippo's suddenly assessing expression. It was clear that he was here to see how she was being taken care of – but that he hadn't expected the evident affection in the daiyoukai's gaze.

Smiling hurriedly at him, then rushing her young friend off, one who, truthfully, she saw as a son, Kagome tried desperately to distract Shippo from the questions in his eyes by asking about how his training was going. It didn't work. The moment she had shown him to a room where he could leave his small pack, he dragged _her_ back outside to the garden, then sat down and stubbornly ignored her efforts to talk about everything but her own life.

“Come on, Kagome! Something's going on, and I want to know what it is. I want to be sure you're safe, and all. Please, just tell me!”

She sighed, then looked down at fidgeting fingers. “What do you want me to tell you?”

“I could see the way he was looking at you, Kagome.” Shippo gave her his innocent look, the cute little expression she had never been able to resist before, and she couldn't now, either. And then when he knew he had her, it changed to a shockingly worldly one. “He'd better not be some prowling dog thinking he's gonna get a free... eh, heh, heh, err...” Shippo trailed off, cheeks reddening at the shocked expression on her face. “Well, you know what I mean!”

“Shippo!” she gasped, completely stunned at what he was insinuating – _and_ that he _was_ insinuating it. But then she thought about it... _Well, he_ _was_ _exposed to Miroku for a long, long, time. I suppose it warped all of us at least a little... Still..._ “I'll have you know that Mattaki's more honorable than that!” She blushed deeply and looked away again. “He... he said he wants... wants me to be his-” her voice suddenly became tiny, “-mate.”

The silence was palpable for several long seconds as Shippo took that in and thought about it as Kagome continued to fidget. After a few, though, he said, “Mate?” _very_ carefully, as though worried that to say it too loudly would change what she'd said.

She nodded, staring hard at her fingers. “Yeah.”

Shippo didn't know what to say to that at all, except, “Oh.”

When he didn't say anything else, she looked at him questioningly. “Aren't you going to carry on about how this is all so sudden and way too soon?” she asked, almost as if she was actually hoping he would.

He looked at her blankly and shook his head. “No... why would I do that?” He stared at her for a moment, and then thought he understood. “Oh. I remember some of the stuff you told us about courting in your time. You humans are really slow about that stuff, aren't you? But is all that beating around the bush really necessary?” he asked critically. “We youkai don't waste time – instinct tells us what we need to know, and when it does, we listen. We don't see the point in playing hard to get.”

“But... but... how can you know who you want as a lifelong mate without taking the time to get to know the person?” she wailed, frustrated. _How can they just accept things so quickly and easily? I know what mama said, but-_ in that moment, something occurred to her- _how can I trust_ _myself_ _about my feelings so soon?_

That was it. That was her whole problem with the situation in a nutshell – her trust in _herself_. She didn't trust herself or her heart any longer. After all, look what it had led her into when she'd listened to it before. 

Shippo piped up again, pulling her attention back to him. “Look... I remember the stuff you told us about people courting in your time. You said that they spent a few hours a seven-day together, ne?” When she nodded, he continued. “Okay, so in an entire lunar cycle, you would have only spent maybe two days together in full. Now, think about it. You're with Mattaki-sama all day, every day, for an entire lunar cycle. That's a lot more time together than your modern courting would have given you, okay? So... it's just different when you spend pretty much every waking moment with the person – your modern people would have to spend a year courting a few hours a seven-day to equal the entire single lunar cycle you spent with Mattaki. And you've spent more than that with him by now. When you're together all the time, it's just more intense. You can't judge our way against your way, Kagome, because they're too different.”

She blinked at him, totally startled at his insight into her problem, but her brow furrowed as she thought about it. It was true... she was much more involved with Mattaki, since they were together constantly. And according to him, Omoikane-kami-sama had deliberately put them together because he knew that they would love each other, so that they would not be lonely and unhappy with such vast amounts of time to live through. So... yes, things were moving faster, _in a way_ , than she was used to, but it was supposed to be that way. It was simply a more intense, close courtship than people in her time typically had.

Remembering something else, then, she thought back to something that her history teacher had pointed out once, and which she'd seen ample evidence of herself in her time here in the Sengoku Jidai, thanks to the unsettled era. In times of strife and war, love seemed to be achieved at a faster pace between couples than during times of peace and plenty. As her teacher had explained, sub-consciously, the mind knew that time could be short under those types of circumstances, and so sped up certain processes, courtship and love being two of those things. It was ultimately to bring about speedier procreation to assure the survival of the bloodline, but the why didn't matter to the end point – that being that the process was sped up.

So... even amongst humans, such things as courtship and love could be achieved faster than what people in her time, at least, considered normal, and be equally accepted by others around them. It was simply the way things were, because at the bottom, underneath all the higher learning and thought processes, humans were just as susceptible as youkai and even animals to the rhythms of life and their instincts for survival – which included procreation. Love was just a means of preserving the species, after all, by emotionally binding and encouraging certain pairs to procreate.

She sighed. _Am I really just being stubborn and silly over nothing? But..._

“Kagome... why are you so worried about this, anyway?” Shippo interrupted her thoughts again with his little voice, and she looked over at him questioningly. “Does it really matter how fast or slow it goes? From what I understand, you don't need to worry about time any longer, ne? So why don't you just... what was that thing you always said-” he tapped his paw against his cheek as he searched his memory, “-oh, yeah... go with the flow?”

She blinked at him, then blinked again, before slapping her hand to her forehead in frustration with herself. Kagome closed her eyes and shook her head, beginning to wonder about her intelligence. Had she _really_ just been forced to see the proverbial light – by a _nine your old_ kitsune child? In that moment, she felt utterly stupid.

Sighing again, she opened her eyes and dropped her hand, and Shippo giggled at the handprint on her forehead. She shook her head again, wryly amused at herself and at him, and suddenly very glad he was there.

“You're right, Shippo, and I'm going to do just that. I don't know why I'm so worried about it.”

The kitsune harrumphed and crossed his arms, suddenly glowering. “Feh. I do. It's because of that baka Inuyasha, that's why. I really wish the kami would make him come back so I could kick his a-” he looked at Kagome's suddenly threatening expression, and barely stopped himself, “-eh, heh... butt,” he finished weakly, wilting under her glower. But before she could reprimand him for talking like Inuyasha, Mattaki's deep, husky laughter was heard, and both turned to look at the hanyou's father as he made his way towards them.

“I heard that, young kit, and believe me, I have dearly wished the same. Perhaps the kami will hear us and grant our wish, eh?” he asked as he joined them in the circle of pine trees the two had found themselves under. He inhaled happily, taking in the fresh and wonderful scent of nature and especially pine. “I would also love to get my hands on that boy, for he needs a good beating – or twenty - as I believe I've thought before.”

Shippo grinned, suddenly liking the daiyoukai who'd fathered not only Inuyasha, but Sesshoumaru, a great deal more than he'd thought he would. That's why he'd been so suspicious in the beginning, the fact that he'd sired those two, but after hearing that he only wanted to love and protect Kagome, and was nothing like either of his sons, he was feeling a _lot_ happier. It made him wonder how he'd given rise to two such awful brats. Sesshoumaru, terrible and deadly with a chip on his shoulder as big as the lands he claimed as his, though lately he'd calmed some, and Inuyasha, an... well, frankly, an ass, as much as Kagome didn't want him saying such words. The hanyou really was an ass. No other word fit nearly as well.

“Well, I'd love to help, that's for sure,” the kitsune laughed mischievously, skipping out of Kagome's reach as she weakly attempted to bop him on the head in reprimand. 

“Both of you, behave. It's not nice to speak ill of the dead.”

Mattaki chuckled as Shippo scoffed. “Makes a difference when it's his own stupidity that got him killed. He just walked right into it, bein' a total baka and blind over that Kikyou, believin' her when she says, 'You have to go to hell with me',” he parroted sarcastically. “He deserves to be laughed at.”

Chuckling louder as Kagome growled, Mattaki settled a soothing hand on her back. “Calm down, my dear. As bad as it is, young Shippo is right. Inuyasha brought his fate on himself. I would say no different if he were standing before me right now. Death does not abrogate his wrongful actions towards you.”

Before Kagome could say a word, all three were startled by the presence of one with so much power that it stunned the minds of the living, and a voice said, “And that is why we members of the kami have finally agreed to take away the first punishment that we apportioned unto the one known as Inuyasha. He did not learn from his first experience with being sealed, and it is doubtful that he would learn from this one. Come the end of everything, when we wake up all those who have been punished so, he would be no closer to enlightenment even with all that time to ponder his mistakes. Perhaps giving him to you to punish would be a better solution, though only time will tell. Still, we have chosen to do this, since it is, after all, a father's prerogative to discipline and teach his children, and you were not given that chance with this child. Now you will have it. Do not disappoint us by wasting it, for it is not often we give second chances.”

The reactions between the three listening were quite different. For Mattaki, a deep sense of satisfaction settled in his chest at the thought of being able to get his hands on his son, and be the one to take out the price of Kagome's pain on him. He was soon smiling, a dangerous look on his face that had Kagome shivering.

Shippo was quite stunned at first, but then as he thought about it, he gained a smile that was almost the mirror image of the one on Mattaki's face. As far as he was concerned, Inuyasha deserved all the pain it appeared his daddy was about to hand out to him. And he would stay here visiting for some time to come, just to watch it happen, too.

Kagome was the only one of the three that was not completely happy with what was about to happen. Yes, it was nice that Inuyasha would get to live again, but the reason for it? So his father could punish him? _Then again, that_ _is_ _what parents do when necessary... and there's been plenty of times I've wished his parents raised him so he was brought up right. He raised himself, and that's the problem. But with that look on Mattaki's face..._

Resigned to the fact that she was going to once more be facing the one who'd used her so harshly and definitely not ready for it, she cautioned Mattaki as soon as the Kami fell silent, “Don't go overboard here, Mattaki. I don't want revenge for the things that happened between he and I.”

Mattaki opened his mouth to respond, when the Kami cut him off. “And yet, vengeance shall be had. Listen, our daughter. We are the ones that need it for his actions, Mattaki is merely the instrument that we will use to gain it. You are not to interfere with a father and his son's punishment. He must learn, Kagome, for if he does not, how much _more_ harm will he do to others?” The god looked knowingly down at her discomfited form. “You have already suffered at his hands – would you wish for anyone else to suffer the same – or worse, for his callousness?”

Unable to deny the god's words, she sighed, knowing that no matter how much she hated it, she couldn't go against the will of the kami. Maybe she should go away... stay with Miroku and Sango for a good long while...

“No, our daughter. Here is where you must stay. We did not grant you a protector only for you to leave him behind,” the kami answered her thoughts without pause as though such a thing was nothing out of the ordinary. “There are far more dangers out there than you know of – Naraku was not the only one, nor was he even the worst. You must never leave Mattaki, for the consequences would be dire – not only for you, but for all of our lands, and the people on them.” He looked sympathetic to her horrified expression, knowing just what she was thinking. “I know that it seems to be terrible to be tied so closely to another, and to never have the freedom to be apart, but the power that is a part of you is terrible and deadly. For the world's sake, daughter, you must accept this small inconvenience. Surely, to keep another Naraku or worse from rising, staying with Mattaki is a small price to pay?” he asked finally, his voice knowing of a sudden.

Defeated, Kagome didn't say anything, pointedly ignoring both Mattaki and Shippo. She felt trapped, and unhappy, and angry that she was going to be forced to sit and watch whatever was going to go on between the daiyoukai and Inuyasha. Suddenly, she wished for her mother's arms more than she had at any other time - she wanted to throw herself at her and cry her heart out. But of course, such a comfort was denied her, and all she could do was wrap her arms around herself and pretend they were her mother's.

The Kami understood her grief; leaving it alone, he turned back to look at Mattaki, who had been silent as all that had been said, simply watching. She made him want to give in and go easy on Inuyasha, if only to keep her from being upset at watching someone she cared for being hurt, but the Kami had denied this, and he would be bound to follow their wishes, though it grieved him to see her so unhappy. He sighed. Her soft heart would cause her much grief over their lifetimes, but there was nothing he could do about it. It was something she would have to learn to deal with herself.

“She will learn to deal with this setback in her own way, and sooner than you might think, do not fear,” the Kami sympathized with him. “She has a soft heart and while that is a good thing, it can be painful at times for the one who bears it.” He paused for a moment, looking thoughtful, and then nodded. “Still, what must be, must be,” he said in a low voice. 

And then his expression changed, and his voice did, as well. 

“Hear my call, son of the Inu no Taisho, and return to this world of light and life from the darkness below,” he called in a great voice, one that somehow echoed and pulsed within every part of each person there. It touched all of them in ways it would take time to understand, and all of them knew that it changed them in some deep intrinsic way to be exposed to the voice and power of gods in so direct a manner.

At the same time, it made all of them shiver with atavistic fear of the enormous, completely unending source of power that the form of this Kami housed – he was like a wellspring. Not even Mattaki, in all his power and magnificence, came close, and Kagome felt very small and unimportant in that moment. 

But as she watched, unable to look away, it was clear that none of the power he housed was being used to call Inuyasha back. She frowned, then started when the god spoke to her, once again hearing her very thoughts. “It is no mystery, little daughter. Power is not required for such tasks, because I am one of those who created this reality. Therefore, only authority is needed. I simply tell the world around me what my will is, and it responds - because it must. You will find, as our daughter, that certain things will respond to you in the same manner, if you but choose to use your authority.” 

As he was speaking, a pinpoint of black appeared suspended in mid-air before him, slowly spiralling open, blackness spreading from it like a dark mist as it widened. In that blackness Inuyasha suddenly appeared – but an Inuyasha that was pale and unmoving, eyes closed. He looked as though he were merely asleep, but paling, Kagome knew better – he was still dead. His body had arrived, as it moved slowly from the dark portal to lay on the ground before the god... but where was his soul?

Just as that thought hit her, some of the black tendrils from the door reached towards her, the Kami merely looking on with an amused look on his face. They violently furled away from her and retreated as soon as her white, brilliant aura flared to protective life around her, however, and her light illuminated that black place, giving them all a look at the underworld for several long seconds. The brilliance of her soul light beckoned into the portal, that dread place unable to turn away her powerful aura, and that allowed Inuyasha's soul to catch onto it, recognizing its familiar gentle warmth. Within moments, his own soul, a mottled affair resembling dusk with its intrinsic gloom slipped through the doorway and hovered before the Kami. Without a word, he pointed to the body laying before them all, and the soul turned and slammed into its housing, causing the warming flesh to actually shudder in reaction.

The portal disappeared just as slowly as it had appeared, spiralling out of existence even as Inuyasha took his first breath once more. Kagome watched, as did the others, her soul still shivering at the sight and feel of what lay behind that particular door. _I can't say I'm not glad at this moment that I won't have to ever face that door personally – or it's destination..._

Her thought was interrupted by a voice she'd never thought to hear again. “K-kagome?” Inuyasha whispered, his eyes narrowed to keep out the light a bit as he tried to adjust to his senses as they once more woke to the living world around him. “Did... was it y-you that found a way to bring m-me back?” He started to smile at her a little, and she decided to get that idea right out of his head immediately, before he started thinking things that were wrong. He would find himself no longer able to manipulate her through her feelings – the ones he'd always been able to use before no longer existed for him, and she wanted him to know it.

“No. It wasn't my idea,” she said crisply, purposely not looking at him. Despite the fact that she didn't hate him, he'd still caused her a lot of hurt, and then simply abandoned her without another thought. She just wasn't ready to look at him, this whole thing having come out of the blue with no kind of warning at all. 

He frowned, then, and tried to look around. He didn't like the note of... something... he'd never heard before in her voice when speaking to him. “What d'ya mean by sayin' it like that? I couldn't possibly have done anything to tick you off this time – you're just be bein' pissy for some stupid girly reason, as usual,” he groused sourly as he rubbed his head to clear it and then tried to sit up.

She looked at him, her jaw dropping at his complete lack of remorse or even acknowledgment of his culpability for what he'd done. Talk about self absorbed! “W-what do you mean, you didn't do anything?” she finally managed to sputter out. “You ran off the moment that dumb bi-” her lips tightened and she snapped her mouth closed for a moment as she strained mightily to keep certain naughty words in, and then when she regained her temper, she finished, “- _Kikyou_ appeared, leaving me and _my friends_ alone, without even a word of acknowledgment, a thank you for all your help, a goodbye, 'nice knowin' ya', or anything else! Did you forget about that, you ungrateful jerk?!” she yelled, suddenly a lot more angry than she could ever remember being at him. He was just so... so... _selfish!_

She'd completely forgotten the presence of the others, who had been kept quiet by the Kami, as he'd wished them all to hear Inuyasha's words and see his behavior for themselves. Not that Shippo really needed the reminder, but...

“What'd'ya mean _your friends_?” he shouted back, completely unaware of the Kami watching him, as he had deliberately hidden his power so as to keep Inuyasha talking. 

Kagome stiffened, her voice and face going cold, causing a suddenly cautious Inuyasha to lean back away from her as he waited for her to speak. “I said ' _my friends_ ' because that's what they _are_. If you'd _really_ cared about them, then you wouldn't have just abandoned them. You showed just how much you cared about any of us with those actions, Inuyasha, and that was not at all. Once you'd gotten what you'd wanted out of me, out of them, you no longer needed any of us, and ran off as though we no longer even existed,” she said, her words like arrows to the heart, making him feel small and very, very guilty. 

But Inuyasha wasn't one who'd ever dealt well with emotions, and most especially not the negative ones like guilt, and so his answer was usually to spit back acid at the one that was making him feel such an emotion in the first place. This time, however, he did not get the chance.

The Kami once more unleashed his aura, and Inuyasha, stunned into immobility, snapped his head around and stared up at the god with wide eyes and a fearful expression, suddenly just knowing that he was _not_ going to like what he was about to hear.

How right he was.

“And _that_ is why we of the kami have chosen to re-think the punishment that we originally had handed down in judgment upon your soul, Inuyasha. You have mistreated, abused, and harmed our daughter in ways that bring great dishonor upon you personally and your family name, as well,” the Kami said, a hint of anger in his voice, which caused Inuyasha to go pale and flinch back, though it was clear he wanted to argue the point. “You have learned no honor, as is obvious in the vow that you broke to her, our beloved child. In order for the vow to be upheld, since she must always be protected, your sire was returned to life to be her permanent protector in your place. His anger at your mistreatment of Kagome prompted _him_ to wish that you would be returned to life so he could punish you himself for your misdeeds – and we of the Kami have decided to allow this. So now, into your father's care you will go, and you will not be allowed to be free of him until he has deemed you ready to regain your honor by making reparations to our daughter for your previous actions.”

It was quiet for several long moments as Inuyasha took in everything that had been said in slow increments. First he looked at Kagome as it finally sunk in what the god had called her, his eyes wide with shock - and irritation, as well. And then the other part, the part about his father, not only being alive and there to punish him, but that he was now Kagome's protector hit him, and suddenly, with a total lack of remorse or even thought for his previous abandonment of her, he found that someone else being her protector was something that he didn't like – at all. That was supposed to be _his_ place!

“Always want what you don't have, eh, hanyou?” the god asked, his expression turning deadly. “If you had kept your vow to her and your honor, then you would have been her protector into eternity. But you were a fool, and so gave up your place to your father. And he is a much better protector for her, in the end, than you could ever have been. He does not treat her as you did. Hear me, Inuyasha. Whatever your father does to you, you will have no choice but to bear it, for if you attempt to leave his influence, this second chance at life will be gone, and you will die once more. The only way to regain your life, free of any price, is to survive what he chooses to do to you. You had best hope that his actions temper your spirit – or it will not go well with you,” the Kami finished sternly, to Inuyasha's horror. Then the god turned and looked at Mattaki, who was looking angry at his son, as well as eager to get his hands on him, all at once. “He is yours, Mattaki no Taisho – and I bless you in your efforts to train him up in the way he should go. You will need all the blessings the gods can give in order to fix this one, I fear.”

Mattaki bowed to the god. “I thank you for the blessings and the chance to train up my youngest son as I was not able to the first time around.” He looked over at a gaping Inuyasha with anger on his face. “One way or another, he will learn. If he does not, then he will simply die once again. The choice is, in the end, his.”

The Kami bowed his head fractionally in acceptance of Mattaki's words, and then glanced at Shippo from the corner of his eye. The kit had been absolutely silent the entire time, too awed to really be able to speak. But it was clear that the god knew just what was running through his mind, the same as he did with Kagome. 

“I am sure you, Master Shippo, will also enjoy getting your own blows in on the hanyou, as I can already hear your vengeful little thoughts,” the kami chuckled, causing Kagome to look at Shippo with surprise. “You love Kagome like your own mother, and hated the way he always treated her. You will have plenty of opportunity to make him understand just how much you disapproved of his treatment of your mother figure.” And then he winked at the kit, shocking everyone. “You fear that your parents would be angry at your love for Kagome, would feel that you were disrespecting them in naming her mother. But you needn't fear – they love you, and are eternally grateful to Kagome for taking care of you and making sure you've survived as most orphaned kits would not have. They greatly feared that you would die without them, and are pleased that you call Kagome mother, even if only in your mind, because it shows respect for the one who saved you, took you in, and protected and cared for you as though you were her own.”

Shippo flushed red and sneaked a quick peek at Kagome through his bangs, only to see her smiling softly at him, which caused him to blush deeper. He cleared his throat awkwardly, then bowed to the Kami. “T-thank you, sir,” he squeaked, clearing his throat again in embarrassment.

The Kami laughed, a hearty sound. “You are quite welcome, young kit. Your mother has done a good job of teaching you manners,” he said approvingly, and with that, he looked at Kagome. “As for you, my daughter – do you now see why Inuyasha needs the discipline his father is going to give him? He is selfish, and sees only himself and his own wants. It cannot be allowed to continue, or he would soon become nothing more than another Naraku, greedy, hateful, and wanting the power to force the world to his will.” He paused and looked over at the fuming but very wary hanyou, his face stern. “He is on the cusp of the path to evil this very minute – with simple selfishness and a refusal to accept responsibility for one's actions is its very beginning steps. He must be taught the error of his ways now, before it is too late, and not just his life is lost, but his very soul, as well.” 

Kagome sighed, but with anger still thrumming through her at Inuyasha's greeting of her, and his careless words and actions, she nodded, then bowed. “I understand,” she said reluctantly. “I just wish I didn't have to be here to deal with it. But... on the other hand,” she glared at the hanyou, “it will be nice not to have to do the disciplining and yelling myself.”

Again, the god laughed, and then with an inclination of his head to her and Mattaki, he vanished, his aura disappearing with him and leaving the area oddly empty feeling. But with his departure, a heavy silence fell as the four people there all stared at each other, uncertain of what to say.

Neither Shippo nor Kagome was really surprised that it was Inuyasha's brash big mouth that broke the silence. 

“What the hell was that guy talking about, sayin' I'm like Naraku? I ain't nothing like that bastard!” he snarled. Then he turned a calculating, pissed off look at the male who was his father – the father he'd never met. “And does he think I'm just gonna let you start spanking me like I'm some two year old pup? I don't fuckin' think so!”

Kagome sighed, and shaking her head disgustedly, turned and made her way back inside the palace itself. That visit from the kami had been overwhelming, and she had a lot to think about. 

Let his daddy take care of him – after all, wasn't that the whole point of all of this? She didn't even care, anymore, after his words to her, what Mattaki did to him, as long as he didn't kill him – Inuyasha was so hardheaded, he'd have to basically bludgeon the lessons into his thick skull to get them to stick.

“More power to ya, Mattaki,” she quipped sarcastically over her shoulder as she walked off. “With a stubborn bastard like Inuyasha to deal with, you're gonna need it.”

And to the tune of shocked silence, she disappeared into the shiro, leaving behind a very stunned Inuyasha, who was about to find out the hard way just why his father had been so feared by so many.

~oOo~

She couldn't help but ponder her change of heart as she wandered inside the building and decided to head for a relaxing soak. With Inuyasha to deal with, she doubted Mattaki would be interrupting her bath anytime soon. 

When the Kami had first appeared and informed them of what they had decided concerning Inuyasha's fate, she'd been very upset. She never liked to think of anyone suffering. But when he'd been returned and immediately, his first words had been to dump on her about her attitude of reserve towards him after what he'd done to her and put her and their friends through, something inside of her had hardened towards him. She poked at that hardness, and could only surmise that she'd simply reached her limit with the boy.

She'd given him everything of herself, not holding anything, even her heart, back – and he'd used it, used her, until she had nothing left to give and he no longer needed her, and then he'd simply tossed her aside and abandoned her as though she were nothing but trash. And then he'd gotten angry that _she'd_ had the nerve to be angry at _him?_ Who the hell did he think he was, anyway?

_I sure hope Mattaki can knock some sense into that jerk, because he certainly needs it. And he deserves whatever his daddy gives him, too,_ she thought vengefully, her eyes narrowed and fists clenching as she thought about it.  _He finally managed to kill all my sympathy for him,_ she decided, and after digging deep, she didn't even feel bad for it. No one was perfect, after all, and a person could only take so much. She'd certainly taken more than enough from Inuyasha, and she was done coddling and defending him. Let him take his lumps, just like everyone else had to. Maybe he'd finally learn something this time around.

Setting the whole subject of Inuyasha and his selfishness aside when she reached her room, she gathered her things to bathe with, and then, almost forgetting the lantern, decided she'd better go ahead and grab it, just in case – she didn't want a repeat of the last time in the baths. It wasn't fair to Mattaki to torment him so much – no one likes a tease, after all, and she certainly wasn't ready to take him into her bed - yet.

Still, she would be at some point, and the thought of doing so wasn't repulsive, a shiver wending it's way up her spine as she disrobed and her mind flashed back to his beautiful body.

The thought crossed her mind that she might very well end up wishing the hot water she was in was cold, instead, and with a great sigh, she climbed into the water and reclined, closing her eyes and shutting off her mind.

The world could get along without her for the next little while...

Because she would get along just fine without it.

~oOo~

The silence left behind after Kagome's exit and final comment was deep... as was the wicked, terrible grin that began to stretch across Mattaki's face, an identical one on Shippo's.

“Hello, Inuyasha,” Mattaki purred dangerously. “I've got a few things I'd like to talk to you about, boy, so why don't you make it easy on yourself and join me – before I decide to _make_ you?”

Inuyasha's eyes widened and he flinched back as his father's eyes flashed crimson-

And stayed that way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Just a little note this time – over on Deviantart, one of the readers, Miss TKE drew an art for this story that she called Second Chances. Anyone who would like to take a look at Papa, here's the address: h t t p : / / trish 1975 . deviantart . com / art / Second-Chance – 316841268 
> 
> Thanks to TKE for the beautiful art!
> 
> Amber


	7. Chapter 7

Recovering himself, Inuyasha glared right back at his father, his hackles up and extremely wary, but unable to back down, his pride getting the better of him.

That suited Mattaki just fine, giving him a reason to lay hands on the brat for the first time. Reaching out faster than Inuyasha could even see, he had ahold of the boy and dragged him into his face, his haori held so tightly it was actually cutting off circulation.

Stunned, Inuyasha didn't move for a moment, but then his temper caught up with him and he started thrashing, ignoring the fact that his father's sharp claws were actually cutting into his throat as he tried to get away.

His father just stood there, effortlessly holding Inuyasha above the ground, and for all the boy's thrashing, his hold wasn't loosed an inch. He watched his son fight his grip with a bored expression on his face that only egged the hanyou on. Finally, however, weakening from a lack of oxygen, his struggling form slowed in its movements, and he went limp, his vision beginning to go dark even as the tang of blood from the many cuts on his neck from his father's claws caused said father's eyes to flash crimson.

Mattaki waited until he knew Inuyasha was nearly unconscious before loosening his hold and allowing the limp form of his obnoxious son to fall to the ground. He landed hard, which served the purpose of waking him back up.

“Are you done, or do you wish to go another round?” he asked Inuyasha coldly, staring at him with an expression the hanyou had cause to remember seeing on his brother's face many times before. It chilled him even worse when coming from this male, who was obviously many times more dangerous than Sesshoumaru was.

“What the fuck's your problem?” Inuaysha croaked, barely able to get his voice to work as he rubbed his quickly bruising throat. 

Reaching down and grabbing his son by the arm, Mattaki proceeded to drag his recalcitrant youngest through the garden and into the house, heading for the dojo. He wasn't about to allow the first thrashing he gave the boy to damage his home, and the dojo was made for fighting. The garden was not.

Once again, Inuyasha began fighting – until his father's claws began to glow green, and then he fell still, staring at that hand warily. Those claws were _way_ too close to his skin, and he didn't particularly have any good memories of the poison Sesshoumaru obviously shared with their sire.

“If you damage one thing in my house, bakayarou, I will allow my poison to take your arm off,” he warned silkily as he glanced down at Inuyasha, noting his mesmerized staring at those brightly glowing claws. “If you wish to try your hand at taking me down, you will wait until we are in the dojo.”

“Why the hell do ya hate me so much, eh?” Inuyasha finally asked sullenly. “You ain't never even met me. Don't tell me... it's the same 'I hate hanyou' thing that asshole Sesshoumaru is always spouting. If you didn't like hanyou, then you shouldn't have fucked a human.”

Mattaki was actually astounded. Did the boy have no conscience at all? Was it _always_ about him in his mind? He obviously didn't know how to listen, since it had already been said _why_ he was so angry with him. Shaking his head in frustrated and bewildered fury, he wondered how his son could be so damn obtuse. 

The moment he arrived in the dojo, he let the poison simmering under his claws fall back to sleep and tossed his son almost the entire way across the dojo in frustration with all the crap the boy was _still_ spouting. Yes, he understood that his son had suffered almost two hundred years of horrible abuse and constant fighting just to survive. And that fact made something hurt deep inside, although there was also a bit of pride as well – his son was strong, to have survived against all odds – and even against Sesshoumaru, too.

But that didn't give him the right to treat Kagome, nor his other 'friends' the way he had. He could understand Inuyasha treating strangers with suspicion and not caring so much about their well-being. But Kagome? A beautiful woman who'd given him everything? Or his other friends, who'd done the same? From things Kagome had let drop, Inuyasha had, _quite_ often, actually treated strangers better than he did her! Sure, he'd grumble and gripe about 'helping people', but he didn't really treat those people they were helping badly, nor call them the names he'd always called the one woman – the one _person_ – that had always treated him with love.

He watched as his son peeled himself off the floor where he'd landed and sat up, and flash-stepped across the intervening space to once more loom over the already injured brat. The already injured _loudmouthed_ brat; it was plain his _mouth_ hadn't been injured, since the moment he landed, he was screaming obscenities and imprecations loud enough to be heard on the other side of the palace.

Determined to make sure that was his next target, Mattaki smacked Inuyasha hard across the cheek, stunning him so badly that it did, indeed, cut off the flow of nastiness coming out of that mouth of his. Pleased, the inuyoukai started talking immediately so as to _keep_ the boy quiet.

“If you ever speak of your mother or my relationship with her in such disgusting and derogatory terms again, I will make sure you never _speak_ again, period,” he spat venomously. “I cannot _believe_ that someone so uncouth as you came from a woman of elegance, breeding, sweetness and honor like your mother. You drag her memory down every time you open your mouth, whether you are speaking of her in such terms as you just did, or berating someone else. It breaks my heart to hear it, knowing how much your behavior would have hurt her gentle soul.”

That reprimand _certainly_ got Inuyasha's attention; he flinched back, his head dropping in shame. The one thing he had _always_ loved unquestioningly was his mother, and he'd had far too little time with her before she'd died. He had always missed her so much, and it was true – what he'd just said _would_ have hurt her. He decided in that moment not to ever say anything that could be taken as derogatory about her, even peripherally.

Still...

“Fine,” he growled, “I deserved that one. But only about mother! Why the hell do _you_ care how I talk to anyone else? Especially the wench! She ain't all perfect, ya know,” he grumbled. “She can be a real bitch!”

Once again, he smacked his son, this time drawing blood, before dropping down to thrust his face into his son's, since the boy was still sitting on the ground from being tossed there. “And yet again, with the names!” he snarled. “I am sure she can be 'a bitch', as you say – no one is perfect. But I find that I cannot blame her, especially when it comes to you. Why the hell _should_ she treat you nicely, when all you do with every word is put her down and treat her like shit? Do you speak to, or about, all females like you do her? What about your precious Kikyou?” he taunted. “Was she not also a human?”

Inuyasha snarled back at his father. “You leave Kikyou out of this!”

Mattaki laughed cruelly, then. “And why should I, you idiot child? Do you still protect the bitch who sealed you, then tried to kill you, then suckered you into going to hell, supposedly _with_ her, all while _really_ condemning you to a cold death alone, since she'd be reincarnated into Kagome while you lay in death's frozen embrace, forever denied light or life?”

At that, Inuyasha lunged for his father, rage overpowering his common sense, just like it always had, only to find himself once more flying through the air. Before he could even fully comprehend that he wasn't knocking heads with his father, he crashed full force into the opposite wall of the dojo, causing the whole room to shudder with the impact. He slid to the floor, stunned and almost unconscious, vaguely taking note of the fact that his arm had just broken in two places. 

He lay there for some moments, unable to wake himself from the daze he'd found himself in; probably concussed, he let idle thoughts just slide through his head, none of which really made any sense, though he was too far gone for the moment to notice, or even care. 

Watching with satisfaction as his son thumped against the wall and then slid down, Mattaki strolled slowly over to him, figuring that it would probably take a few minutes for his healing abilities to clear his mind of the concussion he was pretty sure he had given the little monster. No point in rushing over there to speak when he most likely wouldn't remember what was said, anyway.

Sure enough, after a few minutes spent lying there, Inuyasha felt his mind clear, and he struggled to sit up, wincing in pain as the bones in his arm shifted.

He turned his head to look for the enemy, finding him a few feet away, watching him with a bored expression. He snorted bitterly. At least now he knew where that bastard Sesshoumaru got the expression.

“So... what? Is this what I have to look forward to now that I've been dumped on your doorstep?” he asked, that bitterness bleeding into his voice. “The father I've never known gets brought back, and the first thing he does when he meets me is start trying to break me, just like his perfect, _pure_ youkai son always has. Figures that you'd care more about other people than me. Bet you and that bastard'll get together and start swappin' stories of all the things you've done to me, eh? I'm surprised you didn't invite him over so you could both gang up on me. And then when you're both tired of torturing me, you can break my neck and get it over with, right? Keh. I've always wished I'd never been born, and now I wish it even more.” He turned away from his father. “Why don't you just do whatever you're gonna do and get it over with.”

There was silence for a moment, and then an ironic chuckle was heard. “And still, it's all about what you perceive as someone treating _you_ wrongfully. Do you never take note of what you've done wrong to _others_? Tell me, Inuyasha. What has Kagome _really_ done to you to make you hate her so much? Because it's clear from your treatment of her that you do. She must really have done something terrible to you.”

Another guilty stab went through Inuyasha, and just as it always did, it caused him to get even angrier with the one pointing his behavior out. “Fuck you! I don't hate the wench! But what happens between us ain't none of your damned business! What, are you her fuckin' guard dog or something?” That statement seemed to bring something back up in Inuyasha's mind, and he snarled at his father, his anger allowing him the surge of energy he needed to get back up to his feet. “And I don't care what that asshole callin' himself a kami said – you ain't Kagome's protector. I ain't dead anymore, so I'm taking my place back. We don't need you, so I'll just be taking my wench and leaving!” 

It had clearly slipped his mind in his temper that the kami had clearly stated that not only did Kagome have to stay with Mattaki, but that he did, too, or he'd lose this second life of his. Mattaki took great joy in reminding him.

“Have you forgotten what the kami said, then? Did I perhaps sire an idiot?” he asked silkily, watching with enjoyment as the little brat's face reddened. “Not only can Kagome not leave my side, but you cannot leave my presence, or you will simply die once more. In easy words for simple minds, if you try to leave, you're dead. Now what kind of good could some little whelp like you do for Kagome – let alone when you're dead?”

That reminder sent Inuyasha's rage even higher, and he whipped around and punched the wall with his good arm, _beyond_ frustrated. He actually felt like he was going to explode.

“Kagome ain't by your side, bastard,” he shouted, “she's _mine! Mine!!_ She promised to stay by _my_ side!”

That statement, after Inuyasha's abandonment of Kagome, and all of his abuse of her, sent Mattaki into a feral rage, and he snarled so loudly that the entire palace trembled in its wake. Inuyasha fell back, shocked right out of his temper by the overwhelming sight of his father's. 

In an instant, the enraged inuyoukai had his son pinned beneath him, his claws blooming with poison once again as he left a mere breath of air between them and his son's skin. Disgust liberally coating his words, he said, “You forfeited your rights as her protector when you abandoned her, you little fucking whelp! How do you even have the _nerve_ to claim her as yours after you did that, hm? You left her alone, frightened, and severely injured on the battlefield to wander off after some manipulative bitch who is no more than the dirt beneath Kagome's feet. You were so intent on trailing after that abomination, that you didn't even take the time to at least help her other injured friends get her back to the village by the well so the miko could take care of her! Nor did you, as she said, take the smallest moment to even say goodbye. No. You abandoned her, at the same time as you abandoned any honor that you _might_ have been able to lay claim to before those actions took it all away. So you don't say a word to me or anyone else about her being _yours_. She's _mine,_ Inuyasha, and it's by _my_ side she'll be staying. I'll be the one protecting her while you lay dying once more, only this time, of old age, and with Kagome looking no older than she does now.”

Not inclined to let his loud-mouthed son get another word in, he snarled again just as the brat opened his mouth, and cuffed him alongside his head. This time, there was no resistance. Inuyasha instantly went limp, his eyes falling closed as he lost consciousness, and Mattaki let him go. Sweeping from the room, he motioned for a passing servant to attend him, and when the male did, he gave instructions for Inuyasha to be carried to one of the rooms in the palace. He made sure to have him put in a different wing than the one that he and Kagome shared, and then walked off, heading for the outside. He needed to get away and clear his head, and his temper.

_What a monster I sired!_

~oOo~

Shippo watched the Inuyoukai walk away, leaving Inuyasha in a lump on the floor, and shivered, glad that he wasn't the one on the male's shit list. He was _scaaarry,_ just like Kagome could be sometimes.

He'd been stunned when Mattaki had moved so fast and nailed Inuyasha right there in the garden, but then he'd turned gleeful, just so happy that he was about to get his own back after tormenting his mother-figure for so, so long. So he'd followed quietly as the daiyoukai had dragged Inuyasha's fruitlessly struggling form through the palace to the dojo, and wide-eyed, watched him proceed to pounding the hell out of the hanyou, mostly using the walls and floor of the massive room.

Bristling with anger, he'd listened as Inuyasha once more started bad-mouthing Kagome, but before he'd even had a chance to say anything, let alone move, the fight had continued, and Inuyasha had ended up flying through the air only to land hard, yet again, against a wall of stone, and slide down to land in a broken heap at its base.

Apparently, his words and actions had quite thoroughly pissed off his father, as well.

But after the confrontation was over, and servants had appeared to take Inuyasha off to the healers to set the broken arm, which he'd heard snap, and then to his rooms, Shippo had immediately wondered if Kagome had perhaps heard some of the shouting or felt some of the shuddering of the walls. He knew that she wasn't too happy with what was happening, and it bothered him that she would have to be subjected to the hanyou's big mouth and constant insults again. No telling what the baka would say to her now, especially with how angry he was going to be with his 'punishment'. Inuyasha never did take well to being reprimanded or having his bad behavior pointed out, let alone with being actually physically punished for it, and there was no way to know what he would do, because it was no odds he'd blame Kagome for all of this.

He'd _always_ blamed her for everything bad that happened, so why not this, too?

Intent on finding her, he began sniffing, and soon caught her scent coming from a bathing room, though it was obvious she'd finished there and moved on, and he tracked her to what was clearly her room, and then further, out into the gardens. 

It was clear from the expression on her face that she had heard what had gone on in the dojo, and Shippo winced, wondering exactly what part of it she'd heard. With a sigh, the kitsune trotted over to her and plopped down on his little butt, looking up at her solemnly. 

“What'd you hear?” 

“Enough.”

“Things he said, or just noise?”

“A little of both. I can't _believe_ he's still protecting Kikyou after everything she did.” She shook her head in confusion. “I just can't figure him out. At what point would he consider what she'd done enough? She's already tried to kill him, and succeeded. I don't know what could be any worse.”

Shippo folded his arms and shook his head as he agreed with her assessment, still bristling. “He's an idiot, just like his papa told him. He sure didn't like it when he heard it, either. But then again, Inuyasha never could face the truth, since the truth always showed him up for the bully he is.”

Kagome chuckled at that... she couldn't help it. Shippo just looked so... so cute like that - so stern and disapproving and... bristly. It was absolutely adorable!

“Yeah, bully is a good name for him, eh? In some ways. But it's strange – the only ones he wanted to bully was us. I don't understand why. Is it a youkai thing, to bully those that treat you well, and treat well those that bully you?” she asked.

“Eh, no!” Shippo squeaked out in high dudgeon. “It's an _Inuyasha_ thing. The rest of us youkai aren't so stupid!”

Kagome put up her hands and waved them placatingly as she laughed and pleaded for forgiveness from the offended kit. “Hai, hai, you are right, Shippo-chan, please, forgive me for saying something so obviously wrong. I didn't mean to offend you.”

He eyed her for a moment, and then relented, unfolding his arms and collapsing into giggles himself. He'd achieved his goal, which had been to cheer Kagome up and make her laugh. He loved it when she was laughing and happy – she practically glowed, and it was a lovely thing to watch. Besides... her pleasure pleased him – when Kagome was happy, her aura drenched everyone around her in happiness, relaxing even the most tense and upset person. It even worked on Inuyasha, though he was always loath to admit it.

But sometimes keeping her happy could be a difficult thing, especially with bakayasha around. If Kagome had one fault, it was that her belief in herself was entirely too easily destroyed. It drove Shippo nuts that the actions of one jerk could bring her down so easily, and yet the actions of all the people that cared for her, couldn't seem to affect her belief in herself at all.

He hoped that Mattaki could take care of that little problem, and from what he'd seen of the daiyoukai, if anyone had a chance of fixing the damage that stupid Inuyasha had caused, it would be him. He was so supremely confident in himself, that it was really hard to believe anything that he didn't. That was why he was such a great leader – his confidence in himself and his choices convinced those around him that if _he_ believed they were worthy, then they were, because there was just no way he could be so wrong about anything. And that was just what Kagome needed.

Watching her for a moment, he smiled to himself as he watched that glow from her intensify, and wondered what had caused it to spike. He tilted his head to the side with a questioning expression on his little face.

Kagome couldn't help the affectionate expression that lit her face, but she did have a question for the little kit, though she was a little reluctant to ask it, afraid of being hurt again. But... she had to – she couldn't just keep wondering...

“Ano... Shippo... can I... I mean, well... what did the kami mean earlier when he said that you thought of me as your... m-mother?” she stuttered softly, blushing.

Shippo blinked, a little startled at that question, truthfully, but then he blushed, too. “You... you don't mind, do you?” he asked. “I didn't want to push myself on you, or anything,” he finished hesitantly.

Practically lunging towards him, she scooped him up and hugged him tightly to her, the tears in her eyes shimmering in the sunlight for a moment before spilling over and down her cheeks as she shook her head fiercely. “Of course I don't mind! I've always thought of you as mine, anyway – I just didn't want to take liberties that weren't appreciated. I didn't know if you'd get upset with me, thinking I was trying to take your parents place, or something. But I'm not, really! I would never-” she stopped as a paw was placed over her lips, and looked down at the little kitsune in her lap.

“It's okay, Kagome,” he chirped, smiling up at her. “I don't mind. You've always taken care of me just like a mother does, anyway, so that's how I've always seen you.” He looked down then, a frown chasing the smile away from his face. “I kinda always felt bad about thinking of you like my mother... like I was disrespecting my real parents, but the kami knew and said that it was okay, that they weren't mad at me for it, and that they were glad I was with you. I felt a lot better about it after he said that,” he admitted, looking back up at her again, smiling just a little this time.

Kagome couldn't help but smile through her tears, feeling a great deal of relief that they had gotten this out in the open. She'd been feeling awkward about it for a while, now. Wiping the tears away from her cheeks, she relaxed her tense posture and her smile widened a little. “So...” she trailed off, a chuckle showing her nervousness, and Shippo laughed a little, too.

He looked down at his little fingers for a moment as he fidgeted with them in his lap, and then back up at her with a hopeful expression on his face. “So... can I?” he asked, then added, “Call you mama?” at her questioning look.

She grinned and nodded, thinking how adorable he looked with his head tilted like that, and hugged him close again. “I'd... like that,” she responded softly. “It would make me feel not so alone, here. It's been hard losing my family, and wondering why I'm stranded here, alone and away from them. You know, even though I know Sango and Miroku care about me and all, and they are my friends, family's just... different, ne?”

Shippo nodded in return. “Yeah... family's different. Now I feel like I really have a place to belong again,” he said.

“Yes! That's exactly how it makes me feel... like I have a place to belong here, now, because I have you, and you're my family,” she agreed, her aura shining even more brightly and soothing Shippo's aura, had she but known it. With her aura so content and light and happy, the little kitsune was actually beginning to feel drowsy with the contentment that seeped into him as her aura stroked his.

With all the feel-good energies running through the two, and the drowsy, slumbrous warmth of the garden around them complete with lazily buzzing bees, it wasn't really surprising when the two fell asleep together, curled up and quite content to snooze the afternoon away there in the open air.

Mattaki, coming on them just as they dropped off, was actually considering joining them...

Until a certain aura swept over his, and his hair stood on end.

_Damn it, no! Not Satori... I really don't want to deal with this right now – I just now managed to finally calm down!  
_

But that didn't matter, because Satori was already arriving – and she wasn't one to be put off. He sighed, disgruntled, as he turned and went inside to deal with his 'company'.

_Damn!_

~oOo~

Satori sniffed elegantly. 

“What a fine new life you've found yourself, Mattaki,” she said blandly, glancing out the garden door at Kagome and Shippo, who were both still curled up together, perfectly peaceful – and asleep, which was what Mattaki was wishing he was, too. “What a... perfectly _awful_ millstone to find around one's neck – a little human girl. Rather like Sesshoumaru, as a matter of fact, both of you with your little human followers.” 

She looked at him, one fine brow raised and her expression falsely sympathetic. He knew it was false - she wasn't sympathetic to his perceived horrible fate, not at all – she was laughing at him. Not that he cared.

“How can you _possibly_ stand it?”

He finally shook his head, turning from her, he looked out at the garden, his expression lightening as it landed on Kagome. “Play your games elsewhere, Satori, I've no interest in them. I have not the slightest problem with my 'fine new life' as you've called it, so sharpen your claws on some _other_ person's corpse.” He glanced back at her for a moment, his own expression turning calculating. “Why are you really here?” he asked her, clearly knowing that something was up. 

She considered him for a time, and then smirked, knowing she wouldn't fool him, and that there was really no reason to try. She shrugged, even that movement spare and elegant. Mattaki watched her, acknowledging distantly that she was still the most beautiful woman he'd ever met... and that, while fond of her, he still did not love her. It was clear, however, from the tiny spark in her eye that was there and then gone, that she still held feelings for him. He felt badly for that, but he had never returned her feelings. He still didn't. She just wasn't for him; though he'd hoped that she'd finally found someone who she could be for, it appeared he'd hoped in vain. He sighed inwardly, suddenly uncomfortable as he waited for her to speak.

“I was enjoying watching you take that pup you sired with Izayoi in hand earlier today, but eventually decided that perhaps I would enjoy the contretemps better up close rather than just by mirror, so I decided to visit.” Her words were plainly spoken, but Mattaki knew immediately that while she was probably enjoying the show with Inuyasha quite a bit, because that was her personality, that wasn't really her true reason for being there. She apparently hadn't realized that there was anything going on between he and Kagome, and was hoping for a chance herself.

 _What a mess,_ he sighed to himself again. _I hate having to hurt her... perhaps I shouldn't say anything directly, instead just letting her get the picture silently, so that at least she can leave with her pride intact. For Satori, pride is a really big thing, and I don't want to take that from her._

In the end, it wasn't hard to decide to just let her figure out what was going on between he and Kagome on her own, and hope that would keep her from being humiliated by him having to actually _tell_ her he wasn't interested.

He summoned a servant and gave them instructions to put her in the guest wing of the palace. He caught the sideways look she sent him at her placement in the guest wing, but acted as though he hadn't, and then, the moment she'd left the room, he headed outside to join Kagome and Shippo. 

Now he _really_ needed the benefit of her soothing aura.

~oOo~

He really should have realized that having the mother of one of his children, who wanted to have more of his children, along with the woman _he_ wanted to be the mother of more of his children, in his house at the same time, was a terribly bad idea.

Kagome was quite taken aback to meet Satori, and didn't really know what to say to her – but when Satori started in with her usual bevy of insults, Kagome shocked her - and Mattaki, as well - with how she handled the situation.

“She really isn't much to look at, is she?” Satori'd asked him, the moment she'd been introduced to Kagome. She'd looked the girl over with a critical air, and then started talking to him like she wasn't even there. “Well, just because you've been forced to act as a father to her, I suppose that doesn't _totally_ end your life,” she'd sighed. “She could be kept quietly out of the way of your day-to-day life. It will certainly put a damper on certain things, though – not too many females will want to mate you when you come with such... simple-looking baggage.”

Completely expecting Kagome to simply fold into herself and walk away, he was stunned when she'd eyed Satori right back, and then turned to him, ignoring Satori as she'd ignored her, and said, “I see what you meant about her being the most beautiful woman you'd ever met.” When Satori practically purred with pleasure and looked over at him with that spark in her eye glowing even stronger, she continued. “I _also_ see what you meant when you said that her coldness is off-putting, though I'd have to say her manners are just as terrible as her cold attitude. It's too bad that her outside doesn't match her inside – or you wouldn't have had to go elsewhere to find someone to love,” she'd said mildly. “But at least now I understand it – I couldn't _imagine_ a male looking elsewhere when he had such an obviously beautiful female as I knew Sesshoumaru's mother just had to be, already available; she doesn't seem to realize that a warm personality is just as important as looks, though,” she told a shocked Mattaki as a just as stunned Satori glared at her venomously. She'd looked back over at Satori and then shook her head, an expression of distaste on her face. “Anyway, I think I'll leave you to deal with her – I really have no desire to listen to her prove my point by opening her mouth and allowing more filth to flow out of it.”

With that, she'd turned and left the room, a snickering Shippo still cuddled in her arms.

Too stunned to react immediately, the moment her rage overtook her shock, Satori snarled, and with her eyes flashing red, Mattaki was forced to step into her path to stop her from going after Kagome. He knew just from the look on her face what she was about to do, and it would be her death if she tried it.

“Move, Mattaki,” she snarled, her face no longer looking quite so perfect. “I will challenge the bitch for speaking to me so!”

At that, his face became stern. “No, you will not, Satori. First of all, you pretty much deserved it. You did, after all, insult her first.” He put up a hand at her attempt to answer that. “And second of all, Kagome is no helpless female. She is a miko, and a very strong one. On top of that, I am her protector, put in this place by the kami themselves. If you challenge her, _I_ will be the one you face in combat, not her.”

“It is not the place of a lowly human to speak back to me! If I choose to insult one, though I was merely speaking the _truth_ ,” she spat angrily, “then that is my right! And that little bitch can't be much of a miko – I didn't even feel any reiki from her. As for the gods... they only did that because your bastard second son refused to uphold his own vow to her! That should tell you something – if a worthless hanyou couldn't even find it in himself to think her worth any of his time, then I don't know why the gods even bother!”

His eyes flashed; now she was making _him_ angry. “You know nothing of what you speak, woman, so I suggest you sheathe your claws before it means your death! I would not like to have to explain to Sesshoumaru that I had been forced to kill his mother,” he exclaimed, his tone full of warning. “That 'little bitch' as you name her, is called something else by the kami, Satori. Would you like to know what? They call her daughter. You continue to insult one who is above you,” he told the now silent and shocked female, “because I don't see the gods claiming _you_ as such. And she _is_ a miko. She is, however, very good at hiding that fact.” He lowered his voice, then, and sighed. “I may have originally been forced to take over the vow that Inuyasha forsook. But I am not an unwilling protector. Kagome will not be forced to hide in some dusty old corner of my life, while I give only lip service to my place as protector. She's a big part of my life, now, and if you can't treat her respectfully, then you will have to leave, Satori. I will not have you upsetting her in her own home, which this now is.” He paused, taking in her still stunned countenance, then said softly but with a dangerous edge, “And you will cease to call my son names, as well. What he is or isn't is none of your business.”

Stunned, and not liking the fact that the gods had named the little unremarkable human wench 'daughter', meaning that she was off-limits, Satori had to force herself to calm down. She was not used to having anyone be equal to her, let alone above her – and especially not some disgusting, worthless human. But there was nothing for it – even she could not fight the kami.

Setting that matter aside, since there was nothing else she could do, she narrowed her eyes on Mattaki, something else that the human girl had said coming to mind and greatly upsetting her. _He had been talking about her._ “So... I'm the most beautiful woman you've ever seen – but too cold-hearted for your liking?” she asked him, her voice quiet and yet haughty, and once more cold and under her control.

Really unhappy with the fact that he'd been put in this position, because he could clearly hear the hurt she was trying so hard to hide, Mattaki cursed at Kagome under his breath. Yes, he could understand why she'd done what she'd done, and he was even glad that she'd stood up for herself and not allowed herself to be stepped on – but had she really had to get back at Satori using things he'd told her? He'd have to have a talk with her about that... and in the meantime, he needed to figure out a way to get out of this without upsetting Satori any more than she'd already been upset.

He decided to try the direct approach. “This surprises you, Satori? I doubt it – we've talked of this before. You know I don't like the cold attitude you and Sesshoumaru use as a weapon to carve others into little, itty-bitty pieces. So what are you upset for?” he asked, truly curious. Though he suspected that it had more to do with her feelings for him, rather than that such a small thing, something she already knew, really bothered her. If she hadn't cared for him, he was one hundred percent certain that she would be happy that her cold manner was off-putting, since that was part of the reason she used it. Yes, what he'd told Kagome was true – her parents had taught her to act so, but it was also a fact that she enjoyed using that coldness to dissect people and make them uncomfortable. It gave her the upper hand – most of the time, unless she was up against one who also had sharp claws. Like Kagome, though that was one thing he hadn't expected from her normally soft and gentle behavior.

It appeared that she wasn't always soft and gentle, however.

Satori turned her back on him, knowing that what he had said was nothing but the truth, but unable to help her upset. She'd always had feelings for Mattaki, but he had never returned them. She had hoped that this time, with no Izayoi in the way, that she would finally have a chance with him. She sighed inwardly, and forced the hurt feeling away. There was still a chance... perhaps if she were to act warmer, at least around him, it would help her case. It couldn't hurt to try.

“Nonetheless, I would prefer it if you didn't speak about me to that... that _female,_ Mattaki.” She glanced at him over her shoulder, her tone softening. “I will see you for the next meal,” she finished, and then left, needing to go to her room and regroup. That had not been a pleasant episode, and she growled inwardly at the bitch she directly attributed that fact to. If that little wench had just kept her mouth shut to one who was clearly her superior, the kami notwithstanding, then everything would have been just fine.

Hopefully, she wouldn't have to see her again during her stay here – and if she was able to woo Mattaki, and he mated her, that little wench would find herself shuffled off to the darkest corner of the estate that she, Satori, could find for her. She would not tolerate that little monster interfering in their day to day lives.

End of story.

~oOo~

“We need to talk.”

Kagome turned in surprise to see Mattaki standing in the doorway of the room she'd chosen to sit in after that little introduction to Sesshoumaru's mother. _No wonder he's got a chip on his shoulder – I would, too, if she was my mother,_ she thought mutinously as she took in the inuyoukai's upset expression.

“About what?”she asked lightly, turning back and setting down her book – one of two novels that she'd had in her bag when they'd been forced to destroy the well. Shippo had gone off with Myouga to show him some of his new tricks – and to pump the flea for more information about Mattaki, no doubt. 

She waited patiently as he moved into the room and sat down on a cushion across from her; after getting comfortable, he looked fully at her and she rolled her eyes inwardly – she could just tell that she wasn't going to like what she was going to hear.

“I understand that Satori upset you with what she said – and I'm even pleased that you stood up for yourself against her. But I am _not_ pleased that you took something I said to you, believing it to be in confidence, and used it to get your own blow in.”

Her face dropped, and she sighed, nodding after a moment. She hadn't really thought of that, but he was right – she shouldn't have done that. “You're right. I'm sorry. It won't happen again.”

A little surprised that she'd folded so easily, he inclined his head in acceptance of her apology. “Thank you. She will be staying here for a little while, and I'd like for there to be peace while she is.”

At that, her head shot up and she snorted. “I should think you'd be better off telling _her_ that. I didn't start all that, she did.” And then she frowned. “Wait a minute... why's she going to be staying here, anyway?” she asked suspiciously, her eyes narrowing on him. Just what she needed – a mouthy bitch that for whatever reason had it out for her staying in the same place she was basically _forced_ to stay. 

He cocked a brow at her sudden change of demeanor, and her question. “This is my home, correct? I can invite anyone I choose to, without having to give a reason for their visit to you or anyone else, Kagome.” Frowning at her as she stiffened at his almost supercilious tone of voice, he finished, “She is my guest, whatever the reason, and you will treat her with the respect due her, is that clear? I will not tolerate anything else.”

Instantly fuming that he would expect her to be polite to a bitch that had verbally attacked her with no provocation, and at the fact that he was refusing to answer her question of why she needed to be here in the first place, she stood up and swiped her book from the small table she'd set it on, then turned to head out the door. Pausing, she gritted out, “I am not the one that mouthed off to her, but it's nice to know that you think more of her than you do me, since you seem to think that you have to tell _me_ to be polite to one who treated me badly for no reason! You can keep your oh-so-precious _guest_ , Mattaki – be sure that I won't bother her - ever!” And then she stormed out of there, leaving an angry daiyoukai behind to snarl at an empty room.

 _The nerve of him,_ she growled as she swept through the halls towards her room, taking note as she did that her room was far too close to his. _I can just bet I know what she's really here for, and I don't want to hear that crap!_ Her heart shorted out at the thought, but really – why would he need Sesshoumaru's mother here – it wasn't like Sesshoumaru was here, too, and she was visiting him. No... there was something else going on there, and it didn't take a genius to figure it out. _So much for all his bullshit about wanting me. Although... he is a Lord, and this is the Feudal Era – maybe he was thinking about having several women – me as one mate, and her as another? Well, he can be a player all he wants, but he can count me out of it – I'm no ones whore or plaything! _she thought with a mutinous snarl. 

Catching a passing servant, she asked that her things be moved to the servant's wing, which was the wing farthest away from all the rest of the castle. She wanted the smallest room there, and as she directed the dubious servants that the first one called, she was soon transferred into her new room – a small room with a little, low-set window that overlooked the kitchen garden, and was at the far end of the servants quarters. There weren't even any servants housed near her, so it was quiet and private – and far away from Mattaki and his bitch-apparent. It had nothing but a futon and a small tansu, and a little oil lamp. Since Kagome didn't have much, it didn't take long to get her settled, and she fit just fine into the little room. Then she asked them not to say a word to Mattaki about her new accommodations, and also to have her meals served to her there, and settled into her new bed to spend the rest of the day alternately crying and raging into her pillow in frustrated anger, interrupted by a dinner that she barely even touched. Even Shippo stopping in to eat with her and question her about what was going on after he'd had to track her down didn't phase her ill-temper, and once alone again, she went right back to screaming into her pillow all her frustrations with life.

 _Damn him anyways – I don't need him! w_ as her last defiant thought before she finally drowsed off to sleep, her eyes tired after so much crying.

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

By the time the call for dinner came, Mattaki had just barely managed to calm his temper, and had finally, once he'd cooled off, realized that he'd come across as an ass to Kagome. Yes, he'd meant what he'd said about his right to invite anyone he wished without needing permission but he definitely could have said it better. He'd also meant what he'd said about treating Satori respectfully, but it wasn't like he hadn't told Satori the same thing about the way he expected her to treat Kagome. He just hadn't said it to Kagome very well, probably making her feel as though he were condoning Satori's behavior towards her. _I made it sound as if_ _she_ _were the troublemaker that was attacking Satori in_ _her_ _home, rather than the other way around,_ he realized regretfully. 

He winced... he was probably going to have to do some profuse apologizing. He decided that he'd catch her after dinner and talk to her then – hopefully she would have had a chance to cool off herself by that time.

Needless to say, with all of the people in the palace, he certainly wasn't expecting to be dining _alone_ with Satori – nor was he happy about it. Inuyasha he was aware was still knocked out, and wasn't expected to awaken until the next day some time. But Myouga? Kagome and Shippo? Where were they? 

When he questioned the servants, he was told that Kagome had taken her meal in her room, along with Shippo, and that no one even knew were Myouga was. Normally, at mealtimes, the flea would join the table and sip tea with everyone. And then Mattaki sighed again inwardly. Of course... Myouga had never liked Satori, as she always had nothing but rude things to say about him, too, so he had always avoided being caught in her presence. And he could understand that – the flea was small, and really unable to defend himself against the female inuyoukai's spite.

But Kagome... well, apparently she'd already had her meal for the evening, but tomorrow, things would be changing. He would not have her hiding away and eating alone in her own home, just because Satori was around. And besides... how was he supposed to get the message to the female inuyoukai that he already had someone, if Kagome wasn't around to interact with?

Resigned to spending the meal alone with Satori, not something he was going to enjoy much because he knew what she was hoping for, namely, a relationship with him, he decided to do his best to keep the meal on a casual footing, and hope for the best in keeping the topic from anything private. So, in that vein, he began the conversation with an inquiry into some of the goings on in her palace.

That was the perfect topic, as she spoke lightly through the meal about the drama and silliness that was always to be found in such places, and Mattaki was able to find enough of interest to keep him from dying of boredom as she described some of the recent incidences between people he'd known before his death.

That topic covered most of the meal, and he was just about to sigh with relief, when she changed the subject, and started speaking about things he really didn't want to – like what he planned to do now that he had a second chance at life.

It took some maneuvering, but he managed to keep from speaking of anything too private, and before Satori could bring up the subject of finding himself a mate, the meal was over, and he excused himself on the grounds that it had been a long day, and that he had a few things to oversee before seeking his bed.

She'd eyed him hopefully, and then sighed and waved him off after a moment when he didn't respond to her blatant hope for an invitation to share said bed, and he'd escaped gladly, ready to glue Kagome to his hip and demand that she never leave his side again - so that he'd never be left alone with Satori again. No, he didn't want to hurt her feelings by denying her aloud – but he hated the feeling of being chased and put in a difficult spot, and he needed for her to get the message quickly and go home - before he lost his mind.

Besides... her presence was putting a damper on his own attempts to romance the woman he wanted, not to mention causing havoc between them. Maybe it hadn't been such a good idea to invite her to stay, despite his reasons – if he hadn't invited her, she'd have had to go home. She would have eventually realized that he had a new interest in his life, and that would have been that.

That thought, though, brought to mind another – her spying mirror. He really didn't like the idea of her spying on him – he had no desire for her to watch him in his daily life with Kagome, and certainly not any... times of intimacy. So... as soon as Satori left, he was going to be putting up a barrier to keep her mirror _out._ Yes, he wanted her to get the message, but _not_ that way.

Once he'd done his nightly routine perimeter check of his estate, he headed for his rooms, with the added idea of taking a nice soak. As he passed Kagome's room, he pulsed his aura lightly – and came to a halt when he realized that she wasn't in her room. Thinking her to be in the baths again, he frowned and then growled lightly when he didn't see the soft glow of the lamp through the rice-paper to warn him of her presence. _She must have forgotten in her ire,_ he thought, and summoned a female servant to peek in and shoo her out of the bath.

He was taken aback, however, when told that no one was currently inhabiting the bathing room, and decided to track her down and just get the apologizing done now instead of waiting. Since she wasn't in her room, nor taking a bath, he figured she was probably in the gardens, Shippo and possibly Myouga entertaining her. He actually hoped that was the case, so that she would hopefully be in a forgiving mood when he approached.

By the time he realized she wasn't in the garden, he was beginning to get a bit perturbed, and getting tired of trying to track her scent - which seemed to be all over the place - he instead searched for her aura, and was quite irritated to be unable to find it. She was hiding from him, and that told him all he needed to know about her current temperament. She was still pissed off.

Changing his mind once again, he decided that if she was still so angry with him as to be hiding from him, then he would let a night of sleep soothe her temper, and then catch her in the morning to apologize and straighten things out between them. The thought that she might have left his protection and his estate never crossed his mind, since he knew that she wouldn't do anything to put others in danger, no matter how angry she was at him. That kind of unthinking foolishness wasn't in her.

However, it also hadn't occurred to him that she would have moved herself from the room he'd given her, into a much smaller room at a remote end of the estate, placing herself amongst the servants. She was pretty much as far away from him as she could get and still be under his protection.

Instead, placidly certain that she was merely avoiding him in her temper, and that it would all blow over in the morning once he'd groveled sufficiently, he took a nice, relaxing soak, and then retired to his bed, arousing and emotionally satisfying thoughts of taking _her_ to his bed dancing through his dreams and keeping him smiling through the rest of the night.

~oOo~

The following morning found a scowling Mattaki – no one seeing him at that point would have thought he'd spent most of the night before having extremely happy dreams and with a very pleased smile plastered on his face.

He'd woken that morning with thoughts of making up with Kagome, and then getting Satori to see the growing intimacy between he and the miko, which would then hopefully send her from their home with the message that maybe she needed to give up on thoughts of ever having a relationship with him, and find someone else. With that 'making up' with Kagome first and foremost in his thoughts, he'd gone to her room to see if she was still there – only to find that she wasn't... and hadn't been all night.

Immediately his hackles had gone up, and he'd once again tried to track her down through her aura, but lo and behold, she was still hiding from him – and that was when he realized that he might have gone a little farther than he'd realized the day before in his words, and that she had obviously taken what he'd said a great deal differently than he'd really meant. It was at that point that he began to panic just a bit; though he didn't _think_ she'd do something like leave the estate when the kami had just gotten through telling her of the dangers of doing just that, he couldn't be positive that she hadn't in the upset of what he'd said to her – and how he'd said it, he winced, thinking back to the previous evening. 

So he did the next best thing, and that was to track down the kitsune. Once he'd found the boy's signature still in the palace, he'd calmed down some, knowing that he wouldn't still be here if Kagome were not. In no time at all he'd cornered the young boy, and sighed inwardly at the suspicious look the kit shot him. He'd really done it, it seemed – he had the feeling that he'd set himself back with Kagome, and that he'd be doing some crawling on hands and knees to get back into her good graces and so he just accepted the kit's dubious look when he asked where the miko was without comment.

“I don't think mama wants me to tell you where she slept last night,” he said after a moment of studying the daiyoukai. “But right now she's out in the garden, so if you want to talk to her...” he trailed off, and Mattaki nodded.

“I need to apologize for my words yesterday – and how I said them,” he offered, hoping that would soothe the child's protective streak; it did, and he calmed down immediately and gave ground himself.

“She's really upset with you. But she's not the type to hold a grudge, and she usually forgives people pretty easy – especially when they actually apologize,” he said a bit sourly, casting a pointed glare in the direction both males could feel Inuyasha's aura. “I'll stay inside for a while to let you guys talk,” he offered after a moment, and thanking him, Mattaki went off in search of the female that was already running him in circles.

He found her in a small protected niche, her knees folded up and arms around them. The pose only emphasized how tiny she really was, and it tugged at his heart – she looked sad, and tired, and so very lonely. He hated that it was him that had made her look like that, his conscience chastising him heavily and his instincts screaming at him to fix her unhappiness, and as he stepped into her little space, the only thing he could say was, “I'm sorry,” regret thick in his voice.

Blue eyes flashed as she glanced quickly at him before looking away; her arms tightened slightly around herself and the lonely look of her increased, causing him to frown. 

“I... spoke wrongly to you, yesterday, Kagome – I didn't mean to make you feel as though I was accusing you or demanding that you treat someone with respect though she hadn't done the same for you. I actually told her off after you left the room when she'd spoken badly to you, and let her know that she would not be allowed to treat you in such a manner again. I really just wanted peace between you, but I stated it badly, and for that, I apologize most sincerely.”

She didn't say anything for several long moments. When she did, her voice was distant, cool, and it perturbed him; he'd truly lost ground with her, it seemed. “It's your home, as you said, and I had no place questioning you on her visit, nor disrespecting your guests, regardless of their treatment of me. After all, _she_ was invited, meaning you wish to be around her, and I was simply thrust upon you without warning or invitation, the kami forcing you to take me into your care and giving you no choice in the matter. I should have remembered my place and not questioned you, nor spoken so to your guest.”

“You're wrong, you know,” he said quietly, advancing a little more into the space and sitting down. Her answer had upset him greatly, but he would keep calm and answer her words one point at a time. When she shrugged, her posture still screaming 'distant', he continued, knowing he had to make her understand – or she would shut him out, and it could be a long, long time before she opened up to him again. He didn't want to wait for years... he didn't think he could. His instincts and feelings concerning her would drive him insane long before that. “About all of what you said. First... that I had no choice in taking on the place as your protector. They asked, I agreed.”

“Because it was the only way to regain a chance at your life,” she answered quietly, her voice dead and seemingly lifeless.

His frown deepened at the sound of her voice; such a lack of life in it was just so wrong when coming from her that it made him shudder slightly. “Do you really think I regret your presence in my life? If you do, then you are blind.” He drew in a deep breath, trying to control himself, and then continued. “I told you that this was your home, too, Kagome, and you should never have to stand there and let someone speak down to you in it. I would never ask that of you. I wasn't even upset that you'd responded back in the same manner as she'd spoken to you; the only thing that upset me was that you'd used what I'd told you, thinking it to be in confidence - though it's true, I never _specifically_ asked you to treat that conversation as such, and perhaps I should have. And never think that your place here is under anyone elses feet – not even my own. This is as much your home as it is mine or anyone elses, Kagome.” He sighed, then, as he watched her avoiding his gaze. “And your _place_ is by my side... or, at least, that's where _I_ hope it will be – and not just as a friend and equal, either.”

She was quiet again for a moment, her face still turned away and in shadow. “I apologized for that, and said it wouldn't happen again, and it won't,” she replied eventually, still refusing to look at him or open herself to him in any way. She also completely ignored the last part of his statement, focusing only on the mistake she'd made in using what he'd said against Satori.

He wanted to shake her, make her angry, start a _true_ argument with her, _anything_ to _wake her up_ and make that dead-sounding voice come back to life, make her eyes sparkle, and most importantly, to make her look at him, to acknowledge him. For an inu, to have a pack member, which to him she was, turn their back on you or refuse to look at you or acknowledge you was probably the most painful punishment besides actual banishment that they could ever subject you to.

This was really hurting, though he knew that she had no idea what she was doing.

“Kami's sakes, Kagome, do you wish me to beg?” he finally burst out, hoping to startle her into looking at him, into responding to him. “I will if I have to. I could not _be_ more sorry that I let my upset get the better of me than if I'd caused you actual, physical harm. Please, look at me?” he asked, his voice pleading. When she did, a bit startled at his outburst and wide-eyed for it, he continued. “As for wishing to be around Satori...” he trailed off, and then sighed, his eyes fading from pleading to a little sad. “Satori... I believe I already told you that she has feelings for me,” he said, his tone low, and Kagome nodded, but before he could continue, she broke in, this time, her voice an odd conglomeration of misery mixed with anger.

“I had forgotten how things are here in Sengoku Jidai, and when you said you wanted me to be your mate, I misunderstood, I guess. But let me make myself clear: You may find it normal and not at all wrong to have two or even more mates, and if you want Satori as one of your mates, then that's your business,” she said fiercely, not looking at him and with her fists clenching, “but I'm from a world where a person only takes one, and for me to accept a place alongside another would make me no more than a whore. I won't be a whore for anyone, so if you want her, which isn't surprising, since she's as beautiful as you said though her manners suck, then more power to you, but I won't be a part of your little _harem_ ,” she finished derisively, her hands clenched hard around her arms and white-knuckled with tension, “especially since a... a _mate_ is about the only thing I refuse to share!”

It took Mattaki a minute to push through the dazed shock in his mind – that she would think something like that had never once occurred to him, but before he could get angry, his own black blood broke in and forced his conscious to the guilty knowledge of _why_ she might have thought that. He _had_ gotten rather arrogant and secretive when he'd refused to answer her query as to why Sesshoumaru's mother needed to be there, visiting when Sesshoumaru was nowhere to be found. No wonder she was suspicious.

If he had told her yesterday his reasons for inviting the female to stay, he could have avoided this whole mess, and that fact really made him feel like a foolish pup. _Perhaps I need to go a round in the dojo with Inuyasha, only this time, I should let_ _him_ _get a few good hits on_ _me_ _for my baka behavior. I can't believe that I acted as foolish as he usually does... and what does that say for where the brat got it?_ He sighed again, frustrated with himself and the situation. 

He needed to fix this – now.

Reaching out, he grabbed ahold of her stiffening person, and pulled her into his lap. Rumbling deeply and soothingly in his chest, he began rocking her, saying nothing for several minutes as he attempted to relax her tension somewhat. 

Tucking her head under his chin after a few minutes, he was silent for a moment more as he gathered his thoughts, and then said, voice once again full of regret, “No, Kagome. I do not wish for anything of the sort. I have told you that inuyoukai are basically serial monogamists once they are mated or had found someone they wished to mate, and I meant that. I have no desire for more than one woman in that place in my life, and that woman is you.” He nuzzled her temple affectionately as she slumped in his lap and he felt and smelled her tears. “The reason I invited Satori to stay is because I was... unable to simply tell her that you and I are... involved in that manner. I do not wish to hurt her feelings,” he added hurriedly, so she wouldn't take those words wrong and think he was ashamed for people to know of them as a couple. “I could tell, yesterday, when she came, that she was here hoping that she would have a chance at being my chosen this time, and I just didn't want to hurt her by actually telling her that she never would. So I hoped that if she stayed, she would see the intimacy growing between us and would get the message in that way, so that at least she could save her pride the outright rejection.”

Kagome sniffled as she thought about his words, and sighed after a few minutes, finally allowing a great deal of the tension in her body to seep away. While what Mattaki had said yesterday had hurt her, she could admit that perhaps she had reacted a bit over the top to it, moving herself into the servants wing. And she couldn't help her heart softening to him; for how many males, how many _men_ , would go to so much trouble trying to soften a rejection so as to avoid causing a woman unnecessary hurt and humiliation? Not many. It just went to show that, youkai or not, Mattaki had a good, loving, _caring_ heart, his wildness notwithstanding. _Of course, inu are a very affectionate breed of animal, so I guess I'm not too surprised to find that their youkai counterparts have the same good heart._

Finally, after thinking over things for a while, she let the rest of the tension slip away, and returned the affectionate embrace he was trying to wrap her in, snuggling closer to him. She couldn't miss the relieved sigh, or the fact that he cuddled her even closer. _I couldn't be any closer to him unless he was inside my skin with me,_ she giggled to herself, a watery little sound that served to ease Mattaki's tension just that little bit more.

“Do you... _can_ you forgive me, Kagome?” he asked softly. “I will never be able to make you understand just how terrible I feel over what I said, and how I said it. I swear to you right now that I will never take my bad temper out on you again, for that is exactly what I did yesterday. I had... gotten frustrated at Satori for her treatment of you, frustrated that she was even here, and I allowed that to blow up on you. I am so, so sorry.”

Kagome sighed once more, and nodded. “I forgive you,” she returned just as softly. “You don't have to keep apologizing. I think I was more hurt than mad, really, but I'll be okay.” Her brow furrowed and she looked up at him. “But I don't understand why you got all... panicky, you know, when I wouldn't look at you, and why you started basically begging. That kind of thing just doesn't seem like... you.”

His grip tightening on her, Mattaki bent his head and nuzzled her temple, then placed a gentle kiss there before answering. “I am inuyoukai, Kagome, and though I am alpha, I am still a pack-oriented being. When a pack member has misbehaved, the usual punishment is for the other members of the pack to turn away and not acknowledge that member of the pack for a while. You could say it is like a mini-banishment. For an inuyoukai, there is no worse punishment than banishment, or the threat of it. It is a very painful, frightening thing.”

Her frown deepened. “Really? But... but why would you get so upset that I didn't look at you? I'm not pack... I mean, isn't pack like an inu's family?”

Nuzzling further along her temple and down towards her delicate ear, he murmured, “Pack can be family. Basically, pack is those that a particular inu cares for – those the inu loves. A mate, pups... and I want you to be my mate. We are already basically bound together as such, so to me, you are pack. You will always _be_ pack. You are the alpha female to my role as the alpha male, which makes you more pack than any other. My sons are also pack.”

“What about Satori?”

He was quiet for a minute, then said, “Satori... is not pack, not exactly. She's what you could call extended pack, I suppose, rather than true pack. She is, after all, my son's mother, so there will always be that association. And I will always be grateful to her for giving me my son, my heir. Can you accept that?”

She nodded against his chest. “Yeah, I guess so. But... how are you going to get her to understand that you're taken?” she asked. “You don't think that she'll stick around and try to get you to change your mind?”

Mattaki sincerely hoped not. “No... I don't think so. I think that seeing me with you will be a direct hit to her pride, and one thing about Satori, her pride is everything. I think she will leave, hoping that no one realized that she had the hopes of joining with me in the first place, so that she wouldn't feel embarrassed or humiliated.”

Nodding, she opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted by her stomach growling. Her cheeks warmed and she squirmed in sudden embarrassment of her own.

Needless to say, Mattaki was charmed, and he laughed, just so damn relieved inside that he'd managed to get back into her good graces. “I do believe that breakfast is ready to be served at any time, so if you wish, we could go now,” he smiled.

“Haven't you already eaten?” she asked as she stood from his lap and offered him a hand, which he took with a grin.

“No. I could not even think of eating with so much wrong between us.” He looked around to make sure no one was around to hear him, and then leaned down towards her and said, “And besides... I didn't want to be stuck eating with Satori alone, like I was at dinner last night. I tried every trick I know to keep the talk from intimate topics, and when it was over and I made the comment of having some things to see to before bed, she gifted me with a hopeful look – I knew right away what she wanted, that being an invitation to my bed, and all I could do was act like I hadn't noticed her come hither look. It was as embarrassing as hell,” he finished sheepishly, nearly whispering. “I certainly didn't want a repeat this morning.”

Eyes wide, Kagome leaned back and looked at him. “Really? She was really so bold as to...?” she trailed off, just as hushed, and he nodded.

She shook her head. “Wow. I'm sorry you got stuck with her like that,” she practically whispered back. “I won't leave you alone with her again.”

Mattaki grinned down at her and took her hand. “I am so glad you said that,” he laughed as he led her back into the palace, “I had actually wished at one point that we were joined at the hip, so you would _have_ to be with me at all times.”

Hand clapped over her mouth, she giggled, and something inside Mattaki loosened, finally, as her spirit once again sent out waves of happiness and contentment. He decided in that moment that he never wanted it to be so pained, as it was earlier – he wanted her to always simply breathe contentment, because it made everything around them seem brighter. Her happiness was contagious, and the proof was in the kitsune excitedly bouncing down the steps to see them coming towards him – he'd felt her aura return to its normally happy state even from inside, and had come looking to make sure her expression matched her aura for contentment.

Pleased to find that she was, indeed, just as happy as she felt, Shippo nonetheless couldn't let things go without a roundabout warning to the male, and said, “You're just lucky Kagome isn't the type to want revenge,” smartly, before grasping her other hand and leading them inside to where his nose told him the smell of food was coming from.

Metallic eyes gleaming in acknowledgment of the kitsune's words, Mattaki slid open the shoji into the dining room, and the little group made their way into the room to take their seats. He motioned for the servants to begin bringing in the meal as he took his, and before long, even Myouga had decided to show his face, taking a seat near Mattaki and graciously accepting his 'spot' of tea as one servant carefully poured out a single drop into the little nomi's tiny mug.

The beginning of the meal was cheerful and the atmosphere easy – until a certain aura began to make it's way towards them, and suddenly, the little party broke up, Myouga hurriedly draining his mug of the remaining tiny bit of tea and making himself scarce. Mattaki sighed as the two left in the room with him tensed in preparation for the female's entrance. For so long, he'd ignored the effect that Satori had on others, accepting it as just part of the way she was, but perhaps it was time to take her to task about it, instead.

However, now was not the time, and so, as she entered the room, he attempted to distract Kagome from her presence by asking her about her whereabouts during the night, a question he'd had anyway since realizing she hadn't slept in her room at all.

Her response was slightly terse as her manner tensed just that little bit more. “I changed rooms,” she replied shortly. “I was angry, so I had the servants move me to their wing, to a small room away from anyone else.” 

Mattaki blinked, not sure what to say at that point as aggravation warred with upset that she'd felt she belonged among the servants – for any reason. 

Satori took that moment to stick her opinion in.

“Well. Apparently you at least have some intelligence, enough to know your place, anyway, even if others appear to think you should have a higher place than your disgusting humanity would deem appropriate,” she said snidely, her voice heavy with disdain, before turning to Mattaki with a much warmer look. “I hope you slept well,” she said demurely, then purred, “Although I'm sure I could have helped you sleep even better, if you'd have allowed me,” with a seductive look that stunned everyone in the room with its open disregard of the mixed company.

Kagome's jaw dropped open in shock, followed swiftly by belligerence, but she never got the chance to say anything, as Mattaki took that moment to lose his temper – which was something he rarely did with members of the opposite sex. But after the fight with Kagome, and just now managing to patch things up between them, especially since she, Satori, had been the cause of it, he just couldn't allow her to get away with her snide, condescending manner for another moment. It was time to end it, time to put her in her place once and for all.

He was done coddling her, because he'd realized in the moment that she'd entered the room and spoken so snidely once again, despite his words to her yesterday, that he was actually enabling her behavior by not putting his foot down immediately when she tried it. In not wishing to hurt her, he was allowing her to hurt others because of her, well... antagonistic and inappropriately vain and arrogant behavior to everyone else.

“That is the last straw, Satori! What did I tell you yesterday about how you were to treat Kagome? Her place is above you, and you had better learn to respect that, or you tempt the kami into responding in ways that you would not like,” he snarled, not paying the slightest attention to her wide-eyed expression of shock. “As for your little hint about sharing my bed, I really had not wanted to do it this way, but you just don't appear to get the hint, so I will be blunt. Yes, you are beautiful. No, I am not interested in a relationship with you. Your spite and coldness to all those around you leaves me equally cold, Satori - that was why I decided against mating you all those years ago. You treat everyone as though they were little more than the dirt beneath your feet, and this inflated sense of your own worth is not only totally erroneous, but a distinct turn-off, as well. You are not above everyone else, and if you don't come down off the pedestal you've put _yourself_ on, then you will most likely spend the rest of your life alone. Now, while you are in this house, you _will_ treat Kagome, and everyone else, with respect – or you will not _be_ in this house, are we clear?”

He watched the frozen tableau with satisfaction laced with regret that she had pushed the matter to this point, forcing him to finish it in a way he had not wanted to. But he couldn't help the satisfaction that she at least finally knew that he had no interest in sharing a bed – or a life – with her, so he no longer had to be concerned with her interference in his courtship, or his life, ever again. It was no odds that her now shaken pride would have her leaving the estate immediately, and refusing to ever return.

Thoroughly shamed and enraged because of it, the female inu's eyes flashed red and she snarled at him. “Then as it seems you prefer lowering yourself to rut with disgusting humans to having congress with someone actually _worth your time_ , I will leave you to it,” she bit out scathingly. “All I can hope is that _my son_ has not inherited your abhorrent need to indulge in such base proclivities!” she hissed as she turned on her heel and sailed from the room, her head held high and Mattaki's statements about her overweening pride in herself left unaddressed. 

Kagome and Shippo, silent through the entire confrontation, not that it had been a long one, thankfully, stared in fascination as the female left the room, then looked up at Mattaki as he snarled after the angered female, his own need to defend Kagome from the dishonorable words of Satori, and his desire for her to just leave, clashing, leaving him frozen and unable to take out his anger on the one who had brought it forth. 

Kagome, seeing his warring desires, stood up and made her way to his side, her gentle fingers finding his back and smoothing softly over his tense muscles in an attempt to calm him down. It worked, the tension flowing slowly from him as he responded to her touch and her aura as it turned to calming energies, meant to soothe and gentle an upset being.

After a few moments, he sighed, his own reddened eyes draining away to leave behind regretful gold as he stared at the doorway. Once Kagome felt him relax, she slipped around under his arm and smiled up at him tentatively. 

“Are you okay now?” she asked, her voice a little apprehensive.

He sighed once more, noting the kitsune's bristling tail as he did, and drew in his still somewhat agitated youki, before looking down at the woman clutched to his side. “Hai, hai, I am fine.” He glanced ruefully out the shoji. “I had not wanted things to end that way, but her words and attitude to you angered me, and my temper slipped. While I do regret saying things in such a manner, truthfully, they are things that have needed to be said for centuries. I've no doubt that I've now earned her eternal enmity. After all, hell hath no fury as a woman scorned.”

Kagome winced, knowing the truth of that statement, though she herself had never been the vengeful, vindictive type, she knew that many females were – which was why they'd been described as catty. Still, she knew what he meant.

“Well, whatever she tries, we'll just have to weather it together,” she said, with a giggle as the rhyme caught her fleeting attention. “Come on, sit down and let's just finish our breakfast – I hadn't gotten more than a few bites before she came in, and I'm still hungry.”

He allowed her to lead him back to his seat, and smiled reassuringly at the still-wary kitsune, who promptly shook himself and then returned to his own food, but as Kagome sat down, he spoke, ending any chance at a return to a normal meal, as his level tone as he spoke warned them both that there was something left unaddressed, and that was going to be finished now that the matter of Satori had been take care of.

“So... I distinctly recall you saying that you had moved into the servants wing, into a small room away from everyone else, Kagome. Care to explain your reasons for that?”

There was a distinct silence in the room as Kagome exchanged a chagrined look with Shippo, before turning to look at him with reluctance.

“Eh, heh, heh...” she trailed off, then rolled her eyes away from the patiently waiting inuyoukai, and tried to figure out what to say. Especially as she wasn't ready to move back into her original room.

 _This isn't going to be fun,_ she acknowledged with a wince and an inward sigh.

And sure enough, it wasn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a reviewer leave several thoughts last chapter on the many ways I could have Kagome respond to her little tiff with Mattaki – most of them on just how I might have Kagome get revenge on Mattaki for this fight. Now, some writers might take that route. But that would be totally OOC for Kagome, who really isn't the vengeful sort at all. So, no convoluted schemes whereby she and possibly others do mean and ridiculous things to Mattaki in this story, sorry. It's also not my character to go for revenge, either, for something so slight. Now, if I was writing a different kind of story with an OOC Kagome, then that kind of thing might be on my radar, but not in this story. Such a thing would take this way out of what I wanted it to be – a simple romance.
> 
> Still, I hope people continue to enjoy, despite that fact that I didn't make Kagome a vengeful bitch out to make Mattaki's life miserable simply because he said a few things he shouldn't have, with an attitude he normally wouldn't have had. I personally think revenge for such a silly fight is terrible, and a person that would take such a thing so and make it into such a drama-fest is a person that I wouldn't like, nor would I want to be around them. Of course, I detest drama of any kind, anyway, so that's not so surprising.
> 
> Amber


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Despite the fact that Mattaki was upset about Kagome's refusal to return to her rooms from the servant's wing, he managed – just barely – to respect her wishes on it and leave her where she'd put herself, and over the next days and weeks things smoothed out in the palace and took on a peaceful coexistence between all those in the residence – except for Inuyasha, of course.

The moment the boy had woken from his first tussle with his powerful father, red wrath had rained down on the place, and they'd had to go another round in the dojo for Mattaki to pound into the brat just what he expected by way of behavior in his home. Those days were full of either sulky Inuyasha, or outright combative Inuyasha, but as time wore on, even his thick skull began to get the message his father was trying to instill, because his body was simply becoming too tired and sore to heal right anymore, and it was taking longer to do so after each 'lesson'. 

By the third week Inuyasha had been there, sullen seemed to be the order of the day, his body finally having made his mind understand that he simply couldn't keep up with his father, and because of that, he was learning to keep his mouth shut more often. So he sulked, instead, avoiding everyone else there like they carried the plague and keeping to himself as much as he could.

Mattaki did force him to eat at the same time everyone else did, however, or miss out on the meal entirely, and also enforced one other thing – daily training in the dojo. Despite how that sounded, it truly was only training, though of course Inuyasha still got his rear kicked. He left those training sessions with little more than a few bruises and light bumps, instead of major injuries, however, and much as he hated to admit it, he was actually learning things from his father.

Shippo, surprisingly enough, hadn't gone off for any further training, and not really wanting him to leave again, Kagome didn't bother to ask why, though she did join him in watching the training sessions in the dojo. She was quite surprised when the kitsune eventually bucked up his courage enough to ask Mattaki if he could start training him with a sword a little, too. Agreeable to the request, the inuyoukai chose a long knife instead of a katana, which for the tiny kit may as well have been a sword, completely ignoring his son, who had howled with mocking laughter at Shippo's question.

That was, until Mattaki had finished talking to Shippo and giving him his first instructions to go practice on – whereupon he turned and calmly ripped Tessaiga out of Inuyasha's hands with his whip, and proceeded to give him a plain katana, instead, with the statement that until he had learned more than the basics of sword use, which any one hundred year old whelp should already know, he wouldn't be allowed to have the fang – which his father had actually returned to him when he'd been brought back to life - back. Then it was Shippo's turn to howl with laughter. (Kagome snickered, too – she was just quieter about it.)

Inuyasha hadn't taken being separated from Tessaiga well, and once Kagome had stopped laughing at the turn around Mattaki had just delivered to the hanyou, she went to him with concern about keeping the temperamental boy from the sword's calming influence, since it had always been the only thing able to keep his youkai side in check. She was surprised – and immensely relieved - to find that as long as Mattaki himself was around, they had no need to fear him being separated from the fang and going crazy. He'd explained that his aura was all that was needed to keep the boy in check, since he was Inuyasha's sire, and alpha besides, the youkai within automatically submitted to his authority and stayed subdued within him.

Kagome couldn't help the remark that slipped past her lips to the effect that it just figured that Inuyasha's bloodthirsty youkai side was actually smarter than his hanyou side - because at least he knew when to stop fighting and shut the hell up. Mattaki couldn't help but laugh – because it was true.

During those weeks, despite Mattaki's disappointment that Kagome was still in that smaller room so far from him, a lighthearted camaraderie sprung up between the two. It was an easiness of manner that belonged to two people who were courting each other and were slowly growing easy in each others presence – though underpinning that, always just on the edge of consciousness, was the darker burn of heavy attraction and the deeper emotions that accompanied that attraction slowly growing and bonding and binding together.

Since no real outward moves were made by either of the two, though, Inuyasha managed to remain oblivious to the undercurrents between his father and Kagome, but both knew that it was only a matter of time before he caught on, and all hell broke loose. 

The frustrating thing for Kagome was the fact that the temper tantrum that was bound to occur once he did notice, wasn't even because he wanted her for himself, or anything. It was just that he'd gotten used to her wanting _him_ , and liked the way it made him feel, knowing that there was someone that had feelings for him somewhere out there, in defiance of everything he'd always been taunted with.

That knowledge had her of two minds. On one hand, she understood – for someone who had always been told he was unlovable because he was hanyou, that because of his nature, no one would ever want him, to have a woman actually care for him in that manner soothed centuries of hurt and fear of never having that emotion directed his way – of being left alone forever. On the other hand... it was selfish of him to wish to keep her bound to him emotionally, when he did not return the feeling, and never would.

And so, while she definitely dreaded the blow-up that would come when Inuyasha finally did catch on, she almost couldn't wait for it, too, because then the hanyou would realize that he no longer held any control over her heart in such a manner, and she could get on with the rest of her life.

Things stayed on a fairly even keel for about a month, quiet and peaceful in ways that Kagome had longed for since the day that Naraku's part in Inuyasha's past had become known, and he'd become so driven to destroy the kumo hanyou. It was nice to wake up in a bed every day, knowing that she had a roof over her head and didn't have to worry about being caught out in bad weather. Lovely to know that she didn't have to wake early with the knowledge of another day spent with a nagging hanyou as she pushed her body to exhaustion racing across the landscape of Japan looking for shards or hints of Naraku's whereabouts.

However, she did wish to go visit Sango and Miroku, as well as Kaede, before the more uncertain fall weather kicked in. Though fall was her absolute most favorite season, and she wished it could be fall all the time, it wasn't the best time for traveling on foot, what with the constantly changing weather. One day, clear, high blue skies and a cool nip in the air, the next, pouring rain with a frigid bite to it. No, definitely not the best time for traveling.

With all that in mind, since autumn would soon be making its appearance, Kagome spoke to Mattaki about taking a last trip for the year, and he agreed easily, not minding a chance for a little trip in the lovely end of summer weather they were having, himself.

He also secretly hoped that the necessary closeness while sleeping during an outdoor trip would finally push her past her reservations about returning to the rooms he'd originally given her near him in the palace. Yes, he understood what she'd said her reasons were for not being ready to return to them, that being that she needed that sense of space for a while until they'd gotten to know each other better. She had apparently felt a bit uncomfortable and pressured being put in the rooms meant for his mate when they barely yet knew each other. 

But that was some time ago, and they'd spent an intense month mostly together – even when he was training Inuyasha and Shippo, she was there in the room watching, and when he wasn't focused on that, he was focused on her. They'd spent many happy hours talking about their lives, though Kagome did more listening than talking since her life wasn't near as long as his had been, and even more time talking about the world around them, and the things she knew about how the world really worked. He was fascinated with the small things she'd tell him about the future, too, and what was coming, and he'd interspersed all that with little romantic outings here and there, as well. He'd even begun giving her a little hand to hand training of her own, just so that she could fend off an attacker herself if it became absolutely necessary – though he had no intention of ever allowing her to get into circumstances where it did. Still, she picked it up quickly, to his surprise - and pleasure. And in the end, it only helped to foster the growing sense of closeness between them.

The fact was, he felt that they were much closer than they'd been when she'd moved rooms, and he really hoped this trip closed the rest of whatever gap she'd felt the need to put between them. He wanted her back in those rooms, close to him – in fact, he really wanted to just bypass those rooms and have her move directly in to his rooms, if he were being truthful about the matter.

He, like Kagome, however, was very aware that while Inuyasha had not to this point noticed their growing closeness through his anger at his own circumstances, it was only a matter of time until he did, and that like everything else, the boy would end up making an unpleasant stink about the situation. He could only hope that Kagome did not pull away from him because of it, because if she did, Inuyasha was going to be in a world of hurt. He would not be best pleased if the brat's temper threw yet _another_ wrench into his relationship with Kagome.

At all.

Of course, as soon as the decision was made to take the trip, Inuyasha came across with his usual rude comments, though the others simply ignored him, long since used to his eternally grouchy attitude. Finally, six days after first bringing up the possibility, the group made their way out of the palace and headed off in the direction of Kaede's village. Taken at an easy pace, it was a three day trip, and Mattaki was determined to take it at that easy pace, no matter Inuyasha's whining. But by the gods, if the boy didn't quite doing so soon, he was going to smack him so hard he'd never be able to open his mouth again.

“I think you're in trouble, bakayasha,” Shippo grinned evilly. “You're papa is getting that look, like he's tired of hearing your griping.”

Inuyasha shot the kit a nasty glare and opened his mouth to spit some acid back, until his father's deep baritone broke in warningly. “Yes, I am quite tired of hearing you whine, pup, and if you don't shut up, I'll stop this little trek, take you into that nice, big field over there, and spank you _yet again_. Are we clear? From now on, if you cannot find something pleasant to say, then do not say anything at all!” Mattaki snarled.

Inuyasha, angered past his tolerance once more, opened his mouth to snarl back, but before he could get a word in edgewise, he was cut off for the second time – only this time, it was Kagome, who, exasperated past her own ability to tolerate the hanyou's mouth, shouted, “Osuwari!” at him, watching with irritation-laced satisfaction as the beads glowed pink and he hit the ground.

Now, Kagome hadn't used the sit command since Inuyasha had been returned, mostly because she wasn't sure that the beads still worked after Inuyasha had been so foolish as to follow a vindictive specter to hell. But in her ire at his attitude, ruining the otherwise peaceful and beautiful day, she reacted out of habit and spit out the command, not realizing the surprise she was about to deliver to the brat's father.

At first, Mattaki had blinked when she'd spat out that word, wondering why she was using a command that was normally used on a mortal dog. But when the impact of a body hitting the ground in a hard way hit him, he spun around in amazement from where he was facing their path to see his obnoxious youngest son, prostrate in the dirt and frothing at the mouth while Kagome stood over him, a glare on her beautiful face and her hands on her hips, tapping her foot impatiently as she let loose on the pup. And then he let out a hearty laugh, amused more than he could ever remember being in his entire life.

“O-osuwari?” he managed to gasp out around his laughter, causing Inuyasha to turn red with rage and Kagome to blush in embarrassment. “You never once mentioned having this power over the whelp before, Kagome – it is most amusing – and strangely appropriate!”

As Inuyasha snarled, Kagome frowned defensively. “Well, I... err... I just didn't know if the kotodama would still work, after him going to hell and all. But he just made me so mad right now that I couldn't help it. I guess it was just habit.”

“I see,” he said, now down to chuckles, a laughing kit sitting on his shoulder quite comfortably. Amazingly enough, Mattaki and Shippo were a great deal alike, with mischievous personalities that might have led those not acquainted with youkai to mistake the kit for the older male's son. Because of this, Shippo had taken very well to Inuyasha's father, and Mattaki treated the little boy no different than he would any child that he'd taken a particular liking to. To Kagome's softening gaze, it was clear that sooner or later, the kit would be calling the daiyoukai papa, and Mattaki wouldn't mind at all. The two actually seemed to build off each other, one's nature inducing the other to new heights.

Kagome shook her head and sighed, a small smile lighting her face at the chortling twosome, despite the irritation of Inuyasha's grouchiness spoiling her mood. Speaking of which, the hanyou in question had finally managed to climb to his feet, staring belligerently at the two with angered eyes in which hid a kernel of hurt. 

“What, think it's funny to see the half-breed subjugated in the dirt all the time? Some father you are – you treat that little brat more like a son than you do me,” he hissed, before turning away. “Feh. Let's just go – I don't want to look at you all anymore.” He cast a golden glare at Kagome as he turned, one filled with anger and what looked to the stunned girl like extreme dislike. “Stupid wench,” he muttered as he started off and passed by her shoulder.

Kagome stared at him, completely caught off-guard at that look, then grimaced at the hurt that welled up in her heart. “I-Inuyasha?” she stuttered hesitantly, starting to reach out a hand to touch his shoulder, which he brushed aside as he passed her with another glare. She yanked her hand back as though burned, her face falling.

“Don't touch me, wench. You're just like all the others, and everything you said to me was a lie – about you caring 'bout me an' all. But instead, you slam me into the ground and then smile when people laugh at me,” he spat bitterly over his shoulder at her before turning his face away from her and ignoring her.

For Mattaki, the devastated look on Kagome's face was the absolute _last straw._ That brat had no concept of just how his abandonment and death had hurt her, nor how his continued attitude _kept_ hurting her, whether she was still in love with him, or not. Moving so fast he didn't even give the two time to see what was going on, he had them all folded into his light orb and flashing across the landscape before either Kagome or Inuyasha could blink, and after several minutes, he came to a halt, landing softly enough to settle Kagome on the ground gently.

“Come, Shippo, wait with Kagome here, and protect her for me, okay?” he asked the little kitsune, who jumped down from his shoulder and nodded. “I will return momentarily.”

Leaving behind the two who stared after him bewilderedly, he dragged his youngest son off into the trees to a spot in a clearing that looked oddly familiar to the once more stunned hanyou, and yet didn't, and then threw him down quite hard to the ground, leaving him unable to move.

“You claim she does not care for you, and that she never did, eh, you little brat?” Mattaki hissed at the still immobile hanyou. He swept his arms around the clearing and asked, “Do you recognize this place? No? Well, let me refresh your memory.” He leapt into what looked to be a depression in the ground, that was filled at its center by an inscribed monument. “This is the place that you left the world, boy. Right here at the center of this depression is where you descended to hell. This monument? It was created by Totosai, at Kagome's request to mark your ostensible grave, and here she knelt for hours and cried her heart out for your senseless death, despite the fact that you had abandoned her on the battlefield, _desperately wounded_ and without even a word of goodbye or acknowledgment. Who else do you think would have done the same for someone that had betrayed them in such a manner, eh? _You have no place questioning her care of you – ever!”_ he shouted angrily.

Inuyasha could do nothing but stare at the depression, stunned. _That's... that's right. Kikyou opened up the earth and we started to descend, though she vanished and left me alone to meet death._ He shivered. _Kagome..._ Climbing to his feet with difficulty and ignoring the male who was his father, he stepped cautiously closer, his soul feeling chilled to be back in this place, and looked at the inscription. He almost choked.

It was inscribed with his name, and a personal message. _I miss you, and I hope and pray that you have finally found peace. May your spirit live on forever... Kagome._

He swallowed heavily, suddenly feeling every bit the ass his sire kept telling him that he was. He winced as his helpful mind took him over every instance he'd treated her terribly, before Naraku's death and since his resurrection, and he almost wished he could deny what his mind was telling him – but he knew he couldn't, and he felt more ashamed of himself in that moment than he ever had before, because what his sire had said about her tears was absolutely true – he could _still_ smell the stain of bitter tears on the stone monument, even after several months.

“How... how badly was she hurt in the battle?” he finally whispered, too choked up to speak any louder as he asked his father that question. He remembered the battle with Naraku, and he'd known that she'd been injured, but he didn't remember it being anything serious. What had he missed by stumbling after Kikyou without thought the way he had?

“Seriously. Another in her place might have died. It took her some time to heal. Several weeks,” Mattaki answered neutrally, not willing to interrupt the epiphany the boy seemed to be having at the moment. He could only hope that he'd finally managed to get through to him.

“I... I didn't know,” Inuyasha eventually said miserably, his shoulders hunched, unable to look away from that damning inscription. “When Kikyou showed up, I... I wanted to tell her that I'd avenged her, and that she was now free. So I went to her, but I didn't intend... what happened. I was planning to go back to... to Kagome and the others after talking to Kikyou. But I didn't realize what she was going to do, you know, demanding once again that I go with her to hell. And I had told her I would, so when she demanded it, I felt terrible guilt, and honor-bound to do what she'd asked. I...” he hesitated, and then finished, “I think she put a glamour on me to keep me amenable to her wishes, because looking back, my mind was terribly foggy, and I was almost unable to deny her or even remember that there were any people waiting for me to come back.” 

He said it lowly, as if it were wrenched out of him, and in a way, it was. Speaking ill of Kikyou was something new to him, and though he'd thought some awful things of her since being brought back to life and realizing what she'd done to him, he'd not been able to actually admit it aloud – especially in front of Kagome, since she'd tried to warn him many times of the other miko's spoiled hatred of him, and her malicious need for a revenge that was undeserved. He just hadn't wanted to believe...

It was silent for a moment, and then Mattaki suggested quietly, “Perhaps you should tell her that, then. You hurt her terribly with your disappearance, especially in such a manner, and I watched her grieve for many weeks over it. It would probably ease her heart to know that it wasn't entirely your fault that things happened that way.”

Inuyasha nodded, unable to think of anything else to say, and after a moment, Mattaki decided to leave the boy alone with his monument. It seemed to be getting through to him in a way nothing else had, and he hoped it would be the turning point his son needed to begin to learn to treat others better – especially Kagome.

“We will wait for you. When you are ready to leave, we will continue on our way,” he said softly, then turned away and headed for Kagome and Shippo, a small smile on his face at the first actual talk they'd had between them that wasn't filled with curse words and bitter anger on Inuyasha's part. It was a good first step – or so he hoped.

He didn't say anything to the two awaiting his return, simply taking a seat against a tree to wait for Inuyasha to rejoin them. They didn't wait long.

Kagome spied red fire-rat blinking through the trees perhaps fifteen minutes after Mattaki had returned alone, and stood up, ready to continue on their trip. But she was extremely surprised at the agonized glance the hanyou shot her as he approached her, though he looked away quickly, and continued on without saying a word, his father and Shippo joining them as they started back down the road, now heading the opposite direction than they had started out in. Kagome, mystified, looked at Mattaki questioningly, because for the first time in as long as she could remember, Inuyasha's aura wasn't screaming anger, aggression and bitterness. For once... it felt calm, though loaded heavily with emotions she was loath to identify as guilt... and regret. 

What could he possibly be regretting?

But Mattaki still said nothing, simply shaking his head and mouthing 'not now' at her, and still confused, but willing to let things go for now, she nodded amenably, and simply kept pace with her companions.

Camp that evening was quiet, with Inuyasha still very subdued and refusing to really look at anyone; it was clear his thoughts were heavy, and even Shippo knew to leave the hanyou alone with them. Still confused, Kagome couldn't help but wonder what had gone on during those minutes that Mattaki and Inuyasha had been gone. It didn't appear as though they'd fought again, at least, not physically, and because Mattaki had brought them to a different area than they'd stayed in when originally coming to get the Tessaiga from Inuyasha's grave, she didn't realize that was where the two had gone. But whatever had happened, certainly seemed to have left a huge impression on the hanyou, because for the first time since Kagome had met him, he was polite when spoken to, but otherwise kept quiet, and it was clear from his eyes that he wasn't really there in camp with them, at least in mind.

 _I wonder what Mattaki said to him? s_ he wondered, watching him surreptitiously across the fire, noting the downturn of his lips. He really looked unhappy, but it was openly directed at himself in a way it had never been, before, and she could only hope that his father had finally broken through to him. _I really want to see him get the chance to know his father, like he couldn't before. But he's been alone so long, that he just doesn't know how to open himself up to others anymore. He's too afraid to be hurt. I can't say I blame him,_ she thought with sympathetic eyes as she glanced at him again.

The night passed quietly, and morning came, bright and warm, though not hot, a pleasant day for traveling. They were closer to Kaede's village than they had been before Mattaki had moved them, and they were only a half day or so from her, so they would be arriving that afternoon sometime. Kagome was actually very excited to see the old woman – she hadn't been away from her for such a long length of time since the day she'd landed here and set everything in motion, and she'd truly missed her.

Inuyasha was still quiet and subdued, and everyone left him alone, not wanting to re-ignite his temper as they walked in the warm sunshine, an occasional cool breeze keeping the day from being too hot. They decided not to stop at midday, and simply keep on, since they were nearing the village – they would just rest when they finally made it, and nibbled on their rations as they walked. 

The moment they came in sight of the village, over a rise in the land to see it laid out before them, Inuyasha muttered, “I'm gonna go think for a while,” and then took off, but before Mattaki could go after him, Kagome grabbed his arm and shook her head.

“Leave him be, Mattaki. I know where he's going, and it's okay. He always goes there when he's troubled.”

Mattaki hesitated a moment, and then nodded. “Where is this place that he goes?” he asked instead as they continued on their way.

“The Goshinboku. It's where he was pinned, and where I woke him from Kikyou's spell,” she sighed. 

Mattaki nodded. “I see. Though one would think that a place that held such a memory – of being sealed for what should have been eternity – would be a place he would avoid, rather than seek out.”

She shrugged. “He has bad memories there, yes, but good ones, too. And the god tree... it's spirit is calming and gentle. It reaches out to you and encases your heart. I think... that in his sleep, it cradled him gently and soothed his soul, for he came out of his long sleep a bit different than he was when he went into it. Sure, he was angry and bitter, and mistrusting as well – but I think that was mostly just because of what happened. He... softened some, very quickly after we began traveling together.”

Shippo spoke up for the first time in a while. “I don't think that was 'cause of the tree, Kagome. I think that was 'cause of you.”

Kagome blushed a little, but shook her head. “Maybe a little, just because I offered him friendship without asking for anything in return, but... I still see much of the influence of the Goshinboku in his spirit. It's just...” she hesitated a moment, as if searching for words, and then finished, “... he has so much anger, bitterness, betrayal, and _pain_ wrapped up inside, he can't find his way clear of it, and it spills out of him and affects everything and everyone around him.”

“Hn,” Mattaki sighed, thinking on her words. He certainly had a lot of anger, but though he was certain that Inuyasha's life had not been particularly pleasant, he didn't know for sure how truly awful it had been. “Still, it isn't right for him to treat those who've cared for him and helped him in the angry and combative manner that he has. I only hope what I showed him has broken through to him, though I think it has, at least to a point. At least, it's a good starting point.”

At that, Kagome's brow furrowed and she looked at him pointedly. “And just what was it that you showed him? I've waited patiently, but he's not here now, so you can tell me.”

Mattaki twitched his topknot back over his shoulder from where it had blown over in the breeze, and glanced sideways at her, wondering what her reaction was going to be to what he'd done. _Only one way to find out... “_ I took him to his monument. The one you insisted he have, and made him look at it. That last thing he said to you, about you not really caring about him just... after everything I watched you go through over it, for him to say that blew my mind away, and that was the last straw.”

Quiet for a moment, Kagome looked down at her sandal-shod feet and thought about it. After a few seconds she asked, “What was his reaction?” in a soft, curious voice.

Mattaki eyed her cautiously, but she didn't seem angry, so he said, “Shock, at first. When he actually got the nerve up to step close and read the inscription... remorse. Guilt. He asked how badly you were hurt, when I mentioned your injuries after the battle – he told me that he'd known you were hurt, but that he didn't remember it being serious at all. So I told him. He almost seemed to shrink inside himself. And he's been like that-” he gestured vaguely in the direction Inuyasha had disappeared, “-ever since.”

Kagome didn't get the chance to say anything in response, for she could see Kaede's aged form coming out to meet them, her bow clutched in her hand until she caught sight of who was coming towards her, and then she stopped and waited for them to reach her, a large, though puzzled smile on her face.

Dashing towards the older woman with a loud cry, Kagome threw herself into the elder miko's arms and cried, hugging her fiercely and looking her over to see how she was doing. It took a few, but Kaede managed to calm her down.

“My dear, I am fine, and glad to see that ye are, too. But tell me... why did I just a few minutes ago feel a youki that was exactly like-” she paused almost imperceptibly, then finished softly, as though afraid to speak that name too loud for fear of upsetting Kagome, “-Inuyasha's?”

Kagome fidgeted for a moment, and Mattaki chuckled a little at her as he and Shippo approached, but it was Shippo that answered her question.

“It _is_ Inuyasha! His papa was mad at him for all the mean things he did to “K'gome, so he kinda wished that the kami would let him come back to life so he could kick his butt, and the kami came and brought Inuyasha back so he could!” 

Kaede just stared at the three in stunned surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe, just maybe, papa's finally getting through to Inuyasha! But... there's still another obstacle to overcome – and that's letting Inuyasha in on the secret of their relationship... coming next chapter!


	10. Chapter 10

Passing around cups of tea, Kaede met her guests eyes, and after everyone took a sip, she set hers down and said, “So, now, tell me the news. Tell me of Inuyasha-” she glanced down at Shippo with a fond smile, “-in a little more detail, perhaps?”

Kagome looked sideways at Mattaki, uncertain who should answer her query, then settled back when he smiled at her and then turned his attention to the elder miko. “Ah, in that, Shippo was basically correct. I was greatly angered at Inuyasha's treatment of others, Kagome especially, and had wished that the kami had left him to my hand instead of punishing him themselves. One came to me and said that my wish had been heard, and that they were debating amongst themselves on whether to grant it – some wished to keep the original punishment, and others thought it more amusing – and appropriate – to give him over to me. After a few days, another kami appeared, and informed me that my wish was granted, and then returned Inuyasha to my care. He cannot leave my presence until I see fit to release him, or he simply returns to death,” he finished easily, not at all concerned.

Kaede was silent for some minutes, taking that in, and then sighed, and took another sip of her tea. “And I can make a guess that it has not been an easy time of it with him, either. He is very hotheaded and impulsive and carries much bitterness and anger. But I did not mistake the fact that he is not carrying Tessaiga,” she added after a moment, her expression concerned. “Is it really wise to have separated him from its calming influence, especially when he is sure to be highly angry and resentful at being disciplined like a child once more, and by a parent he never even knew?”

“As to that, Kaede-sama, there is no reason for concern. After all, the reason Tessaiga is a seal for Inuyasha's youkai blood is because it is my fang. If my mere fang is capable of doing such, is not my true presence capable of doing even more? Do not worry about Inuyasha's youkai side appearing – he is in some ways a little smarter as a youkai than a hanyou, for his youkai side knows who is alpha, and submits to me. As long as I am around, he will remain subdued and sleeping within.”

“Ah. I cannot deny I am glad to hear that. I remember when Sou'unga took him over – it was not pleasant, though surprisingly, Inuyasha fought him off enough to keep from killing anyone.” She laughed. “I think that devil sword was quite surprised at how 'a mere hanyou' was able to do so in any way at all.”

Mattaki looked interested, and a little concerned, as well. “You mean, Inuyasha was the one to find Sou'unga? How did that happen?”

At that, Kagome spoke up. “Uhm... from what I understood from Myouga and Saya, when you... died,” she said, an uncomfortable expression crossing her face at mention of his death, “he bound himself to the sheath, and the sword was cast into the well that I used to use to travel here from my time. In my era, that well is part of my family's shrine - the whole hill is, including the Goshinboku. The sword was discovered in the well, and mislabeled for some years, my grandfather keeping it in a place of honor in the shrine. One day, he was conducting his annual cleaning, and the seal on the sword was broken, at which point Sou'unga took off, looking for someone to take over. He found Inuyasha with me, and... attached himself to him, recognizing him as your blood and wishing vengeance upon you for controlling him for so long. He tried to force Inuyasha to kill me, but Inuyasha fought him off and abandoned me in an attempt to get back through the well before Sou'unga made him try again,” she said, a grimace on her pretty face at that memory.

“What happened then?” he prompted, seemingly fascinated. 

Shippo spoke up then. “I was waiting at the well for mama-” he fluffed his tail at Kaede's surprised look and grinned, “-to come back, when Inuyasha did. He was bound to that evil sword, and his eyes turned red and he chased me. After a minute, he came back to himself, told me to get away, and then ran off. After taking out part of the village with the Dragon Twister, he managed to regain his control and took off. Miroku said that it was because Inuyasha wanted to get far away from any people so the sword couldn't try to make him hurt anyone.”

“Hnn,” Mattaki intoned after a moment, obviously thinking. “So how did he manage to get unbound from Sou'unga?”

“That was me,” Kagome said quietly. “I started to purify the sword, and he rejected Inuyasha and basically high-tailed it out of there to get away from me.”

Mattaki blinked, then blinked again, looking very surprised. “You... were purifying him, and he took off? You forced him to retreat?” he asked.

Kagome frowned at his surprise, wondering at it. “Ye-es,” she drawled out slowly. “Why are you so surprised?”

Shaking his head, Mattaki couldn't help the almost awed look that came over his face as he looked with new eyes at Kagome. After a moment, he said, “Back when Midoriko was alive, wishing to rid the world of Sou'unga's presence, I had her try the same thing. Sou'unga didn't even twitch. He just growled at her and fought back. She was unable to purify him at all, and just touching him made her ill. You now have the singular honor of being the only thing, besides myself, that Sou'unga ever feared, let alone ran from, in his millenia of seeking domination.”

Everyone in the hut stared at Kagome, who twitched and blushed, looking down at her fingers twisting in her lap uncomfortably. “Eh, w-well, that's no reason to stare,” she stuttered, still blushing profusely at the admiring look in Mattaki's eyes.

“Mama's always been strong when she needs to protect someone,” Shippo said proudly. “Like in the final battle, when she purified Naraku's giant body, the Shikon no Tama, _and_ all the shouki that fell all over the whole place – with _one arrow_!” he said admiringly, bristling with pleasure at the still awed look on Mattaki's face. He was obviously very proud of the woman he called mother, and pleased when others looked on her in such a way.

Mattaki's expression changed to a soft one, and he murmured softly, “ _Do you have something to protect?_ Those are the words I spoke to Sesshoumaru before going to my death so long ago, and in you, those words are made flesh, my love,” he said, his own eyes proud to claim such a powerful heart as his. “He could do no worse than watch you to learn what I tried for so long to teach him.”

Kaede looked startled to hear the daiyoukai address Kagome so, and then the look faded into a wry, affectionate acceptance as she looked fondly over at a blushing Kagome. _I should not be at all surprised that one such as this male has fallen to Kagome's heart. All the legends of him told of his own heart, and hers is akin to his. And with such proximity as they are now bound to for the rest of time, it is only a kindness that they would come to be bound to each other in all ways. I clearly see the hand of Omoikane-kami-sama in this situation,_ she sighed to herself. _With Kagome's loving heart, I can only thank the gods that they have given her someone to love who is just as eternal as she is – someone she will not have to face losing to death and the Wheel of Time. I will make offering this evening in the shrine, in thanks for their kindness to her._

“Sesshoumaru has already learned that lesson, I think, Mattaki. And not from me, but from his little ward, Rin.” Kagome glanced over at Kaede. “Where is Rin, anyway?” she asked, her brow furrowed as she realized that she hadn't seen the girl.

“As to that,” Kaede answered, “Sesshoumaru-sama came by a week ago or so, and took her off with him for a time. He said he would return with her before the fall rains come, and I gathered that he wished to spend the last part of the warmer weather with her before winter comes.”

Mattaki looked fascinated at the conversation, not really knowing about Sesshoumaru's life, or who was in it. “Who is this Rin?” he asked. “You call her his ward...” he prompted further.

Kagome hesitated, then said, “I don't know the whole story. Apparently, he had picked her up somewhere, and Naraku, being the bastard he was, decided to use her to try to force Sesshoumaru's hand into killing Inuyasha, with the threat of killing Rin if he did not. Sesshoumaru, as I'm sure you can guess, didn't take well to that whole episode, but to all our astonishment, instead of leaving her to her death, he went after Naraku to get her back – but when Naraku was overwhelmed, and instead threatened her with death if Sesshoumaru chased after him, Sesshoumaru chose to go after Rin, instead – he chose to protect her rather than finishing his opponent. It left us all astonished... especially as Rin is a young human orphan.”

Stunned delight held Mattaki still for several long seconds, and then he asked, “If he cares for her, why does he leave her here?” he asked.

“He said it is to learn to live as humans do, since she was so small when she came to him, and has been with him for some time, just following as he travels. That way, he said, when the time comes, she may choose which path she wishes.”

At that, Mattaki's eyes widened in shocked disbelief. “He said that?” he asked with a peculiar intensity. “ _Exactly_ that?”

“Ye-es,” Kaede responded slowly. “Why is such so surprising to you?”

“Unbelievable,” Mattaki whispered, obviously still stunned and trying to take it in. After a moment, he caught the others impatient looks, and sighed. “He is giving her the choice between life as a human, or life... with him. When she is of age, he will come to her and ask her which she wishes, and if she chooses to go with him, then... he will take her as his mate,” he breathed, a smile crossing his face as he realized that his son had finally learned what he had tried so hard to teach him. “He sees her as his, but without some emotion there, he would simply keep her with him, whether she chose him or not. He... he loves her, and wishes her to have the choice. While his love for her is platonic at this time, his instincts have whispered to him that when she ages, that will change. I never thought I'd see the day,” he finished, so pleased he was grinning, not surprised to see the shocked faces surrounding him.

“B-but... but...” Kagome stuttered, unable to get out what she was trying to say. 

Mattaki understood, though. “How old is this child?” he asked.

“Now? We are not totally certain, but probably around ten or eleven. It's been pretty much three years now since we started seeing her with him,” Kagome replied.

Mattaki nodded. “Yes. I am certain. When she comes of age, he will give her the choice. So, perhaps five, or six years from now...” he trailed off and looked at Kaede. “This girl... how does she act with him?”

“She adores him,” Kaede said, patting a now snoozing Shippo on his back. The little kitsune had grown bored with the discussion and dropped off for a nap. “She always speaks of him, calling him Sesshoumaru-sama, and it is Sesshoumaru-sama this, and Sesshoumaru-sama that. She also trusts him implicitly and fears him not at all.”

“You're right, she does,” Kagome broke in, her mind taking her back to that confrontation that Sesshoumaru had with warrior monks who tried to take Rin from him. “One time, I'm not sure how, but Rin was captured by some monks, and they tried to force her to go to a human village. She called out for him, and he responded, coming for her. When the monks tried to purify him, he defeated them, though oddly without killing any of them, now I come to think of it, and then told Rin that she could follow if she chose. Always, he protected her, but he _also_ always gave her the choice to stay with him or not – and she always chose to stay by his side.”

Kaede nodded. “Hai, I am not surprised. Even now, she would follow him if he allowed it, through winter snows or not. She misses him greatly when he is gone, but one thing I have noticed – he is never far away, though she does not realize it, I don't think.” At that, she looked thoughtful for a moment. “Then again, perhaps she does. At any rate, he protects this place, because she is here. I must admit, it has been nice not to have to worry over bandits or youkai attacking. At least, while she is here, anyway,” she finished ruefully.

Mattaki sat back with an elated look on his face. “I would enjoy meeting this Rin. I am certain that one day, she will indeed be his. The love she feels for him will soon change; when her heart becomes adult, it will turn even more strongly to him.”

Kagome exchanged a surprised glance with Kaede, not sure what to say to the whole thing. While she'd known that Rin had indeed softened the inuyoukai, she hadn't ever thought it had gone quite _that_ far. Apparently, neither had Kaede, from the expression on her face. 

“Well,” the younger miko eventually said, “that _is..._ news. But I suppose one can't underestimate the power of a faithful heart. And Rin is most certainly that.”

Kaede bobbed her head in agreement. “She is at that.”

Mattaki couldn't rid himself of the satisfaction he was feeling that at least one of his sons was finally going to be taken care of. That he would know what it was to be loved without thought or expectation – simply for who he was. He glanced at Kagome as she spoke to the elder miko, and that satisfaction increased. His own future was assured, as well.

But then his grin soured a little as he thought about his youngest pup, and he sighed, sincerely hoping that the boy would straighten out, so that one day...

He broke into the two women's conversation with a polite clearing of his throat. “I think that I wish to go find Inuyasha and see this place he was pinned,” he said, and Kagome blinked, then nodded.

“I can show you-” she was cut off as he smiled and shook his head.

“No, my dear, you stay here and enjoy your visit. I can find him easily enough, you know,” he said, twitching his nose a little, and Kagome giggled.

“Okay,” she said, before turning back to her conversation.

He stood and made his way to the door, pushing aside the matting and stepping outside, only to let it fall back with a clatter as he stood on the step and scented the air. Within seconds, he'd caught the scent of his pup and was gone in a swirl of white silk, leaving surprised villagers staring at Kaede's stoop and wondering if they'd really seen what they thought they'd seen.

~oOo~

They stayed in the village for three days, Inuyasha coming in to greet the elder miko he'd known while Kagome and Shippo were showing Mattaki through the village and introducing him to the village elders, his manner quiet and still subdued. It was an amazing difference, but no one was really sure what to make of it, since he still hadn't said much of anything to anyone.

It was, perhaps, not surprising that the one he opened up to first was Kaede, since she'd been so intimately involved in everything that had happened in his life after he'd met Kikyou. She'd been there often when he was with the older miko, she'd been there the day he got pinned, and her older self had been there the day he was woken up. She had been the one constant thing in his life for over fifty years, even though it hadn't always been in the best way, and so her presence was soothing to that part of him that was always so wild and lonely.

She was like an older aunt or something, or so he told her, after thanking her quite politely for being there for him, for all of them, sharing her small home with an open heart while they were all on the hunt for Naraku, and giving of herself and her time in ways they'd definitely needed.

She couldn't help but ruminate after he'd left and gone back to the Goshinboku that she greatly preferred this Inuyasha to his much more brash, temperamental, moody and sarcastic persona, and everyone else couldn't help but agree.

They all hoped, of course, that this change presaged even greater changes to come in him, but none more than Kagome and Mattaki. Both just wanted him to find happiness for the first time in his life, and if he could finally settle down and just allow it, he might.

It was on the morning of the third day as they readied to head to the slayer's village that disaster struck.

While Mattaki was off waking Inuyasha from his perch in the Goshinboku so that they could get ready to leave, an oni, one who seemed to have learned to hide his scent and aura a little too well, attacked – and Kagome being Kagome, was out of Kaede's hut and into the fight before the elder miko could even grab her bow.

As the villagers ran screaming in the opposite direction, she ran straight at it, and coming to a halt on the verge above the village, she nocked her bow and drew down on the beast. Unfortunately, before she could line up the shot, it saw her and recognized the danger and one huge fist swung straight at her, moving so fast she barely had a chance to even see it, let alone get out of the way.

She was just bracing for impact when Mattaki arrived, red-eyed and enraged, and tore into the beast like a rabid dog, stunning everyone into stillness. Within moments, the oni was gone, nothing but a smear on the landscape, a ferally charged Mattaki standing over its remains with a snarl still creasing his face. It wasn't until Kagome finally managed to get past her frozen shock and cleared her throat that he moved.

In a flash of white, he was on top of her position, and she gulped, because she'd never seen him so angry before. _What..._

“Woman, if you _ever_ do something like that again, I will turn you over my knee and blister your ass!” he shouted, fangs elongated and eyes haloed red. _“What did you think you were doing?!”_

“Er, uh... protecting the village?” she squeaked, too stunned to say anything else.

“By getting yourself pulverized?! I _had_ thought you quite intelligent – was I wrong?” he snarled sarcastically.

Now _that_ managed to unstick Kagome's tongue and her temper, and she flushed red and clenched her fists, glaring right back at the enraged daiyoukai as everyone else watched on, including a wide-eyed Inuyasha, as well as Shippo and Kaede – and half the village.

“Now wait just a damn minute!” she snarled right back. “What did you think I was gonna do – run and let others get hurt?! I'm a miko-” came the indignant scream, “-and this is what I'm supposed to do! I'm _supposed_ to protect people, especially from rampaging demons!”

“Not by putting yourself in harms way!” he roared. Apparently goaded beyond his ability to control himself, he reached out and grabbed her, pulling her into his hard frame. Glaring down at her with a frightened expression that shocked her speechless once again, he asked, his voice suddenly full of anguish, “What if something _did_ manage to kill you? What would I do? Where would that leave me, Kagome? Don't you _ever_ do that again!” he cried, before slamming his mouth down on hers, kissing her with a desperation that completely overwhelmed her.

She reached up and wrapped her arms around him after the first stunned moment, her knees going weak as he kissed her deeply, passion exploding between them in a manner she had never known it could, and she forgot everything around her – the villagers looking on with shocked eyes, Kaede, who just smiled knowingly and took a blushing Shippo back into her hut... and a gaping Inuyasha, who was still holding his katana in a limp grasp and staring at the kissing couple in immobilized shock.

Mattaki, also, in that moment had forgotten the presence of his son, though in the state he was in, it wouldn't have mattered to him if he had remembered. The sight of that huge fist heading for Kagome's fragile body had wiped every thought from his mind – including the fact that even were she injured, she wouldn't die, and even if she had, there was still Tenseiga. Of course, there was also getting to Sesshoumaru and getting it from him, though Mattaki knew that wouldn't be a problem. Still, that visual had frightened the life out of him, and he'd simply come unglued, yelling at her and then grabbing her with little thought to their surroundings.

When he finally managed to pull away due to a lack of oxygen, Kagome was flushed and panting, her eyes sparkling and a lovely shy smile lighting her features, and he stared at her, his whole body tight with tension and drenched in the scent of her desire and his own... and that's when he caught sight of his son, and realized that the neko was now out of the bag as regards he and Kagome's growing relationship.

Kagome noticed Inuyasha about the same time Mattaki did, and her smile faded and she winced at the look on his face. “Uhm, er... Inu... yasha?” she asked carefully after pulling away from Mattaki and smoothing a hand down her clothing, her blush deepening. “Are... are you okay?”

Her only answer was the light breeze that had sprung up whipping her hair back over her shoulders as Mattaki's silver topknot brushed over his seemingly reaching for her. She shot the daiyoukai an agonized glance, and Mattaki, frowning now, turned to fully look at his son with a concerned expression.

“Have you lost your voice, Inuyasha?” he asked, wondering what the boy's next reaction was going to be. He ran the gamut through his mind, from a simple rant to attacking him...

But he wasn't prepared for what actually happened.

At the prompting of his father's voice, he finally blinked, then snapped his mouth shut and stared closely at the two, sniffing openly as his eyes narrowed at what his nose was telling him. “Keh... and when did this... _this_ start, eh?” he asked suspiciously.

“Before you ever returned,” Mattaki answered back, still on alert waiting for whatever reaction was coming.

Inuyasha's eyes went far away and he began muttering to himself. As the two watching stared at him almost apprehensively, he just shook his head, sheathed the sword, and turned to go to Kaede's hut. “You know what? It just isn't worth it,” came ghosting back over his shoulder as he walked away. “I don't even want to know.”

Both people left behind were completely dumbfounded. Both had thought that the reaction would be much worse, and when that 'worse' didn't materialize, neither really knew what to make of it, exchanging confused looks with a hint of -did that really just happen?- in their eyes.

“Uhmm,” Kagome began, pausing as she found she really, really didn't know what to say. 

“Indeed,” was all Mattaki could think to return, and both blinked at each other, still feeling as though they were lost in what Kagome would call the Twilight Zone. After a moment, he shook his head and smiled ruefully. “Well, that went... _differently_ than I thought it would.”

Kagome looked at him, then at the disappearing Inuyasha's back. “Yeah... no kidding.”

After staring at Inuyasha's vanishing fire rat, the two looked at each other again, and then Kagome flushed once more as Inuyasha was replaced in the order of her thoughts by that kiss... and what had preceded it. _He... he looked so frightened that something would happen to me,_ she thought, just a bit incredulously. It was still hard to believe sometimes that someone that looked like him, who could have anyone he wanted, seemed to really want her so much. 

After a moment, she smiled a little, her eyes dropping shyly as his warmed again on her. “Uhm... I'm sorry I worried you,” she said softly. “I didn't mean to... but you know that's who I am. I would never forgive myself if I were to run away from a fight and people got hurt.”

Mattaki sighed ruefully, his thoughts the other day on Kagome and her need to protect those she cared for coming to the forefront of his mind, and he inwardly acknowledged that she really had acted perfectly in character by coming out to defend the village from such a threat. And she wasn't going to change, just because he wished she would avoid danger. Truthfully, he didn't really want her to change... but he also didn't want her to ever be in such danger again. He would just have to be much more careful from now on.

“I know. But... you know what you did in this instance was foolish, Kagome. For if you had been hit, the oni would simply have gone on rampaging and destroying everything, and you would not have been able to do anything about it. What good would you have done for them if you had been sidelined in such a manner?” he asked her, hoping she would see his point and understand what he was telling her.

At that, Kagome had the grace to look sheepish, knowing he was right. She had been foolish getting so close to it. She should have lined up the shot from much further back. She looked down at her feet and nodded. “You're right. I was startled, caught off-guard by how it suddenly just appeared so close to the village, and reacted without thinking. I'm sorry.”

He nodded after a moment of watching her. He had to smile a little at her remorseful expression, and with a final sigh, let the episode go. He held out his hand to her, and she took it with a return smile, and they slowly walked back to Kaede's hut to grab their last items and head out for the slayer's village, which would take two days to reach at their easy pace.

Kagome had planned on spending four or five days there, before heading back home, which put them back at the estate in approximately a quarter of the moon cycle – good timing for beating the less comfortable fall weather that would soon be on its way in. He estimated that within half a moon cycle, to perhaps three quarters, the weather would turn and it would become too cold and wet to travel comfortably.

He would be quite happy to be indoors for the colder weather, because even though youkai didn't feel cold in the same way that humans did, they certainly felt it, and weren't any better than humans when it came to getting drenched in the heavy fall rains. While he could survive quite easily out in it, that didn't mean he would enjoy it, and he would be much more comfortable in out of the winter weather.

There was also a suspicion that Sesshoumaru might come and stay for some time during the winter, and he would appreciate seeing his son for a longer period than he had so far. But there was also a downside to this... and that was the relationship between his sons. Sesshoumaru would probably let his dislike of Inuyasha's actions be known, though he had learned since that there were somewhat mitigating factors, still, his eldest was quite the stickler for honor and less forgiving for that, and wouldn't really consider the dead miko using a glamour on his mind as an excuse. And it was not even a question that his youngest's inflammatory temper wouldn't handle his brother's scorn well.

It seemed that he couldn't win when it came to his sons – if either were anywhere near the other, things were more than likely going to go downhill. He growled inwardly. Perhaps he could spend the next century working on that problem? Because it would probably take that long for the two to be able to be polite to each other when in proximity and in mixed company.

He glanced at Kagome and smiled slightly again at her questioning look, but just shook his head as he reached out and pulled back the matting on the hut for her after tapping on the doorframe and being beckoned inside. “Later,” he mouthed, and looking mystified, she signaled compliance before entering the hut with a smile.

A short time later saw the group taking their leave of the elderly woman, Kagome hugging her with words of visiting again come spring, leaving Kaede with a smile as she waved off the small group heading west towards the slayer's village with exhortations to give her regards to Sango and Miroku - as well as a rather generous gift of certain herbal remedies for any illnesses the winter might bring on.

It was silent for a time as they walked along in the early morning sunlight, each person seemingly lost in their own thoughts, but though Mattaki seemed perfectly at ease, someone else wasn't.

Kagome couldn't help but be apprehensive as they began the trip, walking along with Inuyasha after what he'd seen earlier, and then his strange reaction. It just wasn't... him. Inuyasha wasn't really the type to be so... _calm_ about something he had definitely been so shocked by.

Surprisingly, it was Shippo that forwarded the conversation, though for once, he wasn't being antagonistic towards the hanyou in doing so – he started it all out with a question – but one that couldn't help but pull Inuyasha into the discussion.

“So when are you gonna take mama as your mate?” he asked Mattaki out of the blue, his tail twitching. 

Kagome fumbled in mid-stride at the question, flushing deeply and staring from the kitsune to the hanyou with wide-eyes as Inuyasha also paused in his stride at the question and twitched, before continuing on silently – though he was listening carefully, as evidenced by his openly backward pointed ears.

Mattaki seemed to be the only one not bothered by the question.

“When she decides she's ready,” he responded calmly, though he was keeping a close watch on his son for any... unpleasantness.

At that, Shippo turned unblinking green eyes on his adoptive mother and pinned her with them, causing her to blush deeper _._ “Well,” he said doubtfully, “humans usually take a long time to get around to doing things like that, but maybe she won't take _too_ long.” It was apparent that though Shippo was young, he somewhat understood that Kagome's slow courtship was giving the daiyoukai a hard time of it, and was trying to be encouraging. 

It made Kagome suddenly realize something she'd not thought of previously. That was that Mattaki was youkai, and that her lengthy way of doing things was probably most difficult for him to deal with... as difficult to deal with for him as his speedier ways were for her. When he'd put her in the rooms meant for his mate within weeks of meeting her, she'd felt pressured and uncomfortable with how fast he seemed to be moving. And when she'd pushed back against him, he'd bowed to her wishes, but with Shippo's words, she'd had her attention forcibly trained on just how difficult he might be finding dealing with her withdrawal and need for time and space.

She felt badly all of a sudden, because despite the fact that this was apparently difficult for him, he'd respected her wishes and held himself back from her. A guilty look crossed her face, then, and she sighed. 

“You know... it probably would have been easier on you if I were youkai, wouldn't it?” she asked, though the question was really more of a statement, and the others walking with her understood that. “I... don't mean to be making things hard for you.”

Mattaki opened his mouth to respond, only to be cut short by a snort from the heretofore silent hanyou.

“Feh. He'll live. Humans are different. If you wanna court one, then you have to deal. Simple as that,” he said shortly, and in his tone it was apparent that he was not terribly happy with what was happening.

Kagome was definitely surprised at the fact that he wasn't already yelling.

Inuyasha continued, not looking at his father or Kagome. “What I don't get, is what brought this on in the first place. Is it really Kagome that you want, or is it just the convenient circumstances, along with a fetish for humans? 'Cause it seems awful convenient to me, ya know, all this.”

Glaring at the back of his son's head, Mattaki cast a sideways glance at Kagome to see her reaction to Inuyasha's words, scowling when he saw her frown. “What is the problem, boy? Is it just that you can't understand someone finding her attractive in her own right, and wishing to be with her?”

“Keh!” he snapped, glaring over his shoulder at his father at that. “Don't go feeding words in my mouth! That ain't it at all. I jus' want to know the truth. Why do you want her?” he prodded intently, obviously looking for something, though Kagome couldn't figure out what, and why he was goading his father the way he was. 

She sighed inwardly – had their bout of peace finally come to an end, and angry Inuyasha decided to return?

On the other hand, from the suddenly knowing glint in golden eyes trained on his red clad son, Mattaki seemed to have figured out what he was looking for, and decided to answer the question in uncompromising and open terms.

“Because I love her, Inuyasha. Are you satisfied now?” he replied calmly, not at all perturbed to have said something so surprising so openly. 

The reactions were varied, and quite interesting. Shippo merely grinned, already knowing how the daiyoukai felt, due to his actions. Kagome choked, her face paling and then going a charming cranberry as she stared with wide-eyes at the inuyoukai – even as she came to a halt on suddenly shaky legs.

Inuyasha... Inuyasha just stiffened as he also came to a complete halt, not moving or seemingly even breathing for long moments.

And once again, they were all waiting on Inuyasha, and his reaction to the fact that the woman who'd loved him for so long, had moved on – and to his father, of all people. 

Had the shock finally worn off from what he'd witnessed earlier?

Were they just now going to get the _real_ reaction from him?

The only one not noticing Inuyasha was Kagome – because she was having trouble even breathing right at that point, thanks to Mattaki's unexpected and casual revelation of his feelings towards her.

She dimly wondered whether she'd ever be able to breathe again as those words tumbled around in her head...

Much as they were in another head – one with a pair of now madly twitching puppy ears set atop it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaannd cliffie!


	11. Chapter 11

“You... _love_... Kagome?” Inuyasha asked, a peculiar intensity in his voice, though he didn't turn around for the others to catch a glimpse of his face. 

“Is that so hard to believe, Inuyasha?” Mattaki asked curiously, not able to understand his son's seeming incredulity. What was the big deal? 

“That ain't why I'm askin'.” His shoulders hunched, but he still refused to turn around. “Keh. I want to make sure that she gets treated right – like I didn't do. I owe her a lot, and while I ain't gonna pretend I'm happy about this, I also ain't got no right to say anything about it – unless you weren't bein' honest with her.”

Kagome, who was still reeling from Mattaki's disclosure, barely noticed what was being said – until she heard what Inuyasha's response to his father's question was, and then her eyes softened when she took in his words. However, knowing that he probably wouldn't react well if she were to say anything about it in front of everyone, she kept quiet, and let he and his father talk it out.

She would talk to him later.

“One thing you will find is that I do not lie. I do not see the purpose. And I would most definitely not lie about something like this – there would be no point,” Mattaki replied, his voice still calm and easy. “But I cannot help but wonder why you do not like 'this', as you say.”

The hanyou tensed, his ears flickering as he tried to stretch out the tension in his shoulders after a loaded moment. He shrugged. “I dunno why. I just don't. But I guess I'll get used to it. Not like I've got a choice, eh?” When it stayed silent, he shoved his arms in his sleeves and then glanced over his shoulder at the three, his expression dark but oddly calm. “Keh. We should keep moving,” he said as he proceeded to do just that, not waiting for anyone to say anything else. It was clear he didn't want to talk about the subject any further, and after a moment, the others followed along behind, letting him get a little ahead as he seemed to want to do.

It was quiet for a while, even Shippo just enjoying the day and the ride he was getting on Mattaki's shoulder. Besides, he was content. He knew that his adoptive mother would forever be taken care of, now – her days of misery at Inuyasha's side were now over.

It was about time, if you asked him.

Mattaki was becoming a little curious as time went on and Kagome still did not say anything about his confession. He was not worried that she would turn him away, but it was certainly a Kagome move to hide her head in the sand when something was said that she didn't know how to handle. He chuckled inwardly at her propensity for blushing, and knew that if he brought up his statement, she would instantly flush a deep cranberry color across her cheeks that would then move down her neck and even further. _One of these days,_ he mused to himself, _I'm going to make her blush while she's undressed just so I can see how far down that blush goes._

The naughty thought had his body instantly at attention, and he sighed quietly as he discreetly tried to adjust himself. Males were cursed with painful and highly visible signs of arousal, and it made walking and even sitting difficult, if not almost impossible. He pulled out carefully selected desire numbing mental pictures, and after a while, he was able to walk more normally again, his stride evening out once more.

Kagome, of course, had no idea what was running through Mattaki's head, for her own thoughts were running around in circles screaming their heads off. She couldn't think with any coherency whatsoever, the only thing able to make itself heard over the screaming being... _He... what?_

Finally, after a good hour of silence, Mattaki sighed and glanced down at his side to the young woman that walked there as though she always had. It felt so right to have her there, as though with her presence, everything that was important in his life had finally fallen into place. He knew that he never wanted to be separated from her again – no one else would ever fit in that place by his side as perfectly as she did. They couldn't.

“Did my words really shock you so greatly, Kagome? You already knew that this was the direction we were heading in. So why are you so stunned?” he asked quietly after sending Shippo to float on ahead a little ways – though he exhorted him to stay near Inuyasha and not get too far ahead.

Flinching a little at the subject she'd known was coming, Kagome flushed just as Mattaki had known she would, and refused to look up. She didn't know why she was so embarrassed, but she was, and she couldn't seem to help it. But she had to admit... it was far better to be embarrassed at a declaration of love, then to have that feeling for someone oneself, and be rebuffed, like she had been with Inuyasha. And even though she'd long since realized that it hadn't been real love, still... there was no denying that it was a very painful thing to be rejected. At least she did not have to fear such a fate with Mattaki.

She drew in a deep breath and forced herself to meet his inquisitive gaze. “Yes, it did shock me. I know... that we've been, you know, courting, but... for you to just come out and say such a thing, especially to someone else... I guess I feel cheated, in a way. You didn't even tell me first – it was like finding out in some backhanded fashion. Like the whole thing was no big deal.”

He looked surprised at her words, and then what she was saying filtered into his mind, and he sighed, suddenly feeling badly. It hadn't occurred to him when he was facing Inuyasha that she would feel so about it, though looking at it now, in hindsight, he should have realized. He should have taken her aside, in private, and told her how he felt before ever speaking of it to another.

In his defense, however, he was _so_ comfortable with that feeling - because it was something he'd felt for some time, now. It almost felt like something that had been a part of his reality for years, rather than mere months, and he'd simply forgotten that he'd not actually told her how he felt in so many words – in some ways, her surprise was surprising him. How could she not know how he felt? He may not have said it outright, but he showed it all the time – and he _had_ called her 'my love' quite a few times. Did she think that he said it without actually meaning it? 

“I had not thought of it from that viewpoint, Kagome, and I am sorry. For me, the knowledge of those emotions is comfortable and feels as though I have felt this way for years – it does not feel like a new circumstance. But I was not trying to make you feel as though you lost out on hearing of my feelings from me in a more private setting. Can you forgive me?” he asked, his sincerity shining through, and Kagome shrugged after a moment, looking away.

“It's not like being angry will change it,” she sighed. “What's done is done.”

“I am confused, though, I must admit,” he said after a moment. “I have called you 'my love' many times – did you not take me seriously?”

She shook her head, her eyes now firmly on her feet as they walked along. “Well... I mean, I just took it as a casual endearment, you know, like 'dear', or something like that. Not as in strictly _'my love'_.”

“Casual endearment?” he echoed, taken aback. “What is casual about loving someone? I must confess, I _really_ do not understand now. Do humans speak so to each other, saying such things without really meaning them? I would never call someone 'my love' that wasn't. It seems to me that is the same as lying.”

Kagome blinked, then swung an odd look his way. “Do youkai take everything so seriously?” she asked. 

“Do humans take everything so casually?” he returned, and watched as she stared blankly at him. He let out an exasperated breath. “I would never use such an endearment to one that I didn't love, Kagome. It would be a lie if I claimed to love someone, and yet, did not. Yes, youkai take such things seriously. To play with a youkai's emotions is not a good thing - we are primal beings, and we feel emotions differently than humans. In some ways, we feel them more intensely, because they engage every part of what makes us youkai. I would not want to have a person call me 'my love' and not mean it seriously.”

“Oh.” Kagome looked down at her feet again, watching the little tendrils of dust that poofed up as she walked idly, her mind dwelling on what he'd just told her. “That would explain why youkai are always so intense,” she murmured.

“Yes. Intense. It is a good word to describe the youkai. We live intensely, and feel intensely. If we feel something, we feel it strongly, passionately. Never could our passions be described as minor, weak, or soft.” His eyes flashed. “I will tell you now, when it is only for your ears to hear – I love you, Kagome. And it is not a soft love. It is not an _easy_ feeling. It is strong, and passionate, red, and full of fire. It calls to my blood, _you_ call to my blood. And once something inspires a youkai's passion, we do not give it up. I will not let you escape from me, _my love_ ,” he said deliberately, drawing her gaze up again as it locked with his. “Not ever.”

Kagome could feel her own blood rising at what he'd just said, and from the heated and hungry look in his eyes as they pinned her. She was flushed deeply, a visible effect of his words, but there was a less visible effect, as well, and as Mattaki scented her shy desire, his eyes once again flashed, and he had to forcibly clench his fists to keep his hands to himself – he wanted nothing more in that moment than to grab her up and run off with her. He had an excellent memory, and he hadn't forgotten _one detail_ of what she looked like without clothing – he wanted to see her that way again. Naked – only this time, naked, and in the throes of passion. He lived for that day, and it was coming, soon. _Very_ soon, from the scent curling off her body and threatening to destroy every last trace of his control. But it could never be soon enough for him, because he had been wanting her for weeks, now.

It had been a difficult wait, and the waiting wasn't getting any easier as time went on.

Blood boiling softly in her veins with desire, Kagome turned her gaze back to the ground, fighting through the haze that his words and his expression had encouraged. Desire aside, he had just let her know in no uncertain terms that he loved her, and he would never let her go. And while that was a balm to her wounded soul in some ways, it was a bit frightening, as well. It also left her having to decide how she felt in return.

She was attracted, she knew this. And she no longer even wanted to deny it. But was she in love... with him? She wasn't certain, and she didn't want to say such a thing unless she meant it with every beat of her heart. Was she _falling_ in love with him? Yes. She knew it. She just hadn't really thought about it, hadn't taken the knowledge out and looked at it in the light of day. After all, they were courting each other, basically dating, in her modern day terminology, and this last month had been a slow, easy progression - in her eyes, anyway. She hadn't been pushing herself towards him, she had just been letting herself fall, slow and easy.

But his words were making her feel guilty, because she wasn't certain she was ready to return them, and that fact made her feel badly. She didn't want him to think she was refusing or rebuffing him, because she most certainly wasn't. So how to get that across, without hurting or upsetting him?

“I am not waiting for you to return my words to me, Kagome, if you are worried about that. I did not tell you I loved you to get you to reciprocate, you know. I said them because they are true.” He looked at her out of the corner of one eye as she peeked up at him, flabbergasted at his seemingly easy reading of her. “I do not want you to tell me you love me until you do, and I am perfectly willing to wait for you to do so.” He shrugged tightly at her suspicious look. “Oh, I am not going to lie and say it is easy, because it isn't. I want you terribly – but I still am willing to wait. So do not feel pressured to tell me of your feelings until you actually have them for me, alright?”

“It's not that I don't have any feelings for you, Mattaki,” she said finally, her cheeks, from what he could see, glowingly red again. 

“I know, Kagome,” he said warmly, smiling down at her now. “As I said, be calm. Just because I love you, does not mean I expect you to love me right away. We are still courting, are we not? Let it come as it will, little one. Do not force it.”

She sighed, relieved that he seemed to understand where she was at, and not feel hurt or rejected because she wasn't able to return those words and be sure she meant them – yet. Though she knew for a fact it was only a matter of time until she could, so it wasn't as though Mattaki was waiting in vain.

The rest of the day passed by pleasantly enough, and it wasn't until after dinner that night that Kagome had a chance to talk to Inuyasha. But before she could come up with a way to get the hanyou alone and talk to him without him going ballistic, he cornered her and asked to talk to her. He ignored the sharp look his father shot him, holding out a hand to help her to her feet as she looked at him with caution in her eyes.

He didn't let her know it by word or by deed, but that caution hurt, though he knew he deserved it – he hadn't ever treated her very well, so how was she to know that he wasn't going to cut loose and yell at her, cursing at her and calling her names? 

She had trusted him once. It was his own fault for screwing that up. So it was going to be up to him to gain her trust once more. Of course, he mused sourly, trying to keep from throwing up his dinner while watching his father courting the woman who'd once loved him was going to make that difficult, especially trying to keep the acid that he wanted to spit at his father inside – he'd never been very good at controlling his temper, after all. He suspected he was going to get all sorts of practice at it now, though.

Coming to a halt in a small dell, he turned to face Kagome as she came out of the trees behind him and moved to the center of the little hollow to sit on the little hilltop and watch the last of the late-blooming flowers wave in the occasional breeze.

After a moment, he sighed and moved to sit near her, ignoring how she stiffened as though waiting for him to unleash on her.

“Relax, K'gome, I ain't gonna jump on ya for nothin',” he said gruffly as he folded his arms into his sleeves. He inhaled deeply and then let it out slowly at her still cautious glance, and shook his head. “I just...” he trailed off, his hands gripping his arms inside his sleeves so hard he was beginning to draw blood. This was harder than he'd thought it'd be, apologizing, though of course it would be – he'd almost never done it before.

“You just what, Inuyasha?” came Kagome's soft voice a moment later, and he let out another deep breath, then, resigned to feeling terribly awkward. Maybe things would never be patched up fully between them – maybe too much water had passed under the bridge. But he had to try – he owed her that much.

“I wanted to say I'm... sorry,” he finally managed to get out through a tight throat. “For... everything. I probably couldn't list everything even if I tried, since I was such an ass for so long... but most of all I'm sorry for what happened after the fight with Naraku. I know... there's no excuse for what I did, but there _was_ a reason, and you should know what happened. When I left you all, I wasn't planning on not comin' back. I wanted to tell Kikyou she was free now so she could move on. And I honestly hadn't realized that you were hurt as badly as you were. But when she got me alone, she... once again pressed me to go to hell with her, reminding me that I'd promised.” He sighed, after a moment, defeated. “You... were right. She was just being vindictive, for no reason. But... I think she used a glamour on me or somethin' 'cause it was suddenly hard to think, and I didn't remember anything but her. Next thing I know, I'm alone in the underworld, bein' chewed out for leavin' you behind, Kikyou nowhere in sight.”

Kagome was silent for a while as she took all that in, and though nothing could make things the same between them as they once had been, it _did_ ease her heart a bit – knowing that he hadn't intended to just leave them as he had. That it was mostly Kikyou's doing. She could forgive and move on, letting the hurt she'd felt go. It was all in the past, and Inuyasha was alive again, with a second chance to live. Hopefully, he'd take this chance and run with it, not forsaking the future for some twisted vision of the past.

She folded her arms atop her knees and laid her head down on her arms, her eyes drifting closed for a moment as she said a prayer to the kami for her friend. After a few seconds, she said, “I wish I could tell you why Kikyou did what she did. But I can't – and I can't understand the sheer hatred that such an act would take. I guess that's an answer neither of us will ever have. But... I'm glad you told me what really happened, and I hope that the past is finally a closed door for you. You have a chance at a whole new future, Inuyasha – and I pray to the kami that you take it, and all it can offer you. Like a second chance to know your father.”

Inuyasha stiffened at mention of his sire. “Keh. I don't know 'bout that. Give it a few years, and maybe thing's'll be different. But as for everything else – what choice do I have? Everything's different now. Naraku's gone, and for the first time in years, I'm... free. Well, sort of,” he finished, casting a sour look back through the trees at the barely visible flickering of the firelight. “I will be once the old man has had his fill of torturin' me.”

Rolling her eyes, Kagome reflected that it had been too much to hope that the irascible hanyou had changed that much. But at least he'd gotten a start on that.

“Your father isn't that bad, Inuyasha, and you know it. Most of what's happened so far, you've brought on yourself. And you can't say you haven't benefited already from having him in your life, even if only from his training. You've gotten markedly better with your sword,” she returned dryly.

“Keh! Wasn't bad with it before!” he snapped defensively. “Was good enough to protect your ass, and take a lot of chunks out of Naraku, wasn't I?”

“Didn't say you weren't. Just that you're getting _better._ And after all-” she cast an amused glance at the hanyou out of sparkling blue eyes, “-the better you get, the closer you'll get to beating Sesshoumaru, right?” She knew that wasn't happening, but if it encouraged the sometimes lazy Inuyasha into putting more effort into his training...

He blinked, and then slowly grinned, one fang peeking out from under his lip. “You know... you might be onto somethin' there, wench. It'd be worth it to be able to bring that ass down a peg – or ten.”

Kagome giggled at the mental picture, though she was pretty certain that no one would be 'bringing him down a peg or ten' except his father. Mattaki was probably the only one on Earth that was stronger than Sesshoumaru. He was older, and knew a lot more about swordplay – he'd been doing it for far longer than the younger daiyoukai. Experience counted for a great deal, after all.

It fell quiet after that, and after a while, Kagome yawned sleepily and decided it was time to head back – she was ready for her bed, to prepare for another long day of walking tomorrow. One thing she had to admit, even if only to herself as Inuyasha quietly escorted her back to camp, was that she didn't miss the days of forced travel all over their native island in pursuit of Naraku and those damn shards of the sacred jewel. Walking was one thing – but having to do it day in and day out with no breaks in all sorts of weather? Nope... she didn't miss it at all.

She also didn't miss Mattaki's sharp glance upon their return – or the fact that a certain tension in his shoulders released when they returned in such a peaceful manner, and she had to smile, inwardly, at least, at his overprotective streak – in some ways, Inuyasha was just like his father.

With a reassuring smile in his direction, she patted another yawn and set about getting her bedding ready, then slipped behind a tree and changed for the night, before tossing her pack next to her sleeping bag and climbing inside and zipping herself in – it was the tag end of summer, and the much cooler nights reflected that. But she would be warm enough inside her bag, and with a quiet, “Good Night,” to the occupants of the camp that were still awake, she closed her eyes and allowed herself to drop quickly into a deep, restful sleep, for the first time since Inuyasha had disappeared with Kikyou feeling completely at peace.

Mattaki wasn't certain what the two had talked about, though he had his suspicions, but he was terribly glad to see that dark sliver that had been visible in her eyes since he'd met her finally gone, and her spirit at ease. 

“I'm glad you spoke to her,” he said softly so as not to wake her, knowing that his son would hear him. “She needed to know what had happened so she could put it behind her.”

“Keh. Didn't do it for your thanks, old man. Did it because I owe it to her. And then some,” a surly voice returned. “But... you're welcome.” 

Eyes widening just slightly at Inuyasha's last soft words, Mattaki smiled inwardly after a moment, the hope that maybe someday his son would allow him close rising inside again. It wasn't much, most wouldn't think anything of what his son had just said, but for Inuyasha to acknowledge his thanks at all was a minor miracle.

Camp fell silent after that as the two got lost in their own thoughts, and slowly, the wheel of heaven moved past, neither moving again save Mattaki getting up once in the early morning hours to build the fire back up. He glanced at the sleeping Shippo and Kagome with a soft smile as he did so – it was getting cool, and it wouldn't do to let the fire go out completely. 

He caught a flash of crimson as he sat back down and his gaze moved up, only to see his son with his arms crossed and eyes closed, though he knew quite well the boy was not really sleeping, merely dozing – his ears were tracking his movements perfectly, and it was only his familiarity that had allowed Inuyasha to remain in his half-asleep state. If he had been a stranger creeping up on them, the hanyou would have been fully awake in milli-seconds.

 _He is definitely strong, for a hanyou,_ the daiyoukai sighed. _He wouldn't have survived if he hadn't been. I wonder... how many times in his two hundred years has he truly slept a normal sleep? Probably no more than a handful. I regret that his early years were so terrible, though I cannot help but be proud that he survived. I can't even imagine the things he's been through. Maybe someday he'll actually tell me about some of those years he was alone. While I cannot take them away, perhaps sharing them will ease some of the burden from his own shoulders._

Mattaki spent the rest of the hours in the dark in a thoughtful, subdued state, his thoughts wandering far and wide and covering both his son, and the woman he was in love with, as well. While her life had been very different, it had not been easy, especially once she'd landed here in the distant past – and even worse, after she'd lost her way home and her entire family to time's distant shores.

The only positive thing he could find in the situation was that she would eventually be able to see her family again – he wasn't sure if she'd really considered that part of her circumstances yet. Her basic immortality guaranteed that she would be alive when her era once more came around. Though he could already foresee the difficulty she would have in the twenty years or so leading up to the day the well closed. He would probably have to stay on top of the situation to make sure she didn't make contact before it was time.

By the time daylight came, the daiyoukai was quite happy to see the sun, his thoughts of the night before somewhat dark and depressing. Thoughts of his little female missing her family for so many centuries, only to find them again for a few short years, and then lose them permanently to death poked hard at his heart and left him aching for her. But he was positive such things hadn't yet occurred to her, and he wasn't about to bring them up. She'd already spent enough time this year grieving – there was no sense in bringing on even more grief with such pointless thoughts as he'd had during the night.

As the sun rose over the horizon, bringing with it life-giving light and warmth, Mattaki rose and went after a bath downstream from camp, knowing that it would still be some little time yet before Kagome woke, and that Inuyasha was capable of keeping the camp secure until he returned. Of course, he wasn't going far, just in case, though there was nothing dangerous for miles, he wasn't willing to take that chance – not after what Kagome had pulled the day before.

He still couldn't believe what she'd done in rushing headlong into danger with absolutely no thought whatsoever – he couldn't help but wonder if she had always been that way. Perhaps he should ask his son if this was a normal thing for her, but somehow, he was sure it was. That thoughtless move of hers had been too... practiced, for it not to be.

A short time later, bathed and cool and feeling much better, he moved through the trees back to their camp, smiling as he heard Kagome's soft humming as she put a small pot of water on to boil for their morning tea. He came to a halt behind her, watching her go about her morning chores as his thoughts digressed to what had happened yesterday, and her stunned reaction to his declaration. He still felt badly that he had not thought to take her aside and tell her of his feelings in a private setting – he knew that females liked that sort of thing, calling it romantic, and he wanted to kick his own ass for forgetting such a basic fact about females. She'd felt cheated, and he felt as though he really had cheated her of that pleasure of hearing his feelings from him in a sweet and memorable way.

Perhaps there was still a way to at least somewhat make it up to her? He would have to spend some time thinking on that, he decided. It would make her happy, and that was all he needed to make the extra effort completely worthwhile.

Hearing her speak his name in tones of concern centered his attention on her once more, and he smiled again after a moment and reassured her that he was fine, merely thinking on a matter of some importance.

She nodded, accepting his words without further comment, and then something seemed to come to her, and she asked him what he had been thinking of yesterday when they had entered Kaede's hut after the attack. She reminded him that he'd told her he'd tell her later when she'd asked, and that prompt brought his thoughts of that moment back. He looked around to see where Inuyasha was, but could not see him; wanting to be _certain_ he was not within hearing distance, he asked Kagome the boy's whereabouts.

“Inuyasha? Oh, he went to take a morning rinse,” she said dismissively, obviously very eager to hear what he'd been thinking. 

He nodded, scenting the air to be sure, but the boy was nowhere nearby, so he went ahead and told her of his thoughts yesterday on Sesshoumaru possibly coming to visit at some point during the winter, and of the probability that his two sons would fight. “I was thinking that perhaps I should spend the next hundred years or so teaching them to behave decently towards each other in polite company,” he said wryly, enjoying Kagome's openly happy laugh of agreement.

“Yeah, it _would_ probably take that long,” she giggled, giggling some more at the face Shippo made as he agreed, as well.

“More like two hundred,” the kit quipped, and the three laughed as one, each one being highly entertained by certain amusing mental pictures of the two straining themselves to be polite.

Inuyasha returned shortly to a suspiciously grinning group of people, but after staring at them all with narrowed eyes for several seconds, he “Feh'd” and kept to himself after that, eating his breakfast and drinking his tea quietly.

It was just as they were waiting for Mattaki to return from visiting the bushes so that they could head out that another disaster struck – this one in the form of a whirlwind of dust that appeared over a small rise in the road and headed right for Kagome.

Staring in surprise at the dusty wolf that appeared out of it, who was already grasping at her hands before she could even blink, Kagome blurted out a shocked “Kouga!” just as the wolf seemed to inhale deeply and then let out an irate growl.

“Why the hell does _my woman_ smell so strongly of some overbred prissy dog, Inutrasha?” he snarled at his most despised rival. 

A deafening and dangerous silence fell as Kagome desperately tried to yank her hands away from an angered ookami who was refusing to let go.

She hadn't managed to move her hands an inch when Mattaki stepped back out of the trees and onto the road, and suddenly, she was very, very afraid.

Kouga was going to _die._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know... yet another cliffie. In my own defense, though, this wasn't supposed to happen – it's all Kouga's fault, so blame him. He was supposed to stay away until the beginning of next chapter, but he refused to slow down in his headlong pace. I swear, he just refuses to pay attention to speed limits – even without the shards of the jewel in his legs.
> 
> I know that in canon Kouga basically bows out in the final season. But if you've all noticed, this isn't canon – not really. It's set in canon-verse, but other than that... although you could say I'm mixing canon and A/U. Like, I pretty much kept what happened in the final battle – but Kagome didn't go home at the end of it, obviously, and Inuyasha goes with Kikyou. And it didn't happen quite so close to the village. So in this story, Kouga didn't bow out, and he wasn't there for the final battle, either – he's been off chasing his tail in circles (I don't like Kouga, can anyone tell?) and missed out on everything, and is just now showing up. And he's gonna get his ass handed to him, too – by more than one person.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy, everyone!
> 
> Amber


	12. Chapter 12

Nothing but the soft breeze rustling the leaves in the trees was heard as Kagome stared in horror at the frozen tableau – even Inuyasha was too stunned to move or say a word.

Surprised that Mattaki hadn't already attacked, she slowly turned her head to meet his gaze, her own eyes wide with fear and worry, only to meet golden eyes that were bleeding crimson – it was in that moment that she realized that he hadn't moved because he was so enraged that he'd frozen. It would only last moments, however, and she knew it.

Before she could say anything, though, Kouga opened his mouth and made everything a thousand times worse.

“What the fuck were you thinking, you fuckin' mutt, lettin' some damn dog hang all over my woman?!” he snarled at Inuyasha, who was too stunned by Kouga's complete – and extremely foolish - dismissal of the danger his father posed to him to respond. “What the hell ever, you weak little bitch,” he hissed disgustedly after a further moment, “I'll take care of whoever the hell this other weak mutt is and take _my woman_ home with me where she belongs.” He looked down with his usual irritating cluelessness at the woman who was still trying to free her hands. “Don't worry, Kagome, I'll protect you from any more advances from some pansy-assed flea-bitten _dog_ ,” he spat, curling his lip at the word 'dog'.

Forcing herself to still as her struggling wasn't getting her anywhere, and certainly wasn't getting through the idiot's thick skull, she allowed her powers to gather in her hands and shocked Kouga, knowing that was the only way he was going to let her go; he did, cursing and snarling as she stumbled back away from him as soon as she was free.

“Damn it, Kouga! _I'm not your woman!”_ she screamed at him. “Stop being so thickheaded and stupid - and _keep your hands to yourself!_ ”

Eyes bugging from his head with resentment in a most unattractive fashion, he started to stutter out his usual claims once more, but before Kagome could react, Mattaki rushed forward and Kouga barely managed to get out of the way in time, suddenly sporting several deep claw wounds across his chest as he leapt back just enough to keep from being clawed completely in half.

That was all it took, and the fight was on, though it wasn't much of a fight as Kagome had already known it wouldn't be. Kouga wasn't even a match for Inuyasha,* let alone for Mattaki, and within seconds, the wolf was on the ground and Mattaki was poised over his body, just about to land the killing blow.

“NO!” Kagome finally managed to scream out, panic forcing her voice through the obstruction of a nearly closed windpipe as she crashed into Mattaki from behind and clasped her arms around his waist. “Please, Mattaki, don't!” she begged, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Please, don't kill him. _Please_. He's stupid, but that's no reason to kill him. I don't want him, I promise I don't – I want _you._ I promise, Mattaki. I don't love him,” she gulped, her fear forcing her to take in and acknowledge what she hadn't been able to accept until this very moment. “I... I love you.” Her eyes fell closed as she gave whispered voice to those words, a fatalistic sense of finality clear in her voice to all those witnessing the confrontation.

The time for denial was gone, and she could no longer hide her feelings – even from herself. She loved him. Truthfully, she had for a while, now. She simply hadn't been able to believe her own feelings, truly convinced that it was still too soon. Yes, she was _falling_ _in love_ with him, that was fine, she could deal with admitting that – but not that she was already _there_ , despite her mother's words about love and time, and even her own previous thoughts on the matter. 

But there would be no more hiding now.

Mattaki had frozen the moment he felt her arms go around him, but when she began crying and begging for the wolf's life, he came back to himself and closed his eyes, trying with every bit of his will to calm down and force his enraged blood to cool. He hadn't actually meant for things to go this far, but when he'd heard the wolf claiming her as his and watched the bastard touching her, obviously against her will, he'd just... lost it. He'd actually surprised even himself with his instant descent into a mad rage – he'd finally done the one thing he'd never thought he would – he'd gone berserker. And all over someone desiring and trying to claim the woman he considered his. 

When the rest of what she'd just said sank in, though, his eyes widened and he stiffened; letting go of the body of the wolf, who hit the ground with a heavy thud, he grasped her hands where they clutched at his waist so he could pull them away, allowing him to turn around and face her.

He needed to see her face... to see her eyes. He needed to know that she was not just saying that to stop him from killing the ookami. He needed to know it more than he'd ever needed anything. _He_ _needed_ _to_. 

It was surprising, even to him, just how much he needed to know she was speaking nothing but the truth – while waiting for her to be ready, for her to love him had not been easy, he hadn't really realized just how truly difficult it had been to hold himself back from her for her comfort, nor the toll it had taken on his own emotions. He hadn't wanted her to feel pressured, and instead, now that she'd finally said what he'd been waiting so desperately for, he felt the pressure _he'd_ been carrying around so fiercely that he literally had to forcibly hold himself back from grabbing her and shaking her to get her to speak – to reiterate what she'd just said.

“Look at me,” he demanded, his normal baritone even deeper than it usually was and his eyes intense as she obeyed and opened her own drenched blues to meet his gaze. When she did, he asked, “ _Did-you-mean-it?_ ” in desperation-laced tones that had her eyes widening in shocked surprise. When she didn't answer immediately, he _did_ shake her, though gently. “ _Answer me_ , Kagome!”

“O-of course I d-did,” she whispered huskily after a moment to gather her scattered thoughts and her composure. “I would never s-say something like that if I didn't,” she managed to hiccup. She sniffled, trying to dry her eyes and stop crying, though the way he was looking at her was making it very difficult.

 _She means it,_ he thought, his mind almost detached as he stared down at her blue eyes absolutely shining with honesty. _She means it, but she wasn't quite ready to say it._ It was actually easy to see that she hadn't been ready to acknowledge those feelings, that she was still uncomfortable with them, but now that it was out in the open, there was no going back. 

“I'm sorry that you were forced into recognizing this before you were really ready, Kagome,” he breathed, glancing quickly at Shippo and his son, who, now that he was over his own shock, was showing that he did have a little sense by taking himself and the kit off somewhere else to give them at least _some_ privacy.

An unconscious and bleeding wolf didn't count.

Looking back down at her, he sighed. “There is no going back, though, you know this, don't you?” he asked, just to make sure. “I... I have held myself back from you because I knew you weren't comfortable – that was why, in the end, I did not insist you move back into the rooms I had first placed you in – but I... I do not think I can hold myself away from you any longer,” he confessed, slight guilt expressed quite clearly in golden eyes. “Though... if you truly cannot accept me at this time, I will try...” he trailed off, his own discomfort and even pain at that thought quite clear to the emotionally charged girl in his arms.

It was Kagome's turn to feel guilty; she'd had no idea that her waffling on her own feelings had made him suffer so much. She felt truly foolish in that instant, like a child playing adult's games, and looking at such a magnificent male, one who wanted nothing more than to be allowed to love her, only to see what she'd put him through... she felt shame well up inside her, followed by more tears. She owed him a _major_ apology...

“I'm so sorry, Mattaki,” she whimpered, planting her face into his chest as she threw herself back into his arms. “So, so sorry. I didn't realize... I was acting like a child over all of it,” she said, shame clear in her low tones. “I just couldn't believe that love doesn't always take a long time, and so I kept fighting the knowledge, insisting inside that it couldn't be real love I was feeling because it was too soon – that it had to be just a beginning infatuation and attraction that would take time to deepen into real love. And all this time, you've respected my doubts and dithering without ever trying to force the issue or make me feel guilty.” She felt a swell of love rush over her as she openly acknowledged all of the last months of his loving treatment of her, and with tears still streaming down her cheeks, she stood on tiptoes and pressed her mouth to his with a heartfelt moan, wrapping her arms around his neck to pull herself even nearer to his body.

Mattaki froze for just a tiny fraction of a second, but almost immediately his arms went around her and he pulled her even closer, molding his body to hers as he coaxed her lips to open with a sweet, shiver-inducing caress of his tongue across her lower lip. The moment she complied, he tilted his head and swept inside, tangling his tongue with hers and moaning into her mouth at her taste, at the feel of her returning his caresses - and his affection.

The kiss went on for some time as the two standing in the road over a still-unconscious wolf continued exploring each others mouths, seemingly unable to stop. Hands clenched tightly in Mattaki's haori, as he'd forgone armor on this trip, Kagome tried to pull away in her desperation for air; Mattaki pulled her back with a deep growl, completely unwilling to allow her to end the kiss.

His own hands were not idle; one large palm spread against her back, his fingers reaching almost entirely across it emphasizing just how tiny she really was as his other hand slid up to cradle her head as he teased her tongue into following his back into his mouth. He shuddered all over, a deeper growl wrenching itself from his throat as she explored his fangs, seemingly fascinated by such an inhuman part of him.

Things might have progressed a little farther than was strictly polite out in the open if it weren't for the pained groan of the ookami still on the ground next to them; with a sharp gasp and a bright blush, Kagome pulled back away from Mattaki and looked down at Kouga, only to find his eyes fluttering open as he bled sluggishly into the dirt.

“Damn,” she sighed as she knelt beside him and took stock of his injuries after a moment spent to regather her composure, “you really did a number on him, Mattaki. We're going to have to spend the night here – don't you narrow your eyes at me; despite his stupidity, I can't leave him laying in the road injured like this.” She pointed to the base of the tree where her pack still lay. “Grab my pack – I need my first aid kit,” she said. “He should be fine by tomorrow, and then we can go on our way, okay?”

With a rather disgruntled sigh, Mattaki gave in, knowing it was really his own fault for going so far off the deep end and injuring the wolf so badly. And he knew Kagome was not the type to leave an injured being behind – even one she didn't like, let alone one who'd been a friend... sort of. While it was apparent she hadn't liked his habit of claiming her, it was also apparent that she did at least marginally care for his life, and he, Mattaki, wouldn't deny her much of anything – especially not after what she'd just told him. He was so thrilled with her declaration of love that he was willing to let her spend the day treating the ookami's wounds, as long as it made her happy. (Although, admittedly, he _could_ also come up with a much better idea of how _he_ wanted to spend the day – and night – ahead of them.)

“Here, love, I've a a better notion,” he said, motioning for her to move back; with a confused look, she complied, and he bent down and lifted the barely conscious wolf up and moved him off the road, taking him to lay him in a spot near the now dead fire. The fire he was about to rebuild.

When she realized what he was about, Kagome smiled gratefully at him, yanking out an extra blanket and laying it down under one of the trees so he would at least be out of the direct sun, she indicated that he could lay the injured youkai on it. Within minutes she had bandages and ointment out and was using the water in her canteen to cleanse the wounds the wolf was now sporting.

Inuyasha came ghosting back through the trees just then, a curious Shippo riding his shoulder; without even arching an inquisitive brow he grabbed her small pot and went after more water, depositing Shippo on the ground next to Kagome as he did so. It was quiet until the hanyou reappeared and set the pot on a flat rock near the edge of the fire, and Mattaki, surprised at his son's _lack_ of same, asked him why he was taking this delay so calmly.

“Because I know Kagome. As soon as I saw you going after the stupid wolf, I knew we'd be staying here at least another day so that she could take care of the bastard's wounds.” He shrugged as he took a seat up on the limb of the tree he'd spent the previous night in. “That's just how she is. There was no way, even with as irritated as she was at him, that she was gonna leave him like that.”

Once he'd heard Inuyasha's reasoning, he had to agree that his son was correct – Kagome was far too compassionate to leave the ookami wounded, even though he would have been fine even if she had. He was, after all, youkai, and though he wasn't _dai_ youkai, he still would have healed fine.

Shippo, on the other hand, tail bristling, watched the ookami with narrowed eyes as he caught the flash of Kouga's eyes as he opened them to look at Kagome, only to once again close and flutter them as though he were fighting to remain conscious. The wolf, while injured, wasn't as injured as he was pretending, and Shippo, being kitsune, was an old hand at tricking people. Kouga was up to something... but what?

He was determined to find out and protect his mother from him.

So he sat right next to her, his eyes pretty much nailed to the wolf, who quickly caught on to the fact that he was being watched – and glared at the tiny kitsune when he realized that the boy wasn't falling for his trick. Shippo simply glared back – all under the guise of a fake smile, which warned the ookami quite nicely that he'd been made.

Kagome was completely oblivious to the undercurrents between the two, not paying the slightest attention to Kouga's moaning or his pathetic whines. She simply wasn't impressed. She'd treated Inuyasha for far worse, and he hadn't acted nearly as badly. As far as she was concerned, the ookami was simply a wimp, and was proving it with every whimper. Yes, he was badly injured, but not that badly – she herself had been injured worse, and hadn't acted like this.

Finally, finished cleaning and bandaging all his injuries, she stood, and ignoring his pitiful voice as he begged for her to stay near, grabbed her bag and headed for the stream herself to wash up. Mattaki went with her, a fact which set Kouga to growling, though he was smart enough not to let her hear it.

“Shut up, you stupid wolf!” Shippo hissed, glaring at the ookami with the fires of hell dancing in his eyes the moment Kagome was out of eyesight – and hearing range. “You leave my mama alone – she doesn't want you!” He narrowed his eyes and planted his hands on his hips as Kouga's focus shifted to him and his growl turned to a snarl. “I know you ain't hurt as bad as you're fakin', and I'm watching you, Kouga,” he snarled back, to the watching Inuyasha's everlasting amusement. “I won't let you mess things up between her and Mattaki-sama!”

“Oh, shut the hell up, you little _snack,”_ the wolf growled, though the sound wasn't as dangerous as he certainly wanted it to be, his injuries showing themselves as he coughed and his voice puttered out weakly. “I ain't gonna lose _my woman_ to a fuckin' lowly d-dog!”

“Funny how that _lowly dog_ just beat _your_ ass to within in inch of your life, and didn't even break a sweat,” Inuyasha drawled, smirking at Kouga's pointless threats.

Kouga's face turned a dangerous red as his temper threatened to make him blow his top – though that idea at this point wasn't one to inspire any fear in anyone, except maybe for his own life, because at this point, all he could do was send his own blood pressure through the roof until he passed out.

 _Not a bad idea_ , Inuyasha contemplated as he watched the ookami squirm in impotent anger. _At least then we wouldn't have to listen to his dumbass whimpering and whining._

At that moment, Mattaki and Kagome were heard returning from the stream, and the sight of the two holding hands, as well as Kagome's shy smile at the daiyoukai, had Kouga sniffing angrily and turning his nose up in the air – which everyone simply ignored, not caring a whit if he was upset or not. Mattaki sat down with a tree at his back and promptly pulled a contented Kagome into his lap, and she curled up in it like she'd always done so, leaving Shippo grinning in malicious pleasure at an enraged wolf.

So passed most of the rest of the day; despite getting up once in a while to check on Kouga, take care of her own needs, and then get dinner as the day waned, she spent most of it curled up with a loving and highly pleased and contented Mattaki speaking idly of whatever took their fancy. 

Inuyasha was quiet and kept to himself, Shippo also mostly leaving the couple alone so they could strengthen the bond that was just now beginning to finally bloom. The wolf, on the other hand...

 _That idiot really is, well... an idiot, isn't he?_ Inuyasha thought with amused derision. _He almost got himself killed once today, already, and the way he's goin' he's workin' on number two. I'm just not sure which one of them is going to unload on him next._

He'd amused himself through the day with visions of different outcomes depending on who it was that unleashed on him next, his mental meanderings keeping a faint smirk on his face that didn't go as unnoticed as he'd thought.

“It must be something good if he's got that look on his face,” Kagome whispered to an amused Mattaki, casting frequent glances at the treed hanyou from beneath her bangs.

Just then, Kouga let out another irritating noise, and Inuyasha twitched, his smirk growing just the tiniest bit. His father snorted quietly. “I would almost pay to get into his head and see what he's seeing, because every time the wolf cub makes a noise, he twitches and that smirk gets bigger. I'd bet it has to do with either reliving what happened earlier, or making up new scenes of that boy getting his rear end handed to him.”

Kagome's eyes widened a little and she looked unobtrusively closer, only to see that yes, indeed, Inuyasha's thoughts were seemingly directly influenced by Kouga's mutterings. She had a hard time keeping the laughter in, and slapped a hand over her mouth in an attempt to do so.

“Oh, dear... I think you're right. Inuyasha has never been able to truly stand Kouga, though he's helped him a few times when I've asked him to,” she giggled, the sound muffled just enough by her hand to keep the others from really hearing it.

“Well, you must admit, the wolf _is_ irritating. I'm surprised that you put up with him as long as you did – though you have a soft heart, it seems that your patience is even greater,” he chuckled softly, his eyes meeting hers, glowing gold with deep affection and desire gently pulsing within them.

Mesmerized, Kagome stared into those beautiful eyes, not realizing that her own eyes had become a mirror that was flashing that same affection and desire back to the male whose arms she was cuddling so happily in. That in truth, her whole being was glowing with those emotions; to the watching Inuyasha, the beauty she was suddenly exuding was astonishing – a revelation. Never had he realized what she truly looked like when she was actually _happy –_ because she never had been truly happy before, with him. 

_She should have always looked that way,_ he thought with regret, but his attention was grabbed before he could really go any further with those thoughts; it seemed that Kouga was also noticing her glowing happiness – _he_ wasn't taking it well, however, as his muttering and grumbling got louder – and consequently more annoying.

A very menacing growl broke from Mattaki after a particularly nasty comment. “I would suggest you keep your eyes, _and_ your opinion, to yourself, wolf, lest I decide to finish the job I started earlier this day,” he snarled, his eyes flashing angrily. 

Kagome rolled her eyes, wondering just how stupid the ookami really was. “Mattaki,” she said softly, cupping his cheek in one slender hand, “don't worry about him. We've been through this, ne? I want _you_. I love _you_. He's no threat, you know this. He has no place here.”

Mattaki's eyes glowed as he looked down at the small woman in his arms, in that moment wishing he could just ditch everyone else and return to his estate – he'd keep them locked in his rooms for a week – or two. Or maybe even three, come to think of it.

“He's no threat, but he _is_ annoying, my love,” he agreed after a silent moment as he brushed clawed fingertips gently through her bangs. 

“Isn't that the truth,” Inuyasha snorted not so quietly, one golden eye opening and glaring over at the bristling ookami. “Too bad you didn't rip his throat out, old man. It would have been a lot quieter.”

At that, Kouga, angered beyond his ability to control himself, began snapping and snarling, sounding like nothing so much as a rabid animal. But the final straw was his claim of being sick and wanting to throw up at hearing Kagome deluding herself so when it came to her feelings for the daiyoukai. 

Then it was _Kagome's_ turn to lose her temper. Startling everyone with the sudden move, she launched herself at the stunned wolf and slapped him so hard that his head snapped back – and then she slapped the other cheek, leaving livid red handprints on each side of Kouga's face.

“I've had enough out of you, Kouga,” she snapped dangerously, baring her teeth at him and growling loud enough to make an inu step back. “In what deluded fantasy did I _ever_ claim to want you? I've never accepted any of your damn claims over me, and I _never would have_ – you're the most annoying, irritating, oblivious, deluded and foolish guy I've ever met! I'd sooner kill myself than be stuck with you! I swear to every kami I know the name of,” she said then, her low, angry voice completely serious, “if I ever see you again after tomorrow morning, and you say one word about me being 'your woman', I'll purify you and have done with it, are we clear? You are the type of guy I most despise, and for you to think that you'd ever have a chance with me is laughable. You truly are delusional,” she finished, her tone loaded with disgust and even, surprisingly for her, dislike. She stared the wolf down for several long-seeming seconds, and then turned away to walk back over to a proud Mattaki, settling into his lap once more as his aura began to caress her own, slowly soothing her all-too-real irritation.

Shippo snickered at the gobsmacked look on the wolf's face. “What an idiot,” he said behind his hand, laughing outright when Inuyasha piped in with the comment that he'd always told Kagome, and everyone else, incidentally, that Kouga wasn't too bright, but that none of them had ever listened to him. “Oh, I listened. That's one of the few things we agreed on,” he said as Inuyasha finished. “It's just that Kagome doesn't like to believe anything bad about people, so I just didn't say anything.”

“Well, he's _beyond_ stupid about this matter,” Kagome snapped tartly. “I told him from day one that I wasn't his woman, because there was someone else.” She blushed even as Mattaki tightened his arms around her and nuzzled her neck with a slight growl, knowing who she was talking about. “That was a long time ago, and things have changed – but I've _never_ wanted Kouga, and I never would have. I feel sorry for whoever does end up with him,” she huffed, casting a look of frustrated dislike at the injured wolf. “And it's not even because he loves me, like he keeps claiming – the idiot doesn't even know me! It's just because of his stupid pride, and originally it was because of those damn shards, too. Whatever,” she sighed finally. “I'm done with it. I meant what I said, and I can only hope kami hear my prayer and I never have to see him again. Let some other female deal with him.”

Rumbling soothingly, Mattaki began rubbing his hand up and down Kagome's arm as she resettled, still disgruntled, against his chest. “Be calm, my love. As you said before, he is no threat. He is merely annoying,” he said, eyeing the very resentful wolf warningly. 

She sighed. “I know. I guess I've just had it with his thickheadedness. He's been saying this same stuff for so long – and like I said, he doesn't even know me! If you took every instance that he's come around and put it all together, I doubt it would even come out to an entire day that he's spent around me! And yet he keeps talking that trash. It's so stupid,” she finished plaintively.

With laughter all around, except for a completely insulted Kouga, the evening finally settled down and the night passed peacefully enough, even considering the wolf's occasional muttering and complaining. But Kagome couldn't have been happier when, just before dawn, Kouga found enough strength to get up and leave, not saying a word to anyone. He was moving a lot slower than normal but no one tried to stop him, only too glad that he was leaving and all of them hoping that they never crossed paths with the aggravating male again.

Still a bit sleepy, Kagome decided to just get a move on since everyone was already awake, figuring she could catch up on her sleep later, and actually spend the night indoors where it was a lot warmer. Autumn was well on its way in, and with as fast as the temperatures were dropping, she was pretty sure it was going to be a long, cold winter. She was glad that they'd made sure that Kaede was well-stocked with everything she could possibly need for the coming bad weather, since she wasn't really able to move around as much, especially in the cold season.

With the delay that Kouga had cost them they were running behind, so in order to make up for it, Mattaki flew them most of the rest of the way, allowing them to arrive in the vicinity of the slayer's village by mid-afternoon. Figuring that they were springing a surprise on the monk and taijiya, who wouldn't be expecting the several extra mouths to feed, Mattaki and Inuyasha hunted down some game, a deer and several rabbits falling quickly to flashing claws. Gutted and ready for the spit, they carried their catch wrapped in the deer hide, which could be dried and used by the couple for many different things, and were soon on the approach to the village.

What they found when they arrived, however, wasn't anything like what they were expecting.

When Naraku had originally had the village destroyed, almost everything had survived the carnage in one form or another but the people themselves. Now, however, there was nothing left save a few logs that had once been part of the walls. They didn't have to get very close for something to set Mattaki off; with a great snarl, he immediately halted the group, and, hackles up, studied the ruins closely, his youki flaring up protectively around the group. 

Whatever was wrong, Inuyasha seemed to pick up on it as well; he was releasing a low, continuous growl that a shivering Shippo whispered to Kagome was a warning to whatever was out there to stay away. As soon as he said that, Kagome's memory took her back to the dog she'd had when young; she remembered the female making the same sound one night, just before someone had tried to break into the house. The reminder set her to shivering, and wrapping her arms protectively around the kit, she watched the surrounding area warily.

“The monk and taijiya are not here,” Mattaki growled after several long moments. “They left heading in that direction.” He indicated a small path leading away from the main road, and keeping a wide berth between they and the remains of the village, began heading that way. Completely silently, the group moved swiftly along, Mattaki before, and Inuyasha bringing up the rear. 

Kagome could only be thankful that there was still plenty of daylight; she could just begin to feel something... wrong... for lack of a better word, in the atmosphere around them, and wanted to get as far away from this place as possible before night fell. At the same time, she couldn't help but be extremely worried and curious; what could have happened here in the weeks since Sango and Miroku had arrived to try to revive the village, and where were they? 

Even more importantly – were they okay?

~oOo~

Mattaki had set a swift pace, and by the time the sun set, they'd managed to get some miles away from the ruined and haunted place that they'd been expecting to find in a much livelier condition.

But they hadn't come across Sango or Miroku, or even Kirara, even though they were following their scent trail, the daiyoukai assured them.

“How long has it been since they passed this way?” a subdued Kagome asked as she settled the deer meet to roast slowly over the fire so that it would keep for several days as they traveled, and spitted the rabbit meat to cook for their evening meal. 

“Several weeks, at least,” he replied, his face somber as he stared into the fire. “The only reason I can even catch the traces I have been able to is because there's been relatively little rain to wash it away.” He glanced at Inuyasha, who met his gaze solemnly. “Not to mention the strength of the fear that they were literally covered in. The stronger the emotion, the stronger the scent imprint.”

 _Fear? I'm not surprised... something about that place was scaring me, too._ “It would take a lot to scare those two,” she said after a moment, watching as the hanyou scraped the deer hide down and then hung it over a branch that was close to the fire to finish drying. “Whatever happened... it had to be strong to make them flee.”

Shippo shivered and cuddled closer into Kagome. “Yeah... they weren't the type to run from something little.”

“What was it that you felt, Mattaki?” she asked after a few minutes. “What made you stop?”

It was silent for a few minutes as the daiyoukai stared into the fire with a fixed gaze. Kagome wasn't even sure he'd heard her until he finally answered.

“Several things. There were several things that felt wrong, dangerous. Fear, strife, hatred. That place, what was left of it, looked empty.” His eyes flashed gold as he looked up, then. “But it wasn't.”

Everyone exchanged uneasy looks and Kagome shivered.

_Sango... Miroku... what happened to you guys? What happened to the village?_

The night, already cold, closed in around them, and Kagome huddled as close to Mattaki as she could get as the firelight flickered, such a small light to hold back the vastness of the dark around them.

 _It's so eerie out here,_ was her last thought as an uneasy sleep claimed her.

It was a thought that was being echoed in the minds of her companions, as well – and even Mattaki, who kept a tight watch all night, refusing to sleep at all, thought the same.

Daylight couldn't come fast enough, as far as he was concerned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *this is a canon fact. Kouga is not a true match for Inuyasha and never was, even in the beginning when Inuyasha was not as strong, and the only reason he survived his rivalry with Inu is because my favorite hanyou really didn't try to claw the fool in half. This should all be apparent in the fact that Inuyasha destroyed Ryukotsussei – Kouga wouldn't have survived that fight.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Despite the fact that they had left what was left of the slayers village behind, it seemed as though the heavy atmosphere was still surrounding them – it felt as though the entire area was cursed, and Kagome couldn't help the shiver that crawled up her spine as she woke the next morning. 

For some reason, the whole area almost felt like... like Naraku. It felt heavy with his malice – but that was impossible... wasn't it? He was dead – she'd even made sure of it! So why did the very air feel as though it were poisoned with his hatred?

“Keh. You feel it, too, don't you, wench?” The sound of the hanyou's voice was almost muffled by the heaviness of the air, and Kagome looked around at him as she sat up.

“Yeah,” she affirmed reluctantly.

“Feel what?” Mattaki's voice ghosted into the clearing at the same time he did. 

“Naraku,” she breathed.

He glanced at her sharply. “I thought you had all killed him.”

“We did. Feh. But that don't mean that bastard didn't leave somethin' behind,” Inuyasha responded. He scowled. “It would be just like him.”

“So you mean to say that somehow, he survived?” 

“No,” Kagome shook her head, her brow furrowed as she extended her senses, “but I _do_ think he did something... something we hadn't thought of, like maybe cursed this place to get back at those who beat him. To make sure that he took everyone who dared to stand against him, with him, instead.”

“A curse?” Mattaki mused thoughtfully, looking around with discerning eyes. “That is very possible. I certainly do not feel the presence of anything... living.”

“The question is, what the hell kinda curse is it, and where the hell are Sango and Miroku, not to mention Kirara?” Inuyasha barked after a moment, his loud voice finally waking a shivering Shippo from what looked to be a very broken sleep.

They all looked at each other for several long moments, and then Mattaki said, “Well, we will not find answers or your companions while sitting here, so perhaps we should get a move on.”

No one argued with that statement and within a short time, everyone was packed up and ready to go. The group was grimly silent as they followed Mattaki, who was the only one with a nose strong enough to pick up the fading scents of those they were trying to track, back to the path the others had seemed to take in their escape from the remains of the slayers village.

It was silent for some hours as they continued on, but Kagome didn't miss the fact that they were heading for a small mountain, the scents of their missing friends headed as straight as an arrow towards its rolling foothills and rocky flanks, if Mattaki's nose was anything to go by. By late afternoon, they were close, and the daiyoukai assured the group that their missing friend's scents were getting stronger.

Kagome was soon convinced that they were there, somewhere on the mountain through her own senses – whatever bad thing was out there was getting a lot closer, and without saying a word to anyone, she reached into the little pocket on her pack to take out the ofuda that Miroku had given her what seemed so long ago. Gripping them in her hands, she allowed her reiki out to charge them, making them much stronger than they had been with just Miroku's houriki drenching them. She was almost positive they'd be needing that protection very soon.

Just as the sun was beginning its descent into the horizon, the group approached a small rocky gorge, and everyone came to a halt without even needing to say a word – whatever was sickening this whole area was concentrated up ahead.

“The scents of the slayer, her firecat, and the monk are also all coming from up ahead,” Mattaki said after a moment, Inuyasha nodding behind him as he could also finally smell them. Even through whatever evil lay up ahead.

“Yeah, and whatever is causing all the havoc is also just up ahead. I think we're going to have to go through it to get to them,” Kagome replied, her entire body screaming at her that danger lay ahead.

Shippo, who'd been silent pretty much all day, snuggled closer to Kagome's neck and shivered, his fear quite plain as his fur bristled – only Kagome didn't find it at all cute in these particular circumstances, and reached up and patted the little kit's back soothingly. 

“It'll be okay, Shippo – I won't let anything happen to you,” she said quietly.

Mattaki heard that and turned a narrow-eyed glare on her. “Don't pull any repeats of the other day, Kagome,” he warned her in no uncertain terms. “ _I_ do the protecting – for you _and_ your son.” 

Despite the fact that she still didn't like being told what to do, Kagome couldn't help the soft feeling that surged over her at his promise to protect Shippo, too. She'd never asked him to do such a thing – he'd just taken the duty on, and that actually meant a lot to her, personally. It also meant that he'd taken her as part of a package deal, knowing that in order to have her, he'd have to have Shippo, as well. She studied his eyes for a moment, and smiled softly at him when she saw that he seemed to have no qualms with that fact, either.

“Hai,” she agreed easily, earning an approving growl and a heartfelt smile from the daiyoukai. She stayed quiet as Mattaki ordered them to stay where they were, putting Inuyasha in charge of the group as he went to reconnoiter and find out just what they were facing.

The little group was totally silent as he disappeared, though Kagome did move a little closer to Inuyasha, who simply quirked a brow at her, then smiled a little, one fang hanging over his lip as he nodded at her, knowing what she was doing. Hell, as bad as this place felt, he needed the comfort of a friendly presence, as well.

Mattaki was gone about five minutes, and when he returned, his expression was quite dire, his eyes dark and very unhappy.

“There is a black cloud that hovers at the head of this ravine as it dead ends there. Just in front of where it sits, is a cave – that is where your friends are. It seems that your friend the monk has so far managed to keep whatever is in that cloud out with ofuda... but I can tell you this – that won't last. The cloud grows stronger,” he said grimly. “It is only a matter of time.”

“Keh. So what are we gonna do?” Inuyasha asked, a scowl on his face.

“We make for the cave. Hopefully, the cloud won't try to attack us, but we must be prepared in case it does.” Mattaki reached down and drew Tessaiga, handing it hilt first back to his son. “You might need this – what is in that cloud won't be fazed by a plain katana.”

Kagome's heart sank; if Mattaki was changing his original plan of making Inuyasha wait to get the sword back, then things were probably going to get nasty very quickly. She could feel her adrenaline kick in, her body tensing for battle just as Mattaki and Inuyasha were – she was used to battles, after all, even though she hated them.

The daiyoukai continued giving instructions. “We will make for the cave – weapons at the ready, but we will not attack the cloud unless it attacks us. Since we don't know what it is, we would be fighting blindly, and I'd rather talk to your companions and find out what they can tell us about this. We need all the information we can get.”

“Keh.”

“Okay.”

He inclined his head to Inuyasha. “You will guard the rear, and I will take the lead – Kagome, you stay between us, but keep your eyes open, understood?”

She nodded, then had Shippo climb into the hood on her cloak, glad that she'd put it on, as the weather was rather cool. It was a good place for the kit; he was still held by her, but out of the way if she needed to fight, and the hood was much less precarious than if he were just clinging to her.

Anxious and not inclined to hide it, Kagome fell into step as they all moved out, her fingers rifling through the ofuda she still held in her hands. She determinedly readied herself for anything, knowing that if this was indeed a curse from Naraku, it would probably be damaged more by spiritual power than youki. That meant her – with Miroku's assistance in the form of his ofuda... and probably her arrows as well.

It only took about ten minutes at their slower pace to reach the area that Mattaki had told them of, and Kagome could take in what they were facing with her own eyes. There was, indeed, a dark cloud of energy, malicious in nature, hovering just ten feet or so before the entrance to the cave that he'd mentioned. It appeared that it was being held at bay by the ofuda that were pasted around the entrance to the cave, though every so often, a tendril of the darkness would reach out and attempt to penetrate the barrier. So far, they'd been held off, but Kagome had the feeling that they'd arrived just in time – it didn't look as though Miroku's strength alone would hold the curse off much longer – probably once night fell, strengthening its power, the cloud would indeed break through.

“When we get there, I'm going to have to replenish the ofuda around the cave with the ofuda Miroku gave me that is charged with both our power, otherwise that cloud is going to break through tonight,” she said softly, almost whispering. She knew both her companions would hear her, despite her low tone.

Mattaki obviously did; he grunted in acknowledgment, his sword held at the ready as he slowed his pace, leading them towards the cloud – and the cave.

The cloud initially seemed to pay no attention to them, just hovering before the cave entrance as though it had all the patience in the world, but as the travelers drew nearer, it seemed to realize they were there, and they could all feel as it reacted to their presence, sending out a tendril towards them which Kagome wasted no time tossing an ofuda at. The tendril dissipated and a shrill piercing cry came from the cloud as it roiled angrily, but it withdrew, and everyone could see that though it seemed like a cloud, it did have some mass to it. 

They took the chance at its withdrawal and made a dash for the cave entrance, at which point Kagome, ready, tossed several more ofuda along the perimeter to strengthen the ones already present. They glowed a deep purple, a mix of Miroku's blue houriki, and Kagome's pink reiki, and then settled into the rock, putting up a very strong barrier against the cloud as its malice doubled. They could all feel the writhing hatred and twisted nature of it as they all backed into the cave – to the surprise of those already in the cave.

For a moment, everyone stared at each other, and then cries of relief came from the huddled forms of Miroku, Sango, Kirara – and surprisingly, Kohaku. 

Before long they were all seated around the fire, which got some raised brows from the newcomers, but first things first; it was apparent, by the shocked stares at a blushing Inuyasha, that his tale would have to be told first.

Kagome chose to give the bare basics of Inuyasha's return, simply stating that the kami had returned him to life and not going into detail as to why – it wasn't really necessary to go into all that. On top of that, they had much more serious things to discuss at this time... like what had happened to them, and what the hell that cloud was. She could tell, however, that her friends weren't fooled – they both knew there was something about Inuyasha's return that she wasn't saying, but were willing to wait to find out the particulars, since their own circumstance was so dire.

It was, unsurprisingly, Miroku who did most of the talking.

“... everything was going well. We'd repaired Sango's old family home, and were working on reinforcing the little damage to the walls, while getting ready to repair the gates, when Kohaku arrived after discharging his debt to Sesshoumaru-sama. Or, at least, attempting to. Sesshoumaru-sama simply sent him home. But it was as if his coming triggered... something.”

“So you mean that once Kohaku showed up, that... cloud thing did, too?” Kagome asked, brow furrowed.

“No, not quite,” Miroku murmured wryly as he exchanged glances with Sango and the boy in question. “When he arrived, everything was fine. But that night... we could all feel this creeping evil slowly drawing together within the confines of the village. I went out to try to get rid of it, but while it wasn't able to attack me through my ofuda, it refused to leave, and only kept getting bigger. Then, it was as if a storm settled on the hill, high winds and screaming voices tearing at everything. I've never seen the like,” he said. “I could hear wood splintering, and knew that if we didn't get out, we'd all be destroyed, too, so I made my way back to Sango and we managed – barely – to get out.”

Fascinated, Mattaki asked, “So what happened next?”

Miroku rubbed a tired hand across a shadowed face, his eyes squinting as he thought about it. “Well, we made it safely out of the village, with a few injuries, and made our way some ways back, and just watched in astonishment as the entire place was just... wiped out. Little was left when it was over except splinters – and that black cloud. We could feel its evil, and that it had the malice of Naraku behind it, and it seemed to be hunting us, because as soon as the village was destroyed, it came after us... and we ran. We eventually found ourselves here, and we've been stuck here, unable to get out and not wanting to run and bring it into contact with anyone else. I've tried to figure out how to destroy it, but it's getting stronger,” he said tiredly, and they could all tell how badly this whole thing had worn down not only he, but the others, as well. “I... if you all had not arrived when you did, I do not think... we would have made it past this night.”

It was silent for some minutes as they all took in what had been said, and then Kagome sighed. “Well, we're going to have to figure something out, because otherwise, we're all going to be stuck here.”

They all exchanged glances, knowing she was right.

But Miroku, at least, was feeling a great deal more confident that with their help, they could break whatever curse the spider hanyou had left behind, as he hadn't been able to do by himself. In fact, he was pretty certain that Kagome would be able to deal with the cloud herself – after all, she'd been the one to overpower not only Naraku's energy, but the power of the Shikon no Tama, as well. By herself. So she should have no problem with a curse from the dark hanyou, either. 

The newcomers broke out the meat they'd hunted, to the telling gratitude of Miroku and the others – it was apparent that it had been some time since they'd had much to eat. But one question remained... their woodpile was getting low, and Kagome certainly didn't want to run out of light.

“How have you guys been getting wood?” she asked, and Miroku looked at her with tired, bleary eyes. 

“Ah. As to that, during the day, when the energy of the cloud is at its weakest, I've taken Kirara out and, with the help of my ofuda, managed to get wood to keep the fire going. I've also managed to hunt up some rabbits and grab a few vegetables, but I won't deny we're really glad to see the food you've brought, since we've had very little to share out between us all. I was also beginning to run low on ofuda, and when I'd leave I'd have to use more, because I'd have to have some for myself, and also enough to strengthen the ones around the cave. We really wouldn't have lasted more than another night or two if you hadn't shown up when you did.”

Sango nodded wearily. “We had little hope of being found... we can only thank kami that you all came when you did. But,” she frowned in curiosity, “why did you show up, anyway? Not that I'm not grateful, as I've said, it's just that we weren't expecting it.”

Kohaku nodded, just as tired as the others, but obviously still with his taciturn nature, as he continued to stay quiet and simply listen to the conversation.

Listening to them speak, Kagome's face dropped as she realized how close they'd come to losing their friends forever. She felt so guilty that she hadn't decided to come see them sooner.

“Well, I decided to come visit you guys, you know, before winter set in. We went and visited Kaede for a few days, and then came on here.” She paused for a moment, and then burst out, “Oh, you guys, I'm so sorry we didn't come sooner! I feel so terrible that you've been through something so horrible.”

Kirara mewed at her from where she was curled up with Shippo eating her fill for the first time in almost a week, and Shippo said, “She says not to feel bad – you got here in time and that's what matters. And they all know that if you had known what was happening, you'd have come sooner.”

Miroku and Sango echoed her sentiments, and Sango moved to hug her friend, enveloping her in a hug. Kagome didn't miss the wince, however, when she moved, and suddenly, she realized that Sango was still injured, and that's why she hadn't moved much since they'd arrived. Instantly, she was digging through her bag.

“You should lay back, Sango,” she said crisply as she laid out some blankets, “and let me look you over. Kaede sent us with a nice package of medicinal herbs for you guys for the winter, and I've still got some of my medical supplies.” Within moments, she had water boiling over the fire as Sango laid down, obviously in pain, and Kagome opened her First Aid kit and began pulling out antiseptic and bandages.

Once she had everything ready, she had Sango show her where she was hurt, and Kagome had to wince – she had a nasty gouge down her left side, where it looked like some piece of flying wood had caught her. The edges were getting red, and it was apparent that she was beginning to get an infection. Quickly opening her vial of her most powerful pain killer, a tincture of poppy, which she knew was just a basic form of her era's narcotic pain reliever morphine, she measured out a dose to Sango, and as soon as it began to kick in, which didn't take long, she began treating the wound, first pouring alcohol over it, after telling Mattaki to back away so he wouldn't be overpowered by the scent. Inuyasha didn't have to be told – he remembered that stuff quite well and joined his father against the back wall of the cave.

Sango, by then feeling pretty good and almost asleep, didn't react too badly to the terrible sting, and after Kagome had thoroughly cleaned the injury, she mixed up a poultice of an herb designed to pull out the rest of any infection left in the wound, and then bandaged her up. By the time she was done, Sango was asleep, for the first time in days feeling warm, safe, with a full belly and not in pain.

Once she had Sango settled, she turned to Miroku with a militant air. “Alright, you aren't injured, are you?”

Miroku, just glad to see Sango sleeping peacefully and no longer in pain, shook his head. “No, I had a few scratches, but fortunately, I missed receiving any serious injuries. The ones I did have are long gone, and Kirara's are as well,” he added with a smile as he saw Kagome's gaze fall on the firecat. “It was just Sango that got the serious injury.

After staring at him suspiciously, she decided that he was being truthful and looked at Kohaku, who also shook his head, demurring in a soft voice. Finally convinced they were all okay, she put away all her medical supplies, pulling out her own sleeping bag and laying it out near the fire so she could keep her bum from getting too cold on the hard rock. She also handed a blanket to Miroku, who took it with a grateful smile and a murmured thanks, and then she passed one to an already nodding Kohaku. 

After a little while of silence, Kagome spoke up. “So... this curse. When we were approaching, I kind of probed at it with my senses, and... it's basically made up of Naraku's youki. I figure he thought that you, by yourself, Miroku, wouldn't be able to overpower it, and it would be able to destroy you and Sango. He wasn't counting on me, and even Inuyasha, being around to help.”

“You are probably correct, Kagome-sama,” Miroku said, though his eyes widened considerably as Mattaki, who had been standing at the cave mouth watching the cloud with narrow eyes, came over and sat behind Kagome, pulling her into his embrace. “Ah, er...” he began awkwardly, then stopped, his eyes darting between the couple on the blanket, and Inuyasha, unable to figure out what to say, and Kagome blushed, her eyes falling into her lap.

Mattaki chuckled at Miroku's reaction – and Kagome's. “Some things have changed since we first met, monk.”

He blinked, then said, “I see that. I suppose it is a fortuitous thing for you both,” he chuckled in return after a moment, “seeing as how you will be together for a very long time, indeed.”

Fingers fidgeting in her lap, Kagome didn't say anything, and soon the talk turned back to their current problem. They were all, needless to say, well aware that there would have to be some sort of battle to get rid of that cloud – but Miroku was certain that with Kagome's presence, as well as Mattaki and Inuyasha, the cloud would be easy to destroy, and was no longer overly concerned. He would be able to sleep fully for the first time since this had all started, and, knowing how tired he had to be, the others fell silent and let his weariness pull him under.

Once he was good and asleep, Shippo got up and went and tucked the blanket around him and patted him gently. “Poor Miroku – I don't remember the last time I saw him looking so tired,” he practically whispered, and Inuyasha nodded.

“Keh. Fuckin' Naraku. Should'a known he'd pull some shit like this,” he growled softly, an irritated look on his face. “Everytime you think you're finished with him, like that time with Kaguya, he pops back up again. At least this time, it's not really him.”

Mattaki looked interested at mention of Kaguya. “What was Naraku's interest in Kaguya?” he asked, obviously knowing of the celestial maiden.

Inuyasha told that tale in short, succinct sentences, and Mattaki became quite intrigued. “So Naraku stole the youki of others to make himself stronger, eh?”

“Yeah.” Inuyasha looked over at Kagome. “You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?” he asked.

She blinked. “You mean, using my arrow and the Backlash Wave against it?” 

“It should work. This cloud was designed to take on Miroku, basically. It wasn't designed to take on you and I.”

“Wait a minute. You learned the secret of the Backlash Wave?” Mattaki asked, definitely surprised.

“What? You think I'm too stupid - or weak?” Inuyasha snapped, looking angry. “Yah, I figured it out – when I destroyed Ryokotsussei. And I didn't even get much more than a few scratches when I did it, either,” he sniffed, sticking his nose in the air and folding his arms into his sleeves, obviously one-upping his father.

“Well, I imagine it would be easy to kill a being that was sealed and unable to fight,” Mattaki said, grinning.

Kagome broke in before Inuyasha could go through the roof. “Ah, well, he wasn't exactly sealed, anymore, when Inuyasha fought him.” When Mattaki shot her an incredulous glance, she continued. “Somehow, Naraku found out about the dragon, and who he was. So he went to where you'd sealed him, and broke the seal by using his miasma to dissolve your fang. So... Ryokotsussei woke up, and recognized Inuyasha as your blood when we arrived, so he attacked him.”

Mattaki barked something that had Inuyasha snapping his head around to look at him, then asked, “How did you find the Backlash Wave?” 

Inuyasha shrugged. “I smelled it. It wasn't hard.”

Looking thoughtful, Mattaki eyed Tessaiga where it was sheathed on his son's hip, and then said, “When I retrieved it from where it came to rest when you descended to hell, I could feel a difference in it, though I haven't really tested it to see what that difference was. Care to tell me what you've done to my fang?” he asked, with a smirk on his face.

His son answered with a matching smirk. “Oi, it ain't just your fang anymore, old man. One of Naraku's incarnations, Goshinki, snapped Tessaiga in half, and when Totosai fixed it, he added one of my fangs into the sword. It's got a lot more attacks now than it did when you first had it made.”

Mattaki couldn't help the look of pride on his face as he looked at his son, and Inuyasha practically preened. “What kind of attacks?”

So Inuyasha stood and drew the fabled sword, transforming it into its different forms – red Tessaiga, the barrier-breaker, adamant Tessaiga, dragon-scale Tessaiga, and meidou Tessaiga, as well, explaining what each one was. Of course, Mattaki recognized the meidou form, but the others were a surprise, and Kagome kind of dazed off into her own little world as the two, father and son, had their first _true_ conversation that was without anger or resentment on Inuyasha's part, and with a great deal of pride on Mattaki's for the son he'd never thought to know.

 _He is much, much stronger than I'd ever hoped he would be. Now if I can just teach him some proper technique,_ he thought wryly to himself.

“Mmm.” He frowned after a moment. “Tell me... how did it come about that you got Tessiaga in the first place? It wasn't really meant to be found.”

“Feh,” Inuyasha snarled lightly, “why don't ya ask that bastard Sesshoumaru? He's the one that figured it out using a totally dirty trick.”

“Dirty trick?”

“Yeah. He showed me a carriage with a woman held in chains – it looked just like my mother,” Inuyasha said softly, obvious pain in his eyes. “When I tried to save her, it turned out it was Mu'onna, instead. That's how he figured it out, and then he took the pearl from my eye and opened the portal to your remains.”

Mattaki looked a bit angry at that, but asked, “So you were able to draw it from the pedestal? That wasn't supposed to happen.”

“No... Kagome drew it.” He barked out a soft laugh. “Pissed the hell out of Sesshoumaru, I can tell you that – that a human female could do something he couldn't. We fought when he tried to kill her, and I cut off his arm.”

“It seems as though I need to have a talk with your brother,” he said after a moment, obviously displeased with his dirty tactic of using Inuyasha's mother's likeness in such a manner.

Inuyasha shrugged. “I wouldn't bother. It turns out that even though he went along with it, it was Jaken's idea in the first place. That damn little toad.” He laughed. “Kagome sure stomped him, though.”

“So how did you break Mu'onna's spell?” 

“I didn't – Kagome did. Good thing, too – I was almost a goner.”

The daiyoukai nuzzled into the little priestess' shoulder affectionately, thankful that she'd been there to help his son. “She wasn't afraid?”

At that, Inuyasha laughed harder, though still kept it low enough that he didn't wake the others. “Hell no! She did the same thing she did the other day at the village – she broke the spell on me, stomped Jaken, and cursed Sesshoumaru out. Then, when he disappeared into the portal, I wasn't even gonna follow – but before I could even think about it, she was already halfway through it, claiming that if Sesshoumaru was in there, then she had to go in there to, and I quote, 'stomp him'.”

Incredulous, Mattaki looked down at a blushing woman, who, though seemingly in her own little world, had at least heard the conversation somewhat, because she was refusing to look up. He could see the severe blush, however, even on the sides of her face, and he nudged her with a laugh.

“Stomp him?” he chortled. “Oh, I would have loved to see _that_ confrontation. Sesshoumaru probably didn't know what to make of _you,_ my dear. No wonder he respects you so much now. You're probably the only one besides me or his mother, or Inuyasha here, that's ever stood up to him. And especially being human. You probably confused the hell out of him.”

Inuyasha snorted. “That's putting it mildly. He asked her what she was. Not who, but what. Like she was some kinda bug or somethin'. But he was pissed, that's for sure. So he sends out a bunch of his poison at her – I really thought she was a goner when she went down along with Tessaiga. But then she pops back up out of his poison and the melted bone a few moments later, and I thought he was going to have a heart attack. _I_ almost had a heart attack... especially when she told him she was going to make him pay for trying to kill her – she actually had the nerve to point the Tessaiga at him when she said it, too,” he said as his father's eyes widened and he almost choked on his laughter. “Then she hands me the sword as cool as anything and tells me to go for it.”

Kagome had started to doze off as Inuyasha told his father tales of their adventures, and it only got harder for her to stay awake as he nuzzled her off and on as he spoke with his son. Before long, she was completely asleep; despite the danger lingering outside the cave, she knew she was completely safe – Mattaki wouldn't let anything harm her.

The inuyoukai smiled slightly as he talked with his son as Kagome's aura succumbed to her weariness and she fell into sleep; he rumbled deep in his chest a soothing cadence while he enjoyed the conversation with Inuyasha. From the things he was hearing, their little group had definitely gone through quite a few adventures. He'd have enjoyed seeing some of the things they'd encountered, he couldn't deny.

As the fire started to die down, he finally got up and settled Kagome in her bag, before stoking the fire up a little. Inuyasha had finally fallen silent, and both exchanged a glance as they heard a hiss and one of the charged ofuda crackle. It was late, approaching midnight, and the cloud was at its strongest at this point.

But it was not strong enough to counter Kagome's reiki, and each time the cloud touched one, a little more of its strength would diminish.

He moved over to the entrance and looked out, his eyes flaring redly in challenge to the cloud as it took notice of his presence – it was aware, in a limited sense, and definitely angry as it roiled and churned with discontent at its failure to expend its fury on its chosen victims. He snarled at it and flared his aura, and the cloud moved back in response, nowhere near as strong as the daiyoukai facing it.

Inuyasha joined him at the entrance to the cave, and looked out at the last remnant of the spider hanyou with eerily glowing eyes. “Keh. From the moment I found out about that bastard Naraku, I've hated his guts. I thought we were done with him when we finally sent his ass to hell. And then we find this shit.”

“This wasn't the only thing he left behind,” Mattaki grunted. 

Inuyasha's head whipped around and he looked at his father with lowering eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“Mt. Hakurei.”

The hanyou froze. “What about Mt. Hakurei – and how do you know about that, anyway?”

“When Kagome finally recovered from her injuries, she asked to go back to Hakurei. She told me what happened there, and she wanted to make sure that all those clumps of flesh were destroyed. We found the passage where you went into the mountain, and I even have that mercenary's trick sword. When we got to the heart of the mountain, I flew her down to the bottom, and indeed, she found some of the clumps of flesh that were still living, though most of it had turned to stone when the mountain blew its top and the sun found them. So she purified what remained so that nothing could possibly happen to bring that bastard back.”

Inuyasha punched the side of the entrance as he glared at the black mass that was pierced by occasional eerie swirling lights. “Fuck!” he gritted. “I'm so sick of dealin' with this bastard! Won't he ever just die?”

His father reached out and clapped a hand to his shoulder. “Yes. We'll take care of this last bit of mischief he left behind, and that will be the end of it. It's too bad he wasn't an ally instead of a enemy, though,” he mused, as Inuyasha looked at him incredulously. “Come, my son, you must admit, evil aside, he was a tactical genius.”

Disgruntled, Inuyasha growled sourly. “Keh. Maybe, but he was as evil as they come and he destroyed way too many lives. I just want this shit to end.”

“Yes,” he drawled thoughtfully, “I agree. I never had to truly deal with him, and his interference even this much has annoyed me. I, too, will be glad to end this.” He glanced back to the sleeping people. “I wonder what your friends will choose to do now, though... what with the village having been so totally destroyed.”

Shrugging, Inuyasha cast a last glance filled with hatred back at the black mass, then turned and went back to the fire to sit against a boulder near it. Clutching Tessaiga in his familiar pose, he said, “Dunno... but I don't think they're gonna end up goin' back. Too much bad stuff has gone on there. It's too haunted now, and I don't think a cleansing's gonna really be enough.”

As the fire crackled behind him, Mattaki had to agree, and with one last warning glance and snarl at the writhing cloud, he turned and made his way over to Kagome, sitting with his back against the wall right behind her.

It fell silent as the two dozed off and on, one snoozing as the other watched, switching off and on through the night.

As morning approached and Mattaki woke up so Inuyasha could sleep, he pondered their situation.

Daylight would bring an impromptu planning session, and he knew he'd have to make very sure that Kagome didn't just jump into the middle of it all in her determination to finish Naraku's interference in her friends lives once and for all. He sighed.

_This is most definitely not going to be easy._


	14. Chapter 14

Sure enough, come morning, Kagome was all for marching outside, purifying the hell out of the cloud, and then taking their leave as though there were no danger to her plan at all.

A steadily glaring Mattaki finally convinced her that perhaps there was a better way, and she finally fell silent, letting the others get a word – or ten – in edgewise.

“This cloud is a curse sent by Naraku to destroy those that opposed him. It is fueled somewhat by the power of the Shikon, as it is obvious that this curse was set in place _before_ the final battle. It is held in place by his malice and hate, and while it isn't truly living, it does have a somewhat limited awareness,” Miroku began, a scholarly mien on his face as he spoke. “Its sole purpose is revenge and destruction. You four are not part of its reason for being, so unless you directly attack it, or get in its way, it won't go after you. However, it won't hesitate to go _through_ you if it has to.”

“I wonder why Naraku even did something like this,” Kagome said, frustrated with the whole thing. This 'curse' was out of character for the spider hanyou as far as she was concerned.

Inuyasha looked at her incredulously. “How can you even ask that? It's just like something he'd do, the sadistic bastard!”

“You don't understand what I'm saying! Naraku was totally convinced of his own superiority – he always, always just _knew_ he was going to win. This goes against who he was – leaving behind a curse against those who opposed him in case _they_ won? He would never have believed that we were going to win! So... I guess I'm just surprised that he was able to admit, even to himself, that he might _not_ win long enough to actually _do_ something like this,” she sighed, her voice calming back down. “This wasn't something that he crafted in a few hours – it took some time – and effort, even with the jewel.”

It got quiet as they all thought about that; even Inuyasha had to reluctantly admit that Kagome was right – Naraku was constitutionally incapable of even thinking that there was a _possibility_ that he would not win in the end.

“Perhaps he set this in motion without care for whether he won or lost.”

Everyone turned to look at the daiyoukai who'd spoken. It was silent for a moment, and then Miroku asked, “What do you mean?”

“It is possible that he felt that even though he would win his goals, i.e. gaining the jewel, that you might all still live through it. This might have been his attempt at destroying you afterward without him actually having to lift a hand – sort of a cleanup detail. Or perhaps the jewel taunted him with the possibility of his loss, and this was his reaction to that.” He looked up from where he'd been staring at the now low fire, his eyes flashing golden in the moment. “It was obviously triggered by you four going back to the village, and without assistance, would have succeeded in destroying you. The fact that Naraku is actually dead and defeated doesn't really change this reality, however – we still must decide how to deal with his curse if we wish to leave this cave and continue our lives past this point,” he reminded them.

They all subsided at that, knowing he was right. It really didn't matter how or why this curse had been born – the only thing that mattered was destroying it.

“So how do we do that?” came a quiet voice after a moment, and everyone looked at the one who'd spoken - Kohaku. It was really his first entire sentence since the group had arrived yesterday to find their missing companions holed up in this cave.

“Feh. I don't see why me'n Kagome can't just go out there, use the Backlash Wave and her arrow like we have before, and blow it to smithereens,” Inuyasha groused sourly, obviously impatient with the talk and wanting to get moving.

Mattaki looked up at his son. “In case you've forgotten, for the Backlash Wave to work, you need the enemy to attack you with its youki, first. This cloud, while it _does_ contain some of the youki of Naraku, cannot really use it to attack.”

The hanyou grumbled, but dropped that suggestion. “So what do you suggest then, old man? Since you keep shooting us all down, that mean _you_ got some idea?”

'Well, first of all, we're definitely going to have to lure it out of here,” he said, casting a dry look at his son. “I don't know about you, but I really don't think there's room to be fighting that thing in here, or even out there. So the first thing we have to do is escape.”

There were nods all around at that – none of them wanted to be fighting that cloud from within it while stuck in a small cave and stumbling all over each other.

“I personally believe that the only things needed to destroy this curse are Kagome's arrows,” Miroku said after a few moments. “She can easily overwhelm the youki, and with a blessing also attached to the arrow, destroy the curse itself. While you or Inuyasha,” he said, addressing Mattaki respectfully and with a light bow, “could destroy the youki portion, you wouldn't be able to do the same to the curse. You could, of course, keep the curse from affecting _you,_ since you are stronger than it is, but the rest of us would still be in trouble.” 

“So we just get out into the open, and then point Kagome at it and let her go?” Inuyasha grumbled. “Kinda boring for the rest of us.”

“At this point, Inuyasha, I'd be happy with some 'boring',” Sango retorted pertly, piping up for the first time that morning. “I've had enough excitement lately to last me several years.”

“Keh,” he mumbled in response, not able to think of anything to say to that.

“I think you're forgetting something, Miroku,” Kagome piped up after a moment. When he looked at her with a furrowed brow, she said, “I don't know how to do a blessing. I've never been trained, remember?”

The monk blinked at her, then his own brow creased as he thought about her words. “Hm. I had forgotten. Your show of power when defeating Naraku pushed that fact out of my mind.” He rubbed his chin absently as he considered things, his eyes falling to the rocky ground; everyone watched him, wondering what he would come up with next. It took a few minutes, and then he said, “Perhaps we could... combine our efforts... yes, that might work.”

“Eh?”

He looked up at Kagome at her confused squeak. “If we were to combine our powers, we should be able to have the same effect. I can chant a blessing to one of my sutra. Then we will take it and attach it to your arrow, and as you infuse the arrow with your power, it will also attach itself to the blessing. It would be as if I was taking and guiding your power in the way it needed to go – my sutra and houriki acting as a guide for your reiki. I'm almost positive it would work. But... I might need to use two – or more - sutra with blessings to make it strong enough not only to channel your power, but to overpower Naraku's twisted curse.”

Mattaki opened his mouth to say something when Miroku spoke again. “Kagome-sama, would you pull out one of your arrows and pour your power into it just as if we were battling and you were about to release it? I need to get a feel for the amount of power you are now capable of channeling – I need to know exactly how many sutra I will need,” he chuckled sheepishly as he scratched the back of his neck. “You have grown in strength so much that I cannot say just how much stronger than me you truly are. A miscalculation here could have... rather negative results.”

“Negative results?” Mattaki asked, his voice ominous – he'd forgotten what he'd just been about to say when he'd heard that. “What do you mean by 'negative results'?

“Since we don't know exactly how Naraku created this curse, or its exact parameters, a miscalculation could completely negate what we are trying to do, while riling the youki contained within it and making the thing, well... basically angry.” He scrunched his face up at the zap of energy that came from the entrance as the cloud tried to push past the sutra there again and failed, an odd sound being forced from it as it got punished for its try. “Or angri _er,_ as the case may be.”

“Then I suppose that you had best be sure what you are doing, monk,” Mattaki said blandly, though the warning in it was heard by everyone as Kagome obediently pulled an arrow and flamed it as though she were going to attack. “I will not suffer anything to harm Kagome.”

The entire cave burned with pink light, and Inuyasha jumped to his feet with a yell, scrambling to the far side of the cave followed by Shippo, Kirara, and even Mattaki, though he moved more slowly, his eyes narrowed thoughtfully on her brightly glowing arrow.

“Is that your peak strength?” he asked, and Kagome shook her head. 

“No, but in these close quarters I don't dare go any higher. I don't want to hurt you guys, you know,” she responded tartly, letting her power die back down as Inuyasha huffed at her.

Miroku shook his head. “That was more than enough – with me basically guiding her powers with my own, as it were, what she just showed should be more than enough to completely purge that cloud. You are all lucky that you are not filled with darkness and malice, or I daresay you would have been purified by that little show, as well.”

“So the bottom line here is, we need to get out into the open, have you attach a blessing – or two or three – to Kagome's arrow, and then we let her loose on the cloud, is that what you are saying?” Mattaki finally asked, obviously becoming a bit annoyed at the talking and wanting to get on with it.

Miroku exchanged a rueful glance with Kagome and nodded. “Yes, that would pretty much cover it, I believe.”

“Can you actually do the blessing sutra now and attach them to an arrow while we are here, or do you have to do it at the last minute?” he asked curtly; the General had obviously come to the fore, now, and he was already planning their salvo against their enemy.

“I can do it now,” Miroku assured him.

“Good. Then I suggest that you get to work on those blessings, then attaching them to one of Kagome's arrows. Everyone else should gather their belongings and get ready to head out – the fire's going to die soon, and this cave isn't all that comfortable as it is,” he said, once more going to the entrance to glare at their nemesis.

Without further ado, Kagome handed an arrow to Miroku as he took out his writing supplies and last bits of paper and began writing several blessings and even an anti-curse. She watched him for a moment, then turned and began gathering all her things, the extra blankets and the like, so that she could fold them all up and stuff them back in her bag.

Once that was done, she took Mattaki's leather traveling pouch and wrapped the leftover meat in it – they'd left it smoking over the fire all night, and it was now good and preserved and ready for consumption whenever it was needed. It would last at least two or three days, which was more than long enough.

It wasn't long until everyone's tasks were being punctuated by Miroku's chanting as he set the blessings and anti-curse, and Kagome found herself almost wanting to sway with the sonorous sound as she sat back down, her own things, as well as the few things Mattaki had, packed up and ready to go. Her eyes fell closed as she seemed to fall into a light trance; she could feel Miroku's words, though she didn't understand them, as though they were physical touches, and for some reason, each syllable seemed to almost tug at her reiki, beckoning it forth.

She didn't fight it; allowing her reiki to come out as it seemed to want to, she didn't even notice when Miroku fell silent, as did the rest of the group, everyone staring at her unseeing person as a pink glow surrounded her, arching away from her and stretching out to touch and infuse the sutra that Miroku had just finished with.

Finally, the pull from the sutra ended, and after a few moments, Kagome woke from her light trance, not even aware of what had just happened. She frowned as her eyes opened and she found everyone staring at her.

“What?” she asked slowly, suspiciously.

It was Miroku that answered. “You aren't perhaps as far from controlling your power as it might seem, Kagome-sama – it responds much more easily now to what is going on around it. I think that all you really need is lessons in guiding the flow when you require it. It already answers to your call quite easily.”

Her frown deepened. “What do you mean? I didn't do anything.”

“Ah, but you did. My chanting put you into a light trance, and when the sutra called to you, you responded, though on a subconscious level. Still, when you called your reiki, unconscious as it was, it came without hesitance, as it used to do. You only have need of being taught the way to guide it consciously. That really shouldn't take all that long. When a miko, or a monk, is trained, the longest part of the training is getting the ki to respond to its master's call consistently and easily. You have passed that stage.”

“So... what did I do?” she asked as everyone began to stand in preparation to depart, and Miroku handed her back the now prepared arrow.

“Why don't you tell me?” he asked, an inquisitive look on his face as she almost gingerly took the arrow. It was clear that he wished to see if she could tell what she had done without conscious thought.

Looking the arrow over carefully, she opened her senses to it, and immediately recognized her own power signature, twining with and overpowering Miroku's houriki. But when her inner eye fastened to the slips of elaborately written sutra, that inner eye was almost blinded by the pink glow of her power being guided along gently by Miroku's through the spell it contained. 

It took a moment, but...

“Oh! I see it,” she said, getting excited. “It's like the sutra is written with my reiki!”

He nodded, pleased as his thoughts on her control and ability was confirmed. “Yes. The ink I wrote the sutra with is basically acting as a channel, a guide, for your own power. To anyone on the spiritual plane, what they will see is a counter-curse, and two blessings, written in your reiki. And what has been written in power, will remain visible on the spiritual plane forever. This curse of Naraku's will never be able to be restored or revived, no matter the power of the person or being trying.”

“Why would someone try to revive a dispelled curse?” Inuyasha asked gruffly as they all piled to the entrance.

“Because in some cases, depending on the strength of the counter-curse, it is easier to use a curse that is already in existence, and has merely been banished. If the person banishing the curse barely managed the feat, then the person reviving the curse would be adding their power to it, thus reviving it and making it stronger, without having to go to all the trouble and time of creating a powerful curse on their own from scratch,” Miroku replied calmly.

“While this is certainly interesting,” Mattaki said crisply from the head of the group, “now is not the time. This is how we are going to leave – I will go first, followed by Sango, Shippo, Kirara, and her brother. Kagome and Miroku will walk together to keep an eye on the cloud and make sure it does not get a chance to touch anyone, and then you will come behind, Inuyasha. This way the ones who have no real defense from this cloud are in the middle and protected by those of us who do.” He looked sternly at them all. “Do not stray from your place for any reason, and if the cloud tries to attack, leave a counterattack to Kagome and Miroku, who will use sutra to keep it at bay, until we can get out of these tight quarters and back into open territory. That is when we will make our stand.”

No one said anything, simply shuffling into the order that Mattaki had given, and when everyone was ready, he had Miroku quickly step up next to him and neutralize the existing sutra around the entrance before falling back to his place.

The moment the sutra went dead, Mattaki moved, and as they all exited the cave, the cloud gave off some kind of odd growling and made for the four beings it was determined to destroy. Not missing a beat, Kagome tossed sutra at it, forcing it to pull back.

That odd growling sound got louder, but with no choice but to follow behind the group, it did so, the pernicious nature of it beginning to make Kagome feel a bit ill as it trailed them, hatred and an almost insane need to destroy emanating from it quite strongly.

The time it took for them to leave behind the narrow, rocky ravine that they'd been in seemed like forever to Kagome, whose skin almost felt raw at the evil thing following them and looking for any weakness to exploit. Trying to keep it from finding one was wearing on her, and she could feel the same concern from Miroku.

All it would take is just one touch – _one_ _touch_ to one of those it had been meant for would be fatal, a virulent, painful death and more than likely a compromised afterlife, as well – Naraku wouldn't bother with something that would just kill – he'd want something that would curse his opponents forever, if he could. With the jewel's assistance, he very well could have found a way to keep the spirits of those he'd murdered with said curse bound to the place they died without ever having a chance at surcease, a chance to leave it all behind and be reincarnated.

He had been a truly twisted, hateful individual even as a human, and becoming a hanyou had only added to it.

A shout of alarm and another hiss; Miroku had caught a tendril aiming for himself just as it had almost reached him as Kagome tossed one at another tendril reaching for Kohaku. Kirara hissed at the cloud, her fur on end, and Kagome, getting angry, furrowed her brow and pushed her aura out around the group in a blast to ward the cloud away – at least temporarily. She had to keep the power of her attack down, though, so as not to injure her youkai companions, so the push did little more than just that, making the cloud back away again.

It was enough, though, and seeing the advantage in the moment with the cloud pushed so far back, Mattaki had everyone else fall behind him and swiftly had Kagome move up with her bow out and her prepared arrow ready.

Sighting along her arrow, Kagome couldn't help the prayer that left her lips as she tracked the cloud, which was actually getting larger and once again coming close. Just as it seemed to pick up speed, she inhaled, held the breath, and then released.

 _Please, please work!_ she cried inwardly as everyone else waited breathlessly for the explosion sure to come...

And they weren't disappointed.

The arrow hit the cloud dead center, and a great pulse came from the black mass as it swallowed the arrow trailing pink fire. For several moments, it almost seemed as though the arrow was going to have no more effect than that... but then bright pink radiance tore through the mass, practically shredding it as great rents appeared in it and it wavered, and then basically just fell apart, the blackness fading away as though it'd never been. 

The moment it did, however...

Startled shouts and the sounds of swords being drawn and curses were heard... Naraku had once again left them grasping for straws at the complexity of yet another of his plans.

When the cloud was finally torn away, it was clear that even Mattaki's senses had been deceived, because the thing that rose out of the remains of the cloud was like nothing he'd ever seen before – and he'd seen a lot in his centuries. 

“Looks like Naraku was prepared in case you all found help against the curse itself,” Inuyasha shouted, “but what the hell is that thing?!”

It was Kagome's voice that rose in startlement as she stared at the being before them with wide eyes. “It... it looks like...”

“Like what, Kagome?!” Mattaki snarled, sword drawn and ready to attack the thing that was staring at them all hungrily and snarling challengingly.

“I think it was called Cerberus!” she shrieked. “In Greek mythology, it was a three-headed dog that guarded the way to the underworld!”

Mattaki snarled, then sheathed his sword. “Then this fight is mine! All of you, get back out of the way!”

Everyone else took off running except Inuyasha, who looked reluctant to back away from any opponent, but who did as told as his father actually barked at him, and Kagome, who looked at him with desperate worry. 

“Go! I will be fine, Kagome – but _I_ am alpha here, and it is challenging me with its snarls at this very moment. I will not bow down to any dog, three-headed or not!” 

Hesitating for one last second, Kagome finally did as she was told with a desperately fearful look and a cry of “Be careful!” before running off to join the others as far from the soon-to-be field of battle as possible.

The group, huddled all together with Inuyasha to guard them with a drawn and transformed Tessaiga, watched in shock and terrible awe as Mattaki's youki practically exploded from him, wrapping around him in a destructive kaleidoscope of white power and fierce winds. He disappeared from view for several long moments, and when he finally re-alighted on the ground, it was in a vastly different form.

Kagome couldn't help but stare, even with the seriousness of the battle that was about to commence. She hadn't seen him in his true form up to this point, and he was massive... and beautiful. Much, much bigger than Sesshoumaru in his true form, Mattaki towered over the three-headed dog by a good bit, though the other inu, dark and ugly as he was, was built heavier, with a denser bone-structure.

Gleaming white in the sun, Mattaki almost hurt to look at, and as he threw back his head and trumpeted a return challenge at the dark hellhound facing him, Kagome shivered with fear – for him. This huge dog was obviously going to be no mean opponent, and it occurred to her to wonder where Naraku got the idea to do this. Had the spider hanyou truly just made up a twisted version of an inuyoukai when he created this thing, or had he somehow heard of the legend of the three-headed dog that guarded the underworld of a people far across the seas? Could this thing truly be Cerberus, plucked from its place guarding Hades' kingdom by the power of the Shikon no Tama?

Too stunned and worried to really be paying attention, she was taken aback a little when Miroku, who'd been studying it from his place further back holding on to a shocked Sango, said, “It is youkai, though it's youki is strange.” He looked at her as she glanced at him over her shoulder. “You mentioned a name... Cerberus? Was it a youkai?”

She turned back around as the three heads of the dog howled angrily at Mattaki's declaration of his status as alpha – apparently, three heads or not, dogs were dogs, and the strong were always going to declare themselves as alpha until defeated in combat.

“I don't know. He comes from the legends of the Greek people. In them, Cerberus guarded the gates into the kingdom of Hades, the god of the underworld - and the dead,” she replied, wringing her hands with fear as the dark dog snarled something with its lips pulled back from its teeth that made Mattaki lunge at him. Just that fast, the battle was joined. Kagome flinched as the two titanic bodies collided, the sound so loud that it actually shook the ground.

It didn't take long for blood to be flying, and Mattaki was at a distinct disadvantage against a dog with three heads – which meant a lot more teeth. But surprisingly enough, he certainly wasn't losing, and his white coat was soon splattered with the blood of his opponent, as well. He didn't make much in the way of sound, save fearsome growls or snarls, though the Cerberus dog cried out much more as Mattaki tore out great chunks of flesh from its heavier, slower frame.

With every eye plastered on the battle, it wasn't surprising that no one noticed the youki of another strong inu approaching until he landed next to Kagome and Inuyasha, his eyes glowing redly as he watched his father and the three-headed dog battle.

“This dog is strange – it scents very slightly of Naraku,” he declared, surprising the group. “You will tell me what you know of this,” he glanced sideways at Kagome for a single moment, before his eyes went back to the fight.

It took Kagome a moment to gather herself; the surprise of his arrival and her worry and fear for Mattaki keeping her mind muddled, but after forcibly ordering her thoughts, she told him everything they knew in short, succinct sentences.

“Hn. The hanyou meant to bait this one with that beast,” he declared, his eyes narrowing. 

“Oi, what do ya mean?” Inuyasha snapped. “He set this curse on Miroku and the others... you wouldn't have even been involved.”

“Why do you think I am here, Inuyasha?” he asked scathingly as the ground shook again as Mattaki got beneath the Cerberus look-alike and knocked him over. “The evil feel of it drew me here – and even had the curse finished off your friends, this dog would still have been left behind. He wasn't just going after them – he was challenging me, as well.” He smirked. “Of course, he did not expect his beast to have to fight father. That is another matter all together.”

Sesshoumaru's eyes closed and his head lifted in enjoyment as he took in the scent of the other dog's blood, and his lip curled. “It is a construct. I recognize the base smell of this demon – the part not mixed with the smell of the hanyou, or the Shikon no Tama. Naraku took it and forced it into this form – likely to mock me.” After a moment more of taking in the scents, he opened his eyes and looked down at his brother with a flat expression. “It appears your luck in getting out of bad situations has held, Inuyasha – I had been told you had foolishly followed that walking corpse to hell. How did you escape the consequences for _that_ dishonorable decision?”

Kagome ignored the brotherly verbal spar that was starting – she was used to them, and at this point, she had other worries on her mind – though she did find it kind of reassuring that Sesshoumaru showed no concern over his father's battle.

She could see why. Though Mattaki was definitely injured, it didn't appear to be slowing him down much, and that three-headed thing appeared to be much the worse for wear, one of the heads already hanging loosely, appearing as though it were dead. The white hound that was the daiyoukai she was in love with had apparently identified those extra heads as its most dangerous aspect, and gone after them with a vengeance. She winced and looked away as a gurgling scream came from another of the heads as Mattaki lunged forward and sank his huge fangs into its throat, then braced himself and ripped it out as he tore his head to the side. 

Huge chunks of spoiled flesh lay all around the field of battle as blood spurted from the ruined throat, and the final head of the Cerberus dog – as she was just going to call it – let out a haunting cry as it slipped a bit in its own blood and had to compensate by leaving its flank open as its head whipped around trying to find its balance. Mattaki took instant advantage, ramming into its side and tearing more flesh out, while at the same time trying to knock it down. It almost looked like he had succeeded for a moment, but then the flailing claws of the beast caught on some buried rock in the ground and allowed it to stabilize again.

It was apparent that Mattaki was trying to get the heavier dog down, because if he could, he would win – it was too slow and awkward to get up quickly, leaving it unable to defend itself. Still, though he hadn't succeeded yet, it was only a matter of time, and the black dog, two heads hanging limp and half torn away from their necks, was bleeding heavily and panting so hard it was almost hyperventilating. And Mattaki continued the attack, not letting the dog get a moment to regroup or catch a breath, pressing his advantage despite his own injuries - which Sesshoumaru interrupted his argument with Inuyasha to inform a very upset Kagome were not as bad as they looked.

“Did I not heal my own injuries from Magatsuhi with naught but my will?” he asked her. “Do you not think my father is capable of the same? You worry for nothing, woman,” he intoned, before turning back to level his brother with more caustic words.

The rest of the group also pretty much ignored the contretemps between Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru – they'd seen so many of these arguments that they didn't mean anything anymore. But every eye was peeled to the fight that was coming to an end out on the bloody plain – Mattaki, shouldering into the other canine despite the painful looking bite he suffered for it, finally managed to knock the other dog off-balance enough, with the slippery ground adding to the effect, that he was able to get him down, and at that point, it was over – as the dark dog lay helpless and too exhausted to fight any further, Mattaki went for its last throat and ripped into it, the spray of blood drenching him further in the red gore of his opponent's spent life force. The beast shuddered and tried to draw air, but unable to, slowly bled out as it suffocated to death beneath the triumphant paws of its destroyer.

When it took its last gasping breath, then fell still, Mattaki raised his head and howled his victory, a declaration of his Alpha status singing into the air along with it, and Sesshoumaru turned away from his brother, his eyes flashing redly again as he looked on the field of battle with approval.

“It appears that this one's father is still just as destructive as he always was, and even more powerful,” he said, satisfaction sounding in his voice as Kagome glanced at him disbelievingly. Her stomach was churning from the sight and smell – this was the worst field of battle she'd seen in all her time in the Sengoku Jidai – and Sesshoumaru _approved_ of it?

Even Inuyasha appeared to find the whole thing to his liking as his lip curled and a fang slipped out as he joined his brother in looking over the carnage their father had left behind, and Kagome, revolted, turned away, refusing to look any further.

The others all appeared to be taking it a little better than her, though they didn't seem to enjoy the carnage, they were more inured to it, and so simply watched as the white dog once again surrounded himself with his power, and then as Mattaki emerged from the glow, looking none the worse for wear. Even his clothing was pristine, not a speck of blood still on him anywhere.

“Ugh. Now _that_ would come in handy,” Sango sighed as she watched the male walk back towards them all. “If we could do that, we wouldn't have had to spend all that time looking for streams and hot springs after a battle. And just imagine not having to wash your clothes!”

“Huh?” Kagome looked at her, confused.

Sango pointed behind her at the slowly approaching daiyoukai. “Look!”

Reluctantly, eyeing Sango suspiciously, she turned and her eyes caught on Mattaki striding nonchalantly back towards them as though he'd just been for a walk in the park – and looking like it, too. Her jaw dropped.

“Wha-what?” she sputtered, not knowing whether to be angry or just glad that he didn't appear to be hurt at all.

She decided on anger as he joined them once more with a pleased expression on his face. “If you could do this kind of thing, then why didn't you do this when... when, well, when you fought Ryokotsussei and Takemaru? Instead you _died!_ ” she howled, hands on hips and glaring mightily at a bemused Mattaki.

“Because I'm stronger now than I was then,” he answered, blinking at her rage, not sure why she was so angry. “That was two hundred years ago. And I still had some ability to do it then – but the injuries I sustained then were much worse, as well, between the dragon, and then going after Izayoi. I had to go through Takemaru's entire army to get to her. And if you've forgotten, I am no longer able to be killed. I wouldn't be able to protect you in the way the kami want if I could be.”

Still angry, but not understanding why and not knowing what else to say, she huffed and turned away and stormed off, just so glad that he was okay – and truthfully, feeling silly that she'd forgotten that fact and been so worried. He'd really been in no danger, just like Sesshoumaru had said, but she figured it was going to take time to sink in that she didn't have to fear losing him to an opponent. 

Mattaki watched her stomp off for a moment, then looked at Inuyasha, who shrugged. “Keh. Just let her be for a few. She gets that way sometimes.”

“I'll go talk to her,” Sango said, setting Hiraikotsu against a rocky outcropping and slowly moving off after Kagome, her stride a little stiff and slow as her injury was still quite sore.

Nodding, Mattaki stretched after a moment, looking like nothing so much as a cat that got the cream as he settled back into his normal relaxed stance. “That was quite enjoyable,” he sighed. “It's been so long since I've seen battle in my true form. I do hope it's not that long again before I am able to do so.”

“Hn.” Sesshoumaru agreed. He looked out at the ruined field just as Kohaku and Miroku, who was toting Shippo, moved up to stand with the three inuyoukai.

“Well, that is certainly a mess, to be sure. I was quite used to cleaning such messes up with the kazanna, but now that it is gone, I suppose the mess will have to stay as it is.”

“It will not remain that way for long,” Mattaki assured him as he turned and began following along in the direction Kagome had taken, the others falling into place around him and Kohaku grabbing up the Hiraikotsu as he passed it. “As soon as we leave, the carrion eaters – youkai and mortal alike – will be on it, and within a few weeks, there will be naught but bone left behind.”

“True,” Miroku agreed.

“Now that the curse is dispelled, what will you do?” Mattaki asked curiously, looking over at the monk as he rubbed thoughtfully at his shoulder.

“I am not certain. We obviously cannot return to the slayer's village. Perhaps... return to Kaede, and ask if we may stay there, at least for the winter. I can think of nowhere else to go, and though it would be crowded, it is better than freezing,” he sighed.

“And after? Once the winter has passed?”

“I would have to talk to Sango, obviously, but we will probably just decide to stay in the village. Build our own hut there. We are known there, and welcome, and what is left of Sango's old village will never make a home for us now. It is too haunted,” he replied.

The group fell silent for a moment, and then Mattaki offered, “You may winter with us at my home, if you wish. It is certainly large enough, and there is no reason for you to crowd yourselves and the elder miko into a tiny hut when I have so much space available. Then, come summer, you can build your hut and move as you are ready.”

Miroku looked surprised, then bowed lightly in gratitude. “Thank you for the offer. I will speak to Sango and see what she thinks, but I daresay we will most likely take you up on that.”

Mattaki nodded, and then turned to his eldest son, who had so far followed along quietly. “So, Sesshoumaru – where did you leave Jaken this time?” he asked, a smirk in his voice that had the younger daiyoukai narrowing his eyes at his father, wondering what the amusement was for.

“Does it matter? As the presence that drew me here is now gone, I will take my leave,” he glanced at his brother, a still disapproving light in his eyes as he did, “but I will come to you when the snows start and spend some time there at your home. After all, I am certain you are suffering for a lack of a _true_ opponent, and I am sure you could use a good spar.”

Before Inuyasha could get started, Mattaki waved a hand at his eldest son and nodded. “Then I will see you at that time. Be well, Sesshoumaru.”

The inuyoukai nodded. “Be well, father,” he returned, then in a whirl of white silk, he disappeared, leaving his younger brother sputtering and muttering sarcastically.

“ _Bastard,”_ he hissed irritatedly. He cracked his knuckles. “One of these days I'm gonna show him a thing or two, and he's not gonna know what hit him.”

Mattaki stared at his son, as did everyone else, and then started laughing. “I'd love to see that, Inuyasha,” he finally gasped, and to the hanyou's frustrated cursing, the group continued following behind the annoyed female figure that was still stomping along up ahead, though it appeared that Sango had managed to get her to calm down somewhat.

The daiyoukai just shook his head at his youngest son, actually glad they'd gone on this trip, the curse and its circumstances notwithstanding. He'd finally managed to have some quality time with his youngest son – time that had _not_ been tainted by anger and bitterness, and gotten to know who the boy was deep down inside – the person he tried so hard to hide from everyone.

And on top of that, he thought once more with satisfaction as his muscles coiled and tightened beneath his skin, he'd gotten to take his true form and unleash his devastatingly potent strength on an opponent, once more proving his status as Alpha.

Life was good, he decided, and he was damn glad he'd been given a second chance at it as he once more looked at his beautiful and spirited female as she slowed her pace ahead of them, calming down a little more as Sango soothed her irritation.

Yes... life was definitely good – even if it was noisy, he thought wryly as Inuyasha continued ranting about the 'bastard with an icicle up his ass' that was always harassing him.

_Well... I have to admit, Sesshoumaru does act like he's got ice in his... veins... _

He chuckled inwardly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn, this chapter was hard. I almost stopped it just as I got to the fight part and totally erased it and started over. For some reason, I just didn't like it. I'm still not sure if I do, or not. But it's written, and I'm not going to go back and redo it. I still have another chapter of SR that I want to get written – a nice twist that's about to happen in that story is ready to be gotten down and I want to do it while it's still fresh in my mind how I want it to go. 
> 
> So I guess you guys will all have to take this chapter as it is – and no, just to be clear, the dog wasn't really Cerberus – it was just a youkai that Naraku took and twisted up as a mockery of Sesshoumaru's inuyoukai blood. He figured once the curse killed Sango, Miroku, Kohaku and Kirara off, this twisted dog could take on Sesshoumaru. He wanted to kill off all those who'd opposed him. Remember, in an earlier chapter I already wrote how he figured that Kagome would be broken and vulnerable because of Inuyasha abandoning her to go to hell with Kikyou so she wouldn't last long, so he figured the rest of them were the only ones left and he didn't want them to have happy lives. He wasn't, of course, expecting the interference of the kami in bringing not only Inupapa back to life, but returning Inuyasha, as well.
> 
> Too bad, so sad for Naraku.
> 
> Amber


	15. Chapter 15

Kagome had been thrilled when she'd found out that Mattaki had offered Sango, Miroku, Kirara, and Kohaku a place to stay for the winter, and soon had the taijiya convinced that it was a great idea. Especially as their only other option was to crowd poor Kaede practically out of her home again. With the size of Mattaki's estate, there really was no reason to put the elderly woman out so much as to take four beings for an entire winter into her one room hut when the daiyoukai had entire wings that were empty and unused.

But with that offer came a new need – more food. They would need a lot more meat laid in for the winter months when game would be scarce. His servants already had a good amount of dried vegetables and fruits stored, but the meat requirements of four people versus eight were quite different – especially when several of them were predatory youkai and that was practically all they ate.

Their travels were taking them through some very good game areas, and so the males all took the early morning hours before they started their journey and went hunting, bringing down as much game as they could and then cleaning it, before bringing it back to camp and wrapping it up in the hides for transport. They hurried the trip home so that the meat would not spoil, arriving back at Mattaki's castle in just under two days with the meat of two full hunts and turned it over to the cooks to smoke for the coming winter. It was quickly decided between the males that they would spend the last couple of weeks before winter truly set in going out every other day or so to hunt some more – that way they would be sure to have plenty, and be in no danger of running out.

In fact, this would give them enough to take some to Kaede as well, in that way helping keep little Rin in plenty, too. A growing child like she was would need a lot of protein to keep her healthy and strong as Kagome explained to the interested company, and while Kaede had a good sized garden and plenty of dried vegetables and even rice, she would not have much in the way of meat, since she couldn't really hunt for herself too well, and the villagers could only spare so much of their own food for her.

It was as they finally arrived back at the inuyoukai's estate that Sango and Kohaku were clued in on Mattaki and Kagome's changed relationship; they had both been asleep when Miroku had found out, and due to circumstances, nothing had truly been mentioned since, nor had they really had much time to be overtly cuddling and affectionate. 

The slayer's expression was highly comical as she took in the fact that her best friend was being courted by _Inuyasha's father._

“Kagome?” she asked, sounding hesitant and surprised, uncertain what to make of the easy kiss that she'd caught.

Mind on other things, Kagome could only blink at her before turning to meet Mattaki's gaze as he called her name in a mirror of Sango's call; his voice was uncertain, however, and that completely wiped the taijiya's obvious question from her mind.

“What is it, Mattaki?” she asked, brow furrowed – she didn't like that hesitant sound from one who was usually so confident.

Flicking a glance around the group as they all looked at him, he sighed, then said, “Are you still determined to sleep in that room that you moved into during Satori's visit?” _Cursed_ _visit,_ he thought to himself. _Definitely a_ _cursed_ _visit..._

She blinked; she hadn't expected that question _at all._ Not having even thought about that subject, she frowned, her eyes falling to the ground to stare at some of the autumn leaves laying like a colorful throw-rug across the grass.

“I... hadn't really thought about it, but...” she started, breaking off in surprise when he spoke again, almost urgently.

“Would you be amenable to returning to the one I originally gave you?” he asked. “Please? I had hoped that we could move forward after all of this, at least somewhat... is it really still too soon for you to move even this much closer?”

 _I don't want to stay the way we have been, either. Things have changed between us, and I... I am ready for more. _Her lips tightened determinedly. _Yes, I'm ready to move rooms._

Not paying the slightest bit of attention to the confused looks from Sango and her brother, or the knowing ones from Inuyasha and Miroku, she started to speak, though she paused in surprise at the look on Mattaki's face – one of disappointment and frustration – before motioning the others into the house, determined to clear up his obviously mistaken thoughts on what she was about to say, and wanting to do so with _some_ privacy, at least.

 _She looks angry... am I really pushing her too hard?_ he wondered, his thoughts and instincts agitated. _It has been so long already, and we have both admitted our feelings... though,_ he sighed in frustration, _she really wasn't ready to admit hers, she was forced to by circumstances, I know._

He was startled out of his upset thoughts by gentle hands clasping his face; surprised, he blinked and focused once more only to find the beautiful face of his female in front of him and smiling prettily, though with a deep blush. He was _also_ surprised to find the courtyard now empty.

“Mattaki,” she said, obviously not for the first time if the slight frustration in her voice was anything to go on, “ _listen_ to me. I'm ready. I will move rooms, okay? I'll speak to the servants as soon as we go inside. As long as you're _sure_ that I'm what you want...”

“You have to ask me that yet again? _Of course_ I'm sure, though I'd rather you were moving into my room,” he whispered heatedly. “But at least you'll be closer to me once again, and that's better than nothing.”

Kagome flushed, but smiled at him. “O-okay,” she returned shakily.

A wide smile breaking out on his face, Mattaki bent and pressed eager lips to hers as he slipped his arms around her and pulled her into him. She came willingly, and with an inarticulate murmur against his lips, she opened hers, inviting him inside; he took every advantage of that offer, slipping in and drinking deeply of her sweet mouth. It was achingly slow, hot, and indolent, and it had Kagome ready to beg; with a small whimper, she did just that, and Mattaki growled back, a deep, vibrating growl of pleasure and encouragement that only heightened the heat of their kiss.

Breaking apart only when he could tell she needed to breathe, he curled his tongue along the roof of her mouth as he drew back, leaving his little female shuddering in his arms with dazed eyes and heated cheeks that only made his own blood boil even more for her. _Gods_ , he wanted her so badly; he could only hope that she would not be in that room for long, and that he would be able to convince her soon to move into _his_ room – permanently.

With a sigh, he pulled away enough to look down at her. “Thank you, my love – I am so glad that you've agreed. I want you so much, to bind myself to you forever, and I don't know how much longer I can stand to wait. But for you I will try... and this will make it a little easier to do so, knowing that you've moved closer to me. That I've made some headway.”

Feeling distinctly guilty as she listened to his voice, hearing the strain in it quite clearly, Kagome nodded and pulled away; grabbing his hand, she tugged him into the building, her thoughts all a'whirl as he led her off to gather some clean clothing so she could relax and bathe before the evening meal.

_I've really made this so hard on him..._

_Harder than it had to be. So, I'm scared. I'm a virgin, that's normal. But I've been letting my fear control me,_ she realized suddenly, _letting it dictate my life – and his. That stops tonight,_ she thought firmly as she watched Mattaki slide the door to the bathing room shut and go off to do his own things with a jaunty wave. His smile, his absolute happiness at the thought that she would be back in the rooms meant for his mate-to-be was tangible, and precious to her for all that. She didn't want him to lose that happiness, that sense of moving forward in their relationship. And she certainly didn't want their _relationship_ to stagnate, which was what she had really been allowing to happen with her fear of the intimacy between two people.

 _Yes, it's a big step,_ she sighed as she stepped down into the hot water and settled onto the natural stone lip around its edges, _to give myself, my body over to another. Forever. And I'm still scared... but I've never let my fear control me before, and I can't let it now. I have to move forward. I have to._

Bolstering her courage with thoughts of relationships that had gone wrong because of those very fears – her friend Ayumi coming to mind with _her_ failed relationship with her boyfriend because she'd been too afraid to move past a rather juvenile definition of the relationship – she knew that she could not allow that sort of thing to happen between her and the daiyoukai she loved. 

She looked down ruefully as her nipples hardened at thoughts of Mattaki and the things he'd done to her in the baths that time as she washed herself, the soap almost feeling erotic on her body – she felt so voluptuous running her hands over her own flesh while naughty thoughts of him ran through her mind. She certainly couldn't deny that her body wanted his – that _she_ wanted him... what female with eyes could turn him away? And that was the bottom line – if _she_ did because of her virginal fright, and her – rather tedious, even she could admit it – embarrassment, then she would hate herself forever for losing him to another female. Because that was a more than certain fact – he wouldn't be alone for long, some woman somewhere would definitely snap him up, and she, Kagome, would be out in the cold, watching miserably as he found happiness with someone else. Watching in _permanent_ misery, since forever was a very, very long time, and she'd be forced to watch all of it.

No. Not an option. So... all that was left was to reach out and grab the happiness that kami had dropped in her lap, and was – so far – waiting with bated breath for her to accept him.

Inhaling deeply and holding it for a second, Kagome dunked herself under the water one last time to rinse herself fully, and then, determination shining in darkened eyes, she stood and grabbed a towel, drying off quickly and then dressing even more quickly. She had a lot to do before dinner, and, glancing out an open window as she headed for her old rooms to get started at the lowering sun, not much time to do it in. Dinner would be in less than a candlemark.

 _I hope you like this surprise, Mattaki,_ she thought nervously to herself as she dismissed the woman he'd assigned as her maid – though _she_ seemed to think her Lord would, the wide smile on her face giving that fact away only too well.

 _If not, I'm going to look like a huge fool._ She shook her head at herself. _No... he won't turn me away. He made it quite clear what he really wanted earlier, but that he would take what he could get with me simply moving back into those rooms._

 _When he finds out that I've not moved into those rooms, but his, he'll be ecstatic. _ Nonetheless, she unobtrusively crossed her fingers as she spoke to her maid, needing all the luck she could get.

 _Come to think of it..._ She crossed her toes, too, and then giggled inwardly at her childish gesture. 

But she didn't uncross them...

~oOo~

Dinner that evening was definitely an ordeal for the nervous Kagome, at least, to begin with. Anticipation was running high inside her for the outcome of the surprise she'd arranged for Mattaki – and if things went as she'd anticipated, she'd be a mated female within hours.

It was a big step, and Sango's prodding wasn't helping matters. Kagome knew she meant well, but...

“So... what brought this on, Kagome?” she asked, glancing between Mattaki and her friend, rather glad that Miroku and Inuyasha were keeping the daiyoukai's attention away from their conversation. She lowered her voice and continued. “Last I knew, you were in love with Inuyasha and grieving over him. Not that I haven't hoped you'd move on from him, since it was a dead-end love for you, but... it just seems... I don't know, too soon for you to have changed your heart so completely.”

Frustration beginning to well up within her at the questions and sideways comments she'd been making since the meal had started and the males' conversation had distracted them, Kagome gritted her teeth and clamped down on her temper. “Sango, what is your problem? You haven't stopped picking at it since we sat down for dinner! If you really _must_ know,” she said sarcastically, “I realized some time ago that I wasn't really in love with Inuyasha. Hell, my _mother_ knew I wasn't from the _beginning_ – she knew it was just a first crush, not real love, and told me so quite pointedly. It took me a while to catch up with her wisdom,” she told the surprised taijiya bluntly, “but I finally got it through my thick skull that she was right. Not that I don't love the pigheaded jerk, but I'm not _in_ love with him. And yes, I grieved, but if you hadn't noticed, he's no longer dead, so continuing to do so would kind of be rather stupid, don't you think?”

Catching on to the fact that her best friend was getting aggravated with her, Sango said placatingly, “Look, Kagome, I'm not trying to... to keep you from doing something you really want. But... I just want to make sure you're not throwing yourself into this for the wrong reasons. Especially as he's youkai,” she almost whispered, trying to keep their conversation as quiet as possible, “and if you allow him to mate you, that's unbreakable – and forever. It's a big decision,” she finished, echoing Kagome's earlier thoughts almost perfectly.

Kagome's eyes softened on her friend, and her irritation faded. _She's just worried for me because she cares..._ “I know, Sango. And I've thought this over for a long time. It hasn't really been all that sudden – Mattaki let me know what he wanted not all that long after we left you all in the village and began traveling together. It's been months now. I know how I feel, and I know how he feels. I'm ready. And truthfully, Sango, we're already bound together forever, ne? Really, all this will do in the end is formalize the whole thing.”

Sango couldn't deny the truth of that; she studied Kagome for a few minutes to make absolutely sure, and then she sighed, and smiled. “Okay. As long as you're sure, then I'm happy for you.” She glanced quickly through her bangs at the hanyou across the table that was talking, explaining to his father their run-in with Hyoga's son and heir, Menomaru. “How... how did Inuyasha take it?” she asked. She was as aware as everyone else that Inuyasha had never loved Kagome in that manner, but equally aware that he had been selfishly determined to keep her heart focused on himself. Her brow furrowed as Kagome started chuckling.

“That... was actually quite... unexpected – and funny,” she managed to get out around the giggles the chuckle had degenerated into. “Mattaki and I were both not looking forward to him figuring it out – we'd expected some huge tantrum,” she admitted. “But what we actually got... well, you know Inuyasha can be dense sometimes. He didn't figure it out until this trip, actually. Just a few days ago. And we basically had to smack him over the head with it.” She went on to explain to her now intrigued friend the circumstances, inciting laughter in her, as well. 

Setting her chopsticks to the side, Sango shook her head, amusement dancing in her eyes. “Oh, I could just see the whole thing as if I'd been there. That move has you written all over it – poor Mattaki-sama. You probably frightened the life out of him. I wish I'd been able to actually see Inuyasha's face, though. I really, really do.”

Neither had noticed that their conversation had attracted the guy's attentions until a sour, “Keh,” interrupted their giggles, and both women turned to see a typical grumpy expression on the hanyou's face. “It wasn't that funny,” he said dourly, eyeing his friends with narrowed eyes.

“Oh, yes it was, Inuyasha,” Shippo chirped, his own laughter inciting Mattaki's. “You're face was the funniest I've ever seen it. I think I'm gonna draw that – I still have some of those colored waxes that you gave me, mama. I'm careful with them and only use them on really good things – and that was one of the _best!”_

“I would love to see it when you are done, Shippo,” Sango chuckled as Kagome added her agreement, watching their hanyou friend feign an irritation they could all tell he didn't really feel. The mood for the rest of the meal was lighthearted after that, and Kagome couldn't have been more grateful for that fact – it kept her nervousness from developing into a full-blown panic attack.

A little later on, after they had all adjourned to a small sitting room and had a bit of relaxing sake – which Kagome was quite happy to accept – and a nice spot of easy conversation, Sango yawned heavily, and with a smile, Miroku excused them for the night. Kohaku and Kirara followed, along with Shippo, leaving Inuyasha alone with his father and an oddly fidgety Kagome.

The hanyou eyed her, and then his father with a questioning glance, but Mattaki merely shrugged, just as mystified as his son at her behavior. But Inuyasha had been around her long enough to know that she wanted to talk to his father alone, and feeling oddly nostalgic as he watched her interact with his sire – and at the obvious feelings she held for him in her eyes - he excused himself as well, taking some of the sake with him. He was going to need it, as he could feel a full-blown night of reliving his memories coming on, and most of them weren't happy. Sake might help dull that fact down enough to keep him from crying into his wine.

Kagome watched her friend quit the room with that look in his eyes and the sake in his hands, and sighed sadly. She'd tried so hard to heal him, hoped for so long to be the one to be able to do so, but it wasn't meant to be. At least now, though, the past was truly dead and gone and could no longer hold the present as its hostage... meaning that he could actually move on and _live._ And sooner or later, she knew, he'd find the female that would help him and heal him in a way she'd never been able to.

With one last sigh as the hanyou disappeared down the pillar-lined hall, her attention was drawn by the only other person left, and her nervousness spiked; it was time to face her own future – she couldn't put it off any longer. 

“Kagome?” 

She turned to face him as he called her name softly and questioningly, forcing herself to meet his concerned gaze. “Yes?”

“Is... is something wrong?” he asked, brow furrowing. “You've been nervous since we got home. Have you-” his face dropped, “-changed your mind about moving ba-”

“No,” she said firmly, cutting him off before he could really begin to work himself up on that score. “I haven't changed my mind,” she reassured him softly, scooting closer to him, she laid her head against his arm and sighed, deeply, contentedly – though still with that nervousness that had been riling him all night, despite his attempts to ignore it and enjoy the time spent speaking to his son and the monk.

“Then what is making you so nervous in my company, Kagome? Have I done something to offend or upset you in some way?”

It was silent for a moment, and then Kagome shifted; scooting around to face him, she took his hand and stared at it while gathering her courage, then looked up at him, a blush washing across her cheeks and down her chest, had he but known it. 

“I... earlier, when we first got back,” she began softly, earnestly, “and you said that about wishing that I was moving into your room, but that you would take what you could get and be happy for any advancement in our relationship, I... I could see that this has really strained you. You've had a hard time holding back your instincts, haven't you?” she asked, holding up a hand and shaking her head as he tried to deny her words. “No, don't try to lie about it, I know you're just trying to make me feel better. Your instincts... they would have already had us-” she blushed even deeper and her eyes flickered to her lap, “-mated a long time ago, wouldn't they?”

Mattaki inhaled, then let it all out in a deep exhale that was more than a sigh. Gathering his thoughts, he said, “Yes. Youkai are different in how we do things. I know this, and I knew that our courtship would be different than it would have been were you youkai. I knew... that it would be harder in some ways. But I was willing to go through with it – I still am. So don't feel guilty for this – you are human, and this is a human thing. I cannot regret it, because I cannot regret what you are. I _love_ who you are, and that is a human female named Kagome.”

Tears spilled over as she took in his words; her gaze lifted to his helplessly and she stared into his eyes deeply, almost physically feeling the warmth and love he was wrapping her in.

Gathering every bit of courage she had within her, she nodded. “I appreciate that you've given me the time I needed to figure my heart out. But it's time I no longer need,” she whispered gently, smiling a little at the frozen, disbelieving look dawning on his face. “Earlier... I didn't have the servants move my things into the rooms meant for your mate-to-be... I was a bit presumptuous, I guess, but I... I had them move my things into your room. If you want me, I'm yours. I'm scared, but I'm ready,” she managed to get out before her voice failed her completely. 

Her hands were shaking, she was shaking, and Mattaki was fully aware of it, though it was a rather distant realization. All he could hear through the buzzing in his ears was her soft voice saying, _“I'm ready. I'm scared, but I'm ready.”_

After it was silent for several seconds, Kagome began to get very worried. _Had_ she presumed too much? But... he'd said he would prefer her to be moving into his rooms, so that couldn't be it. Was he perhaps stunned, instead? So shocked that she'd finally said it, that he was unable to take it all in?

“M-Mattaki?” she finally managed to force out shakily, hoping and praying that it was just that very emotion, shock, that was keeping him silent, and nothing more. She didn't think she'd be able to take it if it were.

Her answer was a tug; startled, she fell forward and was immediately pulled into the most intense kiss she'd ever been subjected to by an almost feral inuyoukai.

Hot, wet, urgent and a little uncontrolled, like he didn't know how to stop, the daiyoukai curled his tongue around hers and licked the roof of her mouth, intent on taking all of her sweetness for himself in those first moments after she'd finally given herself over into his arms – into his care. _“Mine,”_ he moaned against her lips, “you are mine, all mine,” before slipping his tongue back into her mouth for a second kiss.

This one was completely different than the first. Slow, languid, like he had all the time in the world to devote to just tasting her, Mattaki explored every inch of her mouth, moaning in encouragement as she followed him back into his mouth and began to explore him in the same sensuous way. But when _her_ tongue wrapped around his fangs and she let out a little whimper, the daiyoukai growled, an impossibly deep, rumbling sound that had her entire body instantly electrified – she felt more alive in that one moment than she _ever_ had. And still he kissed her, stealing her breath, her mind, her very soul through their connection; she didn't demur in any way when Mattaki abruptly stood and began to make his way through the halls of the palace towards _their_ rooms. He didn't stop kissing her even then, and she barely noticed the trip around the seduction he was subjecting her to – and all with only his lips and tongue.

He didn't draw back until they were in the room, and then as he let her down onto her feet and slid the door shut, he couldn't help but to look around in curiosity and excitement as he took in the differences. There was another low tansu, for her clothes, he noted, along one wall, and a little table for her feminine items – hair ornaments and small pots of lip color, her brush and an ivory comb he'd gifted to her, along with one smaller-sized wardrobe to hold the several more elaborate kimono he'd also given her.

That was all the changes there were, but to the awestruck daiyoukai it was more than enough, and he turned to look at her as she stood in their rooms for the first time and terribly nervous, to boot, and smiled, nothing but happiness on his face – to the relief of the young woman who had been so uncertain of his reaction.

“Did you really worry about what I'd say?” he murmured as he once more took her into his arms. “I cannot say it often enough – I love you, and I want you. I want to be bonded to you.” He frowned then, as he looked down at her, suddenly uncertain himself. “You _do_ know that if you stay in this room, I will take you as my mate? Because if you are not ready for the whole thing, then it would be best for you to move back next door. I won't go only halfway. I will not take you, and yet leave you unmated, Kagome, do you understand? It's all or nothing.”

For some reason, his words seemed to tickle her funnybone, because she broke out in laughter, leaving him even more uncertain as he looked down at her with a deepening frown.

“What is so funny about this subject?” he demanded, beginning to get a bit irate. 

“I-I'm s-sorry, Mattaki!” she gasped out as she stumbled back away from him a little. “I'm not l-laughing at you, I'm laughing at _us_ ,” she giggled, her eyes sparking with mirth as she peered up at him, her own nerves gone as amusement took its place. “Listen to us both! Me worried and doubting myself _and_ your words, and you doing the same, doubting my understanding and intentions! At this rate, we'll be lucky if we _ever_ get past this habit we both seem to have of misjudging each others intentions.”

He had to admit as he chuckled along with her that she was correct. They'd done quite a bit of that, waffling back and forth in misunderstanding – but it was time to get past that, as amusing as the whole thing was when looked at in hindsight.

“I take it from your words then, that you know that I will mate you should you choose to stay in this room, and that you telling me you were ready, meant that you were ready to become my mate,” he grinned, waggling his brows lecherously.

She giggled again, but more importantly, she nodded, and suddenly, the air of amusement was gone as if it had never been as something older, heavier, more primal took its place, instead.

“Kagome,” Mattaki crooned, and a shiver traced down her spine.

“Y-yes?” 

“Come to me, my love. Give yourself over to me, now.”

“Yes,” she sighed as she obeyed, and no more was heard from the room for some time, except sighs and murmurs and moans and cries of pleasure – a beautiful symphony of tones that were as old as the earth and just as potent.

To the two kami watching over them, it was about time, as Toyouke* turned to Omoikane* and smiled knowingly. 

“Finally, she settles into her destiny. He will watch over her with a glad heart, and so we need have no further fear for her happiness.”

Omoikane simply smiled.

_Yes, she is safe, and protected, and most important of all..._

_She is loved._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Toyouke-goddess of clothing, housing, and food.
> 
> Omoikane-god of wisdom and knowledge.


	16. Chapter 16

“Come to me, my love. Give yourself over to me.”

Kagome froze for several seconds when he said that, his hand held out to her. This was it – if she went to him and put her hand in his, she was giving herself to him... forever. _Am I really ready for this?_ she thought once more, an almost panicky feeling overtaking her.

But then she looked up from his hand into his eyes, and what she saw there... compassion, love, understanding, passion... only firmed her determination. Yes, she was ready to become a woman. She was ready to give herself to him. But she realized in that moment that just because she was ready and determined to do this, did not mean that there was no fear.

Because there was. And it was then that she realized that there would be, until she was his. Once she was no longer a virgin, once she knew what to expect, the fear would be gone.

With that understanding, she stepped forward and put her hand in his, and smiled shakily in return of his wide, happy smile.

“I will not hurt you, Kagome,” he whispered as he pulled her close, trying to soothe her shivering with his warmth as he held her, not really doing anything else at this point, just calming her.

She nodded against his chest. “I know. It's just... a fear of the unknown. I'll be okay,” she replied softly.

He tilted his head thoughtfully for a moment, and then used one finger to angle her chin up so he could look into her eyes. He studied her shadowed gaze for several seconds, and then his gaze lowered. He stared at her mouth with a growing intensity that only made her shiver more.

Kagome stiffened as he lowered his head further to touch her lips, but the moment his mouth met her own, she moaned and went limp against him, opening immediately to his searching tongue.

If she hadn't been being held up by Mattaki already, she would have fallen flat on her face, because the kiss she was getting was completely sinful. And like the smoothest chocolate, it was addictive. As his tongue slid against hers, she moaned again at the sweetness of it, and he responded by deepening the kiss. 

Within moments her fear was gone, pushed to the back of her mind by what he was doing to her. It was unlike anything she'd ever experienced, though admittedly, her experiences were quite limited.

Withdrawing just a bit to let her breath, he captured her bottom lip between his teeth and tugged at it, rubbing it with his tongue and teeth before releasing it in a highly sensitized and swollen state. Her heartbeat quickened into a full-blown gallop when he repeated his actions, and by the time he'd done the same to her top lip, she felt as if she were on fire.

A soft groan escaped her throat when the tenor of his kisses changed again, one hand sweeping up her back and into her hair as he took full possession of her lips once more, sending his tongue stabbing deep into her mouth and curling against her own tongue with delicious eroticism. The other hand moved down, slowly untying the obi holding her pretty kimono closed while she was distracted.

For minutes on end he kissed her, unhurriedly, not making any further moves to deepen the intimacy after her obi fell away, simply letting her kimono and yukata fall open on their own. That fact allowed her to let go of the last of her fear as it was replaced by a yearning desire to know more – to know Mattaki as a male – to know him in a way she had never known another. A way she would _never_ know another.

Finally, quite a while after he'd first tugged her into his embrace, Mattaki swept her up into his arms and strode over to his futon, laying her down gently after letting her clothes fall to the floor. He brushed his fingers through her bangs, an adoring expression on his face as she blushed, before moving over her to lay on the other side of her, his head held up on an elbow as he gazed down at her. She was completely held by his expression, unable to look away from the need in his eyes despite her embarrassment at being naked save for her panties – need which she knew was mirrored by her own expression.

She could feel her body responding to the look in his eyes, her breasts tightening painfully – so painfully that she lifted bewildered hands to them to feel the nipples tight and furled against her palms. She looked down, confused, only to have her gaze almost yanked back up to Mattaki at his agonized voice saying, “Don't,” and his own hand coming up suddenly to grab both her wrists and pull them up and over her head. 

She was stunned to see the desperation in his eyes as he fought for control, especially when his action of pulling her wrists over her head had the effect of forcing her breasts higher, the nipples right before his eyes and practically begging to be touched and tasted.

“I want you so badly, itoshii, that I can barely keep from throwing all caution to the wind and simply taking you,” he groaned painfully. “However, this is your first time, and I will _not_ hurt you. But please,” his eyes fell closed as he fought himself, “if you have any pity for me, do not do such things, for it weakens my control. For this first time, just relax, and allow me to pleasure you.”

She was unable to do anything more than nod in agreement, not wanting to see him in pain as he so obviously was at that moment in time. A slight whimpering sound escaped her as she did, causing his eyes to pop open again. She was trapped in the molten gold the moment they did, and she watched, fascinated, as a small amount of crimson leached into them at her capitulation.

“Good girl,” he rumbled, pleased as she submitted to him without argument. 

He held her gaze for several long seconds, and then, just when she was about to whimper again, her body so sensitive and practically in pain from her need, he lowered his head and took a tiny, furled nipple between his lips, nibbling on it as she cried out, then sucking on it as her voice, beginning to beg, echoed in his ears.

Kagome was oblivious to everything but the dark excitement possessing her as she was propelled from one mind-blowing experience to the next as Mattaki practically devoured her; never in her life had she experienced such sweet torment.

Mattaki's hands had by now joined in the fray, one hand moving up to caress the other breast, the other stroking over her tensed belly and around to explore the tantalizing curve of her waist, hip, and thigh as he slipped her panties down, slowly caressing them off of her body. And for endless more minutes after they were off he explored, yet never allowing his hands to move to the one place that was by now weeping with its need for his attention. 

Squirming beneath his torturous caresses, Kagome actually whined as more heat surged into that shadowed place between her thighs, a wet feeling following behind. She clenched her thighs trying to soothe the painful ache that Mattaki seemed to be ignoring, and soon was pleading with him for some form of relief – he knew what she needed, though she did not, and she knew it.

“Please, Mattaki,” she finally cried, tears beginning to run down her cheeks as she twisted into his hands, trying to get them to move to where she so desperately needed them to be.

Mind already fragmented by that scent that was calling to him and spinning fire through his very blood, Mattaki growled, a guttural sound that only stoked Kagome's passions higher, and gave in, one hand sliding down her taut belly to slip through the tiny patch of curls that rested just above her womanhood. She gasped with delight as his calloused finger found her pearl and slid across it, a keening sound issuing from her at the shocking surge of pleasure that one little touch sent through her entire body, and she arched into his touch, needing more – much more.

The daiyoukai moved down her body, all too ready to give her that more she needed. The beautiful whimpering sound she gave off as he deserted her breasts entirely and settled himself between her legs only made him even needier for her, and when he responded by putting his mouth where his finger had just been, Kagome went wild, bucking up into him and gasping in shocked delight.

It was like nothing she'd ever experienced, and not even anything she'd ever heard back in her era about this act could have ever prepared her for having it done to her. As his lips closed over that tiny, sensitive bead, her lungs collapsed and she went limp, unable to draw a breath or even move as every muscle in her body froze and white light burst into her mind, leaving her totally unable to even think.

She could feel every little twitch, every move he made against her sex with his eager tongue, and it was most definitely eager – Mattaki made no effort to hide his enjoyment of what he was doing, growling, panting, and even purring as he first flicked the tip of his tongue over her pearl, and then sucked it softly into his mouth. 

Her untutored, unpracticed reactions to what he was doing were enough to fry his mind, her obvious enjoyment feeding his own until he couldn't tell where her enjoyment ended and his own began. And that was what told him that he was doing it right, because that was exactly how it should be. She just tasted so good, though, that all he wanted to do was concentrate on _her_ pleasure. 

Her scent had always pleased him, teasing him with how much stronger and more tantalizing it would be if she were in the throes of passion, and now that she was, he could barely hold himself back from just devouring her. Already the room resounded with the sounds of his own pleasure as they overpowered hers, growls, snarls, and the almost bestial sounds of him feasting upon her all-too-willing body. He relished in her, and it was only enticing her own pleasure as she became more certain that he was enjoying himself. His pleasure made her able to accept her own without question.

Becoming frantic at the tightening of her body and needing release, Kagome thrashed her head from side to side and called to her lover, begging him to send her over the edge; the coil was already so tight within her that she almost felt as if she were about to break as one wicked hand made its way back up her body to her breasts.

That was all it took; the moment he took one between his fingers and rolled the tip harshly, his mouth doing the same thing to her pearl, she exploded, crying out his name in shock as she was abruptly picked up and tossed over the edge into her very first orgasm. On and on it went, the pleasure rolling through her like waves as he gentled her just a little, letting go her breast and letting up on the intensity he had been using his tongue with. She slumped as she finally began to come back down from the heights, sobbing weakly as her mind tried to cope with the surfeit of pleasure he'd given her.

But Mattaki didn't stop there.

Kagome lost count of the amount of times he made her come, one instance blending in to another as he just continued devouring her. Hazy eyes staring blankly at the ceiling, she shuddered as he flicked her pearl again, and then keened as a finger began to slowly push its way inside her heretofore untouched channel, the feeling stunning, yet so pleasurable she could do little more than beg for him to give her more.

“Oh, more,” she gasped, “please more.” 

And Mattaki responded, adding another finger and using a slow, smooth rhythm that soon had her untutored body undulating in counterpoint; to the inuyoukai that was watching her with bleeding eyes even as he fed off of her slowly awakening body, it just proved that she was a sensual creature and that once taught the ways of pleasure, she would be an entrancing lover. He soon had another finger moving inside her as he tried to stretch her immense tightness just a little, his own mind shorting out even more as her body once more began winding up to orgasm. His cock gave a throb and sent pain stabbing through his body as he felt her tighten impossibly around his fingers and his eyes widened at just how strong those muscles were – he'd never felt anything so tight in all his life, and the very thought of being inside her actually made him whine in sheer bliss.

He stilled his fingers and leaned back as he waited for her to come down once more from the heights, and once she began to relax, he withdrew his fingers, sensually licking them clean as she stared at him through eyes dazed and hazy with pleasure. Once finished, he slowly made his way back up her body, licking and kissing every inch of precious skin, even as he told her how much he loved her and needed her. Her shapely body was completely mapped by hands that cherished and adored every inch, and by the time he reached her lips once more, she was crying weakly, feeling more loved than she had ever thought possible until this very moment.

“Why do you cry, beloved?” he whispered into her ear before nipping the sensitive lobe.

“I don't deserve you,” she answered back, her voice bare and open to him; he moved from her ear to her cheek and began lovingly licking her tears away as her arms came up to wrap around his neck, “but I love you _so._ I cannot help it.”

“Yes, you do. You deserve every bit of love I have to give, and more,” he replied fiercely, even as his heart melted at her declaration. “Never doubt that.” Before she could answer him, he bent to kiss her again, coaxing her mouth to open to him with sweet sucking kisses and nips to her full, already bruised lower lip.

Slowly, oh, so slowly, then, he made love to her mouth, leaving no part of her untouched as his tongue plumbed her depths. Hot, indolent, and exotic, it was nothing like any of the other kisses he'd given her before, and she crumbled before it, completely unable to do anything but let him have his way. She was so taken with his kiss that it came as a shock when he began to forge his way inside her, and truthfully, she didn't even notice until he was bumping what was left of her maidenhead, stretching it uncomfortably.

Mattaki's mind was on fire. There was simply no other way to describe it. As he began pushing his way inside her body, flames licked through his veins and ate at his control. Mind-numbingly tight, she was, just as he'd known she'd be from the way she'd curled and tightened around his fingers; suddenly, he couldn't breathe and had to pull away from the kiss that had been distracting her as he bumped into her barrier, little sparks of lust and need skipping along every nerve in his body.

He paused and looked down at her, his eyes heavy-lidded and impossibly seductive, had he but known it. “Are you ready, Kagome?” he asked huskily; he cleared his throat as he waited for her answer.

She knew what he was asking – he was giving her one last chance to pull away, to deny him, but she didn't want it and she tugged on him, her fingers digging into his biceps, that little touch of pain adding to the already overwhelming pleasure and making him growl in response.

“Yes, I'm ready, Mattaki! Please, just do it!” she almost howled, unable to wait any longer, to stand the empty feeling inside anymore. 

And with a strong downward roll of his hips, he did, taking her virginity and her soul in the same moment as her body opened up fully beneath him and engulfed his sex, leaving him without breath as she clenched so tightly around him that he was left unable to tell where she ended and he began.

Red light ignited in his eyes as he slid within her, his skin tight and itching with need as she mewled below him and tilted her hips into his, though he could tell she was in pain, she didn't seem to care, only wanting him within her as far as he could go. He obliged, being completely incapable of doing anything else, though he made sure that she was quickly distracted from any pain by leaning down and once more taking a sweet nipple into his mouth and suckling as though he were a pup.

“M-Mattaki,” she moaned deeply, her fingers clenching tighter still into his flesh; she arched up into him as he finally came to her end and his hips were pressed tightly to hers. Unable to stop moving, she rotated her own hips, slowly and with a sultry keen, and the inuyoukai sheathed so tightly within her actually yelped as she tightened her inner muscles even more as she did so.

Kagome savored the luscious sensation of him pulling against her interior muscles and repeated the action; she was fascinated at his response as crimson eyes actually began to glow. She could see his bestial side in his eyes as his more primal side took over and rolled his hips into her again, enjoying the look on her face as he slid slickly through her softly swollen interior, kissing the mouth of her womb with ease as he bottomed out within her.

And to the tune of her breathless cries and pleas, he took her, every slow, hot thrust designed to make her more desperate, to make her want him more, until he was all she would be able to see, all she would ever be able to want. The beast demanded that she acknowledge who she belonged to aloud, and without even missing a beat, he slid back onto his haunches, pulling her along with him until she was suspended between his thighs and he was able to slide her along his swollen length at will.

That action completely stole her ability to think, which was just what he wanted.

“Who do you belong to, Kagome?” he snarled, just as taken as she was and not even trying to hide it. 

Kagome barely heard him with the roaring in her ears; she was once more approaching orgasm, and words made little sense to her in that state. But Mattaki was insistent, and he pulled back and then stilled even as she tried to buck and take more of him in again; he held back, determined to make her answer his need.

“Answer me!” he barked. “Who do you belong to?” There was a peculiar intensity to his voice that finally broke through her pleasure seeking haze, and she met his red-eyed stare head on.

“I'm yours, Mattaki!” she cried, squirming restlessly beneath him, desperate for movement; with a snarl that vibrated the entire room, he thrust forwards once more, burying himself inside her viciously as she yelled out a demand for more.

Completely unable to deny her or himself, Mattaki pulled out of her, the beast grinning with pleasure as she whimpered in denial, then he gently turned her over and settled her onto her hands and knees before blanketing her with his own body as he mounted her fully.

He reached back with one hand and grasped her hip, and then gently latched onto her shoulder with his fangs, almost purring as she egged him on, pressing back into him with panting moans as he gave her what they both wanted and slid back inside. It was an impossibly long, slow thrust that seemed to turn what was left of his mind to burning dust, and with a deep, feral growl, he began thrusting into her once more, this time using a great deal more force and speed as pleasure finally short-circuited his control and took over. He was seeking his own end now, driving her pleasure along with his, and from the delicate rippling of her sheath along his heated and painfully engorged length, he knew they would reach this last knife's edge together – just as it should be.

Knowing that his end was near, Mattaki sped up, his hips bucking urgently into his female's body in order to bring her over the edge with him; just as he felt her channel spasm and grasp onto him with almost tangible force, a stab of heat hit the base of his spine, his balls drew up, and then he came with a feral howl as his seed rushed through his shaft with almost painful jolts of unimaginable pleasure.

Kagome could feel every burst of his seed entering her body; his spend being several degrees warmer than her flesh, it was a pleasing heat inside her, and as her own vision went white, and then inverted, she joined his fierce howl with her own voice raised in elation, crying out his name in worshipful benediction. Their combined orgasms raged on for seemingly endless moments, both bodies taut and straining to grasp every last bit of the pleasure roiling through their systems, but finally, their strength died just as the pleasure did – slowly. Just as the last of Mattaki's seed entered her body, they both slumped forward, unable to hold themselves up in the aftermath of such a storm of pleasure.

Breathing hard after the most amazing orgasm he could ever remember having, Mattaki gathered his scattered mind and after a moment, still sweetly sheathed inside his new mate, he pulled himself together enough to roll over onto his side, taking her still limp form with him. He smiled as he felt another bit of his energy leave him and enter his little female's body, binding her to him even more as it fused inside her. From now until eternity, she would carry not only the scent of the mate to whom she belonged, but also a bit of his very youki, which would act to not only mark her as his, but protect her if he were absent for any reason and she were attacked. His power now dwelt within her, and if she _were_ ever attacked, it would react, immediately destroying the threat to what was his without remorse.

It was silent for a long time after that as Kagome lay there and just enjoyed the slowly forming bond between them. She could actually feel it; it was as though she were slowly becoming aware of him with _all_ her senses, including her sixth. She could feel _him;_ deep inside where the core of who she was existed, there was now a kernel of him, and it was the most soothing feeling in the world.

“I can feel you,” she whispered after a long while, smiling faintly as he flexed within her teasingly. “Not like that, you lecher.”

He sobered at that. “Yes. It's the mating bond. It will take a few days to fully develop. But from now until the gods decide to take pity on us and render us into the next world, we are tied together. Actually, even then, we will be tied together. There will never be another, for either of us.”

That thought was actually comforting, knowing that no matter what happened or where they went from here, they would always have each other. Unlike her family, she would never lose him. She wriggled her fingers into his and clenched his hand tightly.

“I'm glad. At least we will never be alone again,” she said softly. 

He shifted as he nuzzled affectionately into her neck, taking in their now combined scent, and Kagome squirmed and tightened around him as his movements made aftershocks zing through her; that tight grip brought something back to his attention.

“How is it that you are so strong inside, Kagome?” he asked, his voice tense as that grip began arousing him again. “Most females who are virgins are not as... developed in that area.”

Eyes narrowing with jealousy at thinking of him with other females, Kagome flexed again. “It's an exercise that's taught to women in my era. It's simple flexing and holding, then releasing. They're called Kegels.” She flushed; Mattaki could feel the heat from her body and looked down at her, fascinated – and curious - about her embarrassment. “We're taught that it increases the pleasure of... well, you know, _that._.. if a girl has strong muscles there. Not to mention it's supposed to make childbirth easier – your body has to strain less and you don't tire as much if your muscles are more developed.”

“Hn... is that so?” he asked, deliberately flexing his once again hardening length inside her, just to enjoy her response as she tightened and then released again. But he sobered as he took note of the jealousy his words about other females had caused. He was about to chastise her for it when the thought of her with other males made _him_ growl, the same feeling of hurt and jealousy she was currently feeling overtaking him. He sighed, then, for the first time regretting that he hadn't come untouched into their union, as well; though it was a conflicted feeling, as he couldn't really regret his sons – nor his time with Izayoi.

He had, after all, loved her, even if it wasn't a love that was quite as all-consuming as what he felt for his new mate.

Running his hand in a caressing manner up and down her arm and dropping small, tantalizing kisses across one soft cheek, he said, “The past is gone, Kagome, and will never come again. Do you really wish that I had spent all the centuries that I have lived alone, with no love for comfort at all?”

She stiffened at that. _Am I really so selfish that I wish he'd stayed alone all those years, just so I wouldn't feel... like a sop to him, because he lost the love of his life? Like I'm just someone to keep the lonely centuries at bay, because he can't have the one he really wants?_ She sighed, bitter truth making her shake her head. 

“No. And I'm sorry, you know, that you lost her. Izayoi, I mean. I... I'm not her, and I know that I can't fill the hole she left in your life,” she said, withdrawing from him emotionally as a sense of inadequacy and pain flared to life inside her, “but maybe I can at least make your life less lonely. It's better than nothing, ne?” she asked, her voice painfully tentative and clearly thick with unshed tears.

Mattaki cursed, suddenly on the verge of anger. “Why do you keep making yourself out to be so much less to me than you are? I have told you that my past with Izayoi would not keep me from accepting love again, and that I have indeed found that love in you. Do you truly trust me so little as to keep discounting my words?”

Kagome shrank within herself even more at his anger and shook her head. “No... I guess I just can't help but to feel guilty – if things had been different... you know, if she had had power of her own-”

“-then we still would have been separated by death,” he gritted tightly. “I do not regret _any_ of the past. Not meeting her or loving her, but also losing her. Because then I would have missed out on you, and that thought... it is unbearable. Everything that happened did so for a reason, and the loss I suffered then, of her, and even my own life, is acceptable and even welcomed when I look back, because it brought me to you – to this place I am right now. Never doubt what I feel for you, and never feel guilty for the path I had to take to find you. I do not, and truthfully, I have thanked kami repeatedly for their benevolence in sending me to my death, only to be awakened once more and tied to you. And if I had to lose Izayoi, and die again, and even again, I would go through it gladly as long as I knew that you would be waiting for me at the end of it all.”

Suddenly feeling even more guilty for letting her petty jealousies get the better of her and bringing up such things on this night, she nodded, sniffling, as she tried to push all such thoughts out of her mind. It wasn't like her to be so selfish – wanting to be the only one, like he was for her. 

“I'm sorry,” she whispered regretfully, subdued.

Finally pulling his still turgid and eager length from within her, he rolled her onto her back and looked down at her with serious, intense eyes. “Don't be, Kagome. I understand... the thought of you with another...” his eyes flashed red for a moment, “... it makes me just as jealous. You don't know how many times I've wanted to kill my own son just because you had loved him before – even if it was a love you mistook for the love between mates. You are not the only one to feel the bite of guilt - _I_ feel guilty that my past causes you pain. But there is nothing I can do about it, and little point in allowing the past to affect our future. Put it out of your mind, and concentrate on the here and now – in this moment, there is no past, no Izayoi, and even no Satori, there is only you and I, and that is the way it will remain for the rest of forever. You will have me for eternity, Kagome, as none of the others did.” He looked slightly uncomfortable for a moment, then finished, “I daresay if Izayoi were here, now, _she_ would be jealous that what we have is so much stronger than what was between her and I, and that _we_ have an unbreakable bond that will never end, as her and I did not. Not even death may separate us, as it did her and I. I suppose what I am saying is that jealousy is an emotion that never made anyone happy, and there's little point in it, because _all_ of us would have reason to feel its painful bite if we were to allow ourselves to wallow in it. Let it go, aisai.”

And just like that, Kagome felt badly for Izayoi, for in that moment, she knew he was right, and the former wife of her new mate would probably be hurt that when all was said and done, her bond with the male she'd loved had been so easily destroyed. If what Mattaki was saying was true, that he was actually glad for what had happened in the past because it allowed him to be with her, then Inuyasha's mother was probably saddened and hurt by that, too.

“I hope that someday she finds a bond that is just as strong,” she finally said, closing her eyes and saying a prayer for just that to the kami for the human princess that had loved Mattaki first. 

“And so do I – but I cannot regret that such a bond was not meant to be with me, because I do not regret you – I can't. I didn't know... when I was with her, that a stronger, deeper bond was even possible-” he reached out a loving finger to smooth the sad frown from between her brows, “-and now that I do, I could never give it up. I could never give _you_ up. The bottom line is this – I can happily let her go to move on in another life and find someone else to love her. I could not do the same with you – I would destroy anyone that tried to take you away from me, as I think I proved with that ignorant wolf,” he finished dryly, before lowering his head to kiss her.

He nibbled her lip, sucking on it and running his tongue along it as his hands began caressing her body again, before plunging inside to once more taste her sweetness. “ _Gods,_ Kagome... _I love you_. I want you so _much_ ,” he whispered intensely and almost desperately into her mouth as he tugged on her swollen and sensitive lower lip before plunging inside her willing mouth again. He pressed his lower body against her own with a needy moan, leaving Kagome in no doubt that he was speaking the truth – he was swollen and painfully hard against her thigh, and she whimpered needily as he continued grinding his length against her.

She could feel the emotions that were driving him, and she forgot every bit of jealousy or inadequacy she'd ever felt as the sheer desire, need, and adoration he felt for her swept through her, driving her own need of him higher than it had ever been. And as the two joined once more in an explosion of desire and want, every thought of anyone else or any feelings of jealousy were completely erased from the minds of the two, the bond that was still developing between them leaving no room for thoughts of any others in either of their minds.

~oOo~

A howl broke the stillness of the night, and Inuyasha, a bittersweet expression on his face, raised his bowl of sake in a toast as his father announced his mating of the female he'd come to love so much.

“Keh... and more fool me for holding on to a hate-filled phantom for so long, and ignoring what was right in front of me. If I hadn't been such a fool, that would have been me howling in pleasure.”

While he wasn't in love with Kagome, he was well aware of the fact that if he'd ever bothered to look past Kikyou's shade, and actually pay attention to Kagome as an entirely different person, he probably would have fallen in love with her – kami knew she was much more deserving of his love and loyalty than Kikyou had ever been. And so it was that he was sitting alone in the dark listening to someone else get lucky enough to bond the woman to him for eternity.

He downed what was in the bowl in one swallow before pouring out some more. _But at least she's happy. And it's clear the bastard loves her, so she won't ever have to be alone again. Keh. It's not like I could have given her the same, since I was such a damn fool. I hurt her more than enough before, and if he can heal the damage I did, then more power to him._

 _Maybe someday the kami'll have pity on a stupid hanyou and allow me to find someone that will love me like she tried to do – and like she loves the old man, now. Because there was sure no mistaking that..._ “She loves him way more than she ever did me,” he said aloud, sipping some more of the burning alcohol and savoring the warmth as it slid down his throat, clouding his sad thoughts – and soothing some of the pain in his heart. “The way she looks at him...” he shook his head after a moment, wondering what it was like to be loved in such a manner.

“She does, doesn't she?” came a quiet male voice, and Inuyasha turned his head, a little surprised that Miroku had managed to sneak up on him. 

He shouldn't have been, though – after all, he was in a safe place, safer than anyplace he'd ever been, because, even though he knew his father had been angry at him, he also knew the older male would never let anyone harm him, either, and he'd been steadily drinking demon sake for hours, now. Technically, he was pretty much drunk, and certainly not paying attention to his surroundings, for one of the first times in his life.

“And he looks at her in the same way,” the monk continued as he moved to sit down near his friend, meeting the hanyou's gaze as he settled comfortably on a soft cushion and setting his small oil lamp aside on a low table.

“Yeah,” Inuyasha sighed after a moment, before offering the monk a bowl and some sake from his jug. “But I can't help but wonder... did he... love my mother that much?”

It was quiet for a few as Miroku sipped his sake carefully, and then set it aside as it hit him with woozy warmth. “Does it matter? He loved her. He gave his life to protect both of you. If we start trying to measure who loves who more, then we are only asking for trouble.”

“I know,” the hanyou admitted after a minute. “And that's why I'd never ask him something like that.” He took another sip, then glanced at the only male friend he'd ever had, golden eyes subdued. “So why are you up? Is Sango okay?”

“She's fine,” Miroku replied. “I just... couldn't sleep, and of course-” a lecherous smirk tilted firm lips as Inuyasha snorted knowingly, “-once I'd heard your father's rather enthusiastic proclamation, I was left with thoughts that I needed to quell, as Sango is still in too much pain to accommodate them. I actually came looking to see if I could find anymore of that most excellent sake. I'm quite happy to have succeeded.”

“Heh. Pervert.” 

Miroku made no demur, but after a few moments, a more serious air entered the room, and he flashed a glance at his friend. “I... was quite surprised, and glad, to see you, Inuyasha. Not that we were not angry when you just disappeared without a word after Naraku's defeat, but... will you tell me what happened?”

Shifting restlessly, Inuyasha sighed. He'd been expecting this, and much as he dreaded it, he knew that he owed his friends an explanation – and more importantly, an apology. “I wasn't actually planning to disappear. I just went to tell Kikyou that she was finally free, that vengeance was hers. But she... she hadn't gotten over her belief that for whatever reason, it was all my fault, I guess, and she made sure that I was subdued enough to do what she wanted me to do. Still, I can't use that as an excuse, because I could have broken out of her spell if I'd really wanted to,” he finally admitted aloud. “I let my guilt and feelings for her blind me to what was right, and... I'm sorry for that. Anyway, to make a long story short, the kami decided to let my old man kick some sense into me rather than leaving me dead, and so here I am.”

Miroku nodded after a moment to take that all in, and didn't push for any further explanations. It was obviously still a very painful subject, and probably always would be. There was no need to open the wounds any more by speaking of it any further. He'd given enough of an explanation, and even apologized, and that was what counted.

“I'm glad that you are back, Inuyasha,” he said, clapping a hand to his friend's shoulder. “I hope that now that the past has been laid to rest, you can finally look to the future with a clear heart.”

The hanyou nodded, and with that, the two fell silent, just enjoying the uncomplicated company of another as they sipped on their sake. After a while, they fell into reminiscing, and the easy talk eventually allowed both males to relax enough for their bodies to once more crave sleep; they said their goodnights, both seeking their beds with much lighter hearts.

Even blurred by massive amounts of sake, and the lightness that the forgiveness of his friend brought to his heart, though, a certain regret lay tucked away deep in Inuyasha's mind – a regret that he'd been so much a fool for so long and missed out on the greatest thing that had ever happened to him.

The only thing left to him now was to do all he could to make sure that at the least, he never lost her as a friend. 

He wouldn't be able to take it if that ever happened, because what he'd once told her was true – he needed her presence in his life. Thank kami she was such a forgiving person, because if she wasn't...

He pushed that thought aside – it didn't bear thinking about.

Closing tired eyes, he let sleep finally overtake him, secure in the knowledge that his mistakes could be fixed...

At least, partially.

And hopefully, someday, they could even be overcome. 


	17. Chapter 17

Mattaki rolled over and groaned, his brow twitching with annoyance as he slitted open his eyes. The boy had always had horrible timing, and this one topped them all...

“Sesshoumaru's here,” came the groggy, husky voice of his new mate, and, annoyance fading into a wide grin, Mattaki turned his head down to meet the hazy blue eyes that were looking up at him, with blushing cheeks just behind providing a pretty backdrop for the thick black lashes that framed her baby blues.

“And what timing,” he complained, letting his head drop back with a groan as a servant knocked timidly on the frame of the door into their room and announced his son's arrival through it. “The sun is barely peeking over the horizon, and I had not wanted to leave our bed this day at all, let alone so early.” That last was said with a slightly lascivious bent, and he chuckled as she whacked him across the chest.

“You have got to be kidding me, Mattaki!” she exclaimed heatedly, her eyes narrowing as she leaned up to once more meet his gaze. “After last night, and this morning, and this morning, and this morning _again_ ,” she retorted sarcastically, “I doubt I can even walk, let alone be ready for more! Are you trying to kill me?”

“Oh, I think a little soak in the hot springs will take care of any residual soreness, my love,” he said lightly, then winked, “especially as you are so much stronger in those areas than any other recent virgin. Would you really deny my need, Kagome?” he asked, trying – and failing – to go for a most pitiful look... pouting lower lip included.

“Get out of this bed and get moving, Mattaki,” she warned menacingly as she pointed at the door into the bathing room, “before I decide that I'm too sore to accommodate your needs for the next _month!_ ”

A mock look of horror crossed the daiyoukai's face as he climbed to his feet. “Gods forbid, woman – I would not survive such a drought!” He stretched, then, rolling every muscle in his body just to torment his new mate – and she didn't miss a single twitch, since he was standing right in front of her totally nude. Her eyes had already gone glazed, and he smirked inwardly at her expression – especially when she came to his fully erect manhood.

He burst out laughing at the stunned look that overtook her face – she hadn't really gotten a look at his rather impressive private areas last night, and it was clear from her expression just what thought was running through her mind.

“Surprised that it fit, Kagome?” he managed to get out around his laughter, and she blushed deeply before tearing her eyes away from the magnificent sight before her with horror – she couldn't _believe_ she'd been ogling his nether regions... and right in front of him, no less! Sneaking a peek when he wasn't aware was one thing... but staring openly? 

She dropped her head into her hands and groaned – she'd never live this one down, and she knew it as he continued to chuckle at her, greatly enjoying her discomfiture.

“Oh, shut up,” she finally grumbled, refusing to look at him. “Go take a bath and then entertain your son before he decides that the best entertainment to be had is starting yet _another_ fight with Inuyasha.”

Taking advantage of the fact that she wasn't looking at him, he moved swiftly on silent feet around the futon and, before she even knew he was there, scooped her shrieking form up into his arms and made for the bathing room, laughing all the way.

Breathing hard, Kagome pressed a hand to her heart in a futile attempt to calm its startled racing and glowered up at an unrepentant Mattaki, for the moment forgetting that she was also naked – and directly under her mate's definitely interested scrutiny.

“Inuyasha won't be waking anytime soon – the boy had quite a bit of my demon sake last night, and _probably_ won't be up before the noon meal. As for Sesshoumaru, he can entertain himself for a little while – that's what he gets for interrupting my mating night – and morning,” he said loftily as he hopped into the nice hot water and sat back against the ledge, Kagome still held tightly to his chest.

“As if he knew that he was interrupting anything!” Kagome rebutted huffily.

“Oh, he knew. He's been nearby since last night, and he heard enough to know exactly what he was interrupting.”

She froze. “What do you mean he heard enough? What exactly _did_ he hear?!” she asked, a horrified look on her face.

Mattaki eyed her, and decided to take pity on her offended modesty by not letting her know that Sesshoumaru had been able to hear some of her louder sounds. “He heard me howl. It is a very distinctive howl, made only when a male has just mated his female for the first time. It's instinctive – I couldn't have stopped that sound had I even been in the right frame of mind to try. Which I was not.”

Red as she'd ever been, Kagome dropped her face onto her mate's chest and groaned. “I'm never going near Sesshoumaru _again_! How can I face him after... after...” she trailed off, unable to articulate herself any further.

“If you cannot face anyone who knows what happened last night, Kagome, then you will probably have to avoid everyone in the shiro forever,” he laughed.

She shrank even more, almost seeming to fold in on herself. “You mean... you mean they all _know_?” she whispered, humiliated to think that everyone knew what she'd been doing last night. Did no one in Sengoku Jidai have any concept of privacy?

“Yes, Kagome, they all know,” he said, finally down to chuckles as he lifted her cringing form and tossed her into the deeper end of the pool of hot water, watching with mirthful eyes as she went under, then came back up, spluttering angrily. “No reason to be ashamed, woman – it's a natural part of life, and all adults participate in the same things at some point or another – and usually quite frequently.”

“B-but, but I... I,” she stammered, terribly embarrassed and unable to even get anything else out.

Mattaki watched her with amazement. “Surely you will not tell me that people in your era have become so prudish, Kagome,” he chided disbelievingly. “Do they all refuse to ever see their friends and families again just because they have taken a mate?”

“N-no,” she admitted sheepishly, beginning to wring some of the excess water from her hair for something to do as she went for the herbal concoction that passed as soap in this era and poured it onto her locks. “But... intimacy is a private thing in my era. Though there are those that don't mind people knowing what they are doing and even allow people to watch them, most are not that way – and I am _certainly_ not so inclined as to be comfortable with everyone knowing what we were doing.”

Another chuckle was her answer as her new mate waded up to her and took some of the soap so he could begin washing his own hair. “Well, just be glad you didn't accept that ookami with the moldy pelt, then – ookami usually mate in front of the entire tribe, at least the first time. They really don't care where they are or who's around; when the urge to mate overtakes them, they just go for it,” he told his shocked little female quite casually.

“Really?” she squeaked, humiliating and horrifying pictures running behind her eyes as she thought about what Mattaki had just told her. Not that she'd ever thought of Kouga that way, but she could only thank kami rather fervently that she _hadn't_ been attracted to his rather annoying personality, and that her own mate was not so inclined.

“But aren't inu and wolves close relatives?” she asked, knowing that technically, dogs were descended from wolves.

He growled, a disgruntled look on his face at the mere thought of being related in any fashion to that mangy little bastard. “Wolves don't really think in an individual manner – the pack is everything. Inu, on the other hand, are much more individualists than ookami are. While we are also pack-oriented, we tend to have stronger individual personalities than ookami, and prefer some of our activities to be less... _crowded_.”

“Oh,” she almost whispered, shaking such horrors as public mating out of her mind as she finished scrubbing her hair and dunked to rinse. “Well,” she finally said after coming back up, “it's a good thing for Kouga I didn't accept him, because if he'd tried... tried... well, I would have purified his ass right then and there and been done with it.” She eyed her amused mate darkly. “Just a warning for you, Mattaki – you'd better never try anything that should be private in a public setting, or I'll purify certain parts off of your body – and what's been purified off takes a while, a _painful_ while, to regrow. Keep that in mind.”

“Hm.” He eyed her with amusement, but didn't say anything else, and the two fell into a comfortable silence as they finished bathing, then exited the bath to dry off and dress for the day.

Just as they finished and Mattaki slid the door to their room open for his new mate, he said, “Still, I think I will make Sesshoumaru suffer for interrupting my day. I had plans, you know, woman, and since I'm being forced to wait, you will be getting little sleep tonight. Again.”

Kagome flushed deeply and mock glared at him as she walked past him out the door. “Maybe I should go visit Kaede one more time before the weather closes in for the winter. I'd only be gone for a week – or two,” she mused, giggling as he denied her vehemently and lunged at her.

“Would serve you right!” she called over her shoulder as she ran off, leaving Mattaki to shake his head at her as he followed her towards the public rooms of the palace.

~oOo~

Not a muscle of Sesshoumaru's face moved, his eyes were the same flat gold as they always were, and yet Mattaki knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that his son was quite amused, fully aware of what he was interrupting, and enjoying that fact immensely.

“Just remember, Sesshoumaru – revenge is a bitch,” Mattaki warned the boy as he sat down across from him on a comfortable cushion and studied his son's bland face, Kagome having refused to enter the room; too embarrassed to face Sesshoumaru quite yet, she'd gone off to make sure breakfast was readied, instead.

“I am certain it is, father,” he returned calmly, almost uninterestedly, leaving Mattaki to plan a _most_ terrible revenge. He would make the boy pay, oh, yes, he would.

“So what was the reason that you saw fit to appear now?” he asked, brow cocked and his own face now mirroring his son's bland expression.

“Did I not say I would join you here soon? I am certain your skills are suffering from a lack of, shall we say, challenging opponents?” Mattaki knew exactly what his son was insinuating – and apparently so did his other son.

“Oh, fuck you, you bastard!” Inuyasha snapped as he stomped into the room with as rotten a scowl as anyone had ever seen on his face. He slumped onto a cushion near the wall and dropped his head into his hands with a low growl. “It's too damn early to be dealing with you. Why don't you go away and come back like... _never?”_

“Inuyasha,” Sesshoumaru acknowledged coolly. “It appears that father's return has not done much good when it comes to your behavior – you are still uncouth and annoying, and your manners are, as always, abysmal.”

The hanyou responded with a very rude and graphic description of what his older brother could do with his manners while glaring out of red-lined eyes at him. He paled in the middle of his tirade, however, and groaned as he almost folded over.

“Damn demon sake,” he moaned, his head pounding and his stomach roiling.

“Since you are not a demon, perhaps you should not have had any demon sake to drink. It was not meant for weaklings,” Sesshoumaru returned his brother's complaint with an even more bland expression than when Mattaki walked in, and the older daiyoukai was certain that he was laughing hard at his brother deep inside. “Next time, stick to sake made by humans. Even _your_ pathetic tolerance levels should be equal to the task of drinking _human_ sake.”

Wanting to laugh but knowing better, Mattaki cut Inuyasha off before he could begin a tirade against his older brother. “Sesshoumaru, stop antagonizing your brother. It is seriously too early for the two of you, and if all you came for was to irritate Inuyasha, then you can go away again and return later. I have better and much more interesting and entertaining things I could be doing right this particular moment – things you _deliberately_ interrupted,” the daiyoukai said, a smirk on his face at the expressions on the faces of both his sons at his words.

Inuyasha's face scrunched up in total disgust, an expression that was almost mirrored by the look on Sesshoumaru's face as the two let their father know in no uncertain terms that they were not amused by his allusion to the events of the previous night.

“Then you shouldn't have bothered me,” Mattaki retorted with a shrug. “As for you, Inuyasha, I had not expected to see you until at _least_ this afternoon, with as much of my sake as you put away last night.”

“Keh,” Inuyasha replied sourly, not looking up and keeping his eyes closed against the light. “Take a hell of a lot more than sake to keep _me_ down when this bastard's around, even if it _is_ demon sake.” 

He snarled suddenly, ears flattened to his head as he peered out from under his bangs venomously, his eyes pinned to his straight-faced brother, who for some reason was shifting restlessly – causing his swords to clank together in his lap. Repeatedly. While it wouldn't have bothered someone with human hearing, Inuyasha's hearing was much more powerful, and so his brother's little game was definitely causing him problems.

“Keep it up, bastard, and I'll come sit next to you and let my upset stomach empty itself all over your pretty clothes,” he growled warningly. 

“You cannot move fast enough to be of any concern to me,” the daiyoukai said in return, his voice bored. “Even when you are not suffering from overindulgence, you are too slow, so your threat has no meaning to this one.”

“Was fast enough to cut off that arm of yours,” he shot back. “Didn't see _you_ ever takin' any of my limbs off, despite all your big talk about half breeds and how much more powerful and faster you were than me.”

At that, Mattaki had to laugh. “He's got you there, Sesshoumaru,” he told his now narrow-eyed son. “Now drop it, you two.” He looked up as Kagome peeked into the room, cheeks a charming pink as she refused to meet anyone's eyes and informed him that breakfast was ready. “Come, Inuyasha,” he said to his youngest, who actually shuddered at the thought of food. “I know it sounds terrible, but actually, you will feel better after you've eaten.”

He stood up to head for the dining room, saying, “Sesshoumaru, remove your armor and weaponry and give it to a servant to put in your room – none of that belongs at the table,” over his shoulder in a rather abstracted voice as he followed after Kagome. It was obvious to the two what their father's mind was on once again, and both males watched with mild revulsion.

After all, what child wants to know about their parents' sex life?

“Really, father,” Sesshoumaru said disapprovingly, “you are acting like a young pup after his first rut.” Left unsaid but clearly being intimated were the words 'grow up and act your age.'

Mattaki just laughed at him. “Jealous?”

Inuyasha snorted. “Hell, yeah, he's jealous – he hasn't gotten any since his hand got bored with him and started turning him down a couple hundred years ago.”

There was a choking sound from the room they were entering, and Kagome, her face completely red, yelled, “Osuwari!” as Miroku laughed outright, enjoying the topic of conversation even though he'd only heard a tiny portion of it - until he joined Inuyasha on the ground courtesy of Sango's heavy fist. Then it wasn't quite as much fun anymore. 

“I see the childish contretemps of Inuyasha and the monk still continue,” Sesshoumaru said coolly as he sat down and waited for the others to take their seats. “I begin to wonder whether they will ever grow up.”

Sango glared down at the floored monk as she sat down on her cushion. “Well, _he_ never will, that's for sure,” she snapped. 

Mattaki chuckled as he stepped over the bodies of his son and the houshi, not at all put out at the two's shenanigans, and sat down, signaling the servants to begin serving the meal.

“Congratulation's, father, on your mating,” Sesshoumaru said calmly once everyone was seated, and the felicitations were echoed by those around the table, as Kagome blushed and refused to look anyone in the eye.

“Thank you, Sesshoumaru,” Mattaki murmured, but with a cruel smirk, he reiterated his earlier promise. “But still, remember, boy, that sooner or later I will get revenge.”

Sesshoumaru stared blankly back at his father, just as he had earlier, and the conversation soon turned to other things, to Kagome's great relief. Though not without Miroku getting in one last crack that ensured he spent the rest of breakfast sleeping off the headache he _hadn't_ gotten from the sake, but from the lumps Sango had pounded into his lecherous head, instead.

The day passed fairly quietly, if one were to ignore the several and varied little spats that happened between the brothers, that is. But finally, after a fairly aggressive display between the two, Mattaki got tired of it and dragged the both of them off to the dojo just so that none of his palace got destroyed by the battling siblings.

“Honestly!” he exclaimed, staring irately at both his sons. “What is it with you two? You shame our blood with your constant petty fighting! I certainly expected better of _you_ , Sesshoumaru.” His eyes narrowed then as they fell on his heir. “And as a matter of fact, I have a bone – or ten – to pick with you, boy. I'm not at all happy at the lengths you went to in order to circumvent my will. The Tessaiga and the Tensaiga were mine to bestow as I wished. Dislike my choice or not, you had no business trying to get around my wishes. And the lengths you went to?” he berated the silent Sesshoumaru, who actually managed to look chagrined, while still seeming unmoved. It was rather unnerving for those watching, actually. Only Sesshoumaru could manage to show those two completely opposing emotions at one time – and yet somehow, not.

“Using the un-mother to pose as Izayoi? I will have blood for that little disgraceful display,” he promised his son, striding to one wall and drawing his sword from its stand. “Inuyasha, stand aside. We will spar later, for now, go take a seat with the others while your brother and I have a small discussion about my feelings on this matter.”

No one had to tell Inuyasha twice, he was quite gleeful that it wasn't him on the old man's bad side this time. Plus, he'd always wanted to see his older, arrogant as hell brother get his ass handed to him.

Seemed like he was about to get his wish.

“Tell me, Sesshoumaru – is there nothing you would not dare?” he asked as he slipped into an easy battle stance and beckoned his sometimes obnoxious son to come at him.

“I would dare much to gain my own ends, Father,” Sesshoumaru said as he analyzed his sire's stance and then darted towards him. “But there are some things even I will not do. That is why I merely used the un-mother to impersonate Izayoi, rather than actually reviving her to use her for such a purpose.”

“Reviving her?” Mattaki asked as they crossed blades, moving almost too fast to be seen. “Since when have you been able to revive someone centuries dead?”

“I may not have the knowledge of the necessary spells, Father, but there are those who do. There is always more than one way to skin a cat,” he said, “as the saying goes.”

“True,” Mattaki acknowledged, giving him that one. “Though I am pleased that you at least have _some_ limits on how far you are willing to shame our blood, you still went too far. I was not at all pleased to hear of that little transgression – nor the others you committed in going after something that was not yours.”

Disengaging, for the first time there was a look on Sesshoumaru's face that gave away his _need_ to know the answer to what he was about to ask. He thought that he had learned what his father had been trying to teach him, in his roundabout way, but he wanted to be sure. 

“Why did you give Inuyasha the Tessaiga?” he asked quietly, but with an intensity that Mattaki could not miss. “Why not me?”

It was certain that none of them expected Mattaki's reaction, as everyone stared in amazement at him.

He rolled his eyes at Sesshoumaru, obviously wondering about his son's mental acuity.

“Because you didn't need it, boy. Didn't you figure that out when you regenerated your arm – and your own sword?” he asked, shaking his head and tutting disappointedly. “You just wanted to take it away from Inuyasha because you were jealous, not because you needed it.”

“Hn.” Sesshoumaru considered his father, and then rushed him again, annoyed at his sire's penchant for making sport of him. He wasn't one to be trifled with, and it was past time his father learned that lesson.

What followed was a fight the likes of which none of the others had ever seen. Every single one of them, from Miroku to Kagome, and Inuyasha even more, were stunned at the speed, strikes, blocks, and gravity-defying moves the two daiyoukai were capable of. Watching the two go at it, Inuyasha finally realized that he had never been his brother's equal – and never would be in that, while he could learn the fighting style, the moves, he would never be able to match the sheer speed that the two fought at.

While he was immensely powerful for a hanyou, he was still not a full youkai, and that left him third on the rung of ultimate power, beneath his father, and then Sesshoumaru. Because it was quite obvious that while Sesshoumaru was indeed an excellent fighter, their father was better still. It was not really surprising – he was, after all, much older than either of his sons, and had been training with weapons for centuries before Sesshoumaru was even born. It showed.

When the two finally disengaged, Sesshoumaru was the only one who had been blooded, and it was easy to see his displeasure with his performance. 

“Do not sulk, Sesshoumaru. I have been training with weapons for centuries longer than you. Just as you will never catch up to me in wisdom, for even as you learn, so do I, you will also never catch up to me in this.” Then he got a wry, self-deprecating look on his face and chuckled. “If you think _I'm_ tough to beat, you should have fought your grandfather. I never did manage to draw blood on the old man, and probably still wouldn't be able to if he were to return from the underworld and take me to task over my foolishness with Ryokotsussei. I'd probably have to be carried from here after he finished spanking me.”

Everyone was agog at such a thing, and even Sesshoumaru found that hard to believe. Of course, by the time of his birth, his father's sire was long dead, but still – he was suddenly glad that he was not facing such a being, since he knew his father was not exaggerating. He wasn't prone to lying or any variation thereof.

He sliced his sword through the air and bowed lightly to his sire. “I think that I am perfectly content fighting with you, Father. Though I would have enjoyed seeing you get 'spanked', as you put it,” he said, with a decided smirk.

“So would I,” muttered Kagome in an aside to Sango, who just choked. It was obvious she'd said it in tones she had hoped her mate had not heard, but she was always forgetting those damnable ears as Inuyasha turned to stare incredulously at her, then looked disgusted at the ensuing mental picture the words obviously thrust into his unwilling mind.

“If you wish to spank me, Kagome, all you had to do was ask,” Mattaki called over to where the group was all sitting, and with a red-faced glare in his direction, she shouted, “That's not what I meant, you pervert!” before hauling ass out of there, to the tune of Inuyasha's disgusted snarl, and Miroku's knowing sounds of amusement.

“Oi, would you quit that shit!” Inuyasha yelled, his face twisted up in disgust. “No one else wants to know about that!”

Sesshoumaru couldn't help but agree with his brother as his father chuckled. “Then don't listen, boy,” Mattaki said, before turning back to Sesshoumaru and completely ignoring his disapproving expression. “Come, let us continue, son. It has been a while since I've been able to fully stretch my muscles, and I am quite enjoying myself.”

“Indeed,” Sesshoumaru intoned loftily. “With only Inuyasha as an opponent, I am not surprised.” He just couldn't ignore the chance for another dig at his brother, but this time it wasn't Inuyasha that answered the insult, it was their father. For once, the hanyou was more than willing to sit back and watch their sire 'spank' Sesshoumaru, as it were. It was quite an entertaining sight, actually, watching his arrogant prick of a brother get irritated enough at his inability to actually draw blood on their father to show the emotion on his face.

“You have improved while I've been gone, Sesshoumaru,” Mattaki said. “But there is still much room for more improvement. You still hesitate sometimes when engaging. Most probably would not notice the pause, as it is so fast, but I know better. You must work on that.”

The younger daiyoukai could not really say anything to his father's criticism, since it was nothing but the truth. Sometimes, he questioned himself at the last minute, and it delayed his response by a few milli-seconds. For most of his opponents, that would not even be noticed, let alone be enough for them to gain the upper hand, but his father was not 'most opponents', and it was more than enough time for him to take advantage.

“Come at me again.”

And so the spar continued, the two whirling around each other, moving in and out of intricate battle patterns that none there had ever even seen. It was certainly quite the show, and Sango especially, besides Inuyasha, was spellbound. She was, after all, a warrior herself, and battle and such fascinated her. Miroku also, could enjoy a spirited display of combat skills, and he knew that few were privileged enough to see one like this.

Even Kagome, after fuming for a while in a far-off section of the garden had to return after a large booming sound shook the palace and its environs, and she once more sat down with the others to watch Sesshoumaru getting his ass handed to him. It was obvious from Inuyasha's face that he was enjoying the day immensely, and would be keeping it in his memory for years to come.

It would have been even better if it had been him handing his brother the spanking, but hey, he'd take what he could get.

By the time dinner rolled around, Mattaki seemed happy with the blood he'd drawn from Sesshoumaru in repayment of his series of affronts after his death, and the group retired back to the dining area to partake of the evening meal.

“We will spar on the morrow, Inuyasha,” Mattaki said in passing as they all trooped down the halls to the dining area.

“Keh.” After witnessing his father's and brother's antics that day as his father took his brother to task over his previous behavior, he was more than willing to learn what he could of their fighting style, even if he could never quite match their speed.

He could sure as hell try.

~oOo~

Winter set in with a vengeance within a few days, and the residents of the palace settled into an easy routine. Most mornings were spent in the dojo, all of them practicing their own forms of combat – even Kagome. She was slowly learning to fight with a sword, her trainer being her mate, and her sparring partner being Sango.

That didn't mean that she let her skills with her arrows go, and neither did Sango forget to practice with her Hiraikotsu on a daily basis. Miroku practiced with his staff, and even did some fighting with a katana, as his father had insisted he be trained in the skill, though he rarely used one. About the only one that didn't do much of any combat training was Shippo.

That wasn't to say he didn't do anything, but instead of combat, since he was still a little small to be learning a whole lot of fighting skills, he practiced with his magic. He was really quite good with his illusions, having a finer control than most kitsune his age – but that wasn't surprising, considering his background. Most kitsune his age weren't orphans traveling with a group out to destroy a terrible foe. He'd had to learn what he could to defend himself, and he'd really upped his practicing after participating in the kitsune youjitsu exams. He was much higher ranked than other kits his age, and he was terribly proud of that.

So was Kagome, and she helped him perfect his tricks, being a willing 'victim' and playing along so that he could become even better at it. And while the snow piled up outside, those in the palace had plenty of time to practice their skills, every single one of them improving under Mattaki's discerning eyes.

Every so often, though, Sesshoumaru would disappear for a few days, maybe a week, and when questioned, Mattaki merely said that he was checking on what was his and patrolling the Western Borders, as was his duty. Since none of them except Kagome knew about Sesshoumaru's decisions concerning an older Rin, no one save her understood what was actually being said.

The one thing all of them were happy about was that he saw fit to deposit Jaken somewhere else, as well, because none of them wanted to deal with him for an entire winter in rather close quarters. No matter how large the palace was, for Jaken to be anywhere within it was too close – _wayyyy_ too close.

It was a particularly harsh winter, and there were plenty of people that died that year – mostly those who were old or infirm that could no longer withstand the terrible weather. There were also those that simply hadn't been able to store enough food to have it in the amounts needed to be fed well enough to fight off the weather-related illnesses that always hit at this time of year. Lack of food was always a problem in the winter.

That was a problem that Mattaki and those in his palace did not have, as they'd hunted enough meat to be dried and set in cold storage to last well into the spring thaw. Kaede also benefited from this, as quite a bit of dried meat was taken to her for her and Rin to share. Caring for the girl was greatly benefiting the old woman – though neither Inuyasha, nor Kagome would have let her go without, even if she were not taking care of the little girl.

Finally, though, winter began to wane, spring slowly took hold as always happens, and life returned to the earth, as those that had stayed close to home during the days of Yuki Onna's terrible power once more began straying much greater distances.

For the group in the palace, that meant several things. Miroku traveled to the village as soon as the weather cleared and began drying out a little more, determined to have a hut for himself and his wife readied. It would take a bit of time, for the wood had to be cut, dried, and seasoned before any building could be done, but he wanted to get started immediately – Sango had just found that she was pregnant with their first child, although, thanks to the inuyoukai noses in the palace, they knew much, much sooner than most people did.

Everyone went with him, by that time itching to get out of the palace, and when they finally reached the village and set up camp near the well so as not to overcrowd Kaede in her small hut, Rin was once more gone, Sesshoumaru having come for her as soon as the rains had let up. Since it was now near the end of spring, the weather was fine and beautiful, the sakura were in full fragrant blossom, and – most - everyone was in fine spirits.

The village elders were more than happy to welcome in a warrior monk and a taijiya – they would be quite helpful in protecting the village and leading the village guard in training to be more effective in doing their duty, as well, since times were hard and bandits and lower youkai were everywhere.

They awarded the monk a spot of land near the edge of the village that those who were part of the village guard called home so that they could all react to a threat with more cohesion than if they were spread out all over the place. It was a nice spot, with a clear view of the lands around the village so they could see attacks coming better, and with a good fertile bit of ground for a garden. Within a few days, Miroku had foundations plotted for the hut, which was going to be quite a bit bigger than most of those in the village – since Sango had promised to bear him all those children, of course, he would be needing the space.

Inuyasha, enlisted to help his friend build the hut, rolled his eyes at the monk's grandiose plans for the building, but didn't say much, just doing whatever was needed with a shake of his head. After all, it was something to do, and he really needed to have something to keep him occupied. Winter had been long and he wanted to stretch his legs, but since he was tied to his father by the kami, he couldn't go anywhere the older youkai was not and he was definitely feeling the chains.

It was Kaede that broke open the subject of what Kagome and her mate were planning to do with their lives. Surprisingly enough, she got no answer but a very uncertain, pained look from Kagome. 

After a few moments of an awkward silence, Mattaki sighed. “We have not... discussed anything in particular. I suppose, like anyone else, we will simply live. There are many things we may do, after all.”

But Kaede knew Kagome better than that, and knew that subject was eating at the girl. She had been born human, and like all humans, had expected to grow old and eventually pass on. Finding out that she wasn't was very unnerving for her, despite the fact that she hadn't ever let on to anyone how heavily that subject lay on her heart, even keeping it from her mate.

She hadn't been born to eternity, but now she had it – but what does one do with eternity? Would it not grow weary and mind-numbing, living day in and day out, watching the world change around you but be unable to do the same? To watch as endless years passed by, all seeming the same as the years before? How did one survive such with their sanity intact?

And worse... it had finally occurred to her that she would eventually see her family again – only to have to watch them all age and die around her, passing into mere memories just as they were memories now. Why had the kami done this to her?

Unfortunately, for that burning question, there appeared to be no answer, and it had become more of a need than just a desire to know as time went on. Perhaps she should go up to the shrine and pray, asking the kami to answer that question?

Kaede, eyeing the young woman knowingly, nodded towards the hill where the shrine was located. “Go. Thy question will surely be answered, though ye may not like the answer, Kagome. But at least then ye will know, and not be left to wonder for the rest of time.”

Kagome stood with an awkward glance over at her mate, and then nodded jerkily at the old miko and left the hut, knowing she'd upset her mate, and wishing that she hadn't. It wasn't that she wanted to die and leave him behind. No... such a thing would surely break her heart. But the thoughts of forever lay heavy on her heart, and she just didn't know how to handle the immense weight of all the coming years, and all the losses those years would bring. As it stood, the only ones that would continue to be around for all those years would be her mate, Shippo, and Sesshoumaru. Even Inuyasha would one day... the worst part of it all was knowing that until forever ended, she would endure the separation from all those she loved - outside her mate and adopted son, and Sesshoumaru. She would never rejoin any of them on the other side, and that thought hurt something inside her greatly.

She shook her head and cleared it of those thoughts, not wanting to approach the kami with grief and pain leading her to say or do things that might be disrespectful.

Kneeling respectfully once she stepped into the shrine after purifying her mouth in the small trough just outside the gate, she bowed her head and tried to calm her heart, but she couldn't stop the tears from welling up as the plaguing thoughts of all the loved ones she would lose over an endless lifetime rose up again.

At that point, the only thing she could get out was, “Why?” in a choked, upset voice that was riddled with fear and pain.

But it was enough, and the kami answered.

“There are many reasons why you have been given eternity, Kagome,” came a kindly, very feminine voice. “Would you wish instead to age and die as a normal human, forcing your mate to watch in grief and pain as you faded away into the afterlife where he could not now follow?”

“N-no,” she managed to get out around her tight throat. “But how do I deal with eternity? How do I keep myself sane through all the centuries I've been condemned to live through? And most of all, how do I live through all the losses of those I love?”

A gentle touch against her head as a hand brushed a lock of hair back served to make her break down as it reminded her of her mother. Sobbing, she held her head in her hands and cried, the first of many tears of grief she would be forced to shed for those she loved as they moved on and left her behind.

“You need not fear, Kagome. Eventually, the world will be changed, and those you have lost will return again. And even forever will, one day, end. Eventually, even time will crumble. The universe, after all, is a circle, and one day, it will return back to the beginning, and all will start again.”

Kagome had never thought of any of that, and while it did help to know that one day she would see her loved ones again, the sheer mind-numbing years between now and then lay like a lead shroud over her. 

“Will everything that's happened before, happen again, then?” she asked. “Is that all there is? Returning to once again live whatever life we lived before?” She couldn't help but think that for those lucky few that had lived good lives, that wasn't so bad. But what about those that had suffered through torture and terror in their lives?

A chuckle met her ears, and she stayed silent with her head down as she waited for whatever it was that the kami would say to her.

“No. The universe is subject to reincarnation just as the souls of living beings are. Each time, the universe resets itself and starts over, and each time, it gets just a little bit better. Eventually...” Kagome could hear the kami move away from her and waited hopefully for the answer to be finished, “... eventually, the entire universe will become perfect, and then... then all will be as it should be. And you will get to see it all, Kagome – you, and your mate, and a few others. Consider yourself lucky.”

She thought about that for a few minutes, but...

“How... how do the kami manage to not lose the will to live as time, so seemingly unending, flows by?” she asked softly, really wanting to know.

A different voice answered her. 

“We are different than humans. We do not see things the same way, and the passage of millenia, for us, oftimes seems as the blink of an eye. Stop thinking of days and hours and months and years, child, or you will send yourself crazy. Just live, and accept what life brings you,” a male voice said, his tone a little more stern than the previous kami's had been. “We have given you companions that will not leave you so that you do not have to face this fate alone. You have a mate that sits near the well at this moment, feeling guilty that you are eternal and seemingly do not wish to be, and hurt that you apparently want to leave him for death's cold arms. Life is not always what we think it is, or should be, but it is nonetheless life. Take it as it comes, and be thankful for what you've been given.”

Nodding her bowed head, she sniffled as she tried to stop her tears, feeling horribly guilty about what the kami had said about her mate. She knew how she would feel if the situation were reversed, and she felt terrible knowing that she had been so busy thinking about what she might lose, that she'd forgotten to be thankful for what she'd gained.

She stood and genuflected. “Thank you for answering my questions,” she whispered, and to the feel of approval from the kami, she turned and left the shrine, heading straight for the long flight of steps that were so heartbreakingly reminiscent of her family's shrine five hundred years away. 

Coming to a halt, she looked out over the hive of activity that was the village in late spring and inhaled the fresh air deeply, just letting herself enjoy the moment without thinking about the next minute, or what might come in another minute. It helped to calm her, and she realized that was what she needed to do – just like the kami had said. Stop thinking about the units of time she'd been taught to think in, and instead, toss it all aside for a more simple way of looking at things – a much less complicated and stressful way of seeing reality.

After a little bit of time had passed, she felt a tentative touch through the bond with her mate, and her expression saddened. Without looking back, she began making her way down the steps, heading determinedly through the village and then the forest to go after her mate.

It was time to undo the damage she'd done by not only hiding this fear that had been slowly eating at her in silence and the dark, but in forgetting to remember to be thankful for what she would keep, rather than consumed with mourning for what she would lose.

Life would not always be easy, but then, she realized, it never had been easy.

That didn't mean it was bad.


	18. Chapter 18

A light breeze curling black locks around her shoulders, Kagome tilted her face into it as she walked, headed for the well – and her mate. 

With a sigh, she admitted to herself that she shouldn't have kept her worries and fears from him. But she hadn't wanted to bother him with what she still saw as her own problem. It was something she had to come to terms with – that she wasn't a normal human with a human's life span, and that because of that, she would face a lot of pain and loss over the forever she was going to live.

However, she now realized that while it was, indeed, her problem, in that she was the one that actually had to take in and learn to deal with it, that didn't mean that she shouldn't have told Mattaki about it. After all, it had been eating at her for some time, and she had been deliberately hiding that fact from him. And for him to find out in such a way had given an impression she certainly hadn't wanted to give – an impression that was actually _very_ wrong.

But there was nothing for it, since she'd already done the damage, she would have to deal with the consequences – and that was facing her mate and acknowledging her wrong, and apologizing for it, as well as explaining to him that it was _not_ a desire to leave him behind that was causing her upset.

She stopped for a moment as she reached the edge of the clearing and just watched her mate silently. He was so beautiful, shining in the bright sunlight like the mythical being she'd once believed youkai were – the mythical being he really was. He was standing before the well, his head tilted back as he looked into the sky, and he absolutely took her breath away.

Shaking her head, she started towards him, knowing he knew she was there, and when she reached him, before he could react or even speak, she said, “I'm sorry.”

It was silent for a moment, and then Mattaki sighed, before looking down at her, his expression a little remote. “For what? Wishing to still have the limited life of a normal human?” he asked, his tone of voice reserved.

“No!” she exclaimed, frowning at him. “I don't regret having forever with you, so don't you ever think that again! What I... _fear_ ,” she admitted after a few seconds, “is all the _other_ people that I love that I will lose. There are so many,” she said slowly, her eyes going sad again at the thought.

Once again, silence reigned as Mattaki lost himself in thought; as he actually took those words and looked at them, he could understand what she was saying, because eventually, he also, would lose Inuyasha, if not Sesshoumaru, as well. It was by no means certain, of course, though it was possible his eldest could live forever – no one knew for sure how long inuyoukai could live, since they stopped aging once reaching maturity, and every last one of them had always died in combat. But things were changing, according to Kagome, and though there were some terrible years coming, from what she'd said, eventually, there would be a lot more peace. So there was a chance that Sesshoumaru could survive, but he could not be sure, making it very possible that he, too would one day have no one left but her to cling to.

And while that was what mates were to each other, still – what parent wanted to outlive their own children?

He unbent and turned to look at her, meeting her serious gaze; she hadn't looked away from him at all while he'd been thinking her words over.

“I comprehend your... apprehension and fear, but I have this to say to you,” he said slowly, not looking away from her, his gaze sparking intensely. “We are mates. Mates are forever, as I told you once before. Even were we to die, we would still be mates on the other side. There would be no rebirth for either of us. And I can also tell you this... when I was there, before, I was not with anyone else. Death was like dreaming – I remembered myself and my life, but I was not truly awake and aware, so even if others that I had loved and lost before had been near, I would not have known, and neither would they. Only mates can never be separated, even by death.”

Kagome blinked in surprise, the words taking several moments to completely sink in. “You mean... everyone's beliefs of joining their families on the other side someday, of seeing them again, are... wrong?” she whispered, not sure what to think about that.

“It would seem so, if my experience was anything to go by. I do believe that only those that have achieved perfection and ascended are aware and can see and once more interact with their loved ones as they also ascend and join them.” He lifted a hand and brushed a lock of hair back behind her ear, his claws brushing her cheek gently. “Take every bit of joy out of the time you have here in this world with those you care for and hold the memories in your heart forever. But know that _we_ will always be together, no matter where that is, until the day that _all_ reaches the state of perfection it is destined to achieve, and then we will once more be able to see our loved ones. We will always have each other to cling to, and that is as it should be.”

While the idea of such was a great comfort, still, something had occurred to her, and she suddenly wasn't certain if she could ever bring herself to have children with her mate. It was going to be hard enough to lose her friends and family to death one day, but she didn't think she could face what Mattaki would have to already in outliving his children. Parents weren't meant to do that – it was an unnatural state, and one she could not fathom going through.

Mattaki's gaze intensified on her as he felt her consternation through their bond.

“Tell me.”

It wasn't a request, but Kagome just didn't know how to verbalize what she'd just thought, and shook her head, turning away to stare into the depths of the now silent and defunct well with burning eyes.

“Speak, Kagome,” he pushed, not willing to let this go any further. It was a subject that needed to be dealt with and then put away, and he wasn't about to allow it to linger over them anymore.

Reluctantly, she spoke up, her voice weak and hesitant. “I... uhm, I don't know...” stopping, she decided to approach the matter from another direction, and asked him a question, instead. “Have you thought about what it will be like when... when Inuyasha... you know, passes on again?” she finally managed to get out, her own upset at the idea surging into the bond.

He stiffened a little, a bit surprised to hear that question. But he answered. “How could I not? It is not something I want to face, though I know I have no choice. But worrying about what I cannot change, and something that is centuries away at least, is pointless, and would only spoil the time I _do_ have with him. So I put it aside and think of the time I have, instead of worrying about what will happen when that time ends.” He shot a questioning glance of his own at her, wondering why she had asked that, though she was still looking into the well.

She wrapped her arms around herself and nodded, her eyes unfocused as she stared into the shadowed depths. But she could feel the curiosity coming from him, and sighed, suddenly feeling chilled, despite the lovely sunshine and pleasant warmth of the day.

“I... I was just thinking, that if... if we had children-” she blushed a little, “-they would die, too... and I would... I don't think I could say goodbye,” she finished in a rush, her eyes flying up to meet his with a tormented look that hit him hard as he realized where her thoughts had wandered. “I don't think that we should have children, Mattaki. It's not natural for parents to outlive their children. I... I just couldn't...” she trailed off, choked up and unable to get anything else out. She didn't need to, though – she'd said enough.

Moving the few feet that stood between them, he took her into his arms and held her tense and upset form close and took in her chilled state with concern – this subject was really upsetting her. He enfolded her in his pelt to help warm her back up as he ran his hands gently up and down her back and just allowed her to cry it out, as he could smell that she was.

Once she'd calmed once more, her crying down to sniffles, he said, “While I will not deny that your words pain me, I also have pondered on this subject, and wondered whether the rewards of having those children would be worth the eventual loss. And the answer is yes,” he said unequivocally. “I would not give up having either of my sons just because I would one day lose them. But I will not force you to have children, and it is truthfully not something we need to worry over at this point, anyway. If someday you decide to change your mind and want to try, then I will be glad to do so.”

Kagome felt ashamed of herself in that moment; she was being such a coward, and her mate was simply accepting her words and comforting her, no matter how he felt on the matter. But it was certain that right now, at least, she was not ready, and that she would have to have time to really think on these matters and grow accustomed to her new life before she might be able to work herself through these issues.

She pulled away from him a little, still sniffling, and nodded up at him, obviously trying to push aside these thoughts and move on. “Someday, maybe I'll take you up on that offer, Mattaki,” she finally said after searching his eyes. “Just... not right now. I need time to come to terms with the way things are.”

He smiled at her reassuringly. “It's fine, Kagome. As I said, it is not as though there is any big hurry, ne?”

A tiny, watery giggle escaped her lips and she nodded, looking down at his pelt as it squeezed her and then moved back to its normal place curled around his shoulder as he wore it when not in his armor. It was just the same way Sesshoumaru wore his, though he preferred to wear it that way all the time, even when in his armor. Of course, his armor wasn't as elaborate as his father's, either.

Exhaling deeply, Mattaki laced his fingers through his mate's and began strolling leisurely through the meadow grasses towards the trees, heading slowly for the Goshinboku. If there was one thing he had learned about his mate, it was that when she was unsettled, visiting the tree always seemed to calm her. Living with him as she did now, not within easy reach of it had really in some ways been an adjustment for her. But since they were nearby right now, he could indulge her need for the soothing presence of the god-tree, and was pleased to feel her calm as they neared it. Even he could feel the aura of the tree, and could well understand why both she and Inuyasha felt so calm when within its influence.

Sitting down under its spreading boughs still rife with sakura blossoms, he was quiet and simply let her commune with the tree, easily feeling it as even his own stress and upset calmed and quieted from where he rested against one of the larger roots. 

“This tree,” Kagome began in a dreamy, contemplative voice, “it's always been a part of my life. Ever since I was a tiny child, I remember this tree and its influence.” She caressed the barren spot on the bark, and Mattaki knew she was remembering her first sight of his son. He waited quietly for her to finish. She sighed after a moment and turned away from the tree, hopping down from the vining branches that had grown up around its base and sitting next to her mate. “I hope... I hope it always is a part of my life, in one way or another.”

“Kagome,” he hesitated, not wanting to add to her strange mood, but then finished, “even this tree will eventually die, you know.”

Her face fell, and she nodded. “I know – but I can take its seeds and plant them, and it will still be with me, just in a new, younger form. Like reincarnation.”

His face cleared as he took in what she was saying. “Ah. I understand now. You are right – we can do that, and we will. But that is for far in the future, since this tree is still young, and still lives even in your era. There is no need to worry over such things today.”

She nodded again. “I know. There's still plenty of time.”

He stood and held out his hand for her to take, and once she was back on her feet, he led her away from the tree and back towards the village. “Come, we should go. I should check on my son before he decides to kill the monk,” he said wryly as they walked in the warm sunshine. “His plans for this hut become ever more grandiose, and if he is not stopped, he will be building a palace in the middle of the village.”

Kagome chuckled, not surprised. “Well, then, maybe we should wait a little before stopping Inuyasha. Let him pound on Miroku's stubborn head a few times to get the message across. It's either him or Sango – and frankly, Inuyasha would be less... _diligent_ in pounding that message in than she would. Miroku might not survive her attempts,” her chuckle broke into a laugh at the mental picture. After all, she'd seen it enough times to know exactly what Sango's wrath looked like – _especially_ when it was directed at the monk.

“Yes, there is that,” Mattaki chuckled. “She is very... unappreciative of certain of his more... exuberant tendencies. Still, Inuyasha might just get frustrated enough to attempt removal of certain parts if the man once more decides to add on to the hut 'because Sango promised to bear him twenty children'. Inuyasha is feeling the tether the kami placed upon him, tying him to me, very strongly right now and his patience is... less than it usually is when it comes to annoyances.”

Kagome couldn't help the snort that came at mention of Inuyasha and patience. “Oh, you mean Inuyasha had some patience to lose? I wonder where he's been hiding it all this time?”

That surprised a laugh out of her mate, and that was how they stepped back into the village – with him laughing and her grinning. Kaede, seeing this, smiled and breathed a silent prayer of thanksgiving to the kami that the earlier problem had obviously been solved enough to calm Kagome's fears somewhat, and that peace had been regained between the mates.

Before the old woman could say anything, however, a shout of, “Miroku!” followed by the sound of running feet broke the peace of the village, and Kaede sighed. Seeing the look on her face, Kagome's grin widened, as Mattaki also grinned. Within moments, a fleeing Miroku came into sight, followed by a red-faced Sango, and it didn't take the two long at all to disappear into the forest. The only reason Sango hadn't already caught the monk was simply because she was hauling Hiraikotsu, obviously in preparation for a good pounding.

Still grinning, Mattaki pulled Kagome along behind him as he headed in the direction they'd come from, looking for his son. When they reached the site of the so-called 'hut', they found Inuyasha laid out on the ground with his hands behind his head, a rather vicious smirk on his face as he looked up at the brilliant blue sky.

“So... what was that all about?” Kagome asked, and Inuyasha flicked a quick glance her way before looking back up at the sky.

“Oh, I dunno... might be because I mentioned to Sango how big this so-called hut was getting – and Miroku's reasons for claiming to need such a large 'hut'.” He shrugged. “Next thing I know, Sango's face is red and angry, and Miroku's running. But who really knows why those two do anything _,_ anyway?”

“Oh, come now, Inuyasha,” Mattaki returned knowingly, “you are not as naïve as all that. You knew exactly what to say to set fire to that firepit. The only question is why you did it.”

“Keh. Monk needed a good reintroduction to reality, and I didn't feel all that much like being the one to chase him down and give it to him. Let Sango do it – he's her problem, not mine,” Inuyasha grunted, still not looking away from the sky.

“And the fact that it's a nice warm, lazy-type day doesn't play into this somewhere?” Kagome asked suspiciously, eyeing her friend laid out in the sunshine and looking a little drowsy. “Looks to me like you just wanted to take a nap.”

Inuyasha glared at her out of the corner of his eye. “Yeah, and you're here talkin' to me and messin' that up. Go away!”

Mattaki just shook his head and sighed, finally letting go of Kagome's hand to walk over and grab his son by the front of his haori, dragging him to his feet and ignoring his son's petulant growl. “I do not think so, Inuyasha. There is work to be done, unless you wish to be stuck with Miroku again in close quarters through another winter.”

That got the hanyou's attention, and after a moment spent pondering on that rather unwelcome possibility, he sighed and nodded as his father set him down. “Feh, fine. You've made your point.” Then he looked assessingly at his father. “Hey, you know, you might actually be useful. As we were beginning to lay out the lines for this 'hut',” he rolled his eyes, “we came across a very large boulder stuck in the ground that's going to have to come out, as you can see. The thing's huge, so maybe you could just dump some of that poison of yours over it and let it dissolve. Would save a lot of work on this project.”

“I'm afraid not, Inuyasha.” He smirked. “I do not share the doku of your brother.”

Inuyasha froze, and then turned narrowing eyes on his father. “What the hell? I saw your claws glow green just like his do! You threatened to take my arm off with it if I tried to fight you outside the dojo!”

Ignoring Kagome's shocked look, since she hadn't been there at the time to hear that little threat, Mattaki answered his son with an even wider smirk.

“What you were seeing wasn't really poison. He got that ability from his mother. What you saw was a mimic – I used it that first time to scare you, because it was something I was pretty sure you'd remember from Sesshoumaru. My primary weapon is pure power – like the lightening you see during storms, but I can use it-” he let his fingers glow green again for a moment like Sesshoumaru's doku, then changed the color, allowing it to cycle through the color spectrum, “-to mimic anything I wish.”

“You bastard!” he breathed, eyes wide and stunned at his sire's trick. “You deliberately lied to me!”

Mattaki shrugged unconcernedly. “No, I let your eyes lie to you. It is not my problem if you see something and mistake it for something else,” he said as he turned away. “I'm afraid the only way you are getting that boulder out is the old-fashioned way, boy, so start digging. You are inu, so that shouldn't be beyond you,” he taunted before turning away and reaching for Kagome's hand again, just as Shippo floated in from somewhere and laughed at Inuyasha as he heard Mattaki's final words to him.

“You should just give up, Inuyasha,” Shippo chortled, “since your papa is always gonna be one up on you!” as he popped out of his balloon form and landed on Mattaki's shoulder.

And to the tune of Inuyasha's swearing, the three disappeared around one of the other huts, two laughing openly, and another snickering to herself.

~oOo~

Despite Inuyasha's swearing and Miroku's grandiose plans, the hut did manage to go up that summer – though slowly. When it was finally completed, only the village headman had a bigger hut, and not by much.

Though somewhat disappointed that his plans for a much bigger abode had been shafted, Miroku was mostly pleased with the final result, and by the time the autumn winds began to blow, it was ready for occupancy.

Not a moment too soon, as it were, since Sango was coming close to her time, ripe and round with child, though she still managed to lay her husband low if he got out of hand. She would birth sometime in the coming winter, and Kagome was a bit disappointed with the timing, since depending on the weather and other such things, she might not be able to make it in time for the birth.

Still, nothing could be done for it, so she sucked it up and smiled for her best friend, promising to do her best to be there if she could.

By the time the autumn chill kicked in, Mattaki forced Kagome away from her friends in the village and took her home, and they settled in to live out the long winter months in relative comfort. Inuyasha was still not happy with his leash, but he'd stopped talking about it too much, so things were fairly peaceful despite Sesshoumaru's frequent presence.

For some reason, the inuyoukai was a fairly constant visitor, and Kagome had her suspicions as to the true reason for said visits, though she never said anything, of course. But truly, she was pretty sure it was simply because he wanted to be near the father he hadn't seen in two hundred years – until he'd been resurrected by the kami and given a new purpose in life.

It did have the effect, however, of softening the constant fighting of the two siblings. That might, however, have mostly been due to Mattaki's 'family time' in the dojo when they got out of hand, which pretty much consisted of Mattaki tearing the two to pieces in so-called spars. Kagome called them 'ass whippings' which was technically the absolute truth when it came down to it, though far less polite than Mattaki's term for them.

Autumn inevitably moved into winter, and Kagome became more and more anxious as the time of Sango's confinement came closer. She wanted so badly to be there for the birth of her friend's first child. She and Miroku had overcome tremendous adversity and loss and had found love through it all. They deserved the joy their lives now were more than almost anyone she knew and she wanted so much to be there and share that with them.

The winter was bad, though, again this year, and she had no way of knowing exactly when Sango would go into labor, so it wasn't even as if her mate could just orb them there. 

Luck was with her, however – or maybe it was the hand of the kami – but Sesshoumaru appeared one morning from one of his Rin visits and informed them that Sango had just gone into labor, so Kagome hurried to get dressed warmly and then exhorted her amused mate to get them to the village, like yesterday! He told her to calm down, of course, pointing out the fact that this was Sango's first child, and the labor would undoubtedly be long.

Sango proved him wrong, however – her twin daughters were born in under five hours, and they barely arrived in time to see the girl's greet their first day. Kagome cried more than the new parents, cooing and fussing over the newborns with an easy manner that showed just how good a parent she would be to her own children – if she was ever able to face the possibility of their eventual deaths and actually birth them.

But Mattaki had patience – and plenty of time, obviously – and as the seasons turned again, life moved on in the patterns that it always does, spring following winter, and summer following that. 

She barely felt as though she'd blinked before Rin was a ravishing sixteen year old young woman whose childish adoration for Sesshoumaru had grown into a woman's love, and when the inuyoukai did as his father had said he would those years ago and offered her the choice, she chose to follow him as she'd always done, forsaking a purely mortal life for a much longer one. 

Surprisingly, the girl had power. Not as much as Kagome, a bit less than Kaede, but it was enough to make sacred arrows, do basic blessings and small barriers - and more importantly – secure a true youkai mating bond. Everyone had been surprised when Rin had just woken up one day, just as she passed into puberty, and managed to torch one of Kaede's arrows. Sesshoumaru, however, had been elated, showing more emotion than Kagome had ever seen from him when he'd found out. It meant that he didn't have to lose her to a mortal's short lifespan, something he had been dreading, but accepting of nonetheless.

Mattaki didn't say a word, didn't by any measure give away his plans, but while Sesshoumaru may have forgotten his transgression in interrupting a brand new mated couple on the first morning of their new bond, _he_ hadn't... and after all, he'd promised the boy that he would get revenge. It wasn't _his_ fault Sesshoumaru hadn't really paid attention to his warning.

And so it was that he dragged a protesting Kagome and an oddly happy Inuyasha to go visiting at the Western Palace – the very night Sesshoumaru had planned to mate Rin. Kagome had never seen the likes of that meeting – both Sesshoumaru and Mattaki stared each other down with the most expressionless faces she'd ever seen – they were actually trying to see who could show the most empty expression! Kagome couldn't pin it on either – but it became quite apparent where Sesshoumaru had gotten his flat, expressionless mien from, because his father also had it... in spades. 

What that translated out to was a roughly twenty minute staring contest that Mattaki finally won when Sesshoumaru blinked. And then a nasty, completely evil smirk washed across Mattaki's face and he said, “I warned you, boy. You thought it was funny to interrupt me – and now I'm giving it right back to you. As I said, payback's are a bitch. You shouldn't have started it.”

Inuyasha finally lost it and burst into laughter, pointing his finger at his brother with glee. “You shoulda known better, bastard! And you always called _me_ a fool!”

Sesshoumaru glowered at his father for several long seconds, and then at the giggling hanyou, before turning on his heel and leading them into the palace, his back stiffer than she had ever seen it. Kagome just knew that Sesshoumaru was even at that moment plotting his revenge. She sighed – this looked to be a very long, drawn out war between the two, and she wasn't looking forward to it.

She had to admit, at least privately to herself, that it _had_ been funny, however. She would never, _ever_ say that out loud, of course. 

Before she knew it, many, many years had passed, seeming like the blink of an eye just as the kami had said it would, and their words hit her fully on the day that Sango died, her grief deep and leaving her inconsolable for months after her best friend, her almost sister, had passed on. That grief was not helped when Miroku also finally died, following his beloved taijiya into the afterlife, hopefully to be reincarnated and meet each other again.

Though she'd grieved and been sad when Kaede died, Kaede had already been an old woman when she'd met her, and she'd always seen her as a grandmother figure. She'd loved the old woman, but had already expected her death due to her advanced age. And it had come only about ten years after the fall of Naraku, so it had been relatively quick. With Sango, it was different. She'd known her from the time they were all just young adults, and had spent all those years close to her and Miroku. The loss was much, much deeper.

Her last minutes with Sango would be forever engraved on her heart and in her mind as they spoke their goodbyes and held each other one last time. Her heart breaking, she told Sango then of the horrific feeling of loss her immortality was leaving her with – a yawning pit inside her that nothing could seemingly ever fill again.

“It will be uncountable eons before we meet again,” she barely managed to get out thru a throat constricted with grief. “I don't know how to bear it!”

Her friend reached up with a weak hand and brushed a tear from her face. “The kami never give you more than you can handle,” she rasped. “You will live forever. And I will be reincarnated again, probably right around the same time as that lecher, and so you see, we _will_ meet again. I think you will be able to find me just fine when the time comes and I'm reborn. So don't cry so much, Kagome-chan, I don't wish to have my last sight of you in tears. Smile for me.”

Kagome was surprised by Sango's words, because she'd really forgotten about the fact that Sango would be reborn again. Still, she wouldn't be quite the same, and the fact that she was losing _this_ incarnation tore her apart. But she wouldn't want to upset her friend, and so she wiped her tears and smiled one last time for the dying taijiya so that her friend's last sight of her and all her family and friends that had come together to say goodbye would be of smiles and happiness for the years of memories they'd made together.

Her smile lasted until Sango breathed her last, and then it fell from her face as she looked at a grief-stricken Miroku and burst into tears as she collapsed into his arms and sobbed her heart out, her tears mixing with his own. 

Inuyasha, despite his public face of stoicism, also grieved heavily, though he did it alone, becoming more taciturn than usual for some time as he worked his way through the loss of two of his first true friends. For a time, Kagome was almost afraid he would go back to pushing everyone away except she and his father for fear of losing them, too. She wanted him to have other friends, and maybe, someday, a mate, too, not hide himself away.

But it was something they both had to work their way through in different ways, because while Inuyasha tried to hide himself completely away from others, Kagome just kept herself from getting too close – as Mattaki pointed out one day after she'd been talking to him about Inuyasha's problem. She was left stunned at his words, every one of them hitting like poison darts her still open wounds at the deaths of those she had loved so much. She avoided him for most of a day while she thought about what he'd said, and even after that, though privately she admitted he was right, she found herself almost unable to allow others too close.

She didn't bother Inuyasha again after that, however, not being the type to be hypocritical. Once she'd been faced with her own culpability, she admitted it and backed away from pursuing her hanyou friend about the same matter.

Honestly, however, Mattaki wasn't overly concerned with Kagome's refusal to let anyone too close. Most youkai were the same when it came to those with shorter lives than their own – after all, a person could only take so much grief before they snapped, and youkai were no different.

Shippo, as he pointed out to Kagome one day, was actually rather different in that, since he'd obviously been close with the slayer and monk and had also grieved deeply at their deaths. But Shippo had also bounced back a little quicker, simply because he'd learned to accept loss at an early age through the deaths of both his parents.

It wasn't until about two hundred and fifty years after Naraku's defeat that Mattaki brought up the possibility of having children of their own. When Kagome brought up the painful loss they'd be setting themselves up for if they did in return, he sighed, exasperated with her.

“What makes you think they will die? Did you ever think that perhaps their parent's immortality would be something passed down to them?” he growled, frustrated. “You are worrying over something that might not even come to pass, and even if it did, would not be for centuries, possibly a thousand years or more. Look at Inuyasha. He barely looks a day older than he did when the kami brought him back – and yet, it has been two hundred and fifty years! And his mother was certainly not immortal!”

Kagome blinked at her frustrated mate, surprised out of her long-held fears at his words. She'd never thought of any of that, and now she felt rather foolish as his words sank in. She'd been doing exactly what the kami had told her not to do that day so long ago when she'd gone to the shrine above the village to ask for answers – focusing on the losses, and forgetting the good.

_Damn... if I don't feel stupid – two hundred and fifty years of angst, and all for nothing. Why couldn't Mattaki have told me this back then, damn it?!_

She glowered at him, then, rather annoyed that he'd never said these things before. “So why'd you let me fear this topic for so long and not say anything about it?” she demanded with narrowing, dangerous eyes.

“I was rather hoping you'd have figured it out by now,” he returned her glower, “instead of continuing your moping on the subject. Why do you insist on expecting the worst?”

She stiffened then, and said quietly with an inflection he'd never heard from her before, “You're youkai, Mattaki. You may or may not be immortal or close to it as inuyoukai, but your lifespan may as well _be_ immortal from a human's viewpoint. You grew up _expecting_ that long lifespan, unless killed, of course. I'm human. I grew up _hoping_ for around eighty or ninety years, maybe even a hundred, because my family is fairly long-lived, for _humans_. It takes a huge adjustment for a human to all of a sudden become _not_ human, and you don't seem to see that. Even the kami don't really understand – they can't. So it's easy for all of you to say I should just be okay with all of the changes immortality is bringing to my life – because none of _you_ are the ones that have to face them.” Then she turned on her heel and disappeared, needing a little while to settle her thoughts and emotions – _away_ from sometimes insensitive dog demons.

Mattaki stared after his little mate with shocked regret, because the truth of the matter was that she was right. He'd been so frustrated that she couldn't just see... all the while expecting her to think like a youkai – but she wasn't one, and it wasn't fair to expect her to be one, either. He didn't want her to be a youkai, he liked her just as she was. But there were fairly large racial and cultural differences between youkai and ningen, and he'd been trampling all over some of those differences. He sighed, because he owed her a major apology. 

He respected her obvious wishes to be alone, however, and waited until after the evening meal to take her aside and apologize. Being Kagome, she accepted his apologies and the incident was forgotten by her, though not be her mate. He made sure to keep it in mind so he didn't put his foot in it again.

It wasn't long after that incident that a piece of she and Inuyasha's past found them: Shiori, the bat hanyou that Inuyasha had saved so long ago was running from more persecution – and ran right into them on the road as they traveled from the Western palace to Mattaki's. Inuyasha was nearly struck dumb when he saw her – she'd grown up quite, quite nicely, which didn't surprise Kagome one little bit – she'd shown the promise of just that even as a child.

All in all, it didn't take long for Inuyasha to fall, and when he formally approached his father to ask his blessing on a mating between he and the still tiny Shiori, Mattaki finally released his hold on his son and freed him from his bond, certain that his son was now ready to truly be considered an adult – one who would bring honor on his name instead of dishonor. The two were mated that very night.

Kagome couldn't have been more pleased, and let her longtime friend know it with a hug and a happy smile and congratulations for both of them. 

It was just around that same time that Kagome woke one morning to find her mate awake and... snuffling into her belly like a cat high on catnip? Staring at him bewilderedly, she blinked, and then asked, “Mattaki, what are you doing?” in a voice still muzzy and confused with sleep.

She was pushed into complete wakefulness with the brilliant smile that washed across his face when he looked up at her and said, “You are going to make me a father again, my love – you carry.”

Stunned, her eyes widened and filled with tears and her hands closed over her belly almost protectively. “Y-you're sure?” she whispered, her eyes searching his for confirmation.

“Yes... as of just this morning. You will carry for about six months,” he responded, moving her hands and then laying his head back down on the soft flesh of her stomach.

A little unprepared for the rush of joy the news brought, she was left silent for a little while and simply laid there letting all the suddenly excited and nervous thoughts run through her mind as they willed.

Her heart was full to bursting at the news, truly, and suddenly she could hardly wait to meet their child. They'd waited a long, long time, after all.

Things had finally come full circle from the day she'd woken in Kaede's hut, injured and alone and so seemingly forsaken. But she hadn't been alone for very long, and she suddenly remembered a thought that had come to her, back then, and realized that she'd been so much more correct than she'd thought...

The past was dead, the present was dying, and only the future still lived.

And that future promised so very much... as she could finally see.

 


	19. Epilogue

**Epilogue: Between Gods and Devils**

“Stop that infernal laughing, Shippo,” came the imperious tones of Mattaki, but his demand was for naught, because even as the kitsune tried to choke off his laughter, Inuyasha took it up, practically rolling on the floor.

Mattaki stared at them for a moment in consternation, then looked at Sesshoumaru, a deadly light sparking in his eye at the hidden amusement he could just _see_ in his son's eyes. “So you think this is funny, eh, Sesshoumaru? I bet you've been planning this for some time, haven't you?”

His son simply looked at him blankly, just as he always did. “Was it not you who said, 'paybacks are a bitch'?” he asked coolly, giving his father stare for stare. 

Eyes narrowing, he returned, “And who is to say that I will even allow you this 'payback', eh? I could simply refuse to move from this spot, you know. Then where would you be?” his tone getting louder to override the laughing hyenas.

The male's little pissing contest abruptly came to an end as Kagome, voice tight with pain, pointed at the door with a look of fury on her face. “Go! All of you, out!” She turned her glowering stare on her mate, who was opening his mouth to protest, and her fingers began to glow pink. “That mostly means you, Mattaki! I can't believe you – starting an argument over that stupid one-uppmanship thing you two have going - while I'm in _labor_!” she shrieked.

The males could all see the anger and pain in her eyes and immediately dragged a protesting Mattaki from the room, not surprised when a barrier went up around it as soon as they were out. And then Sesshoumaru turned with a smirk to look at his sire.

“That is how I can be sure you will move, father,” he said smugly, greatly enjoying the dawning expression of understanding on his face.

“You... you sneaky little bastard!” Mattaki breathed, stunned at his son's ploy. “You knew that if you got me into an argument, she'd get mad and kick me out! Oh, it's on now, boy. Just you wait...” he trailed off ominously, already plotting his counter-strike.

Shippo and Inuyasha just continued laughing, enjoying the long-running battle between the two immensely. They could hardly wait to see what Mattaki came up with in return. They were still laughing when their youngest brother, Touga, entered the room.

He shook his head and sighed as he eyed his brothers laughing figures, and his father's angry pout. “Mother kicked you out, didn't she?' he asked, though it was really a pointless question, as it was perfectly clear that was what had happened. He shrugged after a moment as his sire turned to look at him. “Oh, well. You don't need to be in there stressing her out, anyway, you know, otou. I still remember when Shizuko* was born. You nearly drove her through the roof with your pacing and growling at everyone and whatnot.”

Inuyasha grinned widely and put an arm around his youngest brother. “You're right about that, little brother. I think Sesshoumaru did your mom a favor, actually, with this little scheme of his,” laughing again at the scowl on their father's face.

“Indeed,” Sesshoumaru intoned dryly, also remembering how crazy their father had gotten at Touga's birth, though he was hard pressed not to smirk widely when an unimpressed Shiori grabbed her mate's fluffy white ear and exhorted him to quit his inane giggling already. The yelp his brother released brightened his eyes with pleasure.

“Disrespectful whelps,” Mattaki growled, glaring at all his offspring inimically and ignoring the byplay. _You'd all better watch your backs..._

While Mattaki was contemplating revenge on a wide scale, Kagome was busy bringing their third child into the world – and wondering why she hadn't learned her lesson with the first two. “I'm never letting him near me again!” she growled out, to the amusement of the midwives. They'd heard that one before.

The one near her head pressed a cool cloth to her face and let her have a sip of water as the contraction waned, though she was careful to keep it a small sip, much as Kagome disliked that and wanted to down the entire glass.

“Come, Kagome-sama, you know you do not mean that,” she chided gently. “You've said that all three times now, and yet, here you are.”

Kagome glared up at her. “Yes, and I'm contemplating on the reason I didn't learn my lesson those first two times right now. This time, I mean it!” she got out on a yell as yet another contraction crested over her.

“Yes, yes, Kagome-sama,” she said soothingly, though she was still smiling knowingly. “We know you are serious this time. But you must put those thoughts aside and concentrate on bringing this babe into the world. You know you will be very happy to meet your newest little one.”

She glared at the midwife, though she didn't say anything, since she knew the woman was right. She'd be even happier that the labor was over once the child was born, however, and continued right on cursing her mate out as contraction followed contraction.

Fortunately, perhaps, for Mattaki's male bits - which Kagome had been threatening to take off towards the end of her labor - this being her third child, the labor went much quicker and before she knew it, she was holding her newest child in her arms – another daughter. She knew Mattaki would be ecstatic, since female inu were rare, and their children, while technically hanyou, didn't present that way. Anyone not knowing would take them for full youkai – and be terribly confused when realizing that their mother was human.

Tearing her gaze away from her sleeping babe, which Mattaki always insisted was to be called a pup, she smiled wholeheartedly at her mate, her anger and threats completely forgotten in the joy of meeting her child. “Look, Mattaki, another daughter! She's so beautiful...” she went back to staring and cooing at her child as her mate approached quietly and with a sense of wonder in his eyes.

His nose was already busy twitching, taking in the clean, powerful scent of his newest pup, awe taking him over at the sheer purity of her aura. This child carried her mother's power, unlike the others, and he found he wasn't surprised to find that the babe was dark-haired and fine-featured, her ears more rounded, though with a sylvan point to them. 

“She looks like you,” he breathed.

“No, she has your features, and my coloring. But her eyes...” she shook her head, bemused, and watched her mate's face as he growled softly at the pup, who immediately turned to look at her father.

He gasped, startled.

Both of their other children had the golden eyes of their inu heritage, but this child... did not. She had eyes of the lightest, most crystal blue he'd ever seen on anyone, human or youkai. Her gaze was direct, yet otherworldly, even as an infant, and he knew then that this child was something special. It radiated from her as her aura bumped up against his, instinctively knowing her father and responding to his growl. Whether her appearance was human or not, it was clear that her inu blood was strong.

“She's... she is...” he tried to articulate, and Kagome nodded.

“Yeah,” she sighed. “She's beautiful, isn't she?”

“How could she not be with you as her mother?” he asked, a rather besotted smile on his face as his glance flicked up at her from where it had rested on their child.

Kagome blushed, because she knew at that point she was anything but beautiful – hours of painful labor tended to make a woman sweaty and messy.

But before she could answer her mate's observation, a rap against the doorframe netted Mattaki's attention and he called out, “Come in,” in a soothing voice so as not to disturb his daughter's sleepy snuffling against her mother's chest.

The door slid open and a gaggle of beings almost fell into the room; Inuyasha, Shippo, and Touga making enough noise to wake the dead as they rolled into the room, followed by a still small Shizuko, Sesshoumaru and Rin, as well as Shiori - who was glaring at her giggling mate - at a much more decorous pace... and decibel.

“Silence!” Mattaki hissed, and the three rolling around on the ground wrestling each other froze. “Your newest sister is sleepy, and I'll not have you three idiots disturbing her!”

With the sex of the newborn thus announced, the group all piled close to the bed to get their first glimpse of the family's newest member. When Kagome pulled back the blanket swaddled around the babe just enough for the group to see her, several gasps were heard, as was Sesshoumaru's trademark, “Hn.” They all watched as the pup sniffed and then turned to look their direction, and several comments were made as her eyes captured all their attention. Even Sesshoumaru seemed to be enraptured by his sister's crystal stare.

“Her soul remembers eternity,” Sesshoumaru said softly after a moment; surprised, Mattaki looked at him.

“What do you mean?”

“It is why her gaze is so profound, even as an infant. Her soul – it remembers the true shape of things.”

Kagome nodded – she understood what he was saying, though his rather poetic turn of phrase surprised her. Just then, her child burbled and let out a small whine, and after already giving birth to two inu children, she knew that sound.

So did the rest of the group, save for Rin, and with their usual noisiness the mob moved back out of the room, Rin holding a sleepy little Shizuko's hand.

As soon as the room was clear, Kagome opened her yukata and put the pup to her breast, watching with a quiet smile as her baby fed. “You were right all that time ago when you said that you couldn't regret having your sons, even if they died before you,” she finally said softly, barely above a whisper. She didn't look away from her newborn to see the sharp look her mate shot her. “The thought of losing them... Touga, Shizuko, and now this little girl...” she sucked in a painful breath and blinked to keep the tears away, “... it hurts. But I couldn't regret having them.” She finally looked up with teary eyes but a small smile. “We need to name her.”

Mattaki looked down at his newest daughter, a surge of love and protectiveness washing through him with all the power of a force of nature. _My little girl..._ He caught a flash of those oddly knowing crystalline eyes of hers, and said, “Minori.”

Kagome blinked, and then nodded as the very appropriate name kicked in. _Truth... yes, it fits._ “Minori. Her eyes will always see the truth, she will never be blinded by falsity,” Kagome said formally, basically blessing her child as she lay contentedly sleeping now that her first meal had been consumed.

The moment was broken as Kagome moved and wrinkled her nose with pain, her shoulders slumping a bit as her exhaustion finally caught up with her. Mattaki noticed and expertly took the infant from her, setting her to sleep in her little basket, and then helped his mate lay back in the futon to rest.

She smiled sleepily up at him, blinking drowsily. “Are you happy, Mattaki? You have no regrets about how your life has turned out?” she murmured, barely awake still but for some reason needing that reassurance. Her mate just looked at her, astounded that she would need to ask such a question, especially after so long together. 

“Just what do you think I would have to regret, Kagome?” he asked her, surprise in his eyes as he gazed at her. “I have five beautiful, powerful children, a wonderful life, and the most important thing of all – you. What more could anyone ask from life?”

Her smile began to soften as she drifted off to sleep, a, “I'm glad,” puffing through her lips on a sigh as her eyes finally closed and consciousness left her behind.

Mattaki chuckled a little at the sight of her like that, unable to help the softness in his eyes as he looked at her. She looked like an innocent little girl with her inky lashes laying against sweetly flushed cheeks, her plump, rosy lips just slightly parted. But she was far from a child, and certainly wasn't innocent any longer.

_No... I have no regrets about how my life has turned out. The only real thing I'm sorry about is the now bad blood between Satori and I. For Sesshoumaru's sake, I wish it had not been so. But I could not bring myself to love her, she who was so cold and arrogant to all around her. And I was not willing to allow her behavior around those I care for any longer._

He was just glad that Sesshoumaru was as unaffected by it as he was. He showed no interest in being around his mother much, and that was, of course, mostly because of Satori's reaction when he'd announced his decision to mate Rin. The female had blown her normal cool, actually _ordering_ Sesshoumaru not to dare mate a weak human wench. Sesshoumaru had coolly informed her that he would do as he pleased, and if she did not like it, then to go away and stay away, because he would not tolerate her attitude upsetting Rin anymore than his father had tolerated her behavior with Kagome.

He'd paused at that, looking contemplative, and then revised his words, remembering what he'd been told of his mother's visit to his father after he'd been brought back, and the resulting divide it had placed between he and Kagome. 

“Actually, I will tolerate your attitude _less_ than father did. If you upset my mate, I will kill you.”

And then he'd turned and walked out, the whole thing being re-told to Mattaki by Inuyasha, who'd happened to be present when Satori had descended on her son with all of hell's fury. But Sesshoumaru was an immovable rock against her rushing tide, and finally, her fury had been worn out and her son had simply dismissed her from his life without any seeming regret.

Even now, so many years later, Sesshoumaru had only seen and spoken with his mother rarely, keeping her away from Rin entirely.

He wondered idly, then, when one of his sons would make him a grandfather... he was kind of looking forward to that. So far, however, neither had shown any inclination towards having pups of their own, Sesshoumaru remarking to his question on the subject one day that as far as he was concerned, he and Kagome were breeding enough for all the inu.

Kagome's cheeks had burst into flames, but she couldn't deny it – she'd been pregnant with Minori at the time. Three pregnancies in a two hundred year time frame was apparently considered fast by youkai. But she had certainly given her mate an earful later that night over the fact that when Sesshoumaru had made his totally embarrassing observation, he had preened with pride and smirked widely, then said, “Jealous, boy, at my obvious virility? Afraid that you and your mate couldn't keep up?”

Mattaki chuckled again at the memory of his son's response, and _his_ mate's suddenly red cheeks and scowling expression. When she'd turned that glare on him, he knew positively that Sesshoumaru had shuddered, because such a look on the good-natured Rin preceded great trouble for the one earning the look.

“ _I can produce four in one go, if you wish to see evidence of my virility, father. It would be no problem for me to 'catch up', as you put it.”_

Obviously, Rin had disabused him of _that_ notion, because Sesshoumaru never made such a statement again.

As for Inuyasha... well, he'd been mated less time than any of them, and he and Shiori just weren't ready – they wanted time to spend just to themselves, and Mattaki could hardly begrudge him the same thing he'd wanted with Kagome.

Still, it would be nice to have grandchildren, and he had the suspicion from the looks Rin had given her mate upon seeing the newborn that perhaps grandpups were not far off, at least on that front.

With a large smile, he crept onto the futon next to his now deeply asleep mate and curled around her, pushing his nose into her neck and nuzzling the soft skin with a contented sigh.

_No... I could never regret how things turned out. Dishonorable as it was, Inuyasha's actions actually brought all of us greater happiness then we would have had otherwise. I would have remained dead, and he and Kagome would have been very unhappy as mates._

_Sometimes... great good can flower from bad roots._

He sighed again and allowed his eyes to fall closed, following his mate and new pup into the world of sleep, a small smile still on his face.

The future never looked so bright as it did right then as he left the waking world for the one of sleep, and the smile stayed with him all through the night...

Even when he was abruptly woken up by a loud, piercing cry from a not so contented pup who was demanding to be fed and changed at the top of her lungs. 

“Well,” he said ruefully, blinking sleep from his eyes just as his mate picked Minori up, “there's certainly nothing wrong with her lungs, is there? Sesshoumaru probably heard her over on the other side of the palace.” His eyes narrowed at that thought and then his smile widened into an evil smirk. “Good pup,” he murmured to the still squalling child as Kagome went about changing her soiled diapers. “Wake your nasty brother up... he deserves it.”

Kagome just rolled her eyes as Minori, almost as if heeding her father's words, raised her voice even louder and continued to yell.

“If Sesshoumaru's grouchy when we all get up, you can deal with him,” she admonished, giggling softly as he scrunched his face up at her. She let out a relieved sigh when Minori stopped screaming the moment she latched onto a nipple. “She really does have strong lungs,” she murmured, smiling down softly at her baby. “We won't have any problems hearing her, that's for sure.”

Mattaki just nodded as he raptly watched his child nursing, her question from earlier still lingering in his mind as his subconscious kept enumerating all the blessings that had been brought into his second chance at life.

But always at the forefront of them all was his mate...

That future she'd once feared so much had become bright and filled with joy, and he wouldn't give any of it up for anything.

He was where he'd always been meant to be...

With Kagome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And done! This one went from a one shot to a monster, didn't it? But I'm glad I finally found time to finish it off. Hope everyone enjoyed, and thanks for following along with me on the roller coaster ride this story became!
> 
> Amber
> 
> *Shizuko-quiet child

**Author's Note:**

> Amaterasu-the goddess of the sun, the highest in the pantheon of kami.
> 
> Bishamon-the god of war.
> 
> Inari-the fox god, patron of kitsune youkai.
> 
> Princess Konohanasakuya-The Shinto goddess of Mount Fuji.
> 
> Omoikane-the god of wisdom and knowledge.


End file.
